Sometimes I Wonder If I'm Just Exagerating It.

When I was a little girl, my father would "discipline" me by hitting me with the leather belt in sets of three. I had to lift up my dress and pull down my underwear.
I remember being slapped by my mother when I was six because I told her that I was taking my Christmas present to her back. She smashed the present against the wall, threatened to set my presents on fire and back handed me. I turned other cheek to her and when she asked me what I was doing I told her, "Jesus said to turn the other cheek." She paused and hugged me.
Those would be the worst physical instances that I can remember from my childhood. My sister can remember more, but I can't recall most of my childhood. I've told a few of my closest friends about my parents, but when I get to the physical aspect, sometimes I feel like a whiny brat. I feel like most children go through what I went through and I'm just making it sound worse than it actually was to gain sympathy. I fear that someday someone will look at me and say, "You weren't abused, you whiny brat. Most people went through worse, you had it easy." I think that that's the main reason I don't like to bring up specifics to people, because even though I know its abuse, sometimes I feel like I could have had it worse (like my older siblings) and that it isn't really abuse. I hear such horrible abuse stories from people, and I feel ashamed. Like I should compare what I went through to what they went through.
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2 Responses Jan 29, 2012

you know there is no such thing as worse or better abuse... and if so then it's only a question about who is doing it...<br />
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If you're abused as a child you only get thought that you cant trust anyone, not even the person who is suposed to keep you safe... and this is something you lern no mattre how bad they hit you... or how lucky you are about not having real injuries...

I doubt you're exaggerating, I grew up with a mother who had borderline personality disorder, and she would go crazy at the slightest (sometimes imagined) transgression and beat the hell out of whichever of us kids were unlucky enough to be the focus of her rage at that moment. Anyways I get the same feeling consistently that I'm just being whiny, but the reality is that u and I were both abused, and speaking about it does not make us whiny, I think the feeling stems from the way we were treated and made to feel as if we deserved the abuse, or feeling that we are betraying our parents by speaking about it, but if they didn't want us to someday fight back and speak about it then they never should've hurt us in the first place. <br />
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Anyways good luck on overcoming ur horrible experience, I was told that time will make it better, but so far the only thing that has gotten better is the shaking that would occur when I tried to talk about what happened to me, and its been almost 2 yrs since the psychologist told me it would get better, hopefully u can overcome this, and don't be afraid to tell people about what happened, it was not ur fault, and u didn't deserve to be treated like that.