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Betrayal...it's Not Nice....

No matter the type of relationship, be it romantic, friendly, or between parent and child, an essential ingredient is trust. Trust defines every interaction in a relationship, it builds intimacy and it strengthens bonds. Without trust no relationship can thrive. Unfortunately people don’t always cherish trust the way that they should. Because it is often given freely at first it is also easily taken for granted. When trust has been damaged it can spell doom for a relationship and it can be very hard, if not impossible, to earn back.

Whether or not trust can ever be restored depends on how badly it was damaged and how much the spurned person feels betrayed. If you’ve had your trust betrayed then you know how hard it can be to let go, move on and fix the relationship. More often than not the burned person just wants to cut their losses and end the relationship, and who could blame them.

After giving of your heart and yourself, all of want to believe the person we give those things too are worthy of them...


Effects of betrayal-

The most immediate effect of the betrayal of trust is in the emotional impact on the person betrayed. Generally speaking, the greater the trust that you had put in the other person and the greater the impact their betrayal has on you, then the greater the distress you will feel.

A number of different emotions may be felt upon realizing you have been betrayed. The most common is anger although, depending on the situation, you might the fear of loss of the relationship and repulsion at the lack of integrity of the other person.

Betrayal, lack of trust, second quessing yourself....is it really worth it?

snowbunny1002 snowbunny1002 46-50, F 27 Responses Apr 5, 2010

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Trust lost is hard to gain, more than that to trust the person again is harder...

Brainyblonde- One thing I have definitely learned trust is earned. Great advice from your comment, thanks so much!

Good insights here. One of the signs of maturity is when we stop handing out trust freely as if it were our "default setting" in any relationship. Then we know that trust must be earned in small increments and over a significant period of time. Nothing can shield us from possible betrayal but handing out trust bit by bit comes the closest, I think.

april- I agree it totally sucks!

I hate the feeling of being lied to. I feel like there are parts of my life that I don't know are there, because I will never know the truth because even when I find out it is a lie I know I will never know the truth.<br />
Yes.. betrayal sucks!

MissGuided- thanks for your offer, because I have no doubt you can kick some serious ***! LOL <br />
In all seriousness, betrayal sucks.

all1rog- I couldnt have said it better. Once betrayed it is hard to get back to a feeling that you can trust the person at all. <br />
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melissa2699- thanks so much for your comments. I believe communication is always key in all relationships:)<br />
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FG- I know you wouldnt... and I am thankful for that :)<br />
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Stratos- give me a few mins and I will text you :) LOL *hugs*

Sorry bun buns! I am here for you if you need me. I will never betray you. I love you girlfriend.

Dreamspeaker- thanks so much for your comments, it is definitely food for thought<br />
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AriesRSA- I understand completely..thanks so much for your comments :) <br />
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Bobfrost- sorry to make you sad :(..sending u hugs <br />
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truthsetsufree- I am so sorry for your pain, hurt and loss of someone you love. Betrayal is such a hard thing to overcome BUT you can do it , and be all the more wiser :) <br />
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essaar- very true, it is very hard to deal with....for years to come.

Betrayal can be taken as one of the worst forms of emotional abuse..I have been through the same and it is quite tough to let go and move on..

I have recently been betrayed by the man that I love. I was not able to forgive him so I am moving on taking it day by day, and someday I won't shed anymore tears over him. I was in disbelief that he could be so selfish and disregard me and my feelings completely. I am not capable of inflicting that kind of pain on others, especially the ones I love.

Great story bunny. Trust in some instances, I believe, can never be gained back. I told the one person who betrayed my trust the most that "You were suppose to be my protector and yet you were the one who attacked me the most". Go figure. I will never trust him to protect me again and this boomeranged into all the areas of my life.

I believe that trust can be earned back, too, but as you mention, both parts need to want it. <br />
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Thank you for your post, it is really interesting, and good food for thought :D

PTMAN- I wish you lots of luck and send much love your way. If its meant to be it will work out in the end..you have to believe!

snow, after reading your story i have decided that the friendship is worth everything that i thought it was. a great friendship. and i also have decided if it is not to late for me that i want to keep it and cherish it as i did before.<br />
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i will work deligently to mkae a it work.<br />
and hopefully i will be given the opportunity to make it work, if i am not then the blame is mine and mine alone. <br />
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thank you

Your right it does hurt... even when you think you have your guard up!

i know, it hurts to be lied to or even worse. I guess I just don't let anyone close, except a precious few.

Thanks Brut,..as always your insight/comments always mean alot. Betrayal is hard and very emotionally hurtful. ...

betrayal is hard, but there are harder things to endure. luckily, I have not experienced this too often in life. great story.

Well come on smugit, lets go! <br />
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*smugit & snowy walk off into the warm summers day*....

WALK&lt; WALK&lt; WALK&lt;WALK<br />
YEP&lt;YEP&lt;YEP&lt;YEP&lt;YEP&lt;YEP<br />
always ready for the walk!

Fierce huh, not loving and cute :)..Ok well you have to be fierce at times, right? <br />
Now are you ready for a walk ? LOL

Fierce that's me slips snowbunny extra treats for the compliments smiles <br />
then creates serious look for onlookers <br />
back to work! lmao

aww smugit thanks!! You are such a cute guard dog too...are you all bark? LOL <br />
Even if you are, I am glad you are watching out for me

nuzzles snowbunny then sits to keep watch over things making sure no betrayal gets by me! <br />
Guard dog on duty here! Grrrr

It is isnt it PTMAN!! The emotional part is the worst. Don't get me wrong I think if both parties want to work through it together, it can be done. It's a long hard road but worth it if BOTH parties put in the work.

totally awesome story bunny, i felt that way not to long ago. and you know something your right first reaction cut your loses and move on. but the hurt and the emtions of the relationship didn't allow me to. i had to find a way to fix it because i cared so much about the realtionship.<br />
and at the same time if elt totally betrayed. <br />
wtf it is so confusing. lol