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Can Anyone Explain?

I have always felt like an outcast, but during school, and especially the first years, it was very dramatic. I cannot complain that I was bullied, or mocked, or ridiculized. On the contrary, both my peers and teachers always stayed away from me, and told me repeatedly how frightened they were of me. I never hurt anyone, so it is beyond my comprehension, even after all these years, why I was so intimidating for everyone. I mean, what can a little five year old girl do to you, being a teacher in your thirties? 

I asked my mother, because she treated me the same way. I was always the outcast in the family, and only felt identified with dad. She said she felt an unexplainable fear towards me... WHY? I am a pirate, but I don't look that frightening, do I? 
sweetmeisje sweetmeisje 26-30, F 6 Responses May 30, 2010

Your Response


Sweet, I've read both your stories, and they both resonate with me. I too was an outcast at school. For me, it was a combination of being shy and withdrawn, being bullied and my father's drinking, which all fed into each other. It was hell at times. Like yourself, I was left doing monotonous tasks, because they didn't know what else to do with me. I always found the work easy, but I was also too afraid to put myself forward, for fear of standing out. This made me withdrawn and very bored and very anxious.

Three years!! Please do go out!! If only to get a bit tanned! :-) Maybe they were intimidated because of that in your case... in my case I spent the whole day folding boats. Oh well, I'll go and write a story about it as well :-)

It wasn't as dramatic and obvious for me, but I had a little of the same thing. I wasn't mocked or bullied, I was just sort of on the outskirts. My mom says I was probably intimidating, maybe because of my good grades and competitiveness (academically, NOT athletically, lol). But in my case, a few fun people hung out with me and stuff, so it wasn't too bad, and I've actually often been pretty happy just being ignored...hence the reason I've been hiding in my house for the last three years, lol. :p

yes, can I ask why you were alienated?

Hahahahaha :-) sure it works :-) you have made me laugh! I think I never wore that costume, but inside haha... I don't know, I always tried to discover what is so threatening and frightening about my persona, but I never had luck with my quest.

I don't get it either but I wasn't there. <br />
Did you wear a pirate suit, eye patch, parrot on your shoulder and use the word blimey or I I a lot?<br />
Did you ever apply for a job at FedEx<br />
( humor to cheer you up, I hope it works)<br />