It's Not What You Think!

This happened a few years ago, when I was 14. My friend Jill and I went to a football game in Austin. During half time we went to the bathroom but every stall was occupied except the handicap and there were like 40 women waiting. So Jill and I squeezed into the handicap stall. After a lot of giggling and loud Dont Looks! we finnaly got down to business. Then all the sudden this women started banging on the door saying, "Lesbianism isn't a handicap, it's a sin! Your gonna burn in Hell!"

Well gee, lady. Thanks for saying that so loud!

God I was so ******* embarrassed! At that time, I thought girls being attracted to other girls was weird and gross. I definitly don't feel that way now, but I the thought of being anything but normal and **** crazy mortified me. So when Jill and I came outof that stall, I seriously thought my face was gonna burn off. We stopped at the sinks to wash our hands. There was that gross powdery white soap that felt like sand and smelled like peed-on baby powder. A woman was standing next to me. She looked kind of like those women you see in the mall with six screamining kids hanging off her clothes. She smiled at me. She leaned in close and told me that there were worse places to **** your girlfriend than in a bathroom. I almost **** my pants! All those women thought Jill and I were having sex?!! Holy ******* ****! Then she leaned over and kissed me. Nothing grotesque, just a little peck on the lips. Still, though.

You know, they say a dog's mouth is cleaner than a human's. My dog eats his own crap so... Just work that through your brain the next time you're thinking about playing tongue twister with that cute brunette with the shiny pearly

Now, I'm actually kind of glad it happened. If it hadn't, I wouldn't have gotten any of those interesting ideas to help liven up boring Friday night sleepover. I would have missed out on a lot. But right then, with everyone staring at me and smirking at me, all I wanted to do was melt into a puddle. Of course, Jill thought it was just soooo funny. Aghhh, I could have killed her. Turns out she had some ideas of her own.
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1 Response Mar 13, 2010

I had a dog when I was little named Alex. He was the perfect male Italian Greyhound except for one thing he started doing. He ate his own feces. Blargh, it was so gross. And then he tried to lick you. Double Blargh!