I Thought You Were My Friend..

 have encountered bullying several times. The one that hit me hardest was the summer before 8th grade. At first it was cyber bullying but quickly turned into physical. I go away every summer to my camp in Rangeley, when I do I have no service or connection to the social world. This girl who I thought was a friend turned out to be my biggest enemy. She had went into my house, logged on my Facebook and did the indescribable. I had over a thousand friends and came home to 1.. It was my mother. As I was reading through the things on my wall I felt broken, scared, really upset and self cautious. I remember thinking to my self “This can’t be happening” but I faced reality.

    That year summer I turned on my self for ever trusting a girl like her. I went into a major depression stage. As school time rolled around I did everything I could to get my mom to let me stay home but of course, it never worked. I eventually got so emotional about being called names and such I started to cut. I always told my self I would NEVER stoop so low and harm myself, but it’s crazy how someone can change you within a minute. As the first day of 8th grade year finally arrived I was as nervous as could be. I kept thinking to myself “What If they beat me up, what if they pull my hair? what if I am all alone?” My mom said that wouldn’t happen.. She was wrong. I was still evolved in my sports and such so that meant I had to go to the biggest football game of the year. The thought of that made me wanna hurl.

    As that day arrived I was a zombie all day. I couldn’t focus on my work, I didn’t eat a thing and I barely moved. I kept looking at the clock feeling the pain as it slowly approached 7pm. I walked to the game and shook the entire time. As I got there I was doing pretty good avoiding the bullies, but being my self I walked to the food shack and got something to eat at half time. Walking back to where I was sitting I ran into the girl who hacked me. Right at that moment I knew I would be leaving with bruises. I don’t want to explain the whole thing but to sum it up I got my butt kicked. I was so scared I didn’t even get up. I had told my mom what happened and she said to just try and forget it happened. I listened until I got a message on my phone, It was me getting beat up.

    Things like that happen all the time where I come from and It NEEDS to stop. I have been doing all I can to make sure people like me are not afraid to walk down the halls of school or wear what the want and look good. The scars I wear are just another thing that most teenagers wear as well. They are constant reminders that I was bullied and have managed to beat it. Wear them proudly and show people that you aren’t scared anymore. Yeah I still get bullied and made fun of but the It Gets Better Project reminds me that it really does get better. Everyone is beautiful and I try my hardest every day to make sure people know that. I am currently trying my hardest to arrange a school wide assembly to share my stories as well as other victims to spread the word. Stand together to make a change.
lilliananna lilliananna
May 10, 2012