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Called Names And Put Down

As early into Elementary school, I can remember nearly every time that I was picked on. I admit, I was a chubby kid, but did that really give the ones who called me fat, chubby and cow, the rights to do so?

I was 7 years old for Christ's sake!

I remember the bus ride home, having to defend myself from the same group of kids, day after day after day.

It got to the point that I'd be in tears by the time that I got home.

There was one time, when I was in the second grade, when one of my classmates was giving stickers to everyone in the room.

Everybody got a flower, or a cat, or something pleasant.

Me, I got a sticker of a cow.

Finally after some years went by, I slimmed down a little, and people stopped calling me fat. Instead, they started calling me ugly.

I eventually became the kid who sat at the back of the room. Didn't talk to anyone. Just sat there, and kept to myself.

Occasionally I thought about taking my life, but was too scared to do so.

I'm now 21, and I still get the feeling that people continue to laugh behind my back, make jokes about me, and people still openly tell me that I'm ugly and that they feel sick just looking at me.

But after being bullied and put down for such a long time, I agree with them. I don't like how I look, I think that I'm fat even though I weigh 129 pounds, and I honestly don't like a single thing about who I am.
DoctorChurchie DoctorChurchie 22-25, F 2 Responses Jun 7, 2012

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You are definitely not fat that's for sure.

That's just... sad.
I'm sorry. You deserve better.
Do you realize it's in your head now? You defeated what put you in the victim's position, all what's left now is memories. I'm sure you will manage to beat those too.
As they say on the stock exchange; The Past Is Dead As Dust.