Cyber AffairsMy story begins with this computer I am using. We bought it in November 2005 because we figured it would really help our daughter with her schoolwork. It was our new toy, but I spent a lot more time on it than anyone. I would stay up late chatting with strange men well into the night. Sometimes the chats would be sexual in nature. I guess I did it because my husband and I were going through a lull in our marriage. All he did was work, come home, sleep. Nothing more. He would be asleep by 7pm every night. We could'nt talk about anything. he was suffering from depression and was angry all the time, or blanked out. Me? I was depressed too and ready to give up. I tried to find some solace in the internet.What I really wanted to do was talk to him, not those creepy guys online. It was not long before that too, became boring. But my husband had other ideas. He found some women to chat with online through a message board. I did not have a problem with that until I noticed he was always chatting with them. He would come home and before he took a shower or even talked to me he would be online, looking to see if they left a message. Well, one night after he had been online I got online and looked in the history files. I saw some love ecard some woman had sent him. I got hot. I decided to check his mailbox. At that time we had each other's passwords. It was no problem. I looked in his mailbox and found a letter from some woman in KY with her phone number wanting him to call her. I also found e cards he had sent these women He never sent me an ecard. When I confronted him about this he became livid. How could I violate his privacy.. I pretty much slunk away like a heel and apologized for it. But he still kept up with it. I also found on the computer that Yahoo Messenger saved all of the im conversations. I read through all of them and was shocked. He had been carrying on, cybering with women online, calling them on payphones and on his Nextel. I was so angry . We argued like cats and dogs and I moved out of the bedroom and slept on the sofa for months. I asked him to stop talking to those women and you know what? He told me no. Flat out no. They weren't doing anything so why should he stop talking to them? They were wrecking our freaking marriage, is what I said. But he kept it up, even bringing his ex girlfriend into the picture. In November he went out of town for his job and when he came back everything was normal. But that day I just happened to check one of his online profiles and some woman had left a message saying something about him cheating on me. I said wtf?? and saw that this person was online. I asked her how she knew and she told me the whole story. He had met her sister in law in VA and slept with her just the night before. Ironically I did not flip right at that moment. I tried to be as understanding as I could be. I told him I knew and I said people make mistakes. But he was more angry at the woman he slept with because she told her sister in law than he was about doing something wrong. After that day there was never any peace. The understanding part was over. We had many fights and every time he refused to stop talking to these women. As far as I know there were 2 or three but there might even be more. When he went to visit his son in April he gave some strange woman online his hotel number so she could call him. We got into it about that too. And for each situation he would lie like nobody's business. Everything was a lie. I wish I could say things are all better. Eventually he stopped going online and he said he wanted our marriage to work out. But just a few weeks ago I got messages from his ex girlfriend saying he keeps calling her. I did not believe it until she showed me copies of the bill. he got mad again, at her, never himself, and although I did not jump on his case that much, I am still worried today. He lied to me again about not calling her and I wonder what else is he lying about? I also wonder if trying to work it out is even worth it anymore. I can't stand the lying. He does it because he does not want a confrontation. But every day that he leaves the house I feel like he is going to do something that he will lie to me about again. His ex girlfriend became so obsessed with him and me that she was stalking me online, coming to every site I was on, using aliases to try and communicate with me. I finally told her to back off back in early October, but it would mean it a lot more if he left her alone. I don't know what he wants from these women . i take care of the house, see to his needs and it is still not enough. He told me on more than one occasion that he didn't want to marry me. He was tired of being married and he wanted to be single again. Wish he had told me that at the altar.
nicoleal20 41-45, F 9 Responses 0 Oct 19, 2007