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Cheated On While Pregnant

hi.im 25 and when i was 4months pregnant i found out my partner of 4years was cheating on me with some one he worked with. we were over the moon when we found out we were having a baby,started making plans and reading all the baby books.like you do.then when i hit 3months my partner started acting a bit strang.going out lots till the early hours, then sleeping in the spare room when he came home.he said 'so he didnt wake me'.thought he just wanted to get all his partying out the way before the babe came along.then at 4months on a saturday night he asks if i can drop him off to meet some friends,thought nothing of it so gave him a lift.As i drove away i had a sick feeling in my stomache and something was telling me to pull over.so i did.sat at the side of the road for 5mins ,feeling really stupid and wondering what i was doing i decide to go home.As i look in my rear view mirror ready to pull away thats when my heart sank.There they were walking arm in arm.my blood was boiling,i wanted to be sick,i spun the car around and as i was haring towards them for a second i thought i wouldnt stop.but i did,{luckily for them}. he denied everything ,she just looked at me with a smug look.{the *****} that look still stays with me. anway we split up for 4months but still lived together which was hard,i started looking to buy somwhere for me and the babe,but not easy when your pregnant and you ve been cheated on.but at xmas 2006 we decided to give it another go,its hard to forget but i'm trying to move on.baby is 9months old now and we are living in my house together.we are taking it slow but hopefully the future holds goods things for us.i still have moments when i laps back in to a bit of depression, when i feel down and we ve had a few words. i still feel abit paranoid but hopefully time will make it better. any one got words of advise on how to move forward? 
ldm ldm 26-30, F 58 Responses Aug 29, 2007

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So glad i found this..
I found out my partner was talking to someone through msgs when i was 5months pregnant.. An "old" friend that look like a supermodel "such a great feeling when im fricken 10kgs heavier! Back to the storie my partner has cheated in the past..i forgave him.. I never did confront him about the msgs i found on his fb with him and this friend talking about how they got it on and how she even mock him and called me wifey..i tried to put it all behind me..but everyday it eats at me slowly its been nearly 6monfhs simce i saw that i cry nearly everyday im smoking again and feeling more depressed im stuck..my heart is full of resentment and pain.
Hope u get through it.

I feel your pain, hopefully all ends well. I'm also in a situation right now where Im 15 weeks pregnant and out of the blue my partner of 8 years accused me of planning the pregnancy alone without telling him, I was shocked because I honestly did not as I am just starting a new career and this pregnancy scared me at first because I already planned on what I'm going to do for the year but it was a surprise when found out that I'm pregnant. The day I found out I couldn't locate my partner and he is not returning my calls for 2 days..and I guess that should be a red flag for me. I send him msgs and emails about the pregnancy but he never acknowledged it. Anyway I am flatting in town while working and goes home to our place on my off days, to cut the story short I swallowed my pride went home to talk to him and I thought all is ok. He went overseas for 5 wks on his home country and never called me to say how is the pregnancy. He came back and I picked him up from the airport which is 3 hrs drive away from our place and it seems everything is fine but the following morning I found a receipt in his wallet itemising a dowry amount that he paid for another girl while in his country. It broke my heart and I confronted him about it but he just threw everything back at me saying I am the one fighting with him and he doesn't want to be in a fighting relationship anymore. I asked him to clarify what he wants but he never did. That's when he accused me of planning the pregnancy alone... so I said if that's your way of ending the relationship then I'm going. got my bag with just my uniform for work and left. I cried the whole day and still crying while writing this. I know its hard as this will be my first baby but I guess being a single mom would be healthier in the end. I felt so betrayed, all those wasted years and he also got his residency via me. I hope people like him will one day repent for wrongdoings they did....All I can do now is pray for my baby to be healthy and strong.

Hi everyone, I am so happy to have found this page. I have been feeling so alone and lost. I am 18 weeks preg, and just last month before Christmas my ex and I got into a fight, I told him to leave so he did. Well I found out that same night he ran to another females house. His "friend" also known as the group H*e... Swore nothing happened, but I couldn't quit understand why he lied about it if "nothing" happened... Well needless to say our relationship wasn't too great before then, and it only got worse. He knew I had trust issues to begin with then did this.

Well I gave him another chance, he moved back in a week later. It's only been month since that.. Well he was acting weird with his phone, so I figured something was up and went into shutdown mode because that's what I do best. He didn't and hasn't made things better not working the last few months, while I get up and go in everyday.. I have 2 children from a previous relationship, and he has one, and I feel like I do more with his child then he dose... So long story shorter;
He doesn't work (did at one time), he has become super lazy, and very selfish, so I told him this wasn't working he wasn't the man I fell in love with a year ago. I wasn't telling him to leave or even trying to argue with him. I was simply saying things needed to change, well he blew up, and went off on me say I don't show him love anymore, I don't kiss him anymore. So I left to the store with kids, I come back and he demands I sign over my extra car to him so he can leave me be.. I said no that isn't how this is going to work. So we went back upstairs, and we began to argue about nothing!! Then the name calling started, and I am almost 30... I will not put up with that, so then i told him to leave, he asked why I even let him back to begin with, I simply said I felt sorry for him. Then he said it's obviously not the sex.. I said nope sure isn't or the money you bring into the house. He said I was a *****, and that was it... The line was crossed... I told him ok, I am not on highschool, and since I am a ***** the baby isn't your then (it is his) I just wanted to hurt him like he was hurting me. So he began to leave and I chased after him because he had my key, house and car, well we got outside and I thought he was going to hand it to me be he threw them, and I was standing on ice, and the way he jumped to throw them I thought he was going to hit me, and I slipped and fell on the ice 4 months preg with his baby and all he does is laugh and call me a dumb b**ch as he walks away. Well I get a call not even 2 days later from a friend of ours telling me they seen him with his ex the night before... so not even 72 hours after you leave my house you are back with your ex but you loved me... I guess I am confused if I should be mad, sad, or just not care. I talked to his son's mother (not the ex he is back with) and she said he has a very bad temper, he isn't supportive of his son, and has spent more time with his son in the last year we've been together then he has the whole 8 years of his life. So I guess my thing here is, I feel the pain of all you others out there and I never in a million years thought this guy would do such a thing to me, or our children (his and mine) we were a family. But now I have decided to cut all ties with him and his family (who support his decision to be a deadbeat cheater) and raise this child on my own. I have done it with the two I already have, because their dad didn't want anything to do with them unless he could have me, and I couldn't continue to be in an aggressive relationship. The two children I already have see a someone to help them through their trust and abandonment issues because they were old enough to know their father when I left him. This baby has a chance not to be put through that. So I guess I came to vent, and share my story... My best friend says he will be back in a couple months, which scares me because I do love him more then I have ever loved anyone, but he surely doesn't love me... I don't think he would have done the things he did to me, or would be doing the things he's doing if he did.... Thank you all :)

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Hi I'm 28years old and been with my bf for nearly 5years he hast been the best partner at all the relationship started on the wrong note (abuse)... I'm 30weeks pregnant with his 2nd child.. He's been cheating on me for nearly a year and he confessed and swore he would never talk to her again but he continues to call her and the other day I over heard him saying he loved her during a convo on the phone... My whole pregnancy he has be uncaring or unhelpful talks to me like utter rubbish this woman is 9years younger then me and he's 44..... It breaks my heart to no he's living to me after how long we have been together and what he's put me through over the years and I forgiven him tells me that I talk to much and I'm silly and he loves me to the moon and back and manipulates me to sleep with him I really hate him with a passion and he just won't leave he clearly doesn't care or respect me at all..I've cried soooo much and expressed my feelings to him and I get no where I feel like I'm falling into depression.

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Hi my name is Catherine and I'm 34 yes,me and my husband have a daughter of 11 yrs and after a miss carriage I'm pregnant again,now I'm 35 weeks,from the first moment I was knowing I'm pregnant I was suspecting on my husband so input a spy can in his car and I caught him talking with his friend about woman's that he was ceating ,its not easy especially if he says that I'm crazy and I'm imagine things,I heard the voice with my friends to an sure I was write ,then I smashed the SD card I didont want to hear any more cause it hurts really badly,all the 35 weeks crying and sometimes wish that I will die or cut my wrist I tried and he still keeping saying that its not true and I'm crazy ,I start eating a lot with anger and heart broken ,I feel so fat and that I'm nothing just a crazy woman crying all night,but yesterday I was going gustvforca little rode in my car to feel little better and the battery was dye and I decided to go for a little walk I was crying and sad I talked with god and prayed him for helping me days I can't do it any more the pain is so big,I love my daughter and my baby very much I must live for them there was a church but the door was closed,I talked with God from outside and prayed for help ,I know that's not easy but I will try to fight this from yesterday I began a healthy diet when I feel sad I try to do something like walking or talk to my baby or hugging my daughter ,no matter what I want to live I know now that the problem wasent me I'm not crazy I'm gust hurt and oviusley and normal depressed,but the bad guy is my husband he's the one that hurt me hes the one with a cold heart so he's the crazy one and busterd he will burn in hell one day I'm sure,I'm still living with him in the same house trying to forget and love him ,my heart still have a big placed for him he's my babies dad ,in the same time my 15 years dog is so old now and he's dying slowly I love him so much he s my friend which I use to tell all my secrets and cry and he understand me and hugs me every time I will cry so pls l told you a little bit of my story ,I want you to be strong like I'm trying to do one day I will shine again and so you ,good luck xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I'm 7mths pregnant and just 3days ago found out my bf my 1st love had been n maybe still is cheating on me, I happen to find the memory card to the camera in the car that had photos of him n this chick the most Fkd up thing is when he got back from being away for 5weeks leaving me pregnant at 6mths, he had told me one of his friends took the memory card out (it got stolen) so when I came a crossed it my heart dropped I knew it had something on it but it didn't stop me I needed to know.

I love this man with all my heart and would do anything for him!.

(Back to it) on the card had photos of him kissing her etc,
I just wanted to drop n die, so I walked in to our room pop open the laptop n showed him the pictures he just looked n said sorry it was a mistake. I was so mad I repacked his bags n told him 2 leave n go be a free man but he wouldn't, few hours later he makes me feel like I'm the one to blame, so I give in like I always do n try forget anything has happen but I can't this time its just so hard all I do is get upset n free depressed I don't know what to do.

I'm currently pregent not far along luckily and found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me with many women sleeping at there house and just horrible things. It's so hard and I feel so stupid to have trusted him
After he's cheated before . I thought having a baby would make him grow up and man up raise a family he was more happy about me being pregent then me. I just feel so low and played.

All this talk of men destroying your lives,
I have to say don't let them. Sometimes we lose people to realize we are better off without them. I'm no professional, but I have been jerked around in the worst sort of way.
I lost my father in 2007, and two years later met the most wonderful man, he took all that sorrow away, and made me feel alive again. He was sweet, engaging, considerate, but all of that was a veil. I got pregnant suddenly in 2011, and he blamed me for getting pregnant, lol, he did not handle the news well. Things were rough between us; he was in no way shape or form there for me while I was sick from the pregnancy, and dealing with it. I came to find out three weeks after I gave birth that was because he was involved with a married swinger; he had had sex with her when I was five months pregnant. Her husband took pictures of them in the act as some sick sex trophy. She was most proud of her role in this. I get the same kind of anger towards her that some of you all discuss, the sickening mood altering anger, and she avoids me, rightfully so.
He lied of course to protect himself, saying it was really to keep me from getting hurt :) Sure Casanova. He lied saying they were from his best friend...lol; I had met the kind of man who would do anything to save his own skin, who is so selfish that he would destroy relationships and friendships for one cheap thrill. This man I had thought was kind, sweet, engaging, and right for me, turned into my worst nightmare. Here I am with a newborn, and recovering from childbirth to find out that this man whom I loved so deeply betrayed me in the worst way imaginable.
I have to say ladies, it was hard, but I did not leave him. I wanted to, every day, but I had more than myself to think of now. He has changed, but I am not as blind or naive as I once was. All of this tragedy has made ME a stronger person and a better mother. I have a son, and I have a chance to raise him better than his father. I came to realize that this was his problem, not mine, and he was 100 percent responsible for HIS bad behavior. To his credit he has grown up by about 200 percent, and our trust is coming back, little by little. He takes care of his son, and is a wonderful father. IT's a personal choice whether or not to leave, if you think you can tolerate it, it does not make you weak. I knew that would be best for my family. It is the worst sort of betrayal imaginable, but there is recovery and healing, and strength to be found from the pain. Don't lose heart!
To quote one of my favorite songs, "if our hearts are never broken, there is no joy in the mending". I am no professional, but I'm not going to let a selfish man ruin my life!

Tanks for giving such strong worlds ,I feel little better the they are the problem and busterd so we have to fight this

All this talk of men destroying your lives,
I have to say don't let them. Sometimes we lose people to realize we are better off without them. I'm no professional, but I have been jerked around in the worst sort of way.
I lost my father in 2007, and two years later met the most wonderful man, he took all that sorrow away, and made me feel alive again. He was sweet, engaging, considerate, but all of that was a veil. I got pregnant suddenly in 2011, and he blamed me for getting pregnant, lol, he did not handle the news well. Things were rough between us; he was in no way shape or form there for me while I was sick from the pregnancy, and dealing with it. I came to find out three weeks after I gave birth that was because he was involved with a married swinger; he had had sex with her when I was five months pregnant. Her husband took pictures of them in the act as some sick sex trophy. She was most proud of her role in this. I get the same kind of anger towards her that some of you all discuss, the sickening mood altering anger, and she avoids me, rightfully so.
He lied of course to protect himself, saying it was really to keep me from getting hurt :) Sure Casanova. He lied saying they were from his best friend...lol; I had met the kind of man who would do anything to save his own skin, who is so selfish that he would destroy relationships and friendships for one cheap thrill. This man I had thought was kind, sweet, engaging, and right for me, turned into my worst nightmare. Here I am with a newborn, and recovering from childbirth to find out that this man whom I loved so deeply betrayed me in the worst way imaginable.
I have to say ladies, it was hard, but I did not leave him. I wanted to, every day, but I had more than myself to think of now. He has changed, but I am not as blind or naive as I once was. All of this tragedy has made ME a stronger person and a better mother. I have a son, and I have a chance to raise him better than his father. I came to realize that this was his problem, not mine, and he was 100 percent responsible for HIS bad behavior. To his credit he has grown up by about 200 percent, and our trust is coming back, little by little. He takes care of his son, and is a wonderful father. IT's a personal choice whether or not to leave, if you think you can tolerate it, it does not make you weak. I knew that would be best for my family. It is the worst sort of betrayal imaginable, but there is recovery and healing, and strength to be found from the pain. Don't lose heart!
To quote one of my favorite songs, "if our hearts are never broken, there is no joy in the mending". I am no professional, but I'm not going to let a selfish man ruin my life!

I mean no disrespect to you ladies but what your men did to you is the lowest form of betrayal. They discarded you at the times when you needed them most. Those of you that got back together, good luck. Those of you that moved on, congratulations on your self respect. If you want to be respected, you have to respect yourself first. And with nearly no exceptions, once a cheater, always a cheater. For those that wonder, I am a male.

He cheated on me while I'm pregnant and I know that so many times ,I heard him on spy cam talking and say about girls that he f----- ,I cried a lot also wished my shelf to die,but now I'm 35 weeks pregnant ,passed all my pregnancy crying ,his always saying that I'm the bad one and blame me for everything,he does nothing to blame with only for how how muched I loved him,that's the tanks,I m trying to stand up again on my 2 legs and do every thing to caught him I must revenge on him and then I will show him how strong I can be

I know exactly how you feel. I was cheated on by the "love of my life" 8 yrs ago when I was pregnant with our 1st child. He worked nights and because he was the boss he didnt have to stay he could come and go all night as he pleased. I knew something was going on when he stopped coming home for dinner said he was stuck at work. .and he wouldnt take my phone calls and coming home way after work ended...one morning I woke up at 7am to find he never came home the night before. I went out to his work his pickup was gone. I think he fell asleep at the ****** house. A couple months later a couple who were good friends of ours came over and told me they were at a party and this ***** was bragging about how she was sleeping with this guy (live in very small town. They had overheard this dumb ***** say his name and talk about him and her little rendezvous they had while he was supposed to be working like she was bragging about it! Unbeknownst to this ***** she didn't know there was people there that heard her and knew us. I was beyond devestated and very pregnant and felt very vulnerable. How could he do this to me? Why did he do this? What was wrong with me. I confronted him and he denied everything right to my face. .he even had this girls friend call me to say they were not sleeping together. Ya right. I remember a few months before this I had found a girls black sweater coat in his new pickup and it smelled of perfume I confronted him with the sweater in my hand and he had the nerve to tell me it was my sweater! I think I know my own damn clothes. Looking back now I was so damn naive. I thought about leaving him I stayed though stupidly and I wish to god I would have left. I think about it to this day. Its been 8 yrs I dont trust him and never will again I look at him in resentment every single day and I wonder why he did it? Not to sound vein but the girl he cheated on me with is a very homely average girl. Trust me speaking from experience if your man cheats leave him dont stay and regret it. Your trust is gone and with each passing year u will resent him more. Dont get me wrong we went on to have more beautiful kids and have remained very close we have an awesome sex life and I love him still to this day. But the resentment has never went away and the trust has never came back I often think I would have been happier if I would have left him. No women deserves to be cheated on. Every time I see the ***** I have to refrain myself from kicking her *** and then I start to shake and it affects my mood the rest of the day. Then I go home and take it out on him and he doesn't even know what im upset about. We dont speak about it at all. He still to this day denies everything. )

I'm now 6 months pregnant with our 2nd son and found out yesterday my husband cheated on me with another man, I'm disgusted, devastated, angry, sad the list goes on I don't know what to do. He swears its was one time, he was curious thought he might like guys but now he says it was the devil. I never thought he would ever cheat on me now I think all men are cheaters it makes me want to get revenge. Throw away my faithfulness. I don't know what to think or believe. He says he wants help wants to start going to church?

My boyfriend was cheating on me with a married man who's wife was having her second child, I've confronted the husband and made sure that if it ever happens again that I would make sure his wife would find out. I have the dilemma of telling her because she doesn't know and that doesn't sit right with me. Do I tell her or do I let her husband confess? Would you have liked to have known or been happier not knowing?

You need to tell her because he is probably sleeping with other men not just your bf. If he gives her an STD this could harm her child (ex blindness). I would want to know. You never know if he has done this before and this is all she needs to know to leave for good.

My husband and I have been together for 10 yrs. we have four beautiful children. And I am now 6 months pregnant with our 5th. I just found out two weeks ago he is cheating. Not only is he cheatibg but they claim to love each other!!!! I feel like dying everyday I wake up. He is acting like a completely different person. He won't spend anytime with the kids and acts like I dont exist. The problem is that he will not move out but spends lots of nights out with her. When he is here he spends most of his time out in the car on the phone, or takes the dog for lots of walks. I can not begin to express how much all of this hurts and how much I love him. Watching him come in and out of our house breaks my heart each and everytime. He just recently lost his brother who was also his very best friend and I really think when his brother got sick he felt lost and the timing matches up completely perfect. I don't want to lose him, he is my very thing but I think it's over and I am having the hardest time letting go. I'm lost an confused. I never seen it coming and now he is so far gone. I do everything for him and our children. Oh and our 3 yr old has been fighting leukemia for nearly 2 yrs now and every but of that has always been handled by me! Ugh I need help!

Thank you for sharing your story. My husband and I were married 10.5 years before we decided to have children. We've now been married 13 years and have our 2nd child who will turn one in two weeks. I recently found out that he has had 4 long standing affairs over the past year, starting just before I was due to have our 2nd child. He has been cheating on me for the past year, and I am completely heart-broken. I've supported him through career changes while giving up my own dreams of going to law school and now only have a limited term job for a 3 year contract. I love my life and have worked so hard for all that we have, at times holding 3 jobs at a time. I don't want to lose everything I've worked for, but I hate him so much. I desperately want to never have to explain any of this to my two beautiful and innocent boys. They don't deserve to ever have to feel any pain from all that he has put me through. He insists he was lost and deeply regretful, but I don't know how to heal. I deserve so much more.

I am six months pregnant and just found out my husband cheated on me three months ago. He slept with his friends wife. He blamed it on being drunk . Not only did it happen once but three times. He wants to stay with me cause he doesnt want to leave his unborn son. I dont think i can do it. I hate him now for what he has done. Makes me so sick to think what he has done.

Hi everyone, I'm so glad that I used this site to write my story ,one to find so many of us in the same boat ( which is pretty sad and hard to take really) and secondly that my story has helped some people as well, everyone's stories are so similar to mine but also different aswell.

I thought I would just update this as at the end of my story I said we were gonna give it another go! Well 6 years on and we are still together! We have 3children now and are engaged to be married! We are happy and have worked through things, which was very hard at the time but as time has gone on its a very distant memory!!! Very much in the past!!

I know some people may think "how stupid to give him another chance" but it's what I needed to do and if I hadn't then there would have always been that "what if" but I was all prepared for it to go the other way too.

I know some of ur situations are very different but I'm a story of someone who has gone through heartache but managed to come out the other side, a much stronger person ! I hope it shows that there can be happiness at the end of a ' mistake' 'infidelity ' and I hope it helps some of u realise that it doesn't just mean the end!

I hope all of u are doing soooooo well with ur children whether u are with the partners or not and that this site has given us comfort and hope and a shoulder to cry on!

Take care everyone xx

Thank you very much! I going through this now and the stress and depression (eating and drinking poorly) actually caused me to go into labor and be hospitalized since I am not due for another 7 weeks. I love this person with all my heart but am contemplating if it is worth my health and the health of my child.

You shouldn't be with someone who cheated on you. If he cared then he wouldn't have pulled that stunt on you. Show that you got self worth and move on without him because next time he will do things different so that you won't catch him next time and who knows he might give you an STD. Why bother try to give it another go if he never loved you in the first place? A true man would have been by your side instead of going out with another woman behind your back

I am sorry to here what you went thru..........i was pregnant with m first child an i found out my bf had another gf while we were together the other girl kept sending me threathing messages an stuff i kept asking him about it an he wld get angry at me for not believing him....one day i decided to go through his messages an there he was tellin the same girl he loves her night after night............there were alot of pictures of them in his phone of them kisssing an so on i was real hurt i decided to pack my things an leave he kept callin me but i wldnt answer one day i decide to give him a chance an we bout sat dwn an tlk about it an we decided to work things out now were living together in my house an having another baby an were engaged :)

How do you get over that and not replay it in your head. And how do you trust again.

i know the feeling.. my wife and i were togeather for 4 years, but not even married a year.. to me everything was great the whole time... i trusted her completly..i never thought she would cheat on me in a miollion years... everything was great even up to the last time i seen her...
she was going back to her hometown a lot seeing her parents, she started hanging out with an old guy friend, she ended up getting drunk and spending the night with him.. when i found out i told her to come get her stuff, we were done.. i will tell ya, it hit me like a ton of bricks .i didn't have a clue...

I felt really sorry while reading your story....and sorry to kno that so many other woman had to feel the way I felt while I was preg during there pregnancies and go through what I went through...wouldnt wish that on anyone and to see how many other woman have been emotionally dragged through the dirt (especially while preg) makes me sad and frankly, ****** me off.<br />
Shortened version of my story:<br />
I was living with my BD throughout my pregnancy. As I got bigger, our relationship grew worse. He was never considerate of me being pregnant. I was sensitive and moody and I had concerns about our baby and our relationship that I tried to share with him but he didnt want to understand so he just interpreted me as being a naggy *****. He had roomates and I indeed had to deal with the late nights and the partying and the loose girls around the house (college kids). At one point I was ashamed to even be preg because no one understood and I was surrounded by ppl that I couldnt relate to in dealing with my pregnancy including my own BD.....I was absolutely miserable. The arguing matches were more and more often and I thought space would be good for us so I moved out. Although we were still together, there was a girl the hung around the house with him and his roomates that I was skeptical of and he told me that I was ridiculous because he wasnt into her. He broke things off with me when I was 6 months preg and it was one of the most devastating moments of my life. Not because I was hurt, but because I had already suspected he was cheating before that and I didnt want to end things with him because of our unborn baby and our family to be.....then he ended it. I felt robbed....I felt dumb for thinking that we could work things out...for caring<br />
<br />
I had to find out from his friends that he had a thing going on with that very same girl he told me not to worry about. It was then when I realized what had been going on right under my nose.<br />
<br />
Soo.....I had to spend the remainder of my pregnancy alone....knowing that he was opening up to some other chick while I was lugging his kid around in my stomach. I was sick with depression and anger. The resentment I feel for him is deep and dangerous and I hope at some point it goes away so I can be a happy person again. Im not sure when (if ever) will I find forgiveness for him and for me for letting him do that to me. My baby is now 5 months and well and I am very grateful for that, but I am still in the process of healing myself and it gets very difficult. "one day at a time" is the motto. I can pretty much count on my hands how many times my BD has seen his kid and he gives me zero help with him......oh and he's still with the girl too. <br />
<br />
To ldm: If your still even reading at this point my advise to you is use your better judgement. Dont let your love for him make you compromise who you are as a person. If you feel that your partner is a changed man now...that is a good thing, but that shouldnt be somthing that you have to convince yourself as being true. You should know without a doubt. If you think you deserve better, confront those feelings NOW before you invest anymore time and energy.....ending a bad relationship with some one you love is hard but going through that is more than worth how you would feel if he hurts you again.<br />
Goodluck, I hope this helps alittle

I just realized that ldm posted this story in 2007, Ha! Well......good advice is good advice anyway. I hoped what I said helped anyone else whos in a similar situation

You certainly helped me. I am going through this now and need all the support and advice I can get!

I am 18 weeks pregnant and in the last 5 hours just caught my (now ex) with another person! How the heck do we move on from this

When I was 4 months pregnant my boyfriend was scared so he started partying well I thought that was all but I recently found out (2 1/2 years later) that he cheated on me while I was pregnant he tried denying it when I heard about it a little over 6 months ago but I found out who the girl was and decided to ask her myself she told me the truth and then my boyfriend had no choice but to tell me the truth its just so hard to k ow what I should do how to move past this were engaged, supposed to be married next year idk if I should call off the wedding or should I leave him I'm just so confused it was almost 3 years ago and he's a different person and I know he's sorry I just don't know if I can get through this

When I was 19 weeks pregnant I found out that the father of my son has been cheating on me since we started dating (which is five months but we knew eachother for a year prior to us dating). This has been so upsetting knowing that while I cried at night he was holding some other women that was not carrying his child. The worst part was he acted like everything was okay between us. He would call me daily, text me all the time and even hung out with my family and I. How can someone live a double life like that? I will never understand his way of thinking...I am now so worried about my son because my whole pregnancy I have been depressed and I have cried often. I hope that my son will come out healthy. I will not be able to forgive his father for a long time.

Hi Bestrong22, your comment touched me...its very similar to what happened to me.I was miserable most of my pregnancy cuz all my BD wanted to do wus hang with friends and party. After a while I wus very skeptical that my BD wus cheating on me with a particular chick that hung around the house with him and his roomates. And it wasnt until after we broke up in my 6th month that I knew what wus going on rite under my nose. I couldnt even sleep without a crying spell most nights. Anyway, I felt the exact same way u did while I wus preg and had the same concerns about my unborn boy. My baby was born April 6th 2012 and was perfectly healthy and still is today at alomost 5 months old. So from personal experience I gotta tell u that ur baby will be too. As much as it hurts, dont worry yourself because you and your baby will be just fine. Try to surround yourself with ppl that make you happy because that is what you deserve rite now. Hope this helps alittle.

lol. I am stupider. Both of us r students in university. So, here goes the story. <br />
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We were going out for almost one year already. then on my 2nd year. I got pregnant. On summer break, both of us went back to our own family. No one knew about me getting pregnant. So we come into conclusion that we are going to abort the baby. 4 months preg, he said he still love me. He texted me and call me everyday during the holiday. I never had a chance to meet him cuz our place were so far. its 3 hours travel using car. Each day pass, his attitude began to change, I can sense it(instinct) by reading his text and interval time his calling me. And i got this uncomfortable chilly feeling everytime he angry with me.. although i know i did not do any wrong. The whole 2 months summer break. I made up my mind to break up with him after i do abortion. and never to think him again in future.<br />
so, I asked him if he have another girlfriend. and I knw these past few months a girl keep pushing him to accept her feeling. she was his classmate during middle school until high school. I ask him if she is the girl. He just keep quite. Then I knew that I was correct. Then I didnt say anything to him afterward. I just wanted to abort the baby, solve the problem and walk away from his life for good. I dont need a guy who cheat on me even when he know i love him so much and I got pregnant for him.<br />
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then again. Life sure like to toy me around. I end up keeping the baby in my tummy. I feel this close connection. every kick the baby give to me, it was somehow reassuring and making me calm. knowing that i'm not alone this whole time.<br />
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Me and my boyfriend didn't break up. but again.. he can't break up with the girl. because the girl is threatened him if he ever break up with her, she will commit a suicide. And that makes me feel pity for her. and she didnt know about my existence as his girlfriend for sure. the only thing she know both of us are close friend. and I hate it when tht girl trying to get close to me from facebook and say good thing. i feel like she is a hypocrite sometimes because the way she text me in facebook. it was soft but sarcastic in the same time. but she still keeping her innocent aura everytime we chat. AND I HATE IT! i dont want to talk to her, but I dont want her to get suspicious(and yeah, y I AM the one who need to hide???)<br />
I safely give birth to a baby girl at foreign place, without anyone, without my family. because they still dont knw about it. each day my boyfriend getting attached with our baby. and he love her so much. his other girlfriend still didnt know about our situation. but she keep telling him she is jealous of me, always near with him. Its still pain me a lot when the girl post at facebook like she is the victim and I am a *****. I saw them webcam, but i keep tolerating with him. the girl call him, i just act like nothing. its like, its a daily routine for me to hear that girl voice. After so long, i became immune. but slowly i realize, my love toward him getting dull by time.. we are still together now. and he is still with the girl. everyone in university knew about us. but anyway... she still dont know about us. <br />
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ps:i didnt get marry with the guy. but i still love him. afterall he is still the father of my baby. I just have to keep my patience long, and keep enjoying my love that left for him. so yeah. I register the baby under my name-under status single mother. *sigh* afterward, my family know about me and the guy. and didn't want us to get married. lol. what a life. long. sorry.. i just... want to let out all my feeling..its been hard for me to suppress my feeling for 2 years..compromise such relationship where im the one who have to hide it. as if im the one who done wrong... he was wrong and im covering it for him. Im a dumb girl who is so dumb to fall in love with a dumb guy.. wht can i say. Love make people blind. It makes people become an idiot and slowly kill us like a poison.

girl!! wow!! i think this guys is a two timer!! playing both of u!!
how old are u??
No love is NOT blind that just the excuse "we" used to let things happend... i would understand that he cheated and u forgive him thats acceptable but him having being with u and at the same time with the other girl! NO! You need to ask God to pull u thru and only Him will help you! this is not a safe enviroment for ur baby! ... sorry i truly wish u nothing but GOOD LUCK!

sometime last year my husband started hidig his phone from me and deleting his messages. that was after i had a misacarriage. he started going out on weekends not coming home til past midnight & will only say he was with friends. it went on for almost 2 months and hen things went back to normal. last month we found out im pregnant so we were pretty excited & at the same time extra careful coz we cant loose any more baby. weeks ago, he started acting strange again, not coming home straight from work & sometimes he doesnt come home at all until morning. i was paranoid about it so i asked help from my family coz i know something is really wrong. if i try to confront him, he wouldnt give me a direct answer. crazy but i even check his underwears & find white stains on them all the time. <br />
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one night my cousin decided to spy on him from work. he was being followed on his motorcycle from work, went to a narrow alley to pick up his girl & checked in to a motel. my cousin called me, we had authorities with us and we tried to get a good caught in the act scene but unfortunely, motel people barred us from coming in. i was really getting depressed right now. he still comes home to me thugh but we dont talk anymore. i didnt confront him about the incident but he already knew that i am totally aware now. it could be ou of guilt that he doesnt talk to me directly because i am still being nice to him despite my knowledge of his affair. the pain is like killing me. he told me he still wants me and the baby, thats all. he never mentioned about leaving the girl or break up with her. very frustrating.

totally depressing isnt it? Guys are sometimes too greedy..

Im so sad while reading all of those cheating stories. It made me realize that I have to be stronger for my unborn child. He cheated on me right now in my 5mos pregnancy. And told me I was still his love one. But I dont think so. I want to break up with him but he never allow me. He was too selfish that didnt care about my hurting feelings. I still want to think that we can work this out together. Oh forgot to say that He had a chance to meet other woman because He works far from me. I cry almost everyday when I found out when he had his 1wk vacation to visit me. I read all those txt msgs. He told me that nothing had happen to them. But I dont know what to believe. My baby still my inspiration when her father leaves us. Ill just accept the fact. Aleast we arent married yet. It will be more difficult if we are already married then. :-) goodluck mommies. I just want all of us to move on. Literally.

Im so sad while reading all of those cheating stories. It made me realize that I have to be stronger for my unborn child. He cheated on me right now in my 5mos pregnancy. And told me I was still his love one. But I dont think so. I want to break up with him but he never allow me. He was too selfish that didnt care about my hurting feelings. I still want to think that we can work this out together. Oh forgot to say that He had a chance to meet other woman because He works far from me. I cry almost everyday when I found out when he had his 1wk vacation to visit me. I read all those txt msgs. He told me that nothing had happen to them. But I dont know what to believe. My baby still my inspiration when her father leaves us. Ill just accept the fact. Aleast we arent married yet. It will be more difficult if we are already married then. :-) goodluck mommies. I just want all of us to move on. Literally.

I was 7 months pregnant when I dicovered my husband cheated on me with a married woman from the same social club, every one around me knew what was going on and I knew nothing,this was dealt with by the leaders of the group who wanted the whole drama to end, apparently my husband wanted the affair to end but this woman was not in the mission to end the affair but to let it go on under ground, my husband told her that she wanted to confess and admitt to the whole thing but she told him that she wil deny everything, cos if she admitted her husband wil divorce her and she wil be without marriage. Huby admmited to his wrong and we are stil together and stil belong to the same club,the fact is though I have forgiven him, I stil hurt when I think of what he did to me, some times I would wake up at night look at him sleeping peacefully without any worry as is what he did was norma. Yes my husband apologised crying and kneeling down but I feel he has not appologised the way I wanted him to, seeing the other woman at the club makes wanna beat the hell out of her... At some stage I gave her a nusty look and felt good after that...I walk and look as if nothing is wrong all is we'll huby and I are stil fine... He is happy and sees that am ok and that I have forgiven and forgotten like al men think is easy for a woman to move on after she's been ceated upon, we can forgive but bot forget. It is hard to be cheated up on getting even by cheating as we'll won't help instead I choose to be failful and not be unfaithful. God wil see me through this.

what happens to these men and these children of these men? are they allowed to just keep creating life and destroying lives? do we need moral jails/rehabs? this is the sickest glimpse into a world i have ever seen. it's like that lady who said 'yeah, you think it only happens in movies or to losers until it happens to you." I aborted the baby i was having with my husband... there was just too much chaos and hate to bring a child into at the time.. . then we of course made up - he's had a terrible childhood yadda yadd... and find out that he was cheating with his babymama ... almost like he was saying it's just 'fun and games that they do ... didn't know it could hurt someone.' and i'm like, "you're really going to say this to me?" he just admitted it all to me last night. i had been lovingly let him go see his prescious child thinking how odd it was that he sometimes really jonesed for his kid and sometimes didn't. turns out... yup. he was jonesing for the smug hootch of that woman who apparently LOVES to just have down and dirty sex. i guess that's different than me who i guess requires a mantra to the seventeen benedictions of boring to even begin to look at sexually. i'm forty and it's actually the first time i've ever been cheated on. our child would have been born last month. i think about what a failure i am to her even now. even now clinging to bringing her back and having a loving life with her father... <br />
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but what's to be done? exorcisms? teaching about relationships as a mandatory class in pre-school? sticking by these people until they break thru? having a 'jail' where offenders have to go into intensive therapy? or is it just "oh wells, another destructive human being destroying human beings"... what is it like to want to emotionally murder someone? to want to be so in control that you get to have two women in your stable at all times - one madonna and one *****. .. to never want to feel real love to love yourself... that's the irony of the whole kid thing... they love those adoring products of themselves... because it's trust. weird. <br />
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my apologies. i really really really really really hope that you are strong enough to show your child what fierce self-love is.... dunno. ranting..

To men are weak...all I can say is I wish or can't wait to have my baby girl. I don't think I will ever forget what he has done all I see is the other woman as well. I felt betrayed and still do that he would do this to me now while pregnant when I feel I should be happiest, I should feel more support from him, he should cherish me and make me feel even for more special...instead he cheated and made this pregnancy so hard on me. You found out after you had your baby and I have to say better that way especially now because with a clear none hormonal mind you can make the decision that is best for you. Wishing you the best.

i am 30, my partner and i where delighted when i found out i was pregnant. we have been together 4 1/2 years. he went to work abroad for 3 months in this time, to earn extra cash for a bigger house. in that time i was so hormonal, i would call him and he d be in a pub after work, or sometimes he would nt pick up, this sent me completley mad. panick attacks, anxiety. i just could nt cope. so after 6 weeks of it i told him to get lost and through my phone in the river so he could not contact me. i was so sure he d come home to me. but he did nt. 6 weeks later when the 3 months was up, he came home. there was a row and all was forgiven. a month later we had a beautiful girl. he was a great father. then when our daughter was 6 weeks old he went abroad for work again, and i joined him after 8 weeks for a holiday. i found out he had cheated on me while i was pregnant, he had taken this girl out on several occasions and slept with her.at the point when i was at the lowest i have ever felt. it was in the 6 weeks when i had not spoken to him. they have nt had any contact since. i can not get over it. does he deserve another chance? can you actualy move on? all i see is her.

I met my boyfriend a year after his wife's death. He was so in love with her and still even had his step kids living with him (they are adults 23,20,18) and still does. His love for them and his wife made it very easy to fall for him. We have been together a year and a half and we have been very happy with one huge exception he refused to be public about our relationship when it came to his deceased wife's family. I am already a single mother of 4 and never really thought about having another child but he only had 1 son (15) who lived in another country and really wanted to have a family. I felt very loved so I gave in. The truth is I love him and having his baby just seamed perfect. His Mom had died a few months prior to his wife and I knew there had just been so much saddness in life, so I wanted to bring a little happiness into his life. At the time of course I thought he would come out right away about us once. My mistake then I was pregnant but he still didn't come out about us he kept hiding me and my kids. Then 2 weeks ago I found out that he was cheating on me ...Im so heart broken. I am now 20 weeks along he says he never slept with her but I know its not true I read the emails. I only found out because she was on his Facebook as having a relationship with and even more sickening is how he didn't hide her but he did hide me from his deceased wires family. I changed his whole profile put pics of us up and shared the pregnancy now everyone knows about me and our planned pregnancy . His deceased wife's family is fine with me but hurt that he lied to them all this time. He is trying to fix things with me but I just don't trust him anymore. Im glad that his deceased wife's family is willing to welcome me but under the circumstances I don't want to meet them anymore. As for the other women because they met while he was out of the country supposedly it was not serious but they slept with each other and he continued to speak with her and flirt with her even after I got pregnant. He has made this and his deceased wires family has made this all about them not knowing about me but in reality what hurts on top of that is the cheating. Im trying to forgive but it hard I relive that moment when I saw his Facebook page, the pic of the other women , I remember the details of their emails, and it makes me hurt so much. Now he wants me to meet his deceased wife's family and I am just not ready. Im embarrassed that he cheated on me so publicly. He wants everything to go back like before he thinks our problems are solved because now he doesn't have to hide me. The true problem is not that anymore its that he cheated on me when I needed him most and I can't get over it I don't know what to do. I feel so alone and trapped in this relationship because of this pregnancy. I know he loves me but then I feel stupid for staying with him because he cheated I know Im a stronger person than this but now with the pregnancy I feel so weak.

Your guys are idiots. There is nothing hotter or sexier than a pregnant women they just glow.

I'm 29 and coming up on the end of my 3rd trimester... About 2 months ago I found out that my boyfriend of about 10 months cheated on me (about 4 months ago). I happened to come across some emails he had sent to someone he had solicited off of CRAGISLIST (yuck) whom he gave our address to and evidently had an affair at our home while I was gone for the weekend. I kicked him out of course (it was better than murdering him I guess)... I had (and still sometimes do) strong feelings of hate towards him because he hurt me so bad. He had built himself up to be such a "stand-up" guy in my eyes, only for me to find out that he was a cheat and a liar... If I weren't pregnant my choices about what to do would be much simpler....but I'M PREGNANT. I could raise this baby by myself...but I don't want to. I want to have the family that we were planning. For the past few weeks we've been seriously working on dealing with the situation... He seems to be sincere about being sorry and feeling horrible about what he did... He says and is trying to show me that he wants to and will do anything to gain my trust again, but I just can't fully buy it. A big part of me still thinks that every word that comes out of his mouth is a lie, especially since he proved how good a liar he is... I want to trust him again, but it's really hard... I feel a little stupid for even being bothered with him still, but when Ur pregnant with a baby, decisions that may have been so easy to make just aren't that simple anymore... My daughter deserves to have a home where BOTH parents are there caring for her, so that is pushing me to try get over what happened and work this out with him. Am I stupid???

Hi, I'm a man in a very similar situation. My GF cheated on me while we were together, but she was just pregnant at the time and kept lying to me when we were together. I know your feelings and I know it's been a while since you wrote this story, but I would love to hear how it turned out?

I'm 31, I have been with my fiance 11 1/2 years and never believed he would cheat, the one thing I would say "....would never betray me and cheat on me". <br />
We just got engaged in April and I just found out he cheated on me after he proposed. We have been away from one another for a year as we work in seperate cities, he feels if I loved him the same way he loves me I would have quit my job and moved to where he is living. I recognize he has done so much for me, he let me travel to Africa for a year and we stayed together, he has quit his jobs a few times to move with me so I could pursure my education and career. I know have a very well paying job and worked hard to get to the point I'm at and I did not want to give it up until I secured something where he lives. We initially agreed to this. In some ways I know I pushed him away, however he decided to find comfort from some other girl when times were tough. He even told me she was there for him, conforted him! He say's I did not show him I loved him, I was not touchy feely, rub his head. he recently asked me to co-sign for him, however after careful concideration I decided I would not co-sign for a new truck but told him I would for a 10-15 thousand vehicle, all he can see is I would not help him get what he wants whereas I believe you get what you can afford. He tells me I'm selfish and greedy, all I care about is money, which is not all true, I care about our future and all my decisions were ba<x>sed on that. All, he has ever wanted was a family with me, and children have top been a huge desire of mine. I knew I wanted them eventually but I wanted our life to be on the right track. <br />
And now, I found out about 4 weeks ago I am pregnant At this time I also started to suspect he was cheating, but he insisted I was jelous and she was just a friend. This weekend I found the evidence and he no longer could deny the truth. he tells me it only happened once, but he has continued to text message and talk to her. He said once he knew I was pregnant he ended it. I don't know what to believe.<br />
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The emotions I am feeling are crazy, I'v always been independent, and strong willed but today I woke thinking maybe I can forgive him, however I keep trying to bring myself back into reality. With raging pregnancy hormones, I'm not sure how I am going to get through this but I have to keep telling myself I can do it.

HELP!!! I have a 7 month old little girl who I love more than anything and my boyfriend and i both have children from previous relationships...We tried to get pregnant, it was no accident and always said that we would stay together through anything but never cheat on each other. Well he did!!! When I was 7 months pregnant i started getting that women's intuition, I knew something was off, I had my suspicions and he was finding excuses to go to his ex grilfriends house ALOT! they were switching through daycare (his daughter) but suddenly she would pick her up on his days and he was going to her house, I knew something was up, he would be gone way to long and come home acting all giddy. it made me sick but if i confronted him he played the victim and mad eme feel like a crazy person. Well in Jan right after baby was born i found text messages on his phone and I confronted him, he said they had been sending innapropriate messages back and forht a few times and it was nothing and he wa sorry, but it didnt add up, i kept pushing the issue and finally now 7 months after finding the texts i find out it was all true!!! THey had had an affair from Oct to Dec and he ended it supposedly because he knew it was wrong and that i was truley the one he wanted to be with, I left him for a few days but went back and now I am on my feet again and struggling with do i stay or do i go??? He has had hardly any contact with her since Jan and I have been watching closely, but do i want to live this way??? always wondering and watching? I want to leave him but i do still love himm but i feel so stupid and i know she is smiling about all this. We started counseling and he is acting like he is sorry and wont do it again but idk....

I'm a mother of a 5 month old baby my boyfriend ex watever cheated on me when I was 6 months pregnant..I try and try to Forget about him and move on but it's hard I'm madly in love with him but I don't want to give him anymore chances I was constantly catching him texting girls and having picturesbof them on his cell it broke my heart and it still does we tried working things out but I'm constantly thinking bad and wondering were he's at when he's not home so iblive with my parents now I want to forget about this and move on with my life..any advice on how to forget about a man you had a baby with and spent 5 years with?? :(

I just ended my first trimester and like the first lady, I just found out a few days ago my Husband might be cheating on me. I put might cuz I know he kissed a girl who works with him, he told me and that he has ffelings for her but still loves me. Its killing me and I dotn want the stress to affect the baby. maybe thats why im writing this all out. I dont know if he wants me sexually anymore. im not sure what hes feeling I thought everything was goign so good we were happy and then he told me and since then ive been crying every day Im so lonely when he goes to work we just moved provinces and I know no one. im never sure if hell come home saying he slept with her. I dont know if right now hes at work kissing and holding her. Its all I can think about. I dont know what to do about it. ive already raised a child from a previous relationship for 3 1/2 years all alone with the father that was distant and didnt care about her. I know he wouldnt do that to our baby now and he loves my daughter like he was her father, but I dont want to have to raise my children telling them daddy isnt here cuz he doesnt want mommy any more maybe hell come see us on his day off im sorry my babies<br />
i dotn even know what to say I think I needed to vent, I just feel so alone like im screaming for someone but nothing is coming out

Hi guys im only knew to this - but am going through a tough time with the same sort of problem. I have only been with my partner for 6 months - me 21 and him 18 - and im 5 months pregnant. In the first couple of months we were together i found him texting younger girls VERY inappropriately as if he were single - which i class as cheating. He did it 4 times with 4 different girls, and at one stage he spent the day with a 16 year old saying via facebook that she was his ' missus' when we hadnt even broken up or anything. I decided to give him a chance as he said he has realised what he was doing was wrong and that he loves me and cant wait to have our baby girl. Now - I am soooo insecure - i think he is cheating with anyone and everyone, I get so anxious whenever he is on his phone, whenever he is out or even at work - this obviously causes alot of fighting and everytime we do fight and i threaten to leave him - he threatens to kill himself. He has done this a few times now. I packed my stuff and left today - not wanting to leave him fully but more wanting to prove a point that I cant go on without him being more supportive of how i feel - now, of course again he is saying he is going to kill himself and i cant even get a hold of him. I am beside myself, trying to call him every half hour - and now Im thinking what if he isn't going to ' kill himself' like he says - which oh my gosh i am praying that he doesnt - but what if he isnt and he is actually with a girl instead? it is doing my head in and i want to work things out because i love him and of course everyone wants a 2 parent relationship for their child..but I really dont know what to do, I dont trust him at all yet, and now I cant even get a hold of him and im so scared....what do i do???? :(

I am in my second trimester with our first husband and I just found out about his "ways". I found out that he had been sending posts to women on Craigs list wanting to talk and meet them. I found out he was sending emails from a hidden email account to his ex girlfriend. So now I dont know what to do. Definately gonna keep our baby : > but im not so sure about us. I guess I will have to see where the future holds.

My husband and I have been together 11 years and I am in my 3rd trimester with our 4th child. Our sex life took a terrible turn for the worse during our first pregnancy ad he just was not that attracted towards me when I was pregnant. We decided to try something out the next pregnancy, allowing to have sex with another women during the last four months of my pregnancy. We would mutually pick a women and talk about her. I had to approve of her. We would set up some ground rules to be followed, for example, no kissing, limit to one time per week, no ******* inside her, etc. I am serious when I tell you it saved our marriage. We have repeated this process 3 times. Just finished selecting his partner for the next 4 months. I know it sounds crazy but he is 10 times more enjoyable during that period compared to if he were not having sex. I think it is critical in who you select. I know my husband loves me and always will. Anyway, I understand where you all are coming from but I just wanted to shared a slightly different take on the issue.

i am 35 years old and have just given birth to my third child my boyfriend is eleven years younger, when i found out i was pregnant he lost all interest in me and started going out and dissappearing for days we argued and fought and he ended up moving out, i went into labour 6 weeks early and had our baby he only came to see us a few times in hospital again prefering to be with his mates last week i had a call from him saying he was in prison he had gone back into bad ways with his mates an he has learnt his lesson and asking me to wait for him, i wanted us to be a family so i agreed then a few nights ago his ex friends text me and tell me he was cheating while me and his baby was in hospital, i am so stressed out i dont know what to do.

I'm 30 years old and have been divorced for over a year and my exhusband left me when our daughter, concevied through IVF because he is infertile was 6 months old. To make a long story shirt, when he left me, he denied an affair. I found out he did have one 6 weeks after he left. Of course, he denied it, but i had the proof and more truth came out. Since then I was told they met at his Christmas Party, the one he went to without me when our daughter was 6 months old. in the past 2 and a half years he moved in with this woman and they are getting married in April. Last night, we took our daughter out to dinner, he used my computer to print up a coupon and left his email open. I couldn't help but look , because after all this, I felt there was alot still hidden in the closet. There sure was. My gut was right. I found out this affair began when I was pregnant. They have hae a picture together dated when I was 28 weeks pregnant. ANd that date is the date they both use in their email addresses. He was leading a double life. Claiming his love for me, excited about the family we went through so much for. Turned out while I was pregnant, working nights as an ICU nurse, he was taking that time to cheat on me with her and living a life with her.<br />
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This new revelation has caused me much pain, but I think it was the last I needed to let go. I hate that ***** is in my daughter's life, I hate that I still have to communicate with him being that our daughter is only 3.<br />
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I didn't tell him I found out. I finally emailed his mistress. We have never had contact. She now knows the truth and the whole story, and she could do what she wants with it.<br />
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You never think it could happen to you. You watch these talk shows unable to believe these cheaters who deny it and cheat under the worst circumstances must me fake.<br />
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Then you live it. And it is indescribable. <br />
My last 10 years of my life was a joke with this man. But luckily I can take from it my daughter.

i'm 27 yrs old and 4months pregnant with my first child. i broke up with my babies father back in aug of 09 and we got back together like april or so of 2010. so on and off like 3 years. i cheated on him one night (well dont think i ended up doing anything i'm almost positive but cant really remember cause i was drunk) but my bf basically walked in just in time and saw me and my ex half naked in my room. so whatever we got over that and then when i broke up with him i started dating another guy.... so were together now and 3 months ago we were doing just fine but i went thru his phone cause i had a gut feeling and found out he was texting with this female an sending pics of his man hood to her and read that they had met, it said things like i enjoyed hugging you and so on, didnt read antything about them sleeping together, so anyways i forgave him for that and got over it. 3 months later (a weeka go) he was sleeping and his phone kept going off with texts at like 5am, so i checked it and it was him dirty talking to this female from his job. I knew they were friends but didnt think they talked this way. In the text he talked about how he wanted to have sex with her and so on. she would reply by saying that she would never have sex with him cause they are not in a relationship and so on (mind you she has a 6 month old baby and is married).... i ended up calling her and of course she said they never did anything it was just dirty talk. From what i read once again they never ended up having sex but just the fact that he was talking like this to another female i felt betrayed expecially while carrying his baby. He didnt deny anything (obviously) and said that yes he was dirty texting with her but that was all. til today i dont know what to do and dont know if i could trust him.... hes done the same thing a few times so what makes me think he wont ever do it again? i'm devastated.... i thought he was the greatest man every, hes always there for me even after i did what i did he got back with me. He treated me like his queen so why all this? :-( i dont think i can be with him no more i will never trust him and his stupid phone :-(

"During pregnancy women go through a mental, physical and emotional change and those elements alone are enough to carry and when the selfish act of infidelity and or adultery becomes apart of the equation it manifest stress. It's an absolute disrespect and a show of a lack care about the condition of their wife who is doing the most special thing in the world which is being able to carry a special being, an actual person. In addition the lack of concern of the unborn child is just as terrible if not more damaging. It is a know fact that women who are pregnant should not be stressed. There are certain chemicals that come from stress that can cause other health related issues. Pregnant women are also already hormonal. Mix those two entities together and there it is, an unhealthy situation has just resulted from one person's selfish acts. Really spouses should ask themselves if they are thinking about infidelity 1) will my significant other approve of this behavior 2) if my spouse found out about this would it hurt her 3) is this helping my family by partaking in this activity. These three questions should help one make the right decision so that the hurt, pain, lack of trust and rebuilding a relationship due to infidelity is not your issue. We have much to worry about in the unstable world the last thing a wife needs is an unstable relationship with someone that is suppose to be her rock, her best friend, her partner in life. When a women is carrying a life this is the most important time to ensure that all around her is doing what ever can be done to ensure the enhancement and development of the unborn not stress her so that the pregnancy becomes stress which thereby puts stress on the unborn. There are many studies that confirm stress as a silent killer.

Im 26 and just found out my boyfriend cheated on me once again. We were together for 9yrs and we always had infedility issues but it came a point in our relationship where i tried to put a lot of the past to the side by letting him earn my trust not a 100% but little by little. After this altercation im done with him. Im 6 months pregnant we always said we loved so hard, but i had a feeling i always loved him more and harder. The day of the incident i went crazy and my mother had spoken to me and told me that i need to stop acting in that matter because i have my baby inside of me which feels everything.I really thought about what she said and i stressed it so much the minute i feel myself about to cry i either speak to someone or listen to music or even write like im doing now, but its crazy how you can love some one so strong and after getting hurt so many times you just forget about all of it and lose your love for that person. Im defitnetly moving on and looking forward to my bright future with my daughter by my side he can see and be with the baby at any time, but i cant stay with him anymore because love does not hurt and even if i was to go back with him who knows when would be the next time he do it since hes immune to his cheating ways.

i have been married for 12 years 5 years ago my husband cheated on me with a prositiute for the first time while i was up the duff however i only recently found out my husband cheated on me consistantly scince. had i have known at the time i would of had an abortion (i have major issuses saying that but...) and cut all ties. harsh yes but for the record he hasnt changed he recently confessed to countless affairs because he loves me (omg) and wants our marriage to work but now the bi polar bit of fluff is stalking me, phone calls and online bullying it will never stop i am trying to hang in there till my next therapy session all i am saying is if there is a way out now take it they are jerks and will most likely not change they are such good liars wow honey i am so happy your pregnant meanwhile they are most likely on the down low looking for a brown cherry to pop. you should ask him how many others if they can the happiness out of this special time they dont care i wish i could go back for a do over. good luck sweetness

I would like to start by saying that I've been holding this in for far too long, and I am extremely ashamed of my actions. I am currently cheating on my pregnant fiance. <br />
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We started dating in senior year of high school(we are both 23 now) after being friends for a few years. I was madly in love with her, even back then. I never cheated on her ever before now, because hurting her was never a thought that had crossed my mind. Anyway, when highschool ended, I decided to attended the same college as her, because the thought of not being with her, killed me. And our love grew. In August of 08 I asked her to marry me. <br />
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Her last year of college, she had to do her student teaching, and she got placed in a school close to her home...which was about an hour from where i was. We were living together all throughout college, but due to driving distance she decided that moving back home was the smartest thing to do. This meant that I would now only be able to see her on the weekends. This is when my animosity towards her began.<br />
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Now I only got to see her 2 or 3 times a week, and most of the time we were dealing with stressful wedding planning(due to our low finances). I began to have my second thoughts about her. Around the same time i started a new job and became friends with a girl there in the office who had a long time boyfriend. I typically would never be friends with a girl, because this would make my fiance enraged, but because she was dating this guy for so long, I felt like me and her alot in common and nothing(adult oriented) could ever happen. Because i knew my fiance wouldn't be happy about this, i told her that my new friend at the office was a guy, keeping the pressure off of me(this is where my lying started).<br />
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We became closer and closer friends and started hanging out, outside of the office. And one night, we both had a few drinks, and i found myself kissing her(we only kissed). I felt so torn up about it i couldn't eat for days. It was the first time in my life I ever cheated. At the same time I did start to realize that I did really like this girl at the office. And instead of never seeing her outside of the office like i swore to myself, i proceeded to make the same mistake over and over( just kissing). <br />
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After a few weeks of this, I decided that there was no way i could get married, if i couldn't stay true, so i sat down with my fiance and told her that i wasn't ready for marriage yet(i did not tell her about me kissing someone else). The wedding was called off(but we didn't tell anyone), and we were fighting frequently. Our relationship was ending. <br />
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Meanwhile, I was falling for my co-worker. I wanted to gauge how much she liked me, so I told her that me and my fiance totally split up( I figured i would see if she'd break things off with her long time boyfriend so i could gauge what kind of person she was). She did not break up with him, in the following weeks, and i, being as stupid as I am thought that she was just waiting for the right time. So i did not completely break it off with my fiance either. A month and a half after we called off the wedding, my fiance sat down with me and told me she was pregnant. <br />
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I was shocked, scared, suicidal, and alone. It did not make sense. We weren't have frequent relations like we used to at this point(because of our rocky status), and she was on the pill. Now she claims she never missed a day, but i think she did it on purpose to trap me(knowing that our relationship was doomed). So now she had an excuse to say the wedding was canceled, because she was expecting. I full blown hate her at this point.<br />
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I told her numerous times that i wasn't ready for a child, and that i wasn't even ready for a wedding. I told her that if she loved me, she would either abort the child, or give it up for adoption. But she refused both of these(i don;t know if i could have lived with myself either). But i made it clear that I DID NOT WANT THE CHILD. She did not seem to care about what i wanted.<br />
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As this was happening, I was still seeing my coworker on the side, who i was falling for terribly. We were not having sex at this point, so our affair wasn't purely physical at all. I felt a real strong connection with her, like I have never felt before. She was STILL dating her boyfriend and i began to not care about this, seeing as I could not break up with my fiance anymore. This coworker however thought me and my fiance have been split up for a few months now. <br />
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Soon me and the coworker started to have a physical connection as well( After about 3 months of purely kissing and talking). I am in love with her, even though she had a boyfriend at this point. The whole time I'm pretending to be single, and she still doesn't care. I know she is using me at this point and it's hurting me alot, but in the back of my mind i know I am doing the same to her(even though she doesn't know). But knowing that she could be OK with hurting me like that, I know she is a bad person, but i can;t seem to shake her because I love her so much( i never told her i love her because of the situation makes it not appropriate).<br />
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3 more months pass and now she has broken up with her boyfriend. She strung me along for 7 months, thinking i was single. There is no way she is a good person, or could ever really care about me like the way i care about her. Meanwhile I have been doing all this behind my pregnant fiance's back. I am a ******* terrible person. There hasn't been a day over the last 7 months where i haven't though about how much easier things would be if i was dead. I hate my life, and i hate everyone around me. I want to stop seeing this coworker, i just can't seem to bring myself to do it. My fiance still loves me(athough if she knew how i really was, i doubt she would). What should I do? The baby is due in 1 month. Please help me.

I am 6 mths pregnant and just found out my boyfriend may be cheating on me with his first child mother. I have been having a difficult pregnancy and was put on pelvic rest .So since i have been pregnanct we cant have sex. He started pulling away from our relationship and sleeping in our guest bedroom claiming he didnt want to bother me while i sleep . I also found a pack on condoms that he claimed was his friend but i found them in his pockets but they were not open so i didnt trip. Well tomorrow he is going out of town to his sister wedding and said his mom wanted to take him and his daughter to the airport since their flight is at the same time and i wouldnt have to get out of the bed so early to drop them off . I ran out to tell him he forgot something and who do i see picking him up . That would be his chid mother.. Obviously he was going to her house to spend the night and she was going to take them to the airport . I blacked out i was so hurt and disappointed all he kept saying is i am sexually frustarted. I wasnt thingking and i am sorry and please dont leave me , Now i feel stuck in this relationship. I dont want to be unhappy but i wanted my child to be in a 2 parent home but i dont know if its worth loosing my sanity. How can i trust him ever again? I am sexually frustrated as well but what am i suppose to do have sex and jeporadize my babys health? No i cant see mysef doing that ..Hes been apologizing all night long but i dont feel it sincere because i feel he is only apologizing because he got caught . I dont know what to do . I dont want to tell my parents because they will be livid and want me to move back home and I dont want to tell my friends cause i am embarrassed that i have such a childish and immature person i am dealing with whom can only think of him self . I am so beyond stressed .

So I would like to also add what happened in my life. I am now at a stage where I can share my story and take constructive criticism or insights without becoming emotional. I fell in love. Crazy in love! Me and my boyfriend (at the time) conceived a child. I thought everything was amazing in life. I had an amazing man, my first child on the way.... life was near perfect in my eyes. Thirteen weeks into our pregnancy I was involved in a tragic accident. (Sorry my story is going to be somewhat lengthy, but please read mine) I was bringing him lunch. I did a ton of nice things for him. Anyways the accident happened while I was doing something for him. The accident was not my fault. I was in the hospital for a month. I was told it seemed like I was re-born. Forgot how to talk and eat. I talked like a child. I had to be taught how to do almost everything again. I couldn't walk because of my injuries to my legs. and so on..... The only person I asked about everyday was him which I'll call him Bob. (That's not his name) So you think with something that tragic and the only person I asked about was him, that I was in love?? Yes I was. ANYWAYS.... a week after I was released from the hospital he broke up with me. He said at first it was because he didn't know if he was ready for that "long, term" relationship (ideally marriage). But later on he said it was because he was interested in someone else and didn't want to cheat on me. Who really knows the real reason?!!? So our daughter was born 5 1/2 months later. I find out a 2 weeks after he was seeing that girl he "didn't want to cheat on me with" on and off through that time.... Also keep in mind the past two months before our daughter was born he was telling me a lot of things like how he loves me and yadda yadda. A month before she was born and a couple weeks after he was around me ALL OF THE TIME. Stayed the night, we went out for dinner and went to the movies, things like that. Did stuff together sexually before her birth.... In my mind things were going well, we'll get back together. Nothing along the lines there was someone else in the picture. Anyways.... in January we get back together. Like title wise and all. It's decided. Two weeks after that I find out (not from him) but through a grapevine of ppl and on the girls myspace she's pregnant. I ask him if there was a chance the baby can be his. He says no. He says the last time they slept together was before our daughter was born yadda yadda. He finally confesses and says he was told a few weeks ago??? Whatever. He told me her due date that she was told and counting the days back...... there is NO WAY it was before our daughter was born. It was about 2 weeks after she was born. Sooo..... it took me sometime but we really weren't officially back together so ok ya he didn't cheat on me we can work through this. I was still crazy about him.... Ok, So since it was still in the beginning of us being back together (this was during those two weeks or so before I found all of that out..... you know what happens? Yes the make-up sex, whatever. Anyways, I found out the stuff with her at the end of January. We did this valentine's trip to Vegas which helped me think ok we'll work..... and on Leap Year, guess what? I find out I'm pregnant! (Yes I know, crazy me) Anyways.... we still stayed together. His second child (a daughter with the other woman) was born in the summer time. I was due beginning of November with my second. In October of that year, a few weeks before our second was born this big situation happened and I was sooo mad that I finally just said it's over, nothing to do with you blah blah blah. (He was over at her house but as he said "hanging out with his daughter" however it was around 11 at night, he wasn't answering my calls, when he finally did he lied and said he fell asleep, then said he was playing xbox with friends, then said he was out with a guy friend, then finally said he was with her. STUPID I KNOW) Anyways the next morning I call (hormone crazy me last night or something) saying we can work through it and what not i've been stressed and all knowing the baby will be coming soon all of that. I also asked him that morning did he sleep with her? (you know bc it was late and whatever) He said No. Our son was born at the end of October. During the time after that we decided to move to another state. To start life and what not as a family. Also during the time my sister tells me, did you hear that "so and so (which is that girl) is pregnant?" I said noooo, and asked BOB, he said no but being her friend I think she would of told me." Hmmmm, I questioned his answered in my mind but wanted our trust to be good so I believed him. Anyways we moved at the end of December. Two weeks after we moved guess what I found out?!?!? (Again not from him but from her myspace and through the grapevine) She's pregnant again! I asked him repeatedly, he finally confesses. They slept together that one night I said I'm done. (Counting back the days of her due date, it does work that way but you never know... it could of happened any day around that) He said she told him she was pregnant before we moved? WTF. I moved away from everyone I knew friends/family to go to where he was from to start life??? I gave up a lot. So I kicked him out, called my dad asking if I bought him a ticket, would he come help me move back. That night was the first time BOB fought for our relationship big time and the next day too. I gave in, we tried counseling... everything was on its way. I just started making the rules like no contact with her unless its just emailing here and there to see pictures of his daughter with her and to let him know any emergency's but she can't have his phone number. (They text each other a lot but he said it was only things about his daughter, but my trust was lost with him BUT I STILL WAS CRAZY ABOUT HIM) Anyways during the spring time my thoughts were ok we'll get married. This should help us. In July we got married. Everything was still going ok in my mind with the situation with her. Emailing only, pictures of the daughter and what not, then pictures of their son. Me and her started communicating. Everything was working out to its best advantage. The state we lived in wasn't working out anymore. Just too expensive. So we moved back to where I was from. Because I had to go back to finish up some hours for work (ten days worth) is the day he gets her phone number and starts talking to her again. Doesn't matter what reason he did... it still happened the day I left and he didn't even tell me until I found out a few days later. Yes if I suspect something, I'll go find out on my own. All he can say is I'm sorry. I should of told you. Blah blah blah. The texting, talking on the phone, only responding what have you happened everyday the whole week I was gone and days after I got back. He says it was only conversations about the kids, but who really knows?!? He deleted his messages, things like that. He told me he did, I didn't get that chance to find out. So from the day I got home.... twelve days later I told him that I just have to let him go even being that crazy and in love with him. That right now we aren't working out. We thought completely different on 90% of the topics we talked about. He said that girl is still his friend, he can talk to her whenever and however he wants. He should be able to go out with whoever he wants without having to talk to his wife about it first. I thought we should have better communication with each other, he thought our marriage was fine. I said our romance has been near to nothing, he disagrees because we sleep next to each other at night.... IDK Just a lot of things were going on. Anyways I am still with my decision of getting a divorce. I can't file until after 90 days of living in this state. Anyways.... I still have the fear that they have done something since I've been back or at least have had some conversation of them getting back together or what not. And that time he slept with her that one night we weren't together but got back together the next morning, I say was cheating, he doesn't. Please give me some insight. I know I want and need the divorce now, my decision won't change. It's the best thing for me and for my kids because they shouldn't see Mommy sad everyday. But I am still in love and crazy about him. Hmmmmmm.......... help me learn how to let him go.

I'm 24 and I've been with my boyfriend for 8 months and in October we found out I was pregnant. He was so excited, he always wanted to be a father. But yesterday I found out he's been cheating on me since October with his ex-girlfriend. Plus we just broke up two days ago, now he's living with a new girlfriend. He refuses to talk to me and told me it's all my fault. I knew something was up because after thanksgiving he stopped calling and texting me. I would go by his house at weird hours and he was never home. So I would call him at work to make sure he was alive and he would go nuts and yell at me for calling his work. I've been talking to his parents and sister and actually becoming close to them. But the funny thing is he stopped talking to everyone. He doesn't call his mom to check on her anymore. She has cancer and His sister is going to through a hard time but refuses to tell him because he won't call or answer the phone. But all I want out of him is to at least try to be friends so he can be there for his son/daughter. But I know I can never forgive!!

I fell pregnant by my 26 year old boyfriend,(at the time.) And i was 16.<br />
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We'd been together 5months, he told me he didn't want the baby, i felt bad but i can't have an abortion, as i lost a child before and i know that sounds bad, pregnant twice by the age of 16. I always wanted to feel loved by men as i never had that by my parents, so i looked elsewhere.<br />
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Anyways... my Ex said he'd left his other baby's mum (also she is his step sister?) before we met. But when we were together, if she rang, he'd disapear into another room, he said he didn't want her to find out about me as i was 16 and pregnant, and she'd tell his family, he said he felt too ashamed to tell them and he'd tell them when HE was ready. He used to look after their son, which i didn't mind at all, but he'd drive out to her which is 15miles away, then he'd take 4-6hours sometimes. I had no where to live, so i had to wait at his pregnant and worried that he wouldn't answer his phone. Confused.. but I tried not to think about it, he was always so mean to me, and he wouldn't work, so i had to until i was 32weeks pregnant.<br />
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When i went into labour it took him 12hours to come to the hospital because he said he was looking after his other son. I just believed him and hoped the baby wouldn't come until he got there.<br />
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I gave birth 6 nov 2007 to my son Jakob, who weighed 8lb, beautiful...<br />
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I had moved in with my sister after that as he said i couldn't live with him with the baby, i took his phone one night and got Gemma's number and we spoke, apparently he had been with her until i was about 38weeks pregnant. We met up and confronted him together, and said we'd never go back to him, but she did, fell pregnant, when my son was 3months old, she still say's til this day it isn't his, but what else am i meant to believe?<br />
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He said he wanted to be with me, and we got back together, he attacked me on many occainsons after that, accusing me of cheating, so i left him, but he harrassed me, he went to prison for 3weeks, when he came out, he was completely changed, the man i'd always loved, so i took him back, like an IDIOT.<br />
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His friend told me a couple of weeks back that My bf had slept with his gf when i was 4 1/2 months pregnant, he swore on our child's life it was a lie, but he eventually admited to it, said he was confused as his life was upsidedown, so sleeping with 2girls behind my back when i was pregnant...could've given me anything of those slappers and i could've lost my beautiful babyboy. just a man's way of solving problems..! sleep with more women! I cannot forgive him this time, there'll be no more confronting, or fighting, just me and my son, happy alone, i love him and he doesn't need to keep seeing this, i guess i tried, in a way to make it work for my boy, but we're better off alone... don't let them get away with cheating, cos they'll keep doing it... x

Found out yesterday my *wonderful* husband has been looking up the 'casual encounters' personal ads on Craigslist. I'm 14 weeks pregnant and totally lost.

I am 25 thought I had met the man of my dreams. We have been together for about a year and things were great. We found out that I was pregnant made plans to marry, everything. About 2 weeks ago he told me that he cheated on me with his ex wife. I was so upset and left. but decided that we should try to work through this. Today he told me that she is pregnant too. I have no idea what to do or say to him or how to act rationally at all. I dont think that I can actually forgive him for this. I mean I am going to be home with our newborn baby when he gets the call that she is having his child! What or how do you even get through that?

I am 5months pregnant with my second baby. 2 days ago I just found out that my husband has been cheating on me for the past 4years with different girls. I am also heart broken I want out of this marriage but I dont know where to start

I am 21 years old, and 6 months pregnant. i literally caught my fiancee THIS MORNING naked in my bed with another woman (his ex) and NEVER SAW IT COMING! I slept over my parents house last night, and decided to stop over there to see if he still didn't want to go to my ultrasound appointment. i walked in and saw her, laying there naked, and she actually smiled! i can't even remember half the things i said to them both, but right now i don't even know how to go on. he was the sweetest man IN THE WORLD to me, and i just can't beleive this is really hapenning too me. I eventually went to my ultrasound appointment, compleatly ditraught of course, but then i saw my little angel, my baby boy. He is my whole world now, and i don't know what the future holds for me, but i have gained one precious joy out of all the tears i have cried so far.

Im 20 weeks and I just found an accident web page with a million things ha was up to before the pregnancy, I did the books with him too, he did the sleeping in the spare room too. It hurts in a way I can't describe, I found something even worse today. I let him know I wanted to confront him when he got back home from work. I feel numb, mostly worried about side effects of this stuff I'm feeling on the baby. I just found out about all of this stuff on Friday, do you feel any better? Did something help you because I can't find it?

My fiance cheated on me while i was and am pregnant with our second child. He did it with his ex wife and i just found out about it. I'm beyond hurt right now and i seriously don't know what to do. They have a son together so she's going to be in our lives forever, to top it all off his family didn't want me to have either of my children and they want him to go back to his ex. we are a mixed race couple and his family hates that he's been with me for the last 4 years. i'm white and he's puerto rican. then if that's not hard enough he's also 15 years older than me. He keeps saying he loves me and wants to be with me forever, but his actions prove otherwise. I keep forgiving him for his selfish behavior not coming home for days, not calling, not spending anytime with our 17 month old daughter. He was locked up for my pregnancy with her and birth. He didn't get out until she was 10 months old and two weeks later i got pregnant again with our son. He recently got arrested again and is locked up for vop waiting on a bed in a recovery house. I wanted my daughter to have a normal family but how much more can I put up with? yes i love him but that's not why I've tried to make it work. I owe it to my children to try my hardest to give them a family that's in one household. But the cost of my own dignity, heart, and self esteem doesn't seem to be the right thing to do. They deserve to be with me as a happy mother and how many times should i have to get hurt and be the bigger person and forgive, compromise, and try to make it work when all he keeps doing is taking advantage of me and destroying what little confidence i have left in being a family. I want to make it work I just don't know if it's worth all this effort if i'm not even sure if he is really committed to me and our children. How do I determine that? How do i find out what his real intensions are and get him to just come clean and tell me the truth about what he wants and needs and feels, and if he is telling me the truth when he says he wants to be with only me and raise our children and grow old together forever it sounds good but what if he's just telling me what he thinks i want to hear and really just is playing both of us? I'm so confused and hurt but i want to do the right thing for my children no matter what it is. Should I stay or should i go? How do you know if a man truelt loves you and wants to change his ways and make up for his mistakes?

you should run like the wind...this man is a ***** donor. not a father. arrested 2 times. in jail again. honey. you are just a good lay for him,,, you do not want your children to be around this kind of man... i know you think you love him but get out before he hurts you anymore

That really sucks. I am white and had my fair share of relationships with latin men and this sounds pretty typical. It sucks and I know you must be hurting however you can try all that you want to make the relationship work but if hes not then it is not worth it. You and your children deserve better.

My fiance cheated on me last summer and we decided to stay together. It was very very difficult at first because every time I couldn't get a hold of him, I was convinced he was with her again. He wasn't. We had several big fights at first, but eventually the fights became discussions and the discussions became conversations and we talked out all of the differences between us and the problems that they were causing. Once I made the decision to work towards trusting him again and he made the decision to work towards gaining my trust, things got a lot better. I had a hard time with forgiving him, but we have worked hard and we still work hard to get through little things that occasionally come up. In the end, I am almost thankful that it happened - we are stronger for it, and we communicate better, and our trust in each other is now based in real effort rather than "Eh, he's my best friend's brother, I can trust him." As much as I hate that it happened, I am grateful for where we are now.