A Lifetime`s Worth

I really don`t know what it is about me, but I`ve always been a magnet for bullies. Maybe its because its so bleeding obvious that I`m shy, awkward, quiet and delicate.

At school I only ever had a few friends. For the most part my 10 years at school were a series of bashings, tauntings, humiliation and exclusion.

Some examples being:

1: Having my head shoved in a toilet while some animal crapped on me.

2: Being held down by half a dozen other boys and being repeatedly hit around the head with a tin rubbish bin lid.

3: Having dead flies forcibly jammed in my mouth.

4: Being king hit several times.

5: Being burnt with cigarettes.

6: Having lies spread about my sexuality & sexual practices.

7: Being robbed of money & food.

8: I`ve been thrown down stairwells.

9: Had dog crap thrown at me.

10: Had my hair burnt with a bunson burner.

It wasn`t always the kids that got into the bullying either. I had a few teachers that would ritually humilate me in front of the other kids.

I went to school in the 1970`s and I felt there was no help for me. I told my parents, but the best they would do was to tell me to stop being a wimp and to harden my heart.

God help anyone that tries to subject my son to the harassment I recieved. If my kid gets any of this treatment I wouldn`t hesitate to get the law involved in an assault case or sue somebody into the poor house. Or maybe even kick the living crap out of someone.

At 16 I left school and took the first job I could get. It was a pretty good job selling clothing. I enjoyed it and liked the people I worked with, staying for 7 years until I decided on a change.

My next job was working as a storeman in a candle factory which I enjoyed even more. It was the most enjoyable work experience I ever had. But, the business got sold after a year, and the new owners didn`t need me.

So I went back to selling clothes in another shop. This is where the bullying came back into my life. For 18 months I was addressed every morning by my floor manager as ``****** Chops``. I was soon the butt of every cruel practical joke he could invent. I would be tripped up, pushed over, have my lunch tampered with, be excluded from work functions and have my sales figures doctored so that I missed out on commissions.

One day I just snapped and walked out of the place, and had the terrible job of telling my wife that I`d quit my job. She was very supportive and knew that I was miserable, and she knew what was happening, but still I felt like a failure, and that I had let her down.

I soon got another job doing process work in a chicken factory. Again I had another foreman who wanted to push my buttons. It wasn`t anywhere as bad as the previous job. This guy just played a lot of mind games, but it was the last thing I needed. But I put up with it for 3 years.

As a result of all the bullying I developed a very thin skin. For better or worse I don`t take nonsense from anyone. Unfortunately my thin skin has cost me a few jobs , and some friendships. Lets just say that I`m not very diplomatic when I feel someones having a go at me. There is a whole lot of anger inside of me.

I can honestly say that I am a caring, friendly, decent guy. So why do I attract the bullies? Maybe I just lack the social skills to deflect their attention. Whatever it is, it has left me with a pretty negative view as to how horrible human beings can be, and my experiences have definately scarred me forever.

For the past 12 months I been out of the work-force, caring for my infant son. This has been the happiest time of my life. But, at some stage I`ll have to get back into the work-force and I`m dreading what I may find when I get back into the alleged real world.

 

musicmad musicmad
41-45, M
3 Responses Mar 15, 2009

Thank you so much Daniel. The bullying has really had a profound impact on my life, although I am beginning to feel stronger in my self. When it is time to have that strength tested will tell the truth about wether I have grown as much as I feel.<br />
<br />
Thankyou so much for your encouragement and kind words.

My lord that is terrible!<br />
Thank god I never had to deal with anything quite that disgusting.<br />
I feel that it’s important that you don’t blame yourself for being a “magnet for bullies” just because you were shy, awkward and delicate. Remember that those predators made a choice to do something cruel and inhuman to an innocent and decent human being.<br />
<br />
I always blamed myself because I was too weak to defend myself. Predators can sense vulnerability and I must have been projecting victim vibes. I know what their motivations were and until very recently I blamed myself.<br />
<br />
If you continue being bullied as an adult, as you described, please don’t be afraid to go to the police or your employers Human Resources department.<br />
Obviously, I would try to handle these things person to person as most cases are really not intended to be as hostile as they were perceived. Still document the time and date of what happened. If any bullying continues, don’t be afraid to make multiple reports on the same sort of behavior if it is a continuing problem.<br />
If you have to take things to a higher level, it carries a lot more weight to have specific documentation than just saying, “This happens all the time.”<br />
Most importantly, though, don’t be ashamed to admit what happened to you.<br />
They are counting on your humiliation to keep you silent.

I went to school in the '60s and '70s and was unmercifally bullied in elementary school. In junior high I grew 5" between grade 8 and 9 got curves. Suddenly the bullying stopped. <br />
I was socially scarred by then though and it took a long time to get past it.<br />
I have never tolerated work place bullying... <br />
My heart goes out to you.