Follows Me

Because I have not been bullied by my peers for a long time, I thought I had gotten over the pain of it. But the scars and the affect of the bullying has led to my distrust in guys, and wanting to be alone. If anyone can relate to that feeling, that feeling of when that certain person who you know has it out for you comes in view, and is staring right at you and they have that look on their face. They are about to say something and you can feel it coming, they say it infront of the whole class and you feel your face go red and it feels like its on fire. That feeling is something I would feel everyday for years in elementry school.

Kids are so cruel, and it pains me to think about how innocent I was, how quiet I was. People would always tell my parents that im so quiet and shy but they didn't know it was because I had no confidence to speak. I hated school and never went, teachers were constantly on me because of my terrible attendance. I just wanted to run away and hide from these people, these people who I did nothing to, say nothing to, but yet I was looked down upon as if I was nothing. It's damaging to feel that powerless as a child.

Most people grow out of it and become successful, they learn from their bullied childhoods. I had a terrible family life filled with constant fights and physical and emotional abuse from everyone in my family. There seemed to be no safe place for me anymore. I like to make myself think that I have also grown from it, but the problems and issues I have are no doubt caused by everything that has happend in my past.

How can people hate someone so much without knowing them? How could they try their very best and go out of their way to make them feel like complete nothing? I have no idea how messed up someone has to be to enjoy breaking someone, but I do know what it feels to be trapped and scared and lonely from complete strangers.

theConfused theConfused
18-21, F
1 Response Mar 14, 2010

Im glad you stood up for yourself! I wish I had done it when I was younger but even when I would try they would come at me harder. I know now that if it happened, I would not stand for it and be tougher about it but the memories would come rushing back, I really don't want to experience that again but it really is how life goes....not all sunshine and rainbows!