Always The Different One

My Father was in the Air Force, He met my mother in Japan and married her, so I am both Scots and Native American, and Half Japanese. Before my dad got out of the Air Force, we moved with each duty assignment, so I was always the new kid.

I was both tall for my age, and Asian looking. In American schools, they assumed I had failed a grade or two - I was actually the youngest, and would have qualified for skipping a grade or two, but that was in the Sixties, and the mantra of "staying with your age-cohort". I even had one substitute that was convinced I was a Downs syndrome child, because of my Asian appearance. I didn't talk much, at first because of my accent, and even after I was speaking English well, simply because - I just didn't feel like talking much.

My mother was a Black Belt in Judo and karate, my father was a Golden Gloves Contender - I took a lot of bullying, simply because I knew, if I did fight, I could put somebody in the hospital. I DID lose my temper once, but it was a four-on-one fight. The two boys holding my arms, and the one punching me in the stomach, all wound up in the hospital - and I wound up in a psychological evaluation.

It took me many years to understand that people find me intimidating - and expect me to be a bully. They look at me and somehow "want" me to be a bully.

I simply am the way I am - because I desire not to be bullied and intimidated. I have learned, that the way that works for me? - is that I am big enough, bad enough, ugly enough? - that no bully wishes to try their luck.

I help those that need help, I am gentle with those who need it, and anyone who wishes to try my patience will find that I can answer in kind.
angusmcfarland angusmcfarland
51-55, M
Sep 12, 2012