WAITING By the Phone

I FOUND OUT SEVEN DAYS AGO THAT HE HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE--I HAD A BAD FEELING AND I ASKED HIM AND HE DID NOT LIE ! WE HAVEN'T SPOKEN SINCE THEN EVEN THOUGH WE HAVE 2 KIDS TOGETHER--I AM SO ANGRY AND I KNOW I DESERVE BETTER-- I JUST HAVE A PICTURE IN  MY MIND OF BEING MARRIED TO THE FATHER OF MY CHILDREN-I DONT WANT TO LET GO OF THAT DREAM--I ASKED HIM NOT TO CALL AND HE HAS NOT--I FEEL AS IF MY HEART MIGHT EXPLODE
honey510 honey510
31-35, F
2 Responses Apr 15, 2007

Sorry to hear that he cheated on you but sadly i give him very minor points for admitting to it AND he is doing as you have asked him too, which either shows one of two things, 1. He does, despite a very POOR choice, respect you or 2. He really wanted to admit to his affair so he could get out. i hope since there are kids involved that it is the first one. Perhaps, once you have gotten over the initial SHOCK, you might beable to consider taking him back in very small steps MAKING him earn your trust!! Perhaps since children are involved the 2 of you could go to couples counselling or actually since only he was the one that did something wrong.erhaps only he needs to get some help. i admit i am a Dr. Phil guru, not everyone likes him, but i have found his advice to be both practical and positive, at least with regards to my life. He has to be an OPEN book to you forever now, and as Dr. Phil often says he will never get through this until he truly UNDERSTANDS the hurt and pain he has caused you. It might take you 5 years to get over it, and if it takes that long that is OK, and HE has to deal with it, as it was HE that chose his behaviour and thereby chose the consequences. You might even find once you get out of the shock stage that you would NEVER take him back!! Who knows????? Either way ALWAYS remember YOU did NOTHING wrong!!

Be thankful he admitted it. My husband could be caught in bed in the act and would deny. I am driving myself crazy that I don't know what is going on. I have to decide for myself what to believe and if I can trust him. I love him and don't want to lose my marriage, but that choice may have already been made for me. <br />
What you have to do is ask yourself if you can forgive him. BUT, first you have to know if it's over for him and this other person or if it is an ongoing thing. If it's ongoing, then you can't stay. If it's over and he agrees it will never happen again, there may be hope. Good luck to you.