Do You Feel The Same Way?

I'm only 14 but I can tell you i have been emotionally abused since i was a child by three different people. (all "mother" figures.) And I have already noticed an effect..."Severe social anxiety." I'm terrified that when I get older and have children of my own I will do the same thing to them as was done to me. Whenever I get mad at myself i say the things that have been said to me from the abusers and when I get mad at other people I feel like I want to say the same things to them(I haven't done so yet but I'm afraid one day I'll snap and end up doing something I'll regret.) I also have a lot of hate for the people who have done this to me and i feel like i shouldnt be putting blame on them, especially for the anxiety. like maybe for some reason it's my fault that this has happened to me. I could go on with this story forever but I'll stop here for now, has this happened to anyone else? does anyone else know where im coming from?
Catcatkelly295 Catcatkelly295
13-15, F
4 Responses Jan 19, 2013

go to a therapist. It might help for you to get some things off your chest :) I know exactly what your talking about and I'm living with it too. I literally turned 14 two days ago. talk to me whenever :)

I feel the same way.
It's not your fault, remember that, okay? I send you my love and support

I know how you feel, I'm 17 and going threw the same thought process as you right now. The first thing I did that helped was I got an empty journal and started writing my thoughts down on paper. Everything got clearer and a little bit easier to understand, it was a place I could safely vent my anger and tears without exploding at someone. I carry it around in my school bag so that my family won't find it, when a friend or someone asks what it is I tell them it just a book for writing school assessment dates and stuff in.
If you ever need someone to talk to, give me a message I'm willing to listen.

I know where you're coming from. I was emotionally abused by my father, who also abused my mother. I still have a lot of issues with men in general when it comes to trust. It isn't your fault.