Being Back Home.
My story starts with I got married to my best friend of seven years, who also is a US Sailor. After the near separation by the navy, he was looking at a chance of being stationed in Japan. We got married 2/17/12. I moved 7 hours away to his command, after about a month of living together he was informed of his upcoming deployment. He left on June 20, we were fine until right at three months into the deployment. I woke up and waited on my email, which was normal for me, that morning expecting just the regular chit chat that always started my day I received the news that shattered my world. He was caught having sex with a girl from his department and was looking at a dishonorable discharge. He has begged me to stay, swore that it was a one time thing, and has told me that he didn't want to lose me. It's now a month later, I chose to stay to try to work through it, he is being allowed to stay in since he is trained to work on the nuclear reactors. The stress has been unbelievable, it's made my heart condition worsen, my hair is turning gray and thinning. My self image is ruined, all I can think about is how she was probably 'sexier' than me, how her body was probably smaller and more fit. It turned my appetite off completely the thought of eating makes me sick, I've lost a lot of weight very quickly. I hate everything about myself, because of a choice he has made. My question is, how do I cope, and move on from this as a person?