My Experience...

I have never shared my experience with anyone before, it was quite a few years ago but a recent story on the news brought back some old, not so good memories of rougher times in my life and how it helped shaped me into the person I have become today.

The real bad bullying I would say started when I was in 8th grade. I would not say I am a very outspoken person, but I am not particularly shy. I had a lot of friends, or so I thought in middle school. I had been going to school with the same group of students for the most part for 10 years at this point. Up until middle school, people were for the most part friends with one another and there was no drama, people left others alone. Well when people going into middle school and teenage years, things began to change. There were a few students who were easy targets for bullies and I always felt a need to step in and defend them. I like to think I am a very caring person and I can not stand to see others get hurt and want to help whenever I can. Sticking up for the bullied would eventually come back to me getting bullied though.

Arguably my best friend through middle school, we will call him "Jim", was among the first to start bullying me. The two of us were inseparable for the last 2 years and spent almost all of our time together. When "Jim" got popular with a few girls he had a crush on, he began to change. He started hanging out with the guys the girls hung out with and those were the bullies of our grade. "Jim" began to make jokes about me and say mean things to me even when it was the 2 of us. I should have seen more coming but I thought my friend was just joking and it would end soon.

Before I finish up with "Jim" which really escalated at the end of the year I will talk about a few other things that happened the same year. About half way through the school year I got in my first ever fight, a very small one. It was in music class, and the biggest bully of our grade was picking on a kid who had learning disabilities. This kid got bullied more than anyone else and I stood up for him. Well the bully didn't like this and started yelling at me and I told him to back off and leave him alone. When class ended I was walking to my locker then he shoved me and swung at me. After about 2 punches each the fight was broken up and we went on our ways. About 1 month later, in PE class I experienced one of my worst bullying experiences and another fight. It was the final PE class of the year and he let us do whatever we want and do our own things. I was playing basketball with some of my friends when 2 kids starting saying things about me and then threw a football at me. I ignored it and continued to play basketball. After we finished our game I walked into the hall to head to the equipment room to see what else we had. the same group of kids were there and took these bean bags and threw them at me. Four of them pinned me in the corner and continuously threw things at me until I was able to get away. I ran back into the gym and told the PE teacher and he did nothing. So later on I was sitting on the bench because the experience really hurt me when one of the same kids walked by and threw a football at me...They took it back and about a minute later he threw it at my head and made my head hit the wall. I took the ball and wouldn't give it back so the kid pushed me so I threw it at his chest. He then punched me in the face and we got in a pretty big fight which lasted about a minute before it was broken up. The PE teacher said to kept it between us and not tell anyone and no one would get in trouble.

After school my Mom could tell something was bothering me and I ended up telling her what had happened. She called the school and talked with the principal. I was called into the office and asked to tell my side of the story. The next day I was called back in and they told me the 3 students I mentioned who threw things at all denied it and the PE teacher said I started the fight and he had made me not play football because I was causing problems. This was a complete lie and he never did anything like this. And obviously the bullies all denied everything but they kept saying there was more of them saying one story to mine. I had never gotten in trouble in school and was a straight A student who was respectful and all the teachers liked me, and the others were often in trouble, yet the new principal (this was her first year) did not want to listen to me. She told us that both involved would serve 2 weeks detention since we both fought and I told her that I was bullied the whole time and only defended myself after being punched in the face. Needless to say my mom refused to let me serve any detention and I ended up not, but the school made it very difficult on me. I was often verbally abused after this for the rest of the year.

Back to "Jim". I stayed friends with him still and we were at an 8th grade graduation party when I had the final straw. For the last month he kept calling me "***** Bags" and "Queer Bags". At this graduation party I had enough of it because he kept doing it in front of everyone and was doing everything to embarrass me and bully me A handful of others started saying how much they hated me and that I should kill myself for being a queer. (I was not gay by any means either) Well for about an hour I was verbally abused more than I had ever been before and not even my closest friend of my entire life stood up for me, he just said nothing and pretended not to be involved. I went to a parent at the party and asked to call my dad to pick me up and they asked why and I just said I wasn't wanted there. I called my dad and got picked up and before I left "Jim" made one last attack on me then kept pushing me and the parent I asked to use their phone before was watching and saw everything everyone was saying to me and doing to me and pulled me inside until my dad got there. I told "Jim" he was to never talk to me again and he was dead to me.

I was looking forward to high school and getting away from the bullies and starting a new life. A new school with new people. I thought my problems would be over but high school did not bring the relief I hoped for. For the first half of freshman year things went very well, I had new friends and was happy. "Jim" went to the same school but never said a word to or about me. After the first half of the year, the people I was hanging out with started to turn into bullies, not to me but to others. I noticed this and decided not to hang out with them anymore, which made me their one and only target. The first thing they did was bring in "fart spray" to school and at lunch they sprayed it on me, so I went to the bathroom to wash the spot on my pants they sprayed with soap and water. I was going to let it go there but when I walked out they were outside the door and covered me in it, so I went to the Vice Principal's office because I needed a change of clothes. She asked what happened so I told her and I got new clothes and they got detentions which got them even more mad. They would always make jokes about me from that point on.

I lived the street next to my school so it made it very easy for them to get to me even at home. The next step they took was a week later when I went home after school, they got the hose from my house and were waiting and sprayed me with it and wouldn't let me get into my house. I went back over to the school and I had made friends that were juniors and seniors through sports and asked them to help me so they came over and kicked them off my property. For the next few weeks they kept putting trash outside my house and my parents got fed up with this and called the school. They called the kids in and just told them to stop going to my house. So they did for the most part, one or two more times maybe they left trash at my door or in my mailbox. What they moved onto next was calling my house. They would call my house every day as a private number and hang up when anyone answered. They would do is about 15-20 times a day, then moved onto doing it around 3 am every day. Every single morning between 2-4 am they would call and wake up everyone in my house. After about a month and a half of this, with calls coming 80-90% of every night they had to go out and buy new phones that had do not disturb so we could sleep through the night. The calls still came in, we saw them in the morning. We never answered Private calls anymore. They would sometimes play music or stuff but usually just want to hear us say something or know they bothered us and be silent. So at the same time they would bully me in school and throw things at me in lunch, constantly make fun of me and do everything to make me miserable. One time I was sitting at my locked getting things out when one of the four kids came up behind me, took my head and slammed it into the locker as hard as he could and ran away. Most the the abuse was verbal and mental though...It got to the point where I no longer went to lunch, I would eat in the library or hide in the stair wells and eat a lunch from home so they would leave me alone. It was the same time as the phone calls...It was the lowest point I had hit. After being woken up in the morning with the calls, I would have a hard time going back to sleep and just wanted it all to be over. I would be lying if I said I did not have a lot of suicidal thoughts. I was tired of being afraid and always being hurt and bullied. For most of the year I ate lunch in the halls or would find hiding places in the school where no one could find me. I didn't tell my parents or anyone about this. I didn't always have a lunch to bring to school so on those days I would not eat anything and just sit there doing homework or just thinking about how much I hated my life. Eventually when the phone calls would not stop my parents called the police to press charges on the kids. An officer came and got the story from me and told me that they would take care of them, what we needed to do was press *59 every time I got a private number and the phone company would send the call to the police and they kept track of all the calls and who they were from. It came back to the 4 kids and the police asked us what we wanted done, my mom asked not to press charges yet, and showed it to the school and called all their parents and told them if it did not stop right then and there that they would be charges brought against all of them. This is what it took to get the bullies off my back.

Those 2 years were the worst I have ever had and I did not see a light at the end of the tunnel. Eventually though I made new friends, one's I still have today and I made something out of myself. I have a wonderful girlfriend, the best friends in the world, I go to a great college and am currently traveling the world meeting new people and experiencing so many new things. What I want everyone to know is that it does get better. Do not be afraid to tell people about what is going on. You are not being a "snitch" you need others to help you, you aren't alone. I made the mistake of keeping things to myself most of the time and it could have cost me my life. My high school bullies, 1 did not get into any college and is doing nothing with his life, one failed out after 1 semester and the other I have no idea what has happened to them. They are each other's only friends. I made so many new friends in high school after Freshman year and have had an amazing life ever since. I swore that I would do everything to make sure others don't have to go through what I had to. I beg you all, if you see bullying stand up for that person and get people of authority involved. It is the only thing that many of these bullies will respond to. Remember, things will get better and there are others out these just like you. There is so much to live for and I am so glad I am hear today. If anyone is struggling with bullying or anything at all in life, please send me a message, I am here to listen, be a friend and help however I can.
InTheLongRun InTheLongRun
22-25, M
7 Responses Nov 26, 2012

Hey, what an awful experience, I know what it feels like when your best friend stabs you in the back, it happened to me before and he became the worst person I ever met, he was so bad that I couldn't be near him, however, he attended my school only for a year and I never saw him again, and hope it will continue this way, because I'll never forgive him for what he had done to me

lovely story :'3 thank God they stopped nd am so happy you grew up and became such a wonderful peron :D

Why does this story not have more likes or responses?

I can't even fathom the situation that you were in, to be honest. They all sound like absolutely terrible kids. Good on you for sticking up for the voiceless and finally getting help for yourself. I really admire that of you and wish you the best in the future : )

Thank you so much. It really is a topic that is brushed over far too often. I almost lost my little cousin a few months ago due to her own bully problems that no one in the family even knew about. I wish more was done about it

So finally I had the time to read your whole experience. Even I was bullied in school, the worst part is, the guy who was my best friend turned his back and started bullying me with his 'own gang' members. I didnt have anyone to talk to when I was a kid and started internalising things. It was a pretty hard time for me. I wish I had a normal childhood...but oh well, it is what made me this and I am proud of who I am right now. The guy who bullied me is now doing some crap degree and apparently owns a Tyre/automobiles repair shop.

The bystander is the most vicious of all. If you ever need anyone to speak to- we are all here for you. I was never a victim- people always feared me too much, but i certainly saw many people get terribly affected and spend my time supporting young children with such issues. Nothing will change until society changes- and until all people, the bullied, the bully and the bystander gets educated.

Agreed...It really can destroy lives. Luckily for me I seem to have a happy ending and in the end and it shaped me into who I am today and has prompted me to also do things to help support anti-bullying campaigns.

It can- and it does. Children can be very cruel. You made an amazing transformation- not many regain esteem for years to come.

I'm sorry to hear about all you've been through from the hands of those bullies. But i am glad you finally overcame it. You have a good life now and what you said that we should stand against bullying should be heard by all the people here on EP and outside. I feel lucky enough that bullying is not so common in our place or at least during my school days.

Yea it was rough...but when I look back now I still remember all the good times because I had a lot more of them after the bad times. Going through it was really rough though, I was close to my breaking point when the police had to get involved...But now I look where I am and all of those bullies...failed out of college or didn't even get in...and it shows who won in the long run (didn't mean to use my username there but it happened lol)

Great article mate, god bless!