My Story

I was never a bad child and always did well in school, but after I broke up with my first boyfriend in high school, I started getting depressed and did things that I didn't normally do.  I was lying to my parents, drinking, smoking pot, and meeting up with men online.  I felt like I had nothing to live for and no one cared what happened to me.  My bio dad didn't call me or attempt to see me, my boyfriend broke up with me because he didn't know how to deal with my emotional problems, and my step dad  and mother were not easy to talk to.   I started talking to a 32 year old man on line when I was 16.  He was from California, recently divorced, and had 2 kids.  After talking to him for a few months, I thought I started to have feelings for him.  Of course, now I know it was because at the time, I was looking for a father figure.  We started sending pictures to each other and talking on the phone everyday.  One day, my mother found those pictures I sent to him, and some were not very modest.  My parents were understandably furious with me when they found out who I was sending these to and especially how old he was.  Not knowing what to do, I called my bio dad and asked if I could stay the weekend with him until my parents calmed down.  The next day, my parents didn't say one word to me before going to school.  When I returned from school, I found all of my things in the garage in trash bags and my mom just sitting there crying not saying a word to me.  My stepmother drove up to the house to pick me up and we started to load up the car with my things.  I tried to tell my mom that I was sorry and that I wouldn't do it again but, it was as if she wasn't even hearing what I was saying.  Then my step dad came out and said,"Just remember, you can never come back."  Then I left to start my new life living with my bio dad.  It was only temporary because a few months later, the man I met on line had sent money to me to get my own apt.  I moved to an apt. complex that was a few blocks away from my parents' house.  Even then, they wouldn't talk to me or come to see me.  I believe once or twice my mother sneaked off and was able to see me for a few minutes and then said she had to get back because my step dad didn't know she was there.  My family didn't want anything to do with me after what happened.  To this day, my parents deny having kicked me out because maybe they feel guilty for what happened.  I wish so much that they had reacted differently and kept me at home and had me cut off communication with this man or taken my computer and cell.  It hurts and still hurts to think that if that never happened I would have a family that I so desperately need right now. 
tink1984 tink1984
26-30, F
4 Responses Aug 10, 2010

Thanks for all the support! I appreciate all the feedback. I feels really good to just write about it.

Your stepfather may have had a hidden agenda and your mother was just too weak to stop or stand up to him. As long as you aren't welcome in their lives you need to re-group and build your self back up. Stay strong, times will be tough but their is also happiness ahead... realize family aren't the end all be all, especially when they are abusive and ignorant.<br />
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Stay strong.

What a bad, and often, response from those you trust - family.<br />
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It sounds like you are getting strnger, I may it continue!<br />
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I wish you well and hope youhave found a good support network to help you through Life.<br />
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Take care.

WOW that is incredibly sad just try too think of it as a new start you have independence so you can experience the things you didnt before, just try to have fun, thats what is important in life... And i place the blame on your family, they should have helped you through that difficult time, if you need any advice just ask :)