Post

Almost 9 Months Pregnant and My Husband Cheated!

I am almost 25 years old and was with my husband for almost 10 years.  We had been married for 2 years and I am almost 9 months pregnant.  In the begining of April of this year he all of a sudden had a need to go out with single guy friends that he just met.  He would tell me they were going to work meetings and it was a guy thing.  He would travel north of our home to hang with the guys by train.  I would have to pick him up at 3 in the morning from the train after he had gone out drinking.  So at first I just thought he was worried about becoming a dad.  Little by little things started to change and he didn't want to do anything wih me AT ALL!!  He found more and more reasons by the day to not be home.  One morning after he had gone out all night with the GUYS his phone was beeping like crazy and he was hung over  and nasty.  So I went to check his phone and he freaked out.  Well I found out from him it was another woman.  Just a friend he told me!!  I was over reacting and being crazy!  Se we had a hard few days!!  Our cell phone bill came and I was able to see that he was talking to this woman every day all day long.  I showed him the bill and he got mad and said he needed a break to take a drive and would be back.  I check the bill again as soon as he got in the car for the drive he was on the phone with her.  A few days later I had some issues and was rushed to the hospital.  He came to the hospital and was texting this woman the entire time I was in the hospital.  The next day the doctor had me stay home on bed rest just for the day.  My husband took off from work and went out for the day alone and it just so happened he went to the same town the woman lived in.  All hell broke loose that afternoon.  I packed my stuff and stayed with family for a few weeks.  We tryed to talk things out day by day.  In the end I got an answer from him like this: Something about this woman is intersting to me but I didn't sleep with her.  He told me they were just friends!  I wanted so bad to think he was telling me he truth but I had a sick feeling in my belly that said he was not telling me the truth.  We did decide to split and I live in our home and he has moved back in with his parents.  They think its my fault for not giving him time to figure out what he wanted out of life.  His parents life so close to my home I can see the drive way from my front door.  A few weeks ago and again a few days ago I was able to see my soon to be ex-husband with that woman at his parents house.  I would never want him back but it just made me so mad to see it.  I guess before I knew I was right but never saw for my own eyes.  I can see for my own eyes and it makes me mad.  I was nothing but a great wife and did all that I could to make him happy and I guess it was not enough.  So the result is I will be having his child and my life will be changed forever because of him.  He can just move on like our life together never happened most of the time.  He will see our daughter when he wants and the rest of the time he will be single.  I will never have that chance...  I will always be a mom and I don't regret it at all it just stinks that he makes all the moves and I am the one that has a new life.  My family tells me don't worry he will get his.  They tell me life moves on and I will find a great man who loves me and will respect me they way I should have been respected from day one.  Its just so hard to see the light!! 
Vic1030 Vic1030 21-25, F 12 Responses Aug 19, 2007

Your Response

Cancel

I was in a relationship for over 5 years with my best friend from high school. We have a four year old together. I am a few months pregnant with our second child. I recently caught him planning on meeting up with a girl from nevada to have sex. He is going with his friend in November. I am devastated. He denies it all even though he knows I seen everything. But I should of known. He had cheated on me shortly after I gave birth to our daughter. But I didn't understand now as things seemed so good. But I know now, I have to go through this pregnancy alone because this relationship has never been good for me or our daughter. I feel so hurt and lost, wondering why. There has been so many opportunities for him to split and we have broken up many times before, but he always wanted to get back together. I to this day, I don't know why. My heart is broken and I only blame myself for allowing him back in my life.

Many men find pregnant women sexy for some reason. Dont feel bad. Your a catch to many men out there.

Men sometimes have a hard time seperating life stressors and feelings. A young women can also have an effect on his basic rational thinking, you should know this being a women yourself. I dont know your relationship in depth but there could be something worth saving or you could move on. It comes down to what you want?

I have a friend going through the same thing you are. Don't worry, child support will be a nice wake up call. :)<br />
<br />
He will get his - girls that date guys who are with someone else lack a certain moral fiber. Not the type of person you really want to be with. Or she loves the drama. Drama Queen...nty.<br />
<br />
On a side note, you said you were a great wife. I was a great wife too. I support my ex-husband, helped him with school, kept a clean house, cooked, etc. He cheated on me and left me anyway. At first, I thought it was entirely him, but realized later there were things I could have done better. I'm not about to say he wouldn't have cheated on me, but there's always room for improvement. There will come a time when you analyze everything you did for the past ten years. Take your mistakes with a grain of salt and learn from them. And always, always show your man you appreciate him!

I know he seems happy but that relationship will never work because it was built on a lie. And I know it hurts but it's better late than never to find out the real jerk your with. You'll be okay and i'm sure you'll be better off without him.

Wow I feel your pain-------sort of the same thing happened to me & but I'm actually confused and don't know what to do. I haven't left him yet ----I don't want to because i did not choose this.....but if i stay i will feel that i have degrated myself

I am so so so so so sorry. My biggest fear is my husband cheating and having no remorse. He is about to leave to Iraq and I definetley worry about it. I cant imagine I am so sorry for you and I hope you can rebuild your life with someone better that deserves you.

Isn't it so funny how being the woman makes it all different, being the one who bares the child and takes care of them the majority of the time makes us more responsible to that chid. Guys can just disconnect. It's so much easier for them to forget. I could never forget about MY child whether i gave birth to it or not. Guys are soo stupid sometimes.

you will find that someone but take it from me don't rush into. And don't feel lonely cause your not alone the guy i'm with well when we spilt up i started dating someone that i thought was the guy of my dreams, he said and did all the right things but the old boyfreind was calling and telling me he had changed and wanted me back and i was torn between the two so i dated both of them and come to find out that mr.right was still married and i didn't find out until 1 month after i told him i just wanted to be with him, and when i found out i end up running back to my ex and then mr. right was still calling and telling me he wanted to be with me and that he wanted to leave his wife but i was torn and didn't know what to do. But i ended up trying it with mr. right but still to come find out he was useing my car and my cell phone to call his wife so i kicked him out and went back to the ex and then i found out i was pregant by mr. right but the ex wanted to raise the baby ours but i end up losing that baby in march and that is when things went all to hell between us and then in july i got pregant and i am now 15 weeks and i just learned the other day that my ex that i'm with is talking to the married guys wife on the phone but he says that they are just freinds and that she is just calling to make sure that me and her husband are not talking or seeing each other.

i went through a similar thing.i think you are a brave person and you have your beautiful baby to brighten up your future.good luck with everything.

While reading your story, I suddenly found it incredibly hard to breathe, I was just that angry, because something similar happened to me years ago and I thought I was over it. All I can say is that you are so lucky! I don’t mean to sound callous of your feelings but think of what could have happened. Imagine what could have happened when he lied and you believed him; believed that he loved you—after all, you two have a history together. He should be able to tell you the truth—to show you respect. But instead of that being true he was actually knee deep in an affair that he wouldn’t get out of; that his methods of deceit varied so that you could never put your finger on just what was actually happening. Then it turned out the woman he was sleeping with was also sleeping with someone else and she contracted an STD that she shared with your husband and ultimately with you. He finds out in enough time that he can inform you but doesn’t because that would mean admitting to his lies. Instead, you end up in the hospital with a miscarriage, and ultimately, with medical problems that lead to your never being able to bear another child. Then imagine you see him years later with his new wife and their child… I say again, you are so lucky—congratulations on dodging a potential bullet! I wish you and your child amazing happiness.

My family tells me the same thing. I see him happy with his mistress but when he talks to me about what he is going through, I see that every other aspect of his life is miserable. Still it sucks when i feel lonely and I know he's got someone to hold.