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His Other Women

I can barely bring myself to think the world mistress because that makes his cheating feel even more real. But I suppose that’s what she was.

Ten years younger than me. He wasn't just attracted by her young body but by her "funny" and "interesting" personality. She's someone that "everyone loves".

He says he didn't set out to cheat but it wasn't a spur of the moment decision. They shared little in-jokes privately and publicly (apart from in front of me).

He claims she was nothing special. But yet she was special enough to distract him from me. Special enough to distract him from his newborn son.

She isn’t ashamed enough to be discrete. The very day after I confronted her she told another one of my husband’s work mates and they phoned me to torment me. Telling me they knew my husband better than me and basically saying I should have seen it coming.

She can not simply be cut out of our lives. He works with her. They share friends. She knows cousin’s of mine. Her aunt is good friend with one of my friends. If I could ever forgive my husband (which I think is unlikely) she will know secrets about my marriage and have the power to tell anyone them if she wishes. She lives in our hometown and knows hundreds of people on facebook.

Knowing that if I stay in my marriage people I know could find this out and gossip about me just adds to my heartache. If she had been some random person online who had no way to ever interact with my life or family and friends, it would be easier to forgive.

I might have my husband begging for forgiveness but she has all the power in this situation.
WoundedLioness WoundedLioness 26-30 5 Responses Jan 14, 2012

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Call her out for what she is. Don't let mutual friends stand in the way. You shouldn't be the one feeling ashamed, she should. Do it! Tell everyone before she does! She will look like the fool, not you!

Nip it in the bud, make the announcement yourself. On FB and everywhere else. Tell your aunt, tell your shared friends and if someone thinks they have the power, show them they do not. I am not the vengeful type, on the other hand I don't believe in allowing other people to keep you in a corner. You seem to feel that is where you are because of other people so take the control away. BUT here is the thing. Depending on how you make that announcement you will get different responses. Be careful to make sure that you do not "call her out" because she may get cruel and so will others. Say "He had an affair and we are working on it" and leave it at that. Hold your head up. The minute you call her a name or curse her in public you are setting yourself up for a negative attack. Be the grown-up in this and you will be just fine.

Nip it in the bud, make the announcement yourself. On FB and everywhere else. Tell your aunt, tell your shared friends and if someone thinks they have the power, show them they do not. I am not the vengeful type, on the other hand I don't believe in allowing other people to keep you in a corner. You seem to feel that is where you are because of other people so take the control away. BUT here is the thing. Depending on how you make that announcement you will get different responses. Be careful to make sure that you do not "call her out" because she may get cruel and so will others. Say "He had an affair and we are working on it" and leave it at that. Hold your head up. The minute you call her a name or curse her in public you are setting yourself up for a negative attack. Be the grown-up in this and you will be just fine.

Nip it in the bud, make the announcement yourself. On FB and everywhere else. Tell your aunt, tell your shared friends and if someone thinks they have the power, show them they do not. I am not the vengeful type, on the other hand I don't believe in allowing other people to keep you in a corner. You seem to feel that is where you are because of other people so take the control away. BUT here is the thing. Depending on how you make that announcement you will get different responses. Be careful to make sure that you do not "call her out" because she may get cruel and so will others. Say "He had an affair and we are working on it" and leave it at that. Hold your head up. The minute you call her a name or curse her in public you are setting yourself up for a negative attack. Be the grown-up in this and you will be just fine.

Be a lady when you do this.. most definitely dont show anger ...dont fuel the flame... just be one better than them.

If I were you, I would get the hell out of that relationship. Trying to convince yourself that you'll get over it, or that in time you'll "forget" the affair is impossible. You will always remember her face, her name, and you'll start picturing things in your mind. For example, them having sex, where they had the sex, did he like it with her more than with you? All these thoughts will flood your mind. When confronted, men always say "she was nothing special" or "the one I love is you" etc. But the damage has been done & it's too late to change anything now. Especially in your situation because the mistress works with him, they have mutual friends, and she has ties with your family. <br />
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Do yourself, your kids, and your peace of mind a favor & get out now! I'm sorry if I came off harsh, but you REALLY need to get out of this situation. You deserve so much better. <br />
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If you stay, you will always live with the memory in the back of your mind. She's not going anywhere anytime soon so, she will be there for a longgg time reminding you of it.

Not harsh... I agree with you.. but I don't think she has any power what so ever. Just remember she got your sloppy seconds and once a cheat always a cheat. Start your life anew... Be strong and be Blessed .