I Was Betrayed
Around St. Patrick's Day, if you were to tell me that I'd get over it. I'd tell you, and did tell many people I never would.
Was it because I would still love him after years, and years?
No probably not.
Just because how it happened, how it ended.
He kept asking me, "How do you want me to end this?"
What kind of stupid question is that? What could be worse than the way you were doing it?
I've been cheated on countlessly, it stops hurting as much.
I've been used, lied to, treated like complete crap.
But being left for a material ob
Hell, it doesn't get any worse than that.
The problem, I've seen,
with my two and a half year faux relationship with a liar, - is that I made him a god.
I made him the one thing I believed in.
I made him my saint and saviour.
I was blinded to see what he really was...
But the signs were there.
I guess I just wanted to see the best in someone, for once.
Isn't it great, that my first attempt at that was based on trickery?
All I have to keep telling myself is that,
next time I make someone my god.
Next time someone becomes my saint.
I have to make sure that they won't betray me.
People **** up, and I'm forgiving.
I forgived the worst of things of him.
I threw out logic, pride, and dignity.
Who knew I was engaged to Judas?
Who knew I was the saint?
Next time, I get into a situation like that.
Whenever, however with whoever.
I have to make sure that I pay attention to the signs.
He betrayed me because it was fun for him.
He used me because it made him feel better.
He cheated because he never cared at all.
Not everybody does **** like that.
Not everybody goes into relationships just to hurt someone.
At least that's what I like to tell myself.
Seems all too intentional sometimes though.
After all these months of being over him. After completely hating him. What hurts the most...
Is that, bottom line, my soul as I knew it was traded in for a few gold coins.
But I guess I have to thank him,
For reminding me why I don't trust people.
He asked me, when we first met,
Why I didn't. I told him I never was given a reason to.
He told me I could trust him.
Thanks, Judas.
