Disowned By My Son's

L ong stoy short. My two sons have new wives and the new wives wont me out of the picture. They are winning. I was a great mother. I was there for them I fought there battels when they were little. Now I am being cast to the wolves. So many lies have been started about me and my son's have had to choose and they made there choice. I don't won't to be there lives I just won't to be a part of there lives. I am havign a hard time accepting they cant talk to me anymore. They say it always ends in a fight. They wont me to change for there wives sake. I am who I am I tried for several years to be what there wives wont and I still couldn't do anything right. I jumped when they said to I crawled when they said to I begged when my sons wonted me to. I even took blame where I didn't do anything wrong and I still have been turned on. Now I am not allowed to go to there family functions. The wives are best friends by the way. The family is choosing sides and its mine they are on. My sons only have there new wives family and each other, no one else. That isn't the way they were brought up. Family was first and formost. By the way during all this (a span of 8 months) my husband lost his mother (my mother-in-law of 21 years, whom I loved dearly), my best friend of a sudden stroke, audit by the IRS, my cat peed on my computer and I lost all my booking for a year, a warrent was issued for my arrest due to a guarantee that the booking could be recovered but wasnt, the bank messed up and sent the stop payment check back as an NSF and since the NSF was for more than $1500.00 that made it a fellany and I was looking at federal prision time. I have to file bankrupsy due to an old credit card debt, my father found an anurisum in the back of his head and had to have surgery, the dr. botched up the surgery and I had to diconect my father from life support and watch him dye. All this was going on and my boys couldn't and still haven't given me the time of day. They say it is too much trouble to put up with the stuff they have to put up with at there houses. One of my sond has had to move to Louisania that where his wife is from and the other wonts to follow to be by her best friend. My oldest has anounced that they are expecting and I got in trouble because I didn't receprecate fast enough. Like my cup wasn't overflowing on its own. I cna't win for loosing, and its letteraly breaking me up inside. My dr. has found stress problems with my heart now.  Sorry about that long story short thing.
NewClub NewClub
41-45, F
4 Responses May 28, 2007

I felt so sad when I read what is also happening to you. it is so hard. sons wives not allowing their sons to continue loving them are the worst people. I wish I could help them understand, too, the lifetime hurt they are causing me. I have had to move on, but when I completely let go they always find a need I can fill for them and I have a brief interaction until the need is fulfilled.<br />
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It is time for me to move on and get on with my life. I need to just do what I need to do now which is write or paint. I could write a gripping novel about my life and I am a watercolorist so in between writing I could paint, I just have to get myself back in the saddle and do it. <br />
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If it helps you at all to know that you are not alone, I would like you to know that when I read that you were going through what I am I didn't feel so much alone. They seem to hurt me more when they know how needy I really am. Sad, but true. I also can't understand how people can hurt and cheat others out of what is rightfully theirs. I was also a good mother, not perfect, but I did 95% of my parenting right.<br />
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I have a saying I picked up along the way, "There are no perfect children or perfect parents", we just need to do what is right because it is the right thing to do, and do it with love.<br />
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Take care of yourself and I will, too!

I am sorry to hear about your situation. I too have been in a similar situation for 8 years. I lost one son when he became involved with a manipulative women. <br />
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Noone understands the ANGUISH that I know you feel. If these people causing this grief could feel Anguish for just one day themselves, they would think twice before inflicting this feeling on anyone.<br />
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There are many Nasty people in this world...if you have time....look at.... i hate my mother in law....stories on this website. There all almost 500 stories.<br />
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May God bless...if u need to talk...feel free to contact me.

It sounds like your dealing with a lot right now. my mother has 8 kids and all except for 3 of us treat my mother wrong. It hurts me deeply to see my older brothers and sisters acting the way they do toward her and it's not uncommon for me to argue with them about it. the 1st comment has a point sometimes you have to let family go as much as you would hate to do that but they are not helping you any their just making things worse. My heart goes out to you and I hope you find happiness in your life again.

The first commenter has a point. You have a lot on your plate right now. You can't change how your sons and their wives feel but you can change how you react to that. Sometimes you have to just let family go. Not stop loving them but them go, let go of the issues that are dividing all of you, and take care of yourself. Hopefully in time they will come around and be willing to talk reasonably about it. But right now all of this is affecting your health and that's not good. Your sons are grown men now and they can make their own decisions. They also have to accept the consequences of their decisions.<br />
Take care of YOU right now and stop worrying about your sons. Either they will come around or they won't but worrying isn't going to do anything but stress you out more.