Im A Victim Have Been And Always Will Be

Hi my name is im not going to say, im a nobody im in year 8 now 8th grade as you would call it, this is something thats hard for me to talk about as i do have friends but they all think im hard and strong & stuff. but in reality im just a young girl seeking help my fingers are trembling right now...

I only have friends because I have to act like someone im not. I act stupid and dumb because they like that they don't like me for me, anyways the name calling started since well all my life im not a very pretty girl you see, i have spots spots. i hate that word i try to cover them up with loads of makeup i wear a ton which doesn't help
"what are them on your face?"
"what a slag"
"uglyist girl alive"
"your so spotty"
"your ginger"
"your a ******"
and much more.. even though i pretend and laugh it of infrunt of everyone.. i cry see im the sort of girl that will go to the toilet cry & walk out like nothing has happened iv been beat up in the past beat up because im ugly. im so ugly it hurts, and even though now if this was on paper there would be tear marks all over it.
these words hurt me you see, i know im ugly you don't need to point it out & now im getting fat im 9 stone im fat i know i am

i have spots im ugly im fat im a dog im a slag im gay im all of these things
I know ok I KNOW please stop i do go to public school i think to myself its just school just get it over and done with.
but day by day i can't handle it i can't i tell people they say i should just go and hit them i can't ok i just can't im not that sort of person ok im sorry im not hard im sorry.

I thank you for reading this i really do so thankyou thankyou
-By a girl who has no confidence.
ImNotstrong ImNotstrong
11 Responses Nov 20, 2012

I really wish I could do something for you. All I can do is beg you not to give up, beg you not to become like me. I don't know how to stop bullying, I hope someone else does and tells you. But I do know that bullies don't behave like humans. Don't count on their empathy, because they have none. Bullies don't feel sorry for what they did if you cry in front of them. If you beg them to stop, they will just laugh at you. And if you kill yourself, they will spit on your grave and mock your friends and family who grieve for you. Judging from my own experiences - I never stood up for myself and it only got more and more brutal as a result - beating the **** out of your bullies actually sounds like the best idea.

I'm not joking or trolling here, but seriously love, you should consider getting violent with the bullies. They are being violent with you in a way and until you stand up for yourself it will continue... Also, you will not develop to your full potential... If a plant is not exposed to the sun, if it is shut up in a box it will not grow... That is what you are doing to yourself by letting this continue.. This is all developmental psychology here and you are failing at it... You SERIOUSLY owe it to yourself to stand up and let the sun in, so to say... Also, don't neglect your health... Get in shape and you can have some self respect too..

I know the spots don't seem like a big deal to the people with clear skin, but I know they can make you feel ugly and disgusting and unlovable. The name-calling is just awful and I'm sorry you are going through that. I've been there too. Those bullies are so cruel, but never forget...what they say ISN'T true. They don't know you and their hurtful words don't define you. I hope you can gain some confidence too!

This too shall pass.

You are what you believe you are, not what others say you are. It's unfortunate that some people are cruel but that's their issue, not yours. As hard as this may be to hear, you deserve only as much love and respect from others (and yourself) as they (you) chose to give you. However, if you don't love and respect yourself you can't really expect much from others. I hope you can come to see Yourself as something other than a victim as I believe the solution lies within you, not others.

you are beautiful. and special. Please don't ever forget that. And don't let other people decide who you are. It took me almost 29 years, but i finally found friends that love me simply for everything that i am. I never have to pretend to be anything but me. I promise that one day you will find your real friends that will love you for everything that you are.

Sweetheart remember that they're only bullies because they're unhappy with their own life. They act strong on the outside but inside they're dying more than anyone else you'll ever know. Also, remember that right now they might make fun of you but it's always the ones that were called ugly or losers who have a better life, while the other ones don't even get out of their little town & end up with a dead end job, you have something they don't and that's brains, use them wisely. From now on, don't care of what they have to say, you might off been a victim but you're not anymore, you're only a victim because you allow them. Don't allow the insults or the stares, even if it hurts, the more you show them how bad you feel the more they're going to do it, ignore them, once they see it doesn't matter they will stop. You mentioned you are even gaining weight, don't allow it to happen, exercise, not for the looks but your healt & self esteem, exercising does wonders not only for your body but for your mind as well. Have a great day & good luck to you! :)

I was in your shoes once, believe it or not.. It was my 6th through 8th grade years. I was disgusted with myself, my weight, my face. I had no friends, im not sure how but I did have an amazing boyfriend who is still somewhat apart of my life.. Anyways, you need to find someone who likes you for who you are, you say that you cant, but I promise, someone out there thinks youre lucky to be who you are, someone looks up to you. Try finding someone whos just as in pain as you are. I promise there is someone. Its now my freshman year in high school, and I have one friend, its not much, its not what I feel like I deserve, but at least im accepted by someone. Find your someone.

Dear Girl Who Has No Confidence,

I am an adult guy. I just went through a divorce with woman I had known since we were like 5 years old. I've put on a lot of wait over the course of my marriage. My best friend is younger and while he's not mean about it, he teases me about my wait and points out that it's going to be hard to fine a woman who will find me attractive. He's being honest and trying to be humorous about it too, and I appreciate that. Still, it makes me wonder if I'll just be lonely the rest of my life. I also have to wonder if I married the person I did just because I already knew her and was afraid of being lonely.

When I was your age, I was a bully magnet. I have a big nose, and kids would call me "eagle beak." Back then, bullying wasn't a big thing in the news. I don't know what's different now, but we didn't hear about kids who were victims of bullies hurting themselves. Yeah, it sucked, no denying that, but somehow we got on and learned to not take bullies very seriously. One kid who bullied me ended up in jail as an adult. I should have punched him when I was in 6th grade; it might have taught him a lesson - and taught me more self-confidence too. I still don't believe in starting fights. My kids are grown up now but my son got picked on too sometimes. His name is one that people usually think of as being a girl's name. In fact, in means "warrior." He basically opted for homeschooling in high school, but not because he was afraid of getting picked on. By that point he was pretty self-confident and had decided to go by his middle name. He was good at solving his own problems like that, and still is. His reason was that he decided that public school kids were all ridiculously immature and he hated getting in trouble for stupid things other people did. He's in the Air Force now, and sadly he still ends up paying for stupid things others do. Unfortunately, that's life. What he doesn't have to put up with is bullies. He has good friends at work who respect him - even with a "girl's" first name.

What I hope you get out of this is that you're right - public school won't last forever. You might consider asking your parents about alternatives. In the end, though, what you need to realize - deeeeep down - is that whatever other people say or do, it's not important to who and what you are. You are the person God (or whoever) made you to be. They are no better than you, and like someone else already said, no matter how nice clothes they wear or how cool they seem to be, they've got issues they're hiding too. We ALL, no matter how together or cool we may seem to others, the best people I have known are those who have been brave enough to face their own issues, be honest about them, and work through them. The ones who refuse to do that, well, their opinions for someone who is willing to work to be the best person he or she can be.

Someday, before too long, high school will be over and you'll find that others your age grow up inside and it's easier to find people you can trust to be good friends. Just promise one thing: if you ever get to where it hurts so much that you want to hurt yourself, you'll ask for help right away and find a way to get through that. It will be worth it. No matter what you look like, or how not good you are at sports or something else people think you should be good at, YOU ARE WORTHY OF LOVE AND RESPECT. Just be the best person you can be. The people that count will notice.

i am on your situation at my young age. just be strong don't give up.
believe in yourself


I just want to give you a hug. PLEASE ignore these people and please please try and let this not affect you. They are making you believe the awful things they say about you, having spots is normal at your age, I am 19 and I suffer from acne! It doesn't make you ugly. 9 stone is NOT fat.

Man that's heart breaking stuff to hear a kid have to go through that. Don't worry the real "ugly" ones are the ones that bully you not you. Be proud that you don't stoop to their level and retaliate with violence or insults that makes you a much better person. Hang in there girlie.