The Ghost Girl </3

They called me the ghost girl the girl who didnt hear her own heart beat , or she didnt belivie it did and it was true i feel like a ghost like my life is pointless like its a dream or crying nightmare i bleed to know im alive coming out is kind of a regret i wish i hadnt many then i would have friends but i would be fake :/ ive been bullied all of 7th garde and im over it im switching schools because my bestfriend turned on me i lost it he wrote on my wall being ur friend and liking u was all a joke . i had a panic attack i went to mental hospital emptly ! because i wanted to die i knew how and everything 
i was so depressed and stressed out i needed this it was a place were i could breathe and not be scared now when i go to school i feel out of place i only have 4 REAL Friends I TRUST i dont TRUST anyone COMPLETELY jsut because were ive been though :(
ive been raped and they all know the boy who did it i have to see him  everyday ! i cry everyday myself asleep i hate dreams though there nightmares reminders of my past and the abuse ive been through from my dad . i hate dreams i see "HIM" raping me there . the bullies ar emy friends its all the past somethign i hate and regret but isnt my fault 
bullying isnt funny it causes pain like this i have enough going on at it is i dont need this !

kissmegently kissmegently
18-21, F
1 Response Apr 25, 2012

oh my god, I had no idea, I'm just in shock right now, I'm speechless, really I am, I'm so so sorry you had to go through all this at such a young age and all because of your sexuality, I know it's hard for you, I get the nightmares, the sleepless nights and the not trusting people part, but just I need to know one thing, and that is not all people are like this, I know it sounds like such a cliche and all, but it's true it's gunna get better, it just has to, that's how life goes, it can be tough and unfair for some more than others and judging by what you've been through I know it was bad terrible even, but you should be proud of yourself despite ALL this, you are still here, you are still moving forward, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW STRONG AND AMAZING YOU ARE ?, I'm not gunna tell you to let go of your past instead I'll tell you to use it as a fuel for you to keep going, you are still young and you have the whole world right infront of you to make it a better place, to reach out and grab your dreams, just keep holding on and keep in my mind that it's going to get better.<br />
P.S. life is not a 7th. grade there's way more out there, all those people who ever bullied you, look where they will end up in 10 to 15 years, and you'll have the last laugh. :)