How to Get Over Being Dumped!!

(note to my friends...thank you for your sweet concern, but no, I'm not writing this because I've been dumped.  Just trying to write a helpful article, that's all.)

Oh, nearly everyone has been dumped at some time.  Yes, yes, it sucks.  But it is NOT the end of the world!!  Let's get our best "get over him/her" advice all together here.  If you comment on it with advice, I'll edit my original post to include it and make a killer, get your life back together list.

1.  So this is my favorite, and one that has really worked for me:  Make a list of everything that you didn't like about them.  Some of the best things to include are the little disgusting things that make us human - belching, farting, snot, etc.  Include specific things that they said to you that made you angry or sad.  If it was an "out of nowhere" breakup, that's the biggest one - what a jerk!!!  Take a less attractive attribute and magnify it.  Make the list as big as you can, keep that list handy and when you feel sad, take it out and dwell on it.  Change your brain.  This person was stupid enough to dump YOU and is not worth the time or effort to miss.

2.  Don't call.  Don't text.  Don't email.  EVER.  Just don't do it.  It's over, it's done, it's pathetic to try to stay in contact with the person who dumped you.  And you're NOT pathetic!!!  The person knows perfectly well how to contact you and if they want to, they will.  At which time you will hopefully tell them to take a hike.

3.  Write it out in a journal, or share here on EP.  All the things you want to write, text, and email can be shared here just as easily with people who understand your situation and didn't dump you.  If your ex happens to be on EP too, make a private blog, a new ID, or confess anonymously.

4.  Lightly flirt with someone else.  This usually takes some time to get to, and is not an activity to be persuing the minute you break up, but the old adage "the best way to get over an old love is a new love" can be quite true.

5.  Exercise, exercise, exercise.  Love stimulates a particular area of the brain that the endorphins from exercise will stimulate as well.  Something aerobic for a half hour, like a walk, job, bike ride....that's the best kind.

6.  When you feel better as you'll periodically do, write that down somewhere to remind you that the pain WILL go away sometimes...and as the days go by, it will go away for longer and longer periods of time. 

7.  Know that YOU can entirely control how you feel about this person.  You can decide not to love anymore, it is NOT beyond your control; it's not fate.  It is entirely your perception.  This is very difficult for the more dramatic person to understand...you want to believe that this was your one true love and you might even like the suffering.  It's your choice.  You CAN suffer, or you can just stop.

 8.  As REM says, "everybody hurts sometime...take comfort in your friends".  Talk with your friends and/or family about it.

DiscoveryChick DiscoveryChick
41-45, F
4 Responses Mar 22, 2009

THANK YOU for this. I actually wrote a post on one of your tips: <a href="http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Have-A-Broken-Heart/1675942" target="ep_blank">EP Link</a><br />
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Please, feel free to take a peek.<br />
Thanks again :D

The one that helped me the most was also your tip #1, like FallFlower

Awesome!! ... I felt really good reading it :) .. Thank u very much :)

Best advice! So incredibly perceptive. I love number 1 too and have done that. Number 7...you can try to bang that one into me but it will probably not ever sink in.

You are definitely a keeper, only a fool would let you go!!!