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Oxycontin,roxicets, 80's, 30's, Dark Green, Blue....

Today was the worst. It was october 14. My boyfriend of a year and who I lived with, dumped me because he thought I cheated on him. these girls set it up on purpose. I had been clean for a month *technically* only relapsed 3 times. But now, we were over. Now, I was going to get paid tomorrow.
Brenda came and picked me up that night. "I can have cynthia front us..I know your in pain." Yes, yes take it away!! My excitement I could barley contain. And when we arrived, and she came out of the house minutes later with 30s in her hand, I was quick to rush to get the foil flattend and make a tutor out of a pen. She got her lighter out-"you first."
The thrill, the endorphins swimming through my viens as the pill slid down the foil becoming a black liquid. I held in the smoke. Brenda took her turn. I exhaled, relief feeling nothing but complete happiness just because I was smoking.
I should of known at that point I was addicted. Id get a complete thrill off the pill just sliding down the foil as I chased the smoke. Us oxy smokers as called "chasers". I wouldn't even get high off of one pill anymore. It took several. I smoked everday and whined and boo hooed when withdrawing.
Its one of the worst, I heard AFTER I got clean. Smoking it is the most intense high, just like heroin, and goes away the fastest. That was true. And also very expinsive habbit. Id smoke some H, then smoke oxys, both same high. I won't get into details about exactly everything that happend. I'm just going to tell you, it was the lowest point of my life.

I have 2 birthdays. Ones august 11, the other is november 18th the day I got clean I got a secound chance at life.
BellaVara BellaVara 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 18, 2011

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Way to go on turning it around.

When u get weak...read this to yourself again...it was the lowest point in your life. Don't. Think of weakness as failure..be strong!