Emotionally Abused By My Mother, Physically Abused By My Sister

My freshman year of high school everything started going downhill! My sister kicked down a door in our house, because my mother locked the door to keep my sister off the computer! She then claimed I helped her do it when my mother came home! My sister threw me around, hit me, attacked, threw me down the stairs, strangled me, etc. All I had to fight back with was my cursing her out and occasionally I threw a phone at her! She was in control of the house, because my father left and my mother was afraid of her! I told my mother what she did to me but she did not take it seriously! My sister's friends and mine saw her as a great person because she put on this show! One day at school, my sister was picking me up from band practice and I was upset because I was 10 minutes late, so she came in to find me. My friends saw her for who she really was that day, when she threw me up against the wall and clenched my throat outside the band room. Teachers didn't do anything. My dad didn't take it seriously either, because at some point throughout this long story I asked him if I could live with him but he said no. My mother and sister were exactly alike, therefore they fought constantly! It eventually became violent! She was constantly tested for drugs and accused of drinking. My sister left the house after her senior year of high school (my sophomore year) She came back though! My mother asked me whether I thought she should be allowed back at home, it was up to me. And I said yes, I miss her. Then she left for college.  My mother started picking fights with me over nothing. I had a boyfriend for about 9 months at this point. He grew up in the church of jesus christ of LDS (mormon). I was not involved in any church, but I wanted to learn more about his church. My mom was kind of anti- religion. She wouldn't let me go to church, she would make up excuses why I needed to stay home Sundays. The more serious our relationship got the more times I seemed to get grounded. My mom would wake me up at 3 AM sometimes because she was drunk and thought it was funny and other times I would wake to her screaming at me to do chores because they were never done the way she wanted them (and I'm a perfectionist). She said I was the reason she drank so much. Sometimes it was supposedly  because I drove her crazy but most of the time because I drank all the sodas and beer was the only thing she could count on me not drinking. I worked at Bob Evans for a long time. I was just a hostess, but they wanted me to start waitressing if I was interested. I told my mom because I was excited about it, and she told me I was stupid and that the job is not important like school. And she told me that I was going to make an excellent trailer wife! I wanted to go to Berklee School of Arts in Massachusetts for music education (I play flute) but my mom flat out said I wasn't good enough and not to even apply! My mom was too busy with her boyfriends and drug/ alcohol addiction to make time for me! She did once guilt me into calling off plans with my boyfriend to 'hang out', so I did, disappointed to find out she wanted to clean the basement! We had a chocolate lab (dog) that my mom's bf got her for Christmas that no one except me took care of. He peed and crapped everywhere all the time and I always willingly cleaned it up. I had to drop everything to clean at that moment otherwise she told my dad I was being defiant. My sister asked me to dump my boyfriend so she could set me up with someone better. My mom used my dad for housework and money, but behind his back she said things about him that were definitely not true. Things like she was raped by a male nurse in the hospital when I was born and my dad told her to keep her mouth shut because he could lose his job (because he worked at the hospital as a computer analyst). Another one was my dad had sex with a man and gave her an STD! My mom also accused me of going to the movies with my boyfriend so I could give him a BJ! My mom's alcoholism spiraled! She left home for days and sometimes weeks without calling us. Then she would return and pretend nothing happened! One of the times she called her boyfriend and said she was taking a bunch of pills to end it! She would leave the house in the middle of the night with a coffee mug full of beer! This is after already drinking at least a 6 pack within a few hours! I worried, I had panic attacks all the time! She spiked my drinks all the time! I had to watch what I consumed! My boyfriend bought a To Go phone for me for my birthday! My mom spun it to mean that it was for bootie calls, and my dad got furious! It was only to keep my parents phone bill down and it came with texting which my parents refused to pay for on their plan! I didn't even have a car so how could I bootie call him? My dad never got a chance to know my boyfriend (now my husband: Wes) and just went by all the awful things my mom and sister said about him! My mom went crazy! I would have Wes over to the house and I would be finishing my homework, give Wes a kiss and get back to homework...but all she saw was 'I was all over him, he needs to go home' . There was no point in arguing because she was always right! My sister checked up on my myspace/ facebook profile to monitor me! One time I changed my last name to be my profile name and she passed the message along and I got in tons of trouble! I never changed it back though! My mom told me her philosophy 'Men are like cars, you gotta test drive them before you buy'. She knew how Wes felt about sex before marriage. We did have sex before marriage but we waited a long time. I figured she would want me to talk to her about it, which is why she seemed so cool about it. When I told her she seemed okay with it at the time, but it was only about a day later when she started using it against me. And my sister did too! My mom found a bloody nasty t-shirt in the couch and I got blamed for it because I was sexually active!  It was my sister! I never did anything in my mom's house! My mom wouldn't let me go out to see my dad ever! She called the cops on him before when he took me to Wendy's for dinner! Going to school was the highlight of my day! I would find excuses to stay late! 
Senior year of high school I was doing great in school, I loved my boyfriend and had great friends! One of my friends (Tasha) moved away my junior year, but she came back to live with me and finish her senior year! She didn't get along with my mom at all! My mom verbally attacked her many times! If she hadn't lived with us I would have left sooner! My mom wouldn't let me go on a really important marching band competition because I didn't finish my chores until 11 o'clock the night before! She told me last minute, and sent Tasha off with my sister to the competition! My mom took my phone! The band director knew something was up and tried to call me but got my mom. He yelled at her, which she deserved, and she wanted sympathy! The band and choir director were the only real parents I felt I had! I told them everything about everything! They encouraged me to do all I can! Tasha ended up moving half way through the semester because she was getting the brunt of my mom's behavior! I was sorry to see her go but I needed to leave! My mom seemed not as bad for a while! Not long enough! She threw my laptop, leaving it unusable! And she smashed my cell phone with a hammer!
I was taking birth control because I wanted to, but they were making me sick! I had changed medicines many times and decided to stop taking them. I finished off the doses. My mom asked about filling my prescription and I said I didn't need to but she questioned me. That lead to me not being permitted to see Wes until I start taking them. Wes and I had been on a gazillion 'breaks' by my mom by then. This one was the last straw! The fight went from ' You *****' to 'Get out!' I didn't leave! Because I wanted to sleep on it! After school the next day, I went home and packed up bags! I went to a friend's house until Wes was done with work. I went to live with Wes and his family. I was looking forward to it! I had my own room there too. At about 1 AM the police showed up and asked for me, my parents told them Wes kidnapped me! The cops made me leave with them, because my mom told them I said in the fight the previous night that I made a suicide pact with Wes! BTW, my mom was a counselor for battered women! Ironic, I know. So I had never even heard of a suicide pact before that. This was 2 weeks, if that, before graduation, keep in mind! I didn't understand my options. I was tired and upset. I thought it was either go into psych ward or go back to my mom's house. That's what the lawyer told me anyway! I didn't realize I could choose where I went! I committed myself because it seemed better! No one understood!!! The doctors said I wouldn't be in the psych ward if I didn't need to be so my mother isn't really what I say! I got screwed over big time! I left after a week and stayed with my dad. I wasn't allowed to see my friends, use the computer, call anyone for months. I couldn't sit around as a prisoner...I was almost 19! My mom called in the middle of the night to tell me she was giving BJs to black guys in Pittsburgh for money to get me a better psychiatrist! I had school in the fall and summer all-state band! I called off work for a couple weeks, because if I left my mom would harass me! I told my dad I had to work, came home early(to my dad's), wrote a note (which I forgot to leave), and snuck out the window with my things! I stayed at a shelter, the only one in my area, which was the one my mom worked at. I was exempt from seeing the abuse therapist because 1. she was my mother, 2. she was the abuser. I made sure I was in or out of the shelter at certain times as to avoid her (and my sister).
My sister worked at the front desk. Rarely. I haven't talked to my mother since July 4, 2008. She has stopped in to Bob Evans to bug me even when I'm not there, but I treat her just like any other customer. I no longer work. Wes and I were married October 17, 2008! We had a daughter November 24, 2009. She will never see her grandmother! 
sunefire11 sunefire11
Jul 14, 2010