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My Husband Cheated

I feel totally lost! So my husband met this girl on chat 2 years ago and started talking. I didnt think anything of it cause she didnt live close by. Well she was a mutual friend of a family member so they continued to talk and get to know each other. Well after a year and a half of talking she decided she wanted to come visit. I didnt really know what to think so just agreed. The visit went well and I really liked her... well I decided that she should move over here and of course my husband had no objection. Little did I know how close and serious they already were with each other. Boy do I feel naive. Well we went to help her move cause it was the other side of the state. The first trip I went and it went well but my husband was attached to her like glue and it started really bothering me. Well the last trip to get her over he went over alone as we have kids and I didnt want to leave them for a week. I trusted him to be faithful and at the time was told he was. She moved in with us in the beginning of December.

Everyone told me to watch my back and that my husband wanted her and that she was here to steal my husband. Once again I reassured everyone they were wrong and that I trusted him not to do anything like that.

I started to become close to our roommate finally and started realizing some things were off... she was way to devoted to my husband and it rubbed me the wrong way. But every time I said any thing about it they acted like I was way off base.

Well the day before mothers day was the biggest shock of all. I found out that this whole time they were in love and sleeping together. When she first moved in my husband convinced me to let her sleep in our bed at night. Found out that no matter where I was or what I was doing that didnt stop them from doing anything. This whole time I was lied to and betrayed. They slept together 3 times during the move and countless others after the move.

My husband told me that he couldnt live with the guilt anymore so he told me and that he wanted to make things work. Even though he told me that he wants to be with me he still flirts with her and wants to see her naked and all the above! Which really makes my blood boil. I have even been told by both of them that my insecurities are my problem and it has nothing to do with them... which I am sorry but arent you the one that slept with my husband and arent you the one that ****** her behind my back?

I believed him even though I was really hurt. The first night he told me he was so sweet and loving and now I dont exist again.

I have forgiven my roommate as much as I can but have no trust in her when it comes to my husband and her being alone. She doesnt understand that and it bothers her.... but can you blame me?

Not only that but now my husband goes into all these chat rooms and flirts with all these girls and talks to them but doesnt tell them that he is married or anything... He would rather get these girls to flash him and call them beautiful and babe... not only that but anytime I ask him about it he gets super defensive.

What am I supposed to do? I wanted to make it work but now he is chating up all these other girls and not even giving me the time of day. He dont hug me, kiss me, or even have sex with me. I feel like I am going insane cause the more he talks with these other girls the more I feel betrayed and I even dream about finding him cheating on me again..

Any advice? I feel like I am going to explode
meyermom3 meyermom3 26-30, F 4 Responses Jul 19, 2012

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He sounds like a ******* loser. But, may I say, what were you thinking letting a woman move in with you? There is trusting your husband and then there is pure stupidity! I'm sorry, I feel your pain, I really do, but he sounds like a real immature ******* if he would rather talk dirty to people on a computer screen than be honest with his wife.

I agree with you

He may say he wants to work it out with you but his behavior shows different. He has already cheated, knows he's hurt you yet continues to act like a single man online. Stay with him if you feel it's right, but be prepared for more heartache. Once they've lied and cheated, it just gets easier and easier to do again. You deserve so much better.

My husband has cheated on me to so i definetly know where your coming from but thr first thing to do is kick her out of your house she obviously has no shame she slept with your husband and still has the nerve to live in your house... Smh... i would put all her stuff our and change the locks and if he says anything stand your ground put some rules if he really wants to work things out #1shes gout to go #no contact with this girl #3 cannot talk to any other girls (your his wife what does he need other girls to talk to) how would he like it if you talked to other guys i bet he would not take it but his *** on check no offense but dont let him use you has a door mat your the mother of his kids his WIFE trust me I did it so can you and if he really loves you he will do it and actually CHANGE

Oh my Gosh! First off... she needs to go. Get her out of your house!!!! They betrayed you! You did nothing wrong other than trust your husband a little to much. You need to set boundaries in your marriage. First number one of most importance Get the ***** out, then tell him to have no further contact with her, then tell him NO further contact with any chat girls on line, then seek counsel for your marriage. If these things do not work... move on ... find someone who respects and honors you and your marriage. Dont put up with this another second. Be strong, you can do it.