I Was Living A Beautiful Lie

Everything was perfect. Happily married. Just got our first baby. A beautiful girl. My husband was caring and loving. Just got this amazing new job. I had friends. Well, one night my whole world colapsed when i found out by myself that my husband started cheating on me when i wa pregnant. And then he had an affair with one of our friends. Almost everybody knew... But me. Even my brother in law...
I couldnt believe it! It was impossible. This is a nightmare.
I tried to forgive him. I tried to read books about forgiveness but couldnt open the book. Tried to read budhism texts... I tried to believe him when he cries and swear he had always loved me and that he wouldnt be able to live without me.
However since a week... I just want him out of my life. I found out 3 month ago. We went to see a counselor... But i have the feeling i tried to forgive him to quiclky.
He infected me with a sexual disease that i ll have to deal with the rest of my life: HPV. I have to do a papsmear every 3 month to check for cervix cancer...
And what makes me angry is that inwas carrying our baby when he first started and we has sex without protections. He disrespected me yes but worse: he our daughter s life in danger!
I gave up everything for him. I have bo family here. My family is in Europe. I Dont talk to my friends as i feel betrayed by them too...
I am lost.
We bought this house and we have the mortgage. I wants him out. But he doesnt understand...
Im lost and so desesperate....
Beatricekiddo Beatricekiddo
31-35, F
2 Responses May 9, 2012

For a raw stay-at-home-mom's perspective, visit my site: http://www.betrayedstayathomemom.com.

Hello, sorry to hear about your situation. I am here reading these stories to try and understand my former GF and now just a friend with benifits. Her husband cheated on her just after she had twins. I just cant understand this. I was brought up to hold marriage as somthing so sacred. If I were married I cannot even imagine breaking that covenant of love that for me is for life. I have never cheated on any of my relationships and cant fathom it. I do think you should search your feelings and see what is best for you. We usually know what is best for us but a lot of times it can be tricky to do it. I have the greatest sympathy for you and sorry that this has happened to you. If it were me, I would not continue this relationship (not saying that is right for you) I could never trust that person after such a betrayal. Take care of yourself and do not blame yourself in any way. Gods Blessing and comfort.