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Mom Turned Family Against Me For No Reason

I used to have a family and was very involved with them. My parents and I used to always go on trips, outings, or watch CSI together. My aunts and uncles would have us over for BBQs, and we would always talk and laugh about stuff. We would always have a thanksgiving dinner or a Christmas dinner together. Then when I was 14, my mom sent me to over 8 people for psychiatric testing, claiming I was mental. Not one person believe anything was wrong with me or that my mom had any evidence to prove so. She told me she wished I was never born, and that she had aborted me, and called me awful names. She called everyone in my family and told them horrible stories about me that weren't true. This went on for years, and then she kicked me out of the house. Then I found out my dad had terminal brain cancer. My dad had always loved me and treated me fairly and always talked to me and would hang out with me. I was devastated. He passed away this year and the day after he died my aunt gathered my family together and came up with the plan to disown me. She had met me twice in my life because she lives in Ottawa, while my other aunts and uncles knew me for years and loved me. She just listened to the lies my mom said about me. They told me I wasn't part of their family and my mom was all that mattered to them. My mom has also made all my family friends hate me, many people from my church don't like me anymore, and even my grandparents wouldn't hug me at my dads funeral. Since then I have had no family. No one cares about me except for my fiance. My family has never met him, and they never will. They won't be at my wedding. However as much as my fiance loves me it doesn't replace the feeling of having a mom or uncles and aunts. I feel alone because even when I am with my fiances family its not the same as my family once was. No one asks me how I'm doing or even congratulated me on my engagement. I just wonder if anyone else has a similar experience and has any suggestions on how to heal from this devastating loss, which happened for no reason. Thanks for reading my story.
cmfrecke cmfrecke 18-21 35 Responses Jul 31, 2010

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My mother was a horrible mother from the start. She had me at 14, and I guess had no idea what to do with me. I was always in the care of my beloved grandpa, or on of her ****** up friends. As the years went on my mother chose stripping as a profession. Let's just say no one at school knew what my mother did and I was embarrassed to introduce my friends to her. At age four my mother gave birth to a little girl she named Precious whom she gave up for adoption. At age five she married a man who hated everything about me. We caught constantly, my mother hardly ever took my side, I felt abandon most of the time by everyone. At eight, my brother was born. The golden child who did no wrong. He was praised, loved, accepted. Especially by my mothers husband, as it was his son. At age eleven they separated. And I was to blame. I never accepted his as my father, it was my fault that they fought all the time, and I pushed him out of my brothers life. Then a few months later my mother found another man to come into our lives. He was a drug user. He abused pills, did coke, shot up. And soon my mother followed suit. I spent most of my teen years raising my brother while my mother and her boyfriend got ****** up in their room. Through all this I loved my mother. The times she told me she hated me. The times she gave me a bloody nose, beat me with her shoes, whipped my *** with the belt, locked me away in my room like a prisoner. I hated wherever we lived. I hated my life. I attempted suicide at 14, but I was to much of a coward to fallow through. My mother missed all my events, cheer leading. Band. But my brothers she attended. I hold no resent towards my brother anymore. It wasn't his fault. At 16, I got pregnant. I lied to my now husband about who the father was at my mothers request. My husband has given me the courage to stand up to my mother. He is my back bone. My rock. Everything solid in my life is because of him. We have two beautiful daughters, and I couldn't be happier. My mother has met both my daughters. Even tried to take custody of my oldest after I gave birth to her. But when that didn't work out, she left the hospital in a rage and didn't come back. I didn't want her at the hospital for my youngest. She doesn't deserve to know them. Or to hurt them the same way she did me. I left a lot out. But this is the summary of my life.

both sides mums and dads side have disowned me mums side because i was my farthers daughter in other word i was a smith fake not good enough we where outcasted but mum treated my half brother like a king as her side fussed over him theres a huge age gap he was at high school when i was born he was the fav in the nest he got birthday and christmass presents etc anyway we moved by with my dad mum had left him when i was 4 yrs old and moved well away so i didnt remember my dad i only got any contact when i was bullied at school i thought i was adopted because my mum and brothers names where jones while mine was smith ???? we moved back to my dads scary and exciting by that time i was 8 yrs old sorry this is a book hard to explain otherwise i didnt know my dad but we bonded quick now i didnt even know i had aunts and uncles 9 of them plus cousins it was a shock plus another granny i was gobsmacked the reception was lukewarm remember im 8 yrs old the nasty uncle and one of the older end told my dad to his face he thought i was another mans child not a smith as i was dark haired others had blue eyes fair hair though dad has brown eyes and dark hair ?? only one of brothers and sis with brown eyes they all had same farther and he was dna proved you can see this was a fun time he was my farther still i was shunned my younger cousins where given presents meals etc stayed overnight wait this is a corker he said i had to pay for my meals at my own grandmothers house while my two female cousins ate there dinner onwardly giggling at me i felt humiliated beyond belief my grandma bless her was great she made me my dinners anyway told him i was as much intitled as rest as i was same but from that day it went down hill an aunty ive never really liked her but she was familey began to lie about me she told my mum when i was 12 that id told her some shite about my mum being better than my nana /grandma i never said it ever but who do you believe an adult with her own child or a 12 yr old she grinned at me she knew i couldnt fight back and now she has taken my inheritance and turned another fam member against me who came over from auss id never met him before was excited as a puppy shouldve learnt really 1st 2 times im thick yes she told him id said somthing about my other aunt who had passed from breast cancer nice he looked at me full of venom he wouldve killed me i think but i was 16 then he told me he would walk away and never look back thats whats happened my whole fam are mental either them or me not sure anymore sorry i wrote an encyclopedia wow feels great to unload oh to top it yeah sorry get it all out they say my best friend who i grew up with shared secrets etc just told me we couldnt be friends anymore because i have a mental health condition she dosnt want that influence round her babys wtf i have bi-polar and social anxiety not surprising really????????????????

take ur fiance n RUN..haha Good thing you found someone while they were trying to tear down ur esteem_interview several counsellors-n when one feels like a good fit-tell ur story-the validation will heal-

My mother stopped speaking to me 13 years ago after many years of rejection and lies. The strange lies were there to set the stage for taking as many family members with as possible. A few years ago, after my Uncle passed away, the family wanted to get together without a funeral. I was on the email list and responded. The world didn't come crashing in, so I naively became excited and hopeful. Months later in the planning process, the one Aunt who loves me mentioned we were staying with her and was hoping to have a BBQ. Minutes later my step-father replied with 'we won't be coming'. One by one, the rest of the group didn't feel comfortable continuing without my mother. I replied to all and said to continue with their plans, I would change my trip dates. I heard nothing from anyone. My Aunt and I coordinated new dates, paid the change of res fees only to find out later that they changed their dates secretly, leaving not only me out, but my Aunt, who dared not to hate me.

I'm heading back to Texas this for wedding and beginning the trip with a visit to my Aunt's. The other relatives want to come by and see me. I can't understand this and it makes my fearful. My stomach is in knots and I don't have the courage to say no, this my vacation, I don't want to spend it as a curiosity for my mother's lap dogs. So, I prepare, pack and worry.

None of these people have ever met, let alone acknowledged my daughter. I didn't grow up with these women. The whole thing is just weird. I have no faith that their intentions are good, but again don't want to be the small, petty person and say no. The feeling of being disowned never really goes away. It helps to have strong relationships with mentors and friends. But, you always want it known and acknowledged that this is wrong, undeserved and cruel.

it is very wrong i agree i have a husband but his familey have passed away he is older than me i have no freinds as i only had 3 so called friends in school i cant work due to very bad health i am very lonley i just dont understand how blood can hurt each other for what reason ???

Seeing as your family is a Christian family I would make a religious gesture such as giving your mom 30 pieces of silverware

Oh my..it's my story in your words, only my Father is still alive, but sick along with other family members. He has chosen to shut me out too unless I apologize for something I said that was true & I just can't again, I have for so many years. I have tried so hard to prove I wasn't the crazy one & that I am here for everyone & begged to be a part of family & get togethers, even before that argument that started all this up again. I don't even without a diagnosis of anything during my childhood or even now. Except anxiety & no one will even ask my side of this, she plays this "Poor Me" game & tells everyone how horrible I am & I was, she says it in a way that can't be proven a lie, but instead an insinuation towards me that no one else will see. Even when things were "good" I wasn't invited to any family outings when other family came into town & sometimes wasn't even told they were here. I believe that was a trick to use for later. I would call numerous times to go with the family to breakfast before a flight, or other things like that & they would call me back after making up an excuse. At a family funeral last week I was treated as if I had a plague. She is telling people they had to refinance their home to help me out financially. That is not true. She has been telling me for 20 years they did have to refinance their home from a medical bill I had that I was within an hour of dying when I was a teen, but I think she is referring to that & making it seem like it was recent. I honestly would have preferred them to let me die than hold it over my head for 20 years. This has honestly been the hardest thing I have ever dealt with. I do have a wonderful boyfriend, kids & friends that have seen her ways & validated me. I could go on for years about the past, but past is past & this is now. I feel alone & isolated too, since I was 6. I am truly sorry & understand your pain & thank you for posting, I am glad I am not alone.

Dear Candahope
Thankyou for your reply I tried to answer before but I think I messed up and it did not go through.
I can tell from the little I know you that your a nice warm and kind person like I try to be also, maybe we make ourselves targets by being like this.

The ain does not go away and I must admit there are not many days that I do not think about what has happened to me and many days I shed some tears.

I think well if their intent was to hurt me they have succeeded and done a very good job. Its just so hard to think that your mam or even your dad would want to hurt their child like that, well one of them anyway.

Its very difficult not to start blaming yourself although I can honestly say I don't know what I did. Maybe I was a constant reminder to my mother and step father that I was not theirs I don't know.
I do now the hurt continues and as you get older its more of a deep pain as you understand you can do nothing about it. The only thing you can do is to try and surround yourself with what love you have in your life like spouse kids and grandkids etc.

I am sure we will have the pain for the rest of our lives and it definitely effects you as a person. WE will be stronger because of that and I remember one thing my old Grandmother said to me she was on her last legs and she hugged me and said don't worry mike god knows.

I feel sad and upset when I think of it but also gather strength in my very low times.

your friend Mike

my gran the good one has been gone many years but she was disowned by the son who told me to pay for my meals he met a woman he met at a bar lit took her home in front of my nan he showed this woman deeds to my nans house she was 75 at this stage to old to fight really and told this woman who was a con artist but thats another story if she married him had his baby the house was hers for the taking she snapped up that offer two weeks after my cousin was on the way nana was fuming they fell out the son disowned his mum they never ever made up i think it helped to kill her she had a silent heart attack and died two month after that anyway long story sorry she told me what goes around comes around but my aunty and whats left are still enjoying the wealth that was meant for all fam not just the few though that uncle died the wife has left dosnt talk to us last time i saw her she was arguing over his will he had only died mins earlier of cancer so maybe theres truth but though we got rid of the con artist my aunty the nasty one has taken over bad uncles spot got house in her name stopping us once again she gets the lot its a mini mansion the other uncles are learning disabled and she lied to them the bad uncle left his wife in charge she washed her hands and left them alone they have minds of well kids so she convinced them we are the bad lot she's the angel if you'd have told me this was how my life would pan out ????????? :o

wow this was like a mirror of everything im and have gone through both sides mums and dads side have disowned me mums side because i was my farthers daughter in other word i was a smith fake not good enough we where outcasted but mum treated my half brother like a king as her side fussed over him theres a huge age gap he was at high school when i was born he was the fav in the nest he got birthday and christmass presents etc anyway we moved by with my dad mum had left him when i was 4 yrs old and moved well away so i didnt remember my dad i only got any contact when i was bullied at school i thought i was adopted because my mum and brothers names where jones while mine was smith ???? we moved back to my dads scary and exciting by that time i was 8 yrs old sorry this is a book hard to explain otherwise i didnt know my dad but we bonded quick now i didnt even know i had aunts and uncles 9 of them plus cousins it was a shock plus another granny i was gobsmacked the reception was lukewarm remember im 8 yrs old the nasty uncle and one of the older end told my dad to his face he thought i was another mans child not a smith as i was dark haired others had blue eyes fair hair though dad has brown eyes and dark hair ?? only one of brothers and sis with brown eyes they all had same farther and he was dna proved you can see this was a fun time he was my farther still i was shunned my younger cousins where given presents meals etc stayed overnight wait this is a corker he said i had to pay for my meals at my own grandmothers house while my two female cousins ate there dinner onwardly giggling at me i felt humiliated beyond belief my grandma bless her was great she made me my dinners anyway told him i was as much intitled as rest as i was same but from that day it went down hill an aunty ive never really liked her but she was familey began to lie about me she told my mum when i was 12 that id told her some shite about my mum being better than my nana /grandma i never said it ever but who do you believe an adult with her own child or a 12 yr old she grinned at me she knew i couldnt fight back and now she has taken my inheritance and turned another fam member against me who came over from auss id never met him before was excited as a puppy shouldve learnt really 1st 2 times im thick yes she told him id said somthing about my other aunt who had passed from breast cancer nice he looked at me full of venom he wouldve killed me i think but i was 16 then he told me he would walk away and never look back thats whats happened my whole fam are mental either them or me not sure anymore sorry i wrote an encyclopedia wow feels great to unload oh to top it yeah sorry get it all out they say my best friend who i grew up with shared secrets etc just told me we couldnt be friends anymore because i have a mental health condition she dosnt want that influence round her babys wtf i have bi-polar and social anxiety not surprising really????????????????

I really feel for you and am suffering almost the same type of pain. My real father left when I was just under three years old and after many beatings which stay with me today. I know that sounds unbelievable that you can remember at that age but its true. Then I was alone with mam under really hard times when I guess she was the only person in the world that I had. Finally when I was 9 she met someone else and they got married. They moved far away and he adopted me but as time went on I realise it was obvious that the adoption it seemed was to save embarrassment for them and not for me, although when your young you don't understand this, life seemed not to bad ten they had a daughter of their own and that really was the end for me. Now maybe to cover what they felt they turned the whole family against me and I am completely disowned. My family or myself are never included in anything or even informed. My step father has unfortunately passed away now but my mother is still alive. She is going senile now and does not understand what is going on. But over time when she was alright she would even ignore my daughter and her two sons who are her right full great grandsons. The pain it causes me is without belief and there is not a day that goes by that it does not come into my thoughts. My real father never ever even came to see me when he left, it effects you very much and eventually you believe it is your fault and honestly I have done nothing. The family is not poor and now there is only my mother left out of three brothers and five sisters, out of al of the children my cousins (27) I am the only one that has not been included in any inheritance, its nice to inherit something not that its about money but to see that someone actually cared. I am getting old now and it seems to effect me more and more as I have had a hard life and have never been unemployed and had to work hard all my life and my health is starting to fail me a bit but I have to keep going due to my financial position. I find myself wondering all the time why what did I do who am I really who and what was my real father. I feel that when my mother was not married and we were together that we must have created a real close bond but now I know that was not true. I wonder if she hated my real father and is blaming me for their disastrous marriage.
MY step father I excuse somewhat as I was not his son and must have been a real issue being the son of another man, BUT my mother how can a mother treat her son like that. My half sister was always the chosen one and I had to look on while she had everything while myself nothing, this has made her think she is so much better than me and enjoys the situation. As you get older you realise that there is no answer that will ever come to you t will always be the same as it is now but someone once told me remember Mike god knows for people like us its the only ease of the pain. It helps but does not fix the pain you feel. Maybe my note explaining that your not alone with your experience will help you I hope so. Its strange isn't it we can care about how other people feel and don't like people being hurt or suffering while our own parents care nothing about us and really enjoy hurting us. If that's what my mother wanted she has been very successful.

regards and blessings

Mike

Its quite ironic how I came across this today. I just woke up after seeing my boyfriend off to work, tried to lay down and go back to sleep and all I can think about is my mother and her having destroyed me mentally from her verbal and emotional abuse. As far as i can remember my mother wanted nothing to do with me. She was too busy with my brother who was the king of her world and could do no wrong but boy could i. My mother used to lock me in my room from 9 pm at night until 7 am because she said I was stealing when in reality I was so hungry because everytime that woman cooked she made everything I didnt like and made me sit at the table until 2 am forcing me to eat whatever it was she made which was usually brocolli until it caused me to throw up. Then she would yell at me and send me to bed still hungry. There were nights when I would have to pee out of my window because she wouldnt get up and unlock my door to let me use the washroom. This all started around the time I was 11 give or take a year. I dont remember everything because my mind has chosen to block it out but this morning I remembered myself crying because my mother was yelling at me and she would just mimic every sound I made while I was crying, i felt so helpless and angry but knew if I said anything that when my dad got home she would tell him i did something awful to stress her out and make things difficult for her and thats when things got bad. My dad, i love him hes my bestfriend and ive chosen to forget everything he did to me as a pre teen and even what continues on till today. Its sad that he chose to turn on me the way he did to keep her happy. I was not trusted in the house as a young teenager because my mom said I stole her jewlery when in reality we both knew it was my brother but she knew if she blamed it on me i would get another beating from my father ; what i classify as a beating : my dad used to throw 2L pop bottles at me, he would drag me from his room to my room by my hair, hes choked me and almost given me a heart attack when i was younger. A big part of me hates him for not protecting me and taking me away from the abuse. I was not trusted in the house therefore my mother would kick me out in the morning sometimes it was 6am sometimes 7am and tell me to find somewhere to go this was around 14 when I had just finished public school i wouldnt be allowed back home until either my mother or father were done work which was around 8 or 9 pm (sad right) so i walked around for 12 hours everyday didnt matter what the weather was like. Im now going to be starting counselling but i dont know if it will help. Theres so much more that she has done that i dont remember because my mind has pushed it far down because its too much to even think about and even after all of that, I find myself at 20 years old still yearning for the love of my mother even though I will never recieve it, thats all i wanted was to be accepted by her to feel her love, to have her tell me she loved me or even hug me but no it wont happen but for some reason I cant stop wanting to make her proud because maybe just maybe if i do something right she will say sorry and tell me she loves me and she wants to start again... But thats a slim to none maybe.

Wow, hey...I just somehow came across your story and it was like reading my own life story. This happened to me also and have struggled for years trying to deal.with the loss. I used to try to want to win them over but I have come to learn that I did everything I could and they just treated me so bad. All I can say is that I can empathise with you and know the pain you are experiencing. They will one day realise that they did such a terrible thing. You sound like a strong person like me and they are probably jealous. Keep strong and just love yourself. God bless.

Yes this has happened to me as well and the only thing I can say is it is their loss. You have to concentrate on loving and taking care of yourself for the ones that do love you!. I no from going thru this myself that your heart must ache, but I have learned to live with it and my boyfriend died suddenly in a car accident 2 years ago and his family did the same thing because of his mother's dislike for me, now I am totally alone and I have just decided to live for myself and my children and make the best of life and love as much as you can with the people who do care about you! And never go to bed angry and when they leave to go to work or school ect. Always tell them that you love them, because they could be gone in an instant and that it final. I pray for you and your heart though it may be broken it can be fixed. Reesi

Reading ur words i relate.. Its so sad how some people like us grow up feeling constantly like the black sheep of the house. I always felt misunderstood. Unloved enough, ugly, the bad girl, why? Cos my mom made me feel so, or didnt defend me when someone said something negative about me. My dad too, he used to make me feel that he was ashamed from me. I always felt that i was not good enough. That i was different from my siblings, physicaly and the way i think. This effected me alooooot during my childhood and teenage, i used to cry in silence at night cause i couldnt explain to my mom how i felt she would have never understood my feeling. At school it was hard cos she wanted to seperate my friends from me cos the principle lied to her and told her that they wer bad influence on me, so did he say to their parents, and when i tell her he is lying she wouldnt believe me, she never does. She spreads rumors about me and she calls me names, i understand that one somone is angry he say things he doesnt mean, but sometimes it shows when u mean things. When i was just abour 13yrs old she got angry about a ridiculous thing and started chasing me in the house and i ran from her cos she wanted to hit me, then she called me a *****, at just 13 she called me a ***** and i remember feeling like oh my mom thinks im a *****. It made me feel bad, and my dad heard her but did not defend me, he is always negative with me like that and if someone do bad things to me he accuses me of starting the trouble or he says to me to just take it easy.... Now i grew up and am not a teenager anymore, but these little things, keep chasing me, im a cute girl, and people tell me am beautiful, and i know i am, but i just dont believe any compliment because growing up my brother in the presence of my mom told me ur hair is very bad and she laughed about me. I remember i smiled to him in pain and then walked away to lock my self in the bathroom and cried. Today my bro keeps on insulting my physical apperance when in my turn i always gives him compliment because i dont want him to feel less worthy than he is. The most painful part today, is that i get literally heart pain and i start massaging my chest to ease the pain, i have had many stabing from my family lately that now i dont trust none of them anymore. Everytjne they hurt me i feel literaly like a strong stab in my heart, and its so much pain and saddness that i lock myself in my room and cry dramatically. All my siblings dont care as much as i do about my parenta. I spent the last years helping my parents out with their work because they cant do it without help. I neglected myself,my life and at the end of the day my mom tells rumors about me, she said to my brother that i dont help her, and that am lazy...its all lies and it hurts because when u dedicate urself to help someone out, and then he treat u that low. It feels extremely down sad and depressing and heartbreaking. My siblings dont even feel my pain, they treat me like a machine. And my mom never treated me like her daughter. What can i say...if i keep talking ill never stop...

Hi-my fam is toxic too-sooo exhausting-I'm wishing you well-best suggestion is to find a counselor for validation. screw th jerks trying to bring you down_youre better then tht!!

That's so sad! why would your mom go against you for no reason its just wrong! I feel really bad for you =(

My grandmother recently passed away and she and my mother were verry close. They lived together for many years and even vacationed together. This made my mother crazy and unable to be logical. I was the go between with her and my aunt (the trustee) and there was a lot of money at stake. Long story short, all my siblings are doing whatever mom wants for the money and when I disagreed with her, I was written off. I am the oldest and raised my siblings so mom could work. It is such a betrayl and a heartbreak.

I too come from a family where my mother had favorites and she was abusive even to her pets. I have a older sister who thought I was one of my mom's pets, I was just the youngest and at times when I was younger it appeared as though she really looked out for me. However, when i got older and was only child in home she would use mental torture and abuse to control me. I never did anything right. Well now she is dead and my older sisters have taken over her role, they have tried to hold me back from having a life, made fun of anyone that loved me, relish in my failures. Did I mention they molested me and my other younger sister when we were young. I ask why was I put through this. When my mother was dying they tried to keep me from her side because I was the one who took care of her. They made up stories that i used my mother and it was by brother who was using her to pay his child support. I only watched over her and helped her anyway I could when she wasnt attacking me. My older sister has turned all my siblings against me. They needed help and she helped them in order to control them and it has worked. I have no one. I feel for all who experience these injustices and have no one to turn too.

My husband passed away a few years ago. After him a friend from high school
stalked me and my son. My family did not believe me and they turned their backs on me!! They all talk about me behind my backs. I used to get along great with everyone. It has been a nightmare. I don't know how family can turn their backs on you when we need them the most. I meet strangers who are more loving, understanding, and kind than my own family. Thank God my aunt believes in me. But her daughter sides with the others. I don't know why they also made up rumors about me. I'll never understand!

Obviously I have similar problems or I wouldn't be reading this web page. Oddly my mother hasn't completely turned her back on me but I think those of you she has are better off than me. I live in a situation in which my mother goes along as if everything is ok then when I'm vulnerable and least expecting she swoops in and strikes. I don't have the heart to eliminate her from mylife but feel I may have to just to maintain a healthy existence. I'm not a perfect person but the position of mother sure leaves them holding all the cards doesn't it? Never imagined my relationship with anyone in my family could become so rotten. It's just sad really and like all these entries we must carry on. Maybe she resents my position and the power I hold as her son as much as I hate her power over me.

I have a simerler expireance. i am an aussie. I grew up never knowing my dad then when i was sixteen and a half i decided to get in contact with him. it went so well that i decided to go vist him. that went so well. i felt liked for once i belonged to a family and wasnt being treated like a child or baby.as my mother does to this day. then my mother decided to get married to her boyfriend of four years. i decided to come back for that. and once i came back she decided to use her tounge to get me to stay and look for work which i did this caused my father to hate me because i listend to my mothers lies and therw all the help they gave me back into there faces. then last year i decided to go and live with dad again this did not go well as i also have mental health issues. so after my second hospitalisation. they decided it was for the best to lock me up in the house for six weeks. they later reiterated that i could go out if i had a minder with me. then a week before my 18th birthday i went out and something happend which upset me. i went home and dad wanted to try and sort it out for me. which only upset me further. i guess i never really have been able to control my emotions. and my mother played to this. and conviced me it was in my best intrests to come back home. which i did this infureated my step mother whiched caused her to say i am not my fathers son. and im not allowed to talk to him. but i still like i got on with them better then i have ever gotten on with my mother. and had it not been for mums interfering ways i would still be living with dad to this very day i would probly be happy and content then miserable and depressed. even though i suffer from depression i was less depressed when i was with my father. and to this day i still feel like i had a better relationship with m step mother then my own mother. i hope you enjoy reading this

My mother always hated me too, ever since I was born. She excluded me from every family function and never spoke to me, fed me, read to me or paid any attention to me. She never loved me. I have learned to disregard her views. She must have been dropped on her head. What person does not love her own baby and spend their lives caring, nurturing, loving that little baby that grows to be her child that would be a wonderful relationship to cherish. A child is a treasure and when a mother does not treat a child as a dear blessing and treasure, there is something mentally or morally wrong with that mother. This does not make the loss to the child of a mother and the love the child deserves. Maybe it will make it make a little more sense. It is not correctable. That type of mother loves the control drama she creates. The role of a mother is such a powerful position. There is no one that can take the place of the mother and her love and protection. If you, as a child of a morally and emotionally disabled mother, survive this woman, look around and see that you are loved in other ways. You can not replace that mother. No one is going to adopt you. You will have to find meaning and love in other ways and see that you have a perspective of compassion for those who face a life with abuse and without the love they deserve. Become an advocate, spend every day being the best person you can be and work to find peace and love from an eternal and holy place. You will find comfort and peace there.

Nothing makes any true sense for being disowned by family. my hurt is still fresh, only 7 months. I have days of being mad as he**, and ok days, and days of crying. But I can tell you this, if there was ANY reason even a little minor one(reason) they could use to justify themselves, they would latch onto it. You are loved, and there are so many of us that have compassion for you, just keep going on, it will get better...kathy

My twin sister my mother, my other sister who is older, and my nephew have all disowned me. I live in NC they live in CA I still don't know why they have... It doesn't make sense but it has to do with my twin sister losing her 21 yr child daughter a yr ago, she is the catalist for all this.. Made things out more than what they were, has lied to my mother... My mother all my life has listened to her and loved her more, my own mother... My own twin... I'm left with a feeling of complete sadness, confusion and bewilderment. My mother is not all together up stairs in the head straight. She believes anything ever told to her even by strangers, she is the type to listen to Long Island Medium and believe it and buy the enquiror to read. This family out in CA is so disfunctional is the reason I moved to NC because they never came to even visited me and made me out to be a liar when I told the truth on things that happened in the family. My mother has gossiped to family members an d all my life has said bad things to them about me. I don't know why I still care. I should not, I'm a good person I derserve respect and love.

I'm so sorry, I'm with you it sounds a lot like my mother too. Which has disowned me too. How can we go on with this sadness, I'm sad... I don't get how mothers can be so cruel.

When I was two years old my Mother passed away from cancer, she had left behind my older sister and my father and me. My dad went through a lot when I was young to make sure we had food on the table. When things started to look up for him he started to date this women from the daycare I was in. I thought how awesome it would be to have a mother so I loved her right off the bat. Because I was so young I didnt realize how badly my older sister was being treated. My dad had eventually married her and they had gotten pregnant with their own child. Thats when all the tables turned, she had made up with my sister and became bestfriends with her, to this day my sister says she was the issue and it was her fault my step mom acted like that when it wasent, but again now they are bestfriends. When my step mom had my half sister I remember everyone saying "Now you finally have your OWN child". I was really hurt, I thought I was her own child. Shortly after the birth of my half sister my step mom started to really verbally abused me, and punish me by telling me I couldn't go see my grandparents. It got worse and worse and then she became physically abusive towards me. In grade 7, I finally realized what she was doing was wrong so my friend had convinced me to tell someone. I told my teacher and that night I was put into foster care. My dad never believed me and my older sister was mad because I was "ruining" the family. After a couple years in foster care I had moved back in with them, this time she wouldn't hit me because she new she would go to jail, instead she made my life hell and would do secret things, like trip me and walk away and pretend she didn't do it, or steel things from my dad and blame it on me so he would get mad. She even went as far as putting a lock on the pantry door so I couldent eat any food I wanted but my half sister could eat all she wanted. Eventually, children's aid deiced to take me out again. I was so hurt and angry that I was being kicked out again that I tried to take my life. My dad wouldent come see me in the hospital because he was going camping. I talk to my older sister from time to time but we are constantly fighting because she doesn't consider me a family member. My step-mom wont allow me to have any communication with my half sister. My dad would walk right past me if I went downtown and not even try to talk to me, I waited at the same bus stop as him before and he didnt say a word, when I called him out on that once he said he didn't recognize me. I hadent seen them for over 6 years until my sister invited me to her wedding as a random guest. It was like I was sitting in a snow globe watching my whole family, I felt as though I didn't even exist. My dad said hello to me and that was about it. When I had called him once when I needed help and somewhere to stay he told me he had to ask my step-mom who said she wouldn't allow it, so I had to stay on the streets that night. I find it keeps getting worse and worse and this pain of being left out wont ever change. For along time, I blamed myself but have since come to realize I was just a kid. If I was so terrible, I wouldn't have all these people surrounding me telling me they love me. I guess its true what they say, family doesn't have to be biological.

I am 27 now and my mom still treats me badly like how she did since I was so much more younger. As I am all grown up, kinda having this feeling that the magnitude of the problems that she is causing me is rising. When I was 12 she used to beat me up real bad when I dont complete my revision books, that includes grabbing my hair and banging my head to the wall. When I was 8 I got 74% for my Math exam and she caned me real bad. Not enough of that she locked me in a room without food and water and clothes till dark. At that times I always felt that it was all my fault and being a bad daughter. Now she is turning all my siblings against me. I am the eldest and the situation where my 3 younger sisters do not have the slightest respect for me at all is really frustrating. She supports them even though they talk bad about me when I dont go along with their plans and ideas sometimes. I was in a relationship with my boyfriend from a diff religion for the past 7 years and she was totally against it saying that he is a bad guy and just not good for you, but he was such an angel and a medical doctor at the main hosptal in town. I wasnt sure if she never wanted me to be happy living my life ... I am just still clueless. We broke up 2 years back as she was threatening me that she'd hire people to hurt him. Now I just want to be alone, I am unsure if I am just ignoring this unending situation or tired of battling my mom's horrifying plans she had for me. I just wished she'd change and my sisters to be more respectful but I dont see a slightest positive change in anyone. God please help them

I´m 15 and going through a similar stage. My mom hates me and has turned my brother and sister against me and almost all her side of the family against me. I try not to give a **** although it is affecting me, only my dad understands me. Even though she is my mom I have learned something. Give 0 ***** to the people who give 0 ***** to you i try to appreciate my dad all i can and I always call him and talk to him when he is working away. Just get married **** your husband till it hurts and eventually your mother will call.

Even if she was your father´s wife, he needs you to be strong so just continue on you´re too young to be worrying about that. Only I can't feel the same since I am a male.

I'm sorry. I'm going thru the same thing. I have no family, my mom has turned everyone against me. She has passed on and left the family in a mess. I feel your pain and pray to god it will get better for you.

I just came across this site tonight and am deeply touched by some of the posts written. I too have been disowned. Like many of you, I have combed the internet looking for answeres to a situation that never made any sense. But I do know why my parents disowned me. Throughout my entire childhood I was victimised both physically and verbally until I was so beat down in spirit. I was 29 before I found the courage to finally stand up and say "this is wrong!". I confronted my alcoholic mother, who tolerated the abuses my father, and suggested they seek some kind of help before something terrible and irreversible happens. (There is more, but it would take so many complicated writings to explain it all.). The next day, I was told to get out and never come back, with explenatives I cannot write. They proceed to tell me it was all my fault that they were like they were. They also told me how much they hated me and wished they never had me. And because I mentioned that no one should be treated like myself, they asked who the **** did I think I was that I deserved better in life and if they did not want me, no one else would. They have even gone as far as telling relatives that I was bad to them and did things to make them disown me. None of them know what horrible things they did to my siblings and I. One has passed away some time ago. Etc. Its been over 20 years since then or longer and I have since married and had a child they will never see. I have an older sister who was also abused and she still has contact with them. But she is so messed up, she even treats me badly, through no fault of her own, mentally. Long story there. I have been fortunate to find

my husbands family who loves me. But it still hurts not to have your own side of a family in your life. I have since found ways to satisfy my need to give to others, but there is still that empty place. I am a survivor though. Always have been. Its just nice to be able to let it all out and share with others who are or have gone through it. Just know it is NOT your fault. I wish you with all sincerity, the happiness and peace you deserve. Thank you.

if youare in love the hell with family sounds like they would be a problem



any way and it tis there loss



how is his family for support in our love for each other

Hello everyone, I am very deaf. I grew up in hearing family. My mom did not accept my deafness.. she placed me into different family like grandparents, aunts. I ve tried to building better relationship with my mom but she ignored and neglect me all the time.. when there is a party.. She is always embrassed bec of I am deaf in this family.. they left me out all the time I always be lonely for long long time. I believe it cause me to have depression all the times..

My mom hurt me so much with all of my life. One Day I wrote a long long letter to my mom. I guess It made her guilty what she did it to me.

I m in deep love her so much but I don't understand why She disowned me for what??? maybe if it is my deafness ???? when her friends asked my mom about my deafness She don't want to talk about that.. She thinks that It is her fault to cause me deaf.. It is not TRUE.. I already Know that God did gave her a special child like me. She always blame me for what i did not doing wrong She thinks that I always cause the problems at home.. It is not TRUE.

I finished school at ILLINOIS SCHOOL FOR THE DEAF.. I was succesful to learn lot about the world and how to learn with independent living I did always visited my mom most of times til my second marriage did hurt us so much.. and I did thank her to took care of my precious hearing children.



When my hearing children grow up as adults. One of my daughter was very exciting to bring her son It was my mom's first great grandson. but She don't want to see it and It hurt my daughter's feelings and she blew it up on my mom little later on my sister heard them and my sister hitted my daughter so badly I feel that my mom torned up the family



I pray to God all the time I hope that my mom and I could be reunite again. but nothing work It is hurting my feelings.. It make me so depressing everyday .. I feel like that I lost my mom ? I don't know if it is my fault or her fault ???



I have seen hearing parents with deaf children have a good life.. It made me feel bad.. why not my mom can be likely their hearing parent with deaf children.



I am so proud of my daughters who learned sign languagues to communicate with me everyday. I guess my mom might be jealous I don't know to do..



Last 2 months ago I heard that my mom was in hospital and it was very serious. She was in ICU it worried me so much and my mom and sister won't tell me the whole story what happen to herI feel like that they ignore me and I just found out that my mother and her 4th husband DENNIS told my aunt (my mother's sister) that they wanted me out of their life.. they thinks that I have temper tantrums, dramas. and etc.. I don't think so.. bec I can't hear what is going on.. I know It is not true.. because I feel that they won't tell me what is going on It is real hurt my feeling



I pray to God everyday to forgive my mother and sister to forgive them for hurtig me so much



I m looking for a good bible verse that God wants the hearing parents treat the deaf children properly.



I m very griefing so much



thank you

strawberryblondie..



please respond me as you can GOD BLESS YOU ALL..

it is true. I remember when I held my first grandchild, I decided there and then, My family begins with me, and is now 3 generations.

Needles to say with the stories on here, it is lways the same play, only the actors playing the role change over the years.

My story is similar, I hope you dont have to wait until 50 for closure like I did. Bessings to you.

you just have to stay strong and build your own family, eventually that will continue and be what is important while your previous "family" will eventually fade away. It will take time and you will have moments of hurt, just roll with it and stay strong.