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My Experience Of Bullying

I have been bullied in so many ways for as long as I can remember.
I think that if you are a nice person people like to take that and abuse it to make themselves feel better or to use it to gain something.
A good friend of mine said Bullying is cowardly.. and I agree completely with him.

Bullying in School:
When I was younger I was not very attractive. I was a stick, had braces and puffy hair. All the boys said that I was the ugliest girl in school. Having a learning disability didn't help either.. as I was slow and it was hard for me to make friends. I was a loner for a while in middle school. A girl was my friend in secret. She said that she only wanted to be my friend in class but, if I was to hang out with her at recess or talk to her outside of class.. she would pound me. I was ok with it because it was someone that wanted to be my friend. People would trip me when I walked down the hallways and pour **** in my backpack.
One time I was at this camp with my class and a girl cut some of my hair off. I felt horrible.
I talked to my mom about this and she had a very similar experience. I couldn't believe that because she is so gorgeous and nice.. I was in denial. My mom said the best way to get back at bullies is to show them your stuff. Become more successful. She then took me to this makeup school and they "reinvented" me haha. I went back to school the next year and boys were falling over. I was now one of the prettiest girls in school. I was also weirded out by this.. All the guys who thought I was ugly and called me all of these horrible things.. wanted to date me? All the girls who were popular and even the girl who cut my hair off wanted to be my friend?
Going from being invisible to being in the spot light really got to me.. But, I met a girl who was just like me at first.. who was a little nerdy and different looking. We hit it off and were best friends..

Bullying in Dating:
As I started to Date guys, I knew that i was a little naive. I fell for one guy who I thought to be nice at first and he ended up calling me stupid and that I was boring.. (I think it was just because I didn't put out. I know slime ball.) Anyway.. that best friend that I had started going to another school and became well.. slutty. She had been talking with my boyfriend and they well hooked up behind my back. I found out from a girl in my school and was pissed.
Recently I dated a guy who was a bully to me in the end. At first he was caring and sweet and we lasted 6 years. But, he would put me down..saying I was stupid, saying that everyone in my circle were ******** and hating them. I just felt the pessimism pouring out of him. I ended it because it was so toxic.

Bullying in Work:
I worked with a woman for a while and she would bring her outside issues into the office. Being a nice girl she yelled at me for things that I didn't do.. for her mistakes. I would just take it in thinking, this is my boss.. I need to be cautious. My parents sent me flowers to my work one time and everyone was happy about it, except for my boss.. she was snide and rude.
One day she told me that someone had fired her, she had a nervous breakdown in the office.. and I helped her as best I could. She came in the next day spreading rumours that I did nothing to help her. I decided to quit working for her.. she was getting out of hand.

So there are many forms of bullying and they all resort back to one thing.. cowards.. people who take their **** out on others, to make themselves feel better.

Thats all for now.
Peace
FreshBeginning FreshBeginning 26-30, F 13 Responses Dec 7, 2011

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I cannot agree more... We can put a stop to bullying

Great story! I can relate as well. I think the story reveals what kind of a person you are and have always been. You're sweet, respectful and level-headed. I was a nerd in high school and the guys who ignored me asked me out in college. It does feel strange but it is also empowering. I am always very aware of bullying since I am now a mother and bullying is rampant in the schools.

Wow B.. I am sorry to hear that you went through something similar. I too was a nerd in high school.
I hear its getting really bad in schools nowadays. I hear it is worse due to social networking and bullying online.

Thanks for sharing. I will never understand why bullies exist. They can't figure out kindness = joy and....... love = peace and......... giving = happiness.... I just don't get it. I have been bullied also. But I will continue to be kind, loving, and giving. That is who I want to be. And is who I am. Peace be with you FreshBeginning.

I will always be kind, caring, and loving. That is who I am as well North.. I think we have that in common.
I won't let the bullies turn me into a bully. :)

Dear, we at some point in our life have been bullied or used for our kindness. The best thing is just to fight back and then most bullies are cowards and lay off.

Also of course, its best to be positive and try and be with positive people rather than negative people who tend to focus only on their problems.

Nice write up though. Cheers.

Hun,
I have learnt exactly as you say over the years. Please read comments and responses below. I am with people who I love being around now. This is simply a story for people who need support and to understand that there are other people out there like them. Thus, the point of EP in itself.
Cheers

my god!! so dramatic! we can make a movie out of this! really like a movie...

good to hear that you've changed your appearance in high school!

and stick up ur middle finger to those jerks and the ***** boss!

you're great. very cool. :D

Thanks but, I would feel very strange about making this a film.. since it is about my life. However, it might help some people out.
I have learned over time how to stick up for myself in the right way. Thank you for your comments.

i might feel the same too. because i'm going through it too. very welcome. :))

Wow I can relate to you in this way. By sharing my story it will help you too.



I was raised in foster homes as many were here. I was not attractive and like you I was declared stupid. Psychiatrists said I would not go beyond the fourth grade. I should not be sent to school either.



I thought being nice would make things better but this only made things worst. People were always tripping me and making fun of me. When I was nine I was suicidal and the foster parents gave me a knife and asked me to go outside and kill myself. I didn't do it. Sometimes I wish that I had.



College was no different, yes I have two college degrees. One is even a Master's degree.



Work was no different. Wherever I went I go bullied. I thought I was all alone at that time.



But you are a brave woman because you did not choose to hurt others that did not hurt you. I want to thank you for sharing your story. I would not have shared this except I thought it would show how a connection was made between us.

Wow! Thank you very much for sharing this. I could never imagine not having the support of my family however. .. And I could never imagine someone telling me to kill myself... That is horrible. It must have been hard for you to share this and I am very appreciative. It does help to know I am not alone. If you ever wish to talk more just let me know. My door is always open. *hugs*

I agree that predators target the niceness to a degree. For me I guess I choose carefully where my niceness goes these days and have a somewhat hard edge for when I need it.... I call it the fire and ice effect lol. Anyhow so sorry you had to suffer through all that.

Bullies come in all shapes, sizes, and issues. Sadly they are everywhere, I just don't know, we are all told to be responsible for ourselves and our actions. No Bully ever seems to take that into account. "Its not me or Its not my child" is the stock answer(s). I am beginning to believe there is a serious abnormalism in the Human Psyche that manifests itself in this form.

Instead of getting all out of joint because two people of the same sex love each other why don't we concentrate our efforts on this area. I have yet to hear that Bullying is healthy for the mind or heart. This is a serious issue and it does cause more than harm, it can kill. Where are the "Leaders" on this?! Religion gets all out of wack about same sex couples but is disturbingly quiet on the Bully issue. Our Politicians if elected will do away with Gay rights but what about the rights of those who abused and tormented? again, deafening silence. No one is ever cured from the effects of being bullied and that itself can manifest itself into more sinster and anti-social behaviour, our prisons are full enough.

"Leaders"-- get off you imaginary high horses, confront the reality of this--please spare me the fake speeches--and make it a priorty. Parents, take responsibility for your actions as well as you childrens. Face the reality, you all have the potential to create monsters--Lack of ability, effort, and motivation will surely prove to be fertile ground for such a making.

It's so unfortunate that the bullying can last far into adulthood too. I hope your never have to deal with this again.

Thanks SAS but, unfortunately bullying is something we all have to endure one time or another. I am sure I will come across it again.. but, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger and I now know how to deal with it.

I'm waiting for the "makes us stronger part."

When in doubt listen to Kelly Clarkson. :P And surround your self with kind, caring, happy people. *hugs*

Wow you have experienced this on many levels. Sory you had to go through this. I think we all have to go through some of this in middle school it just happens, but sounded bad for you. That is great you found a way to over come it. So were you nice to the people that picked on you in school the year before or did you brush them ?

Well.. I did bump into one guy who wasn't very nice to me whom I liked. I did brush him off.. but, I didn't want him doing the same things again to me. Thanks for your thoughts.

I was like you once.The key is to be nice to people who respect you and ignore the people who abuse you. You let others take advantage of you because they know you are too nice for them.

Believe me I was like you but then one day I decided to act confident and stop letting them take advantage of me.The abuse decreased.

Thanks for the tip. :)

that is a great story, it sucks that u had to go through all that stuff, being bullied aint much fun, bullies dum people that feel like they need to do it to get attention because they dont get attention at home from their family at home, one day, u might be saving a person that bullied u lifes, u never know, keep your head up high, u are a great girl!!!!!!

You may be right Justin. I am not sure why bullies are bullies.. but, I will have to think of that next time I am bullied. Maybe they are just mistreated themselves? Thanks you are a great guy Justin!!

Michelle.... thanks for posting this. i'm sorry that you've suffered so much bullying in your short life time. i've been giving this topic a lot of thought lately, and i've come to the conclusion that you're right... bullies are cowards. they bully the people who stand out from the crowd, because they are afraid of anything or anybody who doesn't conform... who's not "vanilla" and boring... anybody who's special or unique. it must have been so hard to figure that out on your own. i'm glad you had your mom to confide in. but the truth of the matter is that you have turned into a creature of sheer beauty... i'm not talking about the make over. i mean that you have a strength and a kind and caring heart like few others. you are an amazing person, inside... and now outside. strut your stuff, sisterlove. you are the real deal. XOXOXOXO

WOOBIE! You always make me feel so much better. It was hard to figure out at first.. but, it still kind of is. I am trying to figure out who to hang out with and am trying to surround myself with people who are positive. You yourself are also a beautiful person inside and out and I appreciate your friendship so much!
(I'm still working on the strut) ;)
You make my day brighter!!
xx

**HUGS** there are so many people here on EP that i'd LOVE to sit and have coffee with in real life. you're definitely one of them! i think you're definitely onto something when you say that you are trying to surround yourself with positive people. i appreciate our friendship TOO!! boids of a feather... we gotta flock together, chica!! :0] anytime you need to vent, you just drop me a line! XOXOXOX

*Double Hugs* I would so love to do that, sit down and just go have a coffee. That would be nice and fun!
We do need to stick together girl! Same to you, if you ever need a shoulder to lean on. I'm here. :)
(Maybe I should get me some strutin heels. teehee)

'mos def!! and link me to the pic so i can live vicariously through you! i looooooooove shoes!! :0]

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