I used to be super confused about my sexual orientation. As a teen I feared I might be a lesbian. As a stronger supporter of the LGBT community I couldn't figure out why this bothered me. I questioned for years. I had my first lesbian experience (as you can read on my profile), gave up for a while, then started having complicated feelings for a gf of mine. We kissed every time we went out drinking, but one night I was sober, but I still enjoyed our make out. This started a snowball of more confusion. I finally "accepted" I was gay. The funny thing is I started to mourn what my life would have been before this realization? I kid you not, I cried that I would never have a husband, who would father my children, or sleep with men... I was tortured by this thought, but for some reason still thought I was a lesbian…LMAO

Finally, once I had had time to process my feelings, I found that this reaction wasn't completely "normal." I'm pretty sure most lesbians don't mourn the loss of their future husband and the sexual life that would have gone with him (some may have feelings about not having a "traditional" way of conceiving a child- simply b/c we push heterosexuality in our country, Idk…never asked anyone.)
SO I figured out after all THAT, along with tons of wavering back and forth, that I am NOT lesbian.

*I use "finally" a lot I think bc for me, this process took about 7 years to figure out :p
megmeg526 megmeg526
26-30, F
1 Response Aug 15, 2014

add me mvrck422 at skype & gtalk both