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My 13 Year Old Son Was Falsely Accused Of Sexual Assault On A Minor

oct. 9th, 2010. We spent the evening at our friends house and had dinner and made cookies. This was not unusual for us to be at one anothers house at least once a month and most months, more than once. My husband and I are 47 and 43 with 3 sons: ages 15, 13 and 12 at the time. My friends kids were a 4yr. old girl (turning 5 in Nov.) and my godson, who had just turned 2. Mom (32, Dad 30) was also pregnant with baby #3 due in Dec. My youngest was not there that night. 13 yr. old LOVED the babies. Not just these babies. ALL babies. Whenever we were anywhere with little cousins, little siblings, whatever, he's always the one to say he'll watch them, play with them, sit at thier table, etc. We got home after the 30 min. drive home and I get a call from the Mom stating that her daughter has said that my 13 yr. has "touched" her on her privates. I ask my son, he says of course no, and goes to bed crying not knowing why she said that. A year later, and sticking with the same story that nothing happened that night, we finally have a hearing on the 18th of Octoer at which our lawyer is going to ask to have the charges dismissed. The printed evidence statements from the 4yr. old are all over the place..."they live in a pink house. you have to take an airplane to get to our house. It happened in 6 different rooms in the house and that it had happened over ten times". Her stement ends with her claiming that my son is 17 years old and lives next door.  They have a 17 year old boy who lives next door and they have neighborhood and block parties all of the time. But my son is the one being charged with this. Wrongly. He has never changed his story. Has offered to take a ploygraph. And in fact the detective who interviewed my son, put in the report that he didn't the accused understood the severity of what he was accused of becasue he was so calm though the inerview. Well, duh. he was calm becasue he didn't do it. I was the one crying b/c I couldn't believe my son was being put thru this.! I've gained 20 this past year, I chew my nails now and I don't care if I work out or not. My husband is angry at everyone and everything all of thime and my  poor son just can't believe he's been accused of this. My other two sons have paid the price tooo. I lost my best friend in this but more than that my son will pay for most of his life questioning everything he ever does. there is a ton more to this stroy regarding emotions, the father of the "victim", how this is handled at school while my son is on bond, who we have told and all of the changes in our lives since that night. And the anger. Oh, the anger. If you want to comment on this or add to it or ask any questions. please feel free. I need support. My son needs support. He'll be in counseling when it's done. this has truly taken this past year from us.
supersadmom supersadmom 41-45 50 Responses Oct 11, 2011

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Hello supersadmom (sorry you're sad), I am in a similar situation with my 10 yr old son. I'm glad I found this because I want to know how I can fight back for false accusations. About two months ago I was staying with my sister for a few months. My son, maltese poodle and myself. We slept in her living room. She has a 13 y.o. autistic daughter. They were left in the house for about two hours while I picked her up from work. I called a few times to check on them and as usual, he was playing his video game and she was on the computer. On our way back after picking my sis up from work I called to ask what type of sandwich they wanted from subway. He answered and put the phone on speaker and they both gave what they wanted. Once we got back we all ate together. My son finished playing his game and my niece went in her room to play on her phone and watch tv. We all said goodnight and went to bed around 10:30. At 5:30a.m. my sister called me into her room as her daughter was sitting on the toilet saying my son showed her his "urinal" and he put them in her mouth (sorry for the detail). I was astonished! I then woke up my son and brought him into the room to ask what happened. He was confused about what she was saying but once we explained he said "that's disgusting" and he would never do anything like that to his cousin. I assumed she had a dream from maybe watching something yesterday on the net because this wasn't brought up the night before. son has NEVER been accused of such behavior and none of our friends or family have accused him of playing in such a way. He isn't into girls like that and is still shy about his private parts when he gets out the shower. We all went on vacation several times before, had several sleep overs, and they been alone before and it's not until now that he's being accused of such behavior. Unfortunately, she's sticking by her daughter and I'm sticking by my son. I have took my son to the police station and threatened him with jail if he didn't tell the truth. His story is the same, so is his demeanor, and he still wanted to live there after she threw us out. My sister and I was very close and it love her dearly. But after asking her and suggesting we get a therapist or counselor involved she told me that we will never get past it and told us to leave immediately. ANY suggestions on what I should do because this is causing major depression because my son and I are staying at a hotel. Thanks in advance.

Fake you spell almost spell everything wrong

I haven't spelled anything wrong. And my story is 100% true that my son went through. Go troll on some other site. you have nothing of value to add here. Everyone on here is in pain which no one can describe.

This is currently happening to my 13 year old. My neighbor's 5 year old daughter claimed at first that my son showed himself to her and then asked her to pull down her pants and show herself to him. The mom came and talked to my husband to tell him what happened and mentioned that one of her cousins had done the same thing to their daughter. They waited three weeks then reported the incident. Not sure that they ever reported the incident with the cousin. But now they are saying he touched her and possibly raped her.

The DSS worker acts like he thinks my son is guilty already and has been talking about how we can get him help (going in 5 days to the doctor to get a counselor referral and to see a lawyer). It seems like the CAC and many therapists around here think that my son being modest and the fact that my 3 year-old grandson loves to play with him are signs that my son has been abused and that he has molested my grandson. Really!? I have found no research to support this; quite the contrary.

have you had any resolution to your case?

Not yet. Our court date for discovery keeps getting postponed, but our lawyer says they do not have much of a case. Interviews are missing from my son's file; just the ones that support what my son says happened (I have a recording of the detective reading us one of the reports missing from the file as I was afraid she would manipulate something my son said in her interview with him so I recorded it). The girl's interview with the CAC failed to record audio. The DA says if we push this to go to court instead of taking a plea, she will push for my son to be tried as an adult and she will go for life in jail without parole. Three therapists (including the one used by the courts that did a sex offender assessment) say my son shows no sign he is capable of doing what he is accused of. Our last court date was a week ago, but the DA's assistant who is handling our case did not show up so it was postponed again for two more weeks. Yippee; another day off of work without pay.

Hang in there. Ours went on for 1 1/2 years. And yes, court dates couldn't be set because the detective was on vacation, the judge was on vacation the next week, it was Christmas the next week...etc. then they "lost" the results of our polygraph. O my god. On and on. And all this time, my son was not allowed to go to school. Wow. I'm so sorry. Let me know if anything happens.

Next court date June 12. The DA threatened to push to have my son tried as an adult and go for life without parole if he plead innocent. Our lawyer encouraged us to take an Alford plea as the DA said she would accept it and just recommend therapy. We did and now I regret it because the detective is pushing to find something else to add so that the DA/judge will go for more than therapy. I am so scared. I have read so many nightmares. What is wrong with our country that we allow this to happen??? Our son is a good kid. Never in trouble before this. Earned the Good Citizen award at school three years in a row. I don't even know how to begin to help change our system. Just praying we still have the same judge for next court date. He was a former defense attorney whereas the other judge is a former DA. Not to say the former DA is biased, but not wanting to take the chance.

Supersadmom- how did yours turn out?

I read down farther and now see the results for your son. At least a small positive for you and your family.

Keep me posted. Everyone on here is in my prayers. My son still flips off police officers as he drives by as well as the courthouse where it all went down. I try to act like I don't see it, to set a good example, but clearly a part of me has died inside. None of my kids will ever work for the govt, be a lawyer, cop, firefighter, etc. Not that there aren't other career opportunities out there of course, but the hate inside him makes me sad.

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My son is being accused right now of kissing my 4 year old daughters private which my x husband is telling her this to gain custody! It's sick and down right nasty! Cys closed this case and found it not to b true and so once again I have to live through this nightmare because he just called 6 months later n did it again!

I'm so sorry. I don't even know what to say. the pain is beyond belief because it is so out of our hands. we can't protect our babies...

Ty I'm not sure what's going to happen my son told cys that he is in a situation that he can't do anything about it just pray :)

have you had a resolution to your case?

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This happened to me when I just turned 14 years-old. I was accused of doing this to my own niece; she was 4 years-old at the time. My sister's mother-in-law accused me, and it was found to be untrue, after my poor niece had to go through many physical examinations and asked many questions. I was distraught, I felt like my life was over, I was starting high school, and I was dealing with my own sexuality (I am gay, and I have known I was gay since I was 9 years-old. I am now a school teacher, and I am engaged. Here is the thing: at 15 years-old I started drinking and smoking. Then, started the drug use at the end of high school and a lot during college! Twenty-five years later, and I am still coping with this; I will be leaving this summer for a rehab program. My sincere advice is to get your son some therapy NOW!! Being told at 13 or 14 years-old that you did nothing wrong is NOT enough. I am sure my accuser was trying to protect someone in her own family; she has six children (one of the deceased from drugs), and they are all screwed in the head one way or another! During rehab, I plan to get over this and start a new drug-free life, and get all of the anger and sadness out of me! My parents should have gotten me counseling when it happened...but they did not. So, please get your son some help NOW, so he is not carrying it around for the rest of his life and ends up like me, who wasted so many years trying to mask his pain by abusing substances. I am so sorry this happened to your son and family; I can empathize with all of you! Much love to you and your son and the rest of your family! xo <3

I am so sorry to hear about what your son and family r going through my prayers go out for you and really hope for the best to come for all of you. Take care of yourself and try to walk a lot and try the green juice diet.

I realize this is old now. But my grandson is going through this now. A neighborhood dispute ended with a false allegation out of anger and retaliation against my 12 year old grandson. I believe you are in Denver. Was it by chance Douglas County? Thank you

Yes it was Douglas county. Good luck and hang in there for a long, unbelievable ride. I wish I had better words to say, but the worst thing in the world is to your child is innocent, and to hear the word victim used. My son was the victim of Douglas county inept ability to handle this.

Thank you. It is ridiculous that they can't get in front of the DA for months. My grandson missed school yesterday worrying about the polygraph. I would be too. I cannot believe a 12 year old is subjected to that. I sure hope the attorney does his job. We can't sleep and thinking of the worst.

I won't keep bothering you but I meant to say the girl's mother was NOT concerned abut her daughter playing with the kids at my son's house for four months after it happened. That should look suspicious that she is just mad. Can you fill me in on the polygraph and how your son handled it? Could you or attorney be there? And why two? Thanks so much!

So no, no one else can be in with them. My son passed the first one with flying colors. But then 2 months later the DAdecided it needed to be with a tester of THEIR choosing. It was like going to an FBI office. So intimidating and scary. And again passed with flying colors. Bc he didn't do it. Then he had to take these safe touching classes. It never seemed to end.

Thank you again. You have been very helpful.

has anything happened with your grandson's case?

Yes thank you for asking. He is finally in diversion as of last month. He has the last meeting with the diversion counselor next month and then done. Ironically it was a year ago that this started. The rigid rules in Douglas County are out of line with the offense. Two children were barely touching each other out of curiosity. But because the mother got mad at my DIL she lied and was believed. Three children paid the price because of a bitter angry woman. My granddaughter lost her best friend. But we are glad that she won't ever be in that house again. The good news is my grandchildren are closer and we all now know what these people are really like. All the neighbors on their street stay away from them now. Once my granddaughter gets to a new school next year the girls will no longer see each other. Interesting that the two girls acted like nothing happened and still laugh getting off the bus. This all sounds like they live in a high risk area. But actually it's a classy neighborhood. You just never know who lives down the street. Too bad our boys had to learn hard lessons do young. I hope it will help them to be smart as they mature. Thank you again. Hope your son is thriving and happy. -D

Did you ever gave contact with your friend after this? My daughter-in-law wants to write this mother a letter letting her know she is relieved to know them know and that her daughter will never be around them again as terrible examples She wants to let her know how disappointed she is and how she should be ashamed She was going to ask the attorney first. But I told her to let it go and be thankful it's over. It's hard to do.

Have contact. I hope karma does what it should.

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i am going through the same thing my 12yr old son has accused of touching a 7 yr old girl she said my son has been fingering her but the doctors found nothing but they are still pressing charges i am so scared we have court soon i have lost so much weight i just hope and pray and the worst thing is the little girls mom is spreading rumors and ppl calling me cursing me off im going out of y mind

Do you know the statistics on what the chances are to win the case? We're in a similar situation, 13 year old boy accused of touching his 4 year old stepsister. I believe him in that he didn't do it. I'm just wondering if we even have any chances of winning and having charges dismissed or found not true. The lawyer bills are stacking up.

I don't know the statistics, but I do know that the "victim" is the one most usually believed. not matter the proof or lack of. this ended up costing us almost $20,000. I thank God it turned out the way it did, but it was 1 1/2 years of painful and scary waiting for my son and our family. and the other family just gets to go along like everything is fine and normal and it cost them nothing. you have a chance...We got ours dismissed after 2 passed polygraphs, and a safe touching class and project my son had to do. He did everything he was asked to do and this just dragged on while they tried to get a conviction. We "won" but we didn't win. Even getting his record expunged was a nightmare. the assistant DA laughed at our attorney when he stated why we were there that day. laughed! ugh. Hang in there. Do what you can and what you have to. Stand by him. and never give up.

Your case is over now and I realize it has been a while. But it seems the court in Douglas County, CO is extremely rigid. My grandson and family have not had the opportunity to tell their side of the true story. It is frustrating that the neighbors can tell lies out of retaliation and my grandson has to suffer. I was there when the event happened a year ago and it was normal inquisitive child play. Both 10 years old engaged in touching. Both were punished and the parents discussed it. Now they are using this to get back at my daughter-in-law over a dispute. What a travesty that they are believed.

It is so sad. The only time my son was allowed to tell his side of the story was to our lawyer. Other than that we had to listen to all their side. I will be interested to see how yours ends up given that they are both the same age. My heart breaks for you all. There is no winner in this. And now my son has an attitude against police and the court system in general. I can't serve on a jury bc I heard all the twisting go the prosecutors words, makes me sick.

I hope the DA will look at the evidence. When the children did this they were punished and grounded. After two weeks this girl's mother texted and asked if she could come over and play with my granddaughter like nothing happened. For four months she spent time at my son's house a lot. My grandson stayed away from her but her mother was it concerned?! I took her places together with my grandson and granddaughter. Then when the mother got mad about another unrelated incident she called the police about this one event from last March !! This woman created some bad karma for herself to make all three of these children suffer, including her own daughter. My granddaughter lost her best friend. The girls used to be together constantly. But you are right, my grandson is now the victim. I do appreciate your responses!

The mom in my case was like a sister to me. We were so incredibly close. It truly was as though she died and I grieved such a loss. As I was grieving for all that my son lost too. Almost 6 months out of 8th grade... And the mistrust he still carries.

Hello my family has also been through this same thing and my heart saddens when I read your story cause pretty much everything you guys went through our family went through. My son was accused of touching his little 3 yr old cousin. Just like you I cried day in n day out worrying about what was going to happen to our son. We had to go through all the counseling and polygraph test after they got results that my son was innocent after a long 15 months on probation they let him off but we are still waiting to go to court next month April 14th 2014 to see if he he has to register as a sex offender smh. Question do you think it's worth suing the lady who accused my child?

My lawyer told me that i couldn't sue the accusing family. basically, it's because it isn't the parents making the accusation, it's the child. something like that. obviously, i would do anything to get the $$ back, but i can never recover the time and spirit and emotional loss my son has gone through.

you would need to gather & present all the proof that you can on his innocence

The problem is there is no proof...for either side. One side against the other and in the sexual accusation cases, the accuser is treated as innocent and the victim from the get-go.

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my 6 year old daughter has accused her ex step brother who is 13 years old of physically, sexually and verbally abusing her. She even said he told her he would kill me if she told me, so for a while she allowed him to touch her in secret to protect ME from harm. When she did tell me my head was in a daze, shock, denial, fear, guilt, blame, confusion etc... you name it... every emotion possible I experienced. But I believed her, her every word and I listened and I reported it to the boys father, I strongly advised him to let the boys mother know too and I told him I was reporting it to the police (not sure if he did tell her or speak to his son, because he was in shock, denial etc when I told him and got defensive - understandably). I am here to protect my child and to project her little voice, if I don't stand up for my daughter who will and what chance will she have to lead a healthy and productive lifestyle knowing shes loved, protected and cared for. How will she grow up into a wonderful woman knowing what is right and what is wrong and how to speak up for herself if no one listens to her. She doesn't understand the seriousness of what has happened to her and every now and then out of the blue she questions with a puzzled ex<x>pression on her little face "Why did he do that to me? I don't know why he did that to me?" trying to work it out in her own little head. How can I as her mother turn around and respond to such as question and tell her it happened because he is selfish, he has no empathy for others and he has taken advance of her because she is innocence and he has used her for his own sexual gratification? How can I tell her that knowing its the truth? So instead my response to her is this... "because he doesn't know the difference between right and wrong, but you do and you are a clever girl for telling mummy.. you know the difference between good secrets and bad secrets and mummy is very proud of you". For now she is happy with this response. My daughter is healthy, happy and extremely resilient, (more so then I), she always has a massive smile on her face much brighter than any hot sun on a summers day, she is my sunshine and she lives each day as if its her first without a care in the world, curious about the world around her, eager to try new things and learn (I wish I could too). I really hope that she forgets about what has happened to her and she is able to grow into a healthy adult and have healthy relationships... she is young enough to forget. I hope this doesn't come back to haunt her one day where she will reflect and question again "Why did he do that to me? and end up with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. However I will never forget, I will carry around this burden forever, this will haunt me until the day I die and I will find it hard to trust again. I have found it really helpful to read the comments on here from parents who are on the other side of the coin, whether their son is guilty and parents are in denial (natural response) or their son is innocent because it has given me an insight into your pain as parents too, you are victims too. My daughters offender has pleaded not guilty and because its her word against his there is a possibility he may even get off with it. However to be honest he is only 13 years of age so I don't even think a criminal conviction is the right outcome for him... (if he was an adult than yes it would be), I believe he needs support, education... strange... but instead of wanting to kidnap him and cut his hands off I feel sorry for him too. However I need to put my daughter first and put myself in her shoes and wonder what sort of outcome she would want from this, whether now or as an adult if it comes back to haunt her later on. Whether he gets away with it or not.. I sure he has been punished in his own head in his own way, and I hope his parents give him the attention he needs and get him support so he can grow into a healthy man and have healthy relationships too.... no more victims please. I have done my job as a parent for reporting it and later on if my daughter does remember what happened to her and questions it.... she will know that she told mummy, mummy listened, mummy believed her and mummy reported it. I really wish this didn't happen, it is a sad and sorry mess for everyone involved - everyone is a victim, both children, all parents, family members on both sides... no parent either side of the coin wants to find themselves in either situation. However sexual abuse does happen, I'm sure everyone on here has done their research and is now an expert on the subject.... it is very common and when a child says it has happened to them - we must listen and report it and allow the professionals to do their jobs and get support where needed for all parties involved, no matter what confusion is running through our heads... we need to have empathy for all involved too.. no one wants to be in this situation EVER.

We are 2 1/2 years out from the same thing, except they are half-siblings. Good for you for listening to her and being on her side. One thing that people don't know until it happens is that children are apparently incapable of making this up, there is nothing that they have in their minds until they have been exposed to it. Looking at the ages of all of these boys in these stories, these parents need to know that they probably did do it and that the boys need support to learn to not do it. I was fully supportive of my step-son getting the help he needed in a facility that could provide it, and that helped my daughter heal too, because they still love their sibling/playmate. We are still not through all of the backlash, but we will get there and you will too. Just hold on mama.

I'm really shocked that you posted this on here. My son DID NOT touch this little girl. From the beginning, I had concurred that maybe she WAS touched by someone else and blamed my son, but the story she told of that night could NOT have happened the way she said. And she told the story differently about 4 times. And still she was believed? My heart was actually broken for her that she had been touched by someone, who knows? Maybe it was grandpa? But the night of the accusation, there wasn't a time that it could have happened. Take your comments to a board for recovering molesters who have been found guilty and are getting help, not one where the parents are scared out of their wits with every emotion possible. Thank you.

my little brother has just be accused of excally the same, I came accross your story to search to see what will happen to him being wrongly accused of something he hasnt done. It is truly dreadful and my parents are in pieces. Its all just such a mess. Do you have any adive? Thankyou

my advice to you is to trust him, especially if you know that he wouldn't do something of that nature. stand by him & support him.


i can only say to be ready for a long haul. it took a year and 1/2 from us, $20,000, and still to this day when my son sees a policeman (they lied to us) or a fireman (the dad of the supposed victim is one) he scoffs. It has changed our life. But you will get through it. Just keep in mind that the "victim" will be believed, and your brother won't. So be there for him...make sure he knows you believe him and IN him. that is all you can do.

And yes the police woman on my grandson's case lied and misled them into thinking they should talk to them without an attorney and it would be over. Big mistake! My son is so regretful he did not call an attorney sooner. He says he let my grandson down. All the police woman wanted to do was prove her case. Do not trust the police! Lesson learned the hard way.

I wish that I could help, honestly the same thing is being done with me, only I'm 21.
I wish for the best of luck to all of you


This happen to me to ..wen I was 14 I was acaused of touching a 8 old boy. I got arrested I went to court for 8 month they were drop no prove kid was lying..but that kid finished my life I don't got friends no more People want to beeat me up all the time I drop out of school I jusr stay in the house 24 scared come out I cry every night because I feel lonely sometimes feel like killing my self and I can't stop drinking because I hate my life I can't even go to school because they will talk bad about me ..that kid ruined my life bad I wanted to be a cop but I can't no more Because I drop out.I hate my life): now I'm 17 I haven't had a friend for 4 years or a girlfriend because I was falsely accused. Please help me I'm so depressed

you have a friend with me.
I'm 21 & being accused of just wanting to touch a 2 year old.
just the thought sickens me, now my friends want to beat my ***, more than normal, my family has questioned if it's true.
I've taken a polygraph, so I guess I'll see what happens next.

sorry to hear about how messed up your life is, NO ONE deserves to be falsely accused of this when it's very clear that their innocent


I cant tell u enough how much I feel for u all I was 13 and accused of the same thing with a 7amd 9 year old did five years in tyc cause I did plea bargain they had let me out A out on deffered probation and failed it and charged me with the bigger crime im 27 now have until im thirty till im done I am a girl also yep sucks bigand life basically ruined

Where can we find where research was done to show that kids ages 4-8 make false accusations? We find ourselves in a position that sounds almost exactly like supersadmom's.

try to copy and paste that. I hope it helps shed some light.

This just happened to my brother a little girl we take care of told her mom that supposably my brother stuck his finger in her butt and you don't know how mad I am because not once was that little brat alone I was always there to hear this literally breaks my heart for my brother because me and my dad 100% trust him but my mom had that doubt implanted on her by the child's mother even though she trusted him 100% after I told her that I was always there that doubt killed my brother I've never seen him so sad and mad before its just horrible

I'm so sad for you and your brother and your family. I don't know where these little girls get this fantasy idea, but there is research to support the instance of false accusation by 4-8 or 9 year olds. So sad.

So sorry about this.But sadly a boy has no chance of being believed. And yes he will be branded for the rest of his life. The change laws I good meaning but it only does injustice to all.

isn\'t that the saddest truth. a boy won\'t be believed for not doing it. but a girl will be believed that it happened. that is why I won\'t let my son be alone with any of his younger 4 girl cousins. not even for a second. and he knows the rules too. not for one second.

Wow..this is is so easy for people to believe the accuser..what about the ones being accused? this is a horrible sisters ex husband has been trying for years to get her rights terminated..he has custody of their daughter and would do anything to make her look bad..well a few summers ago she had her for the summer and she brought her to my house a time or two to play with my mind you we all know how this man is and he would stop at nothing to take her rights completely away if he could..he is a horrible control freak..anyway back to the story..she was with my sister the whole time they were at my house.. when they played we were within ear shot and eye shot and kept the door open not to mention constant check ups on them ..she basically doesnt let her out of her she gets papers now stating that my 11 yr old daughter molested her 8 yr old daughter..are you kidding me?! they were never alone ..she was fine all summer she never mentioned this stuff to anyone now hes stating she told people and we ignored her ..he has proven to be a liar and has lied about other things in the he has tried to make it to where she(my sister) only gets supervised visitation a few times a yr he lives states sister cannot afford a lawyer and we have heard nothing from anyone concerning our daughter..this man is just plain evil..he says that his daughter confided in a counselor about all this..we havent heard anything from cps or anything else and this was supposedly last summer..i just think its awful that kids this young can make an accusation and everyone automatically believes the accuser dont get me wrong i know there are times when this does happen.... but this is a serious accusation and can cause another child alot of heartache... anyway i wish the best for all of you and i hope things turn out well..God bless..

I know its long but please read it.
Just like most of us I also believe that my son is innocent. I'm writing this story because I cant comprehend if its true or lie. So this what happened. I have send my 13 year old son with his grandma to overseas-to a European country that I was born and raised, and than came to USA. We went visit our families there few years before, and we as a family were very close with all of them. My cousin-female- with her daughter whose 9 went to pick them up and drive them to the city 2 hours away from the airport. So, my cousin drives, grandma whose 53-not that old- sits in front passenger and my son and her daughter in the back seat. Half way trough she says -the 9 year old- that shes tires and sleepy and want to lie down. So she puts her head on my sons lap, sideways, facing front of the car, legs and knees band towards her belly.And last to add is that she is wearing jeans. And that was it-they drop my son off and all were happy and normal. No indication of anything whatsoever. Supposedly 2 days after-the 9 year old were very upset and said that my son-13 years old, while driving back from the airport , played with her vagina. So now where the odd part came: Neither to me- a mother, nor to grandma- or my son ever was said about what the 9 year old what she have said. It was only told by her mother-my cousin-to other family members so they will watch their kids if my son was around them, so he would not do this to others. The way we found out about it was 2 months later though other family member. But still in Europe. Who said that she only tells because everybody knows and she can't stand it for us to not know. During that time of 2 months the alleged victim-9 year old, was playing happy with my son, as kids would do. Her mother would come over to my sons house, hang out and let the kids play-run outside, ride bike and such. All this time grandma and my son had no idea that this rumor was around-they did not suspect anything.
So my questions are. 1. How come the mother of the girl never said anything? Supposedly because she did not want to have a fight with me-because I would not believe her. 2.If this is true why she still want to bring her daughter around my son?
3. even after-like right the way the molestation, the girl still want to play with my son, even when he said that hes on xbox and don't have time?
There was my other cousin who lives in USA and is very close with us. She has 2 girls, one is 7, other around 9. She asked them if my son ever touch them or try to and they both said no. This is a cousin that will come over and sleep in our house on weekends. We -adults could be outside-and the kids inside most of the time-playing. So if that could happen with them, they would have plenty of unsupervised time. The victim's mother says that she believe her daughter because she exactly described how he touched her in the car. And now all are against my son even my cousin who is here in USA-don't believe my son. To add, the girl has 18 year old brother, her parents split few times and was a big mess as she cheated on her husband. Also the 9 year old's grandpa-is kind of a pervert-he used to try to touch me and other cousins when we were teens. And the 9 year old is supervised by him-when they on break from school. I do not say that the grandpa would still do it as hes in 70's. When we eventually find out the rumor-grandma called her mother to ask about it. But the mother kept the conversation very short stating that she knows that my son did it. She never try to contact me or confront my son.
So please help-I don't know to who believe-I do believe my son , but our family is convinced that he did it. He is a nice and quiet boy, not so much into girls, never got in trouble and I have never notice a weird behavior towards other girls. I don't know how to fix his reputation or how to prove it. Should I take him to the shrink or others that could detect if he is telling a lie or truth? And my cousin who is here with 2 girls told me hat she will be on the watch out for my son to make sure that he will not do this to her daughters. Me and my husband decided that we are braking our ties with other families overseas and the one that is close to us, too.
Help-what to do? What to think? I feel like I'm loosing my mind!!!!!

Well I came across this while trying to understand why a child would say that something happed when I am sure that it did not. My best friend her husband and her daughter age 7 came over to our house unexpected one evening. We were all outside and my son age 13 was showing her daughter a new pony that we just got. He saddled the pony for her and they (her mother, she and my son) took it to the arena behind my house to ride it around the barrels. My daughter and one of their friends was also present and walked to the barn to do some chores. The arena is located at behind the barn. After riding the pony, they all returned to the house where and the girl was very bubbly acting and asked my husband how much the pony cost and if he could give them time to come up with the money for the pony. After they left the her father returns and asked to speak with my husband and son alone. I thought it was to discuss the pony. Well boy was I wrong. The little girl went home and told her mother that my son touched her. It was supposed to have happened while we were all standing around and also when he was leading her to the arena on the pony. My daughter said that she never seen my son stop the pony or even turn toward the little girl. My son is very upset and says that there is no way that he would do that. That she is like a sister to him and he would never do that. We have quizzed him over and over about helping her on the pony, etc. thinking that maybe he accidently brushed up against her. As hours went on I called the mother and with each conversation, it got worse and the story bigger. It went from him touching her once to several times and her even having to push his hand away and tell him no and the mother basically stating to me that her daughter has never told a lie and getting very upset with me for asking questions about when it was to have taken place that day. I do not believe that it happened without someone seeing anything and everyone was there the whole time. The mother stated to me that it happened when they were walking around the corner of the barn and she was closing the gate. My daughter says that they were in front of them the whole time and they were all talking about how they thought she would do on the pony and she and the friend kept looking back at my son and the girl and never seen anything. I am really upset and not sure how to handle it at this point. Any Advice would be appreciated. PLEASE.

continue to be a source of support for your son and don't waver for one second. Unfortunately, if they go to the authorities, it is out of your hands and the girls word against your son. This ended up taking about 2 years of our lives to clear up, two lie detector tests (passed both) and $20,000. It is still so hard for any of us when we mention his 8th grade year b/c it was so awful and stressful. please reach out to me for anything and let me know how things are going. You will be in my prayers. I also did a little research and the most common age for false accusations and it's 4-8 and sometimes 9 depending on the maturity. It is a documented phenomenon. And it is truly heart-breaking. I'm here for you.

thank you. I am not sure what direction this will take. It is especially hard since my son had a stroke last year and has just fully recovered. He had to learn to walk and everything again. We spent a year in and out of hospitals and was not sure he would ever walk again. I trusted God then and I trust him now. He will take care of us. I appreciate your support, as I really have no family to talk to about this situation. My son will be in the 8th grade this year. We held him back and he missed a year with the stroke. When did you find the stats on age for false accusations? That is interesting. I wonder what other stats are out there. I can't understand what triggers something like this. Again thank you so much. How is you son doing now?
here's the site I got the info from. tony is fine now, mostly. He reflects on it sometimes. Calls the parents names for not believing him and the hell we all went through. We had kept him back as well, so your son and mine are the same age 8th graders. He does comment about how much he missed he missed his 8th grade year. I had to home school him as the Catholic school we were at wouldn't let him be there until this was resolved. but I mostly see him as ok. I NEVER let him be alone around little kids. Not b/c I don't trust hm, but b/c I'll never put him in a position (or my other sons or my sisters 3 boys) like that ever again. As it is, 2 of my cousins have little girls (3&amp;1) and I will NEVER let any of the young boys in my care be alone with them for one second. Like you said, they went around the side of the barn to the riding ring...I know now that unless I'm there, it is a little girls word against the boys. I am truly sad for you and all I can do is prya that the other family handles it like I wish our accusers would have: talked to my son and cut off the relationship but not gone to authorities. it truly was the longest 2 years of our lives. ugh. and I'm glad your son is well now. This too, can take a physical toll and I encourage you to be careful. Again, keep me posted.

Can you tell me where you are with this case?

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Where do I start? My 15 year old son was accused my his 7 year old cousin of mollestation. One of the incidents supposedly occurred while 6 others were in the room, one being myself (his mother). My niece was not even 8 inches from her Mom at the time. My sister has a history of coaching her daughter to lie. My sister took the 7 year old to the hospital and they took photos and filed a report. Three weeks later we get CPS and Detectives calling us. We did get a lawyer. So now it's pretty much wait and see. We will be headed to court because we agree with my son being innocent.

Has there been any developments in your case?

Hey there lady! I can only imagine what your going through, I am going through some things as well, with similarities. My oldest son who is now 16, at the time of this incident was 15, and one of my younger son's who is now 6, had an issue last summer. I left my oldest son to babysit my little for about an hour while I ran to the store, when I left my oldest son was on the computer playing games and my little was playing his plug and play game on the TV. I had called twice in that time frame i was gone to check on things, when i asked my oldest if things were ok he replied yes. About two months after my little went back to his dad for the school year, he claimed his older brother had been watching **** and made him pull his weeny until he peed. This was never mentioned to us, my little never said anything during that time at all about something like that. But two months later he is like a broken record and telling his family members this had happend to him. I am so upset, i have kept my oldest away for now, until we can get to the bottom of this. I am angry because this just doesnt' seem like either one of my kids. However, they both lie. Its hard to know if this really happend or this has just been something stuck into my littles head by his crazy wacko dad. My ex never reported it, never spoke to me about it, and has never tried to get to the bottom of it, all he does is threaten and tell me he doesn't want my little around my oldest. I tell ya, this is enough to drive me nuts. However, I will stay positive in this, and keep supporting both my children, because I am their mom. I will always love my boys, and I will always let them know, they are loved, and they will feel safe at my home, whatever it takes to make that happen. Tell your son, "chin up", one day everyone will wake up and be 50, or 18 and an adult, and hopefully you won't be going through this anymore. Please take care, and find peace!

Your PenPal friend,

Can you tell me what the outcome of this was?

I am currently going through something similar with my 13 year old. He was accused by a group of kids saying he showed them his private area and 2 other kids saying he touched them on their private areas over their clothes. He has said over and over that he didn't do it and I believe him because his younger sibling was with him and I know he doesn't even play or go around some of the accusers. A witness has seen this group of kids do the exact thing they are accusing my son of to other kids and letting other kids do the same thing to them. They have a woman that I believe have coerced them into saying these things because she doesn't like my family and has constantly been making up lies and spreading rumors about us just to keep things stirred up. What's so ironic is that everyone in the group accusing him of showing them his privates has shown all of my children their private parts. As a parent I have the right to report those children as well. Also one of the kids that accused him of touching them recently got in trouble for doing the same thing to another kid but I don't know if the parent reported that incident or just dealt with it themselves but I intend on providing our lawyer with that information. My main concern is to help prove my son is innocent and to keep him safe because I believe he could be suicidal if he was found guilty and sent away from us. Any help or suggestions would be helpful. Right now its their word against his and his younger sibling who was present when it supposedly happened but apparently the investigator has a hard time believing that a group of kids would get together and make up lies like this even though they have been pulling stuff like this for years

My 12 year old son has been accused of touching his 5 year old half brother. My son's father called the cops, is pressing charges, and has told my son he is no longer welcome in his home.
My son has told me over and over he didn't do anything wrong' but no one seems to be listening to him. Only the 5 year old. We have court tomorrow so I am scared, we have a lawyer, but I worry about it anyway.
Also I worry about the aftereffects this going to have on my son. His grades are dropping and he has gotten in trouble at school 4 times since this has happened in January.
I feel like my son's father and stepmother has it out for my son.
Can a 5 year old be cohorsed and tell the story over the same every time?
I will be the first to get my son help if he did this, I already have him in counseling since this all started, but if he has been falsely accused of this then I want justice.

Can you tell me where you are with process?

Being labelled a ********* or sex offender is the worst possible social stigma a person can receive. Its unconscionable that a child has to be subjected to this stigma, which no doubt leads to the spread of all sorts of rumors and innuendo and is most likely devastating to their self esteem. This is a case where the accusation could turn out to be more devastating and more harmful in the long run than the alleged abuse. I'd sue anyone who'd unthinkingly accuse my child of such a thing.

And sadly, we can't sue.

I will be awaiting an update. I will say however, stop trying to contact your friend. That relationship is over and gone. realize that now, get ok with that in your head and move forward. I missed my friend everyday for a long time, but now the pain is not so bad. the pain for my son was so much greater, that the pain of losing my "sister" became less. stay strong and let me know if there is anything i can do to help.

Well I got an attorney as you suggested. After a week of trying to get an interview set up with the det. with no success. This morning my son was arrested at his high school and taken 20 miles away and charged with sodomy 1 and released on house arrest while waiting for his arraignment on February 12, 2013. When I took the papers into my attorney I was told by the parralegal that because my son is so close to being 16 and the seriousness of the charge he could possibly be tried as an adult. I also found out that the little girl has changed the date of the supposed event again. I am just wondering if any of this will be brought up. Oh and on a negative note my poor little boy is awaiting to see what his girlfriends ( of 1 year) dad has to say. So hoping her parents don't make them break up. He has been put through enough already not sure how this is going to go. So worried about my baby boy.

Can you tell me where things are with this case?

I would be grateful for any advice. x

Oh my GOD !! This is happening to me and my family. It is tearing us apart ! I am so sorry to hear this about your son. My son is at court next week and our solicitor is pleading not guilty.
I do not sleep very well any more and my two eldest sons 21 and 23 are so upset. Jeanette

how did your court date go? and may i ask what state you are in?

We are going through the same thing, but it is my sons step sister that has accuse. She is 5 years old and my son is 12. My husband (his daughter is the accuser) is sure that it never happened as well as everyone that knows my son. My son has been removed from our home because I have a 3 year old also. We are so upset thankfully they let him go to my mothers house. Im at a lose as to what to do. This has only happened 4 days ago and with the holiday I cant get a hold of a lawyer. Questioning starts Thursday. Any advice would be wonderful.

how is everything going?

This is happening to my 12 year old son his 5 year step sister is accusing him. I am so scared and so is my son. We are just waiting for the results of all the exams and forensics i pray that everything gets clear. I know my son is not capable of this. my son cries everynight and he is scared and cant believe she would do this to him for he loves her like his own sister. But we know it her mother coaching her

hang in there and keep me posted. and sadly, it will be the word of the 5 year old that is taken over the word of your son. my son just said the other day that this whole thing ruined his life and I thought he had moved on after all the charges were dismissed. i'm so sad for him.

You story is almost like mine except it was not friends it is family and there was no phone call to talk about my son and his wife went to the police. Our whole family has TURNED against him, saying she(a 5 year old) would not say it if it wasnt true. Me, his mother, and his other grandmother is all that beleives in him. He is so depressed, he is seeing a counslor, but he told my grandson that he is moving to another state.At first she told her mom that he touched her through her clothes and when they vidieo her she says he pulled her panties down and touched her. He was aressted at school and does not want to go back. Why should a young people have to go through this just by a child saying this no proof just say so? i CAN NOT EAT, SLEEP OR STOP THINKING OF THE WHAT IF'S?

can you tell me what's going on now?

What happened?

my son's case was dismissed but it took nearly an act of congress to get his record expunged, which we just found out had gone thru this week. 2 years and 3 months and almost $20,000. gone. just like that. i have a lot of anger, but my son is doing well. just glad to have it over.

This is happening way too much this day and age of hysteria. You are guilty until you all your energy and time and money trying to prove your innocence. kangaroo courts is what we have, they are set up to force people to plea bargain not to fight for themselves in a trial. Until you have someome you know have this happen too, you don't realize how it ruins innocent peoples lives. All over the internet before any conviction, how is someone suppose to pick themselves up after something like this? People need to hear about all the wrongly accused cases and all the hell it causes and how can that be o.k? What has happened to this society? The more people hear the more they can judge with some education and rationality.

HI, im sorry to hear of your story and hope it was dropped. I am on the other side of the fence and maybe you can help me decide what to do. My four year old says that her eleven year old cousin touched her and "married kissed" her. She does say details and it is very consistent each time. It has been a year and still about once every other month she says something. Now our nephew is a very good kid. He doesnt seem troubled in anyway and says nothing happened and was grossed out by it. I am soo torn on what to think, feel or react. Everybody, my husband, grandparents sister in law believe she is lieing. I have a hard time not believing her because, one, somebody has to be on her side, and two, how would she know about a penis or sexual acts if she wasnt abused. I dont know what to do we will never know what happened and i wont press charges if im not certain. However if it did happen and we dont act, my nephew wont get the help he needs to prevent or just talk about it.

i have to say, i would feel as conflicted as you and i don't for one second hold against my friends that they taked to a psychlogist and she had to report. however, reading all that i have in the past few years, the false accuastions by this age group are incredible. if my friend would have let me be involved at all, i would have had a sit down with them, their daughter and my son and made her tell the story to me in front of him. my biggest fear is that she was abused by someone else, so with them going forward, i was really hoping the truth would come out, my son be cleared, and her real abuser be found. but even in her interview she said "he's 17 and lives next door" and that was never investigated. they have a 17year old boy neighbor and we live 30miles away and my son was 13. i don't know what the right answer is...there is no right answer. I have even talked to my friend and told her my son's story never changed and he passed 2 polygraphs and she ultimatley said "well, i have to believe my daughter". kids lie. did she touch herself and it felt good and she felt guilty so she had to say someone else did it? who knows. and how sad. $20,000 later and still waiting for the case to be expunged. We are going out of town soon ad the family we would have this sone stay with has 2 younger girls so i won't do it.. i'll never put any one of my 3 boys in a position of her word against his. never again will one of them be alone with a neighbor, a cousin, a friend, anyone. i will protect them until i die. if yu go forward, know that it will change your relationship with your nephews family forever and they will never be the same either. my advice to you is talk to them both together, watch facial expressions on the him, and see where that discussion goes. if you don't file, i would never let them be alone together. you must be vigilant and aware. i also agree that if my son DID DO it, i wanted him to get help. and if something DID happen to her, no matter by who, i wanted her to get help. she was very clear too, and said when my son put his finger in her, he went ugh, ugh, ugh...wwhen i asked my son about that, he was grossed out and didn't know what i menat. he didn't start ************ until he want to a psychiatrist for sexual deviation testing. thank god i was in the room with him...i had to explain half the **** to him. that day changed him forever. he learned a life time of bad **** in one afternoon. well, i hope i helped. i wish we could have talked to the parents with both kids before the moved forward but the dad would have none of that. back in my parents day, that is how it would have been handled. little kids lie for reasons we don't know. there are some great resources out there about false accuasations. let me know what you decide.

can you let me know how you decided to go on this?

My 12 yr old son is being falsely accused of touching a 5 yr old boy that we have known for years, and of course I asked my son and he said no he would never do that. The little boys older brother stated that my son was not only doing it to his brother but another child at school (to top that we have nothing to do with the older brother because he does not live by us and is in a different part of the school then my older son), long story short the sheriffs did their investigation and proved the older brother was lying about the other child at school, but they can not prove whether it happened to the 5 yr old or not. my son is like yours very kind and gentle and loves other children. the parents of this 5 yr old are telling us that he is sticking to his story about what happened but I have a feeling he was coached into saying these things, they day this all came about I went over and talked to the father and the first thing the 5 yr old said to me was can I come play with ur kids (no names) now if something had happened why would he as me that. I am affraid for my son because these people are scantless and we live in a small community. Do you have any suggestions to help me.

I wish there was something I could say to help. even after they interviewed this little girl in our case and she said "he's a 17 year old that lives next door" no red flags were raised to check into anyone but my son. My son was 13 and we live 40 mins. away. The accusers family indeed had a 17yr. old neighbor at the time! if they have the child interviewed and this is reported, you are in for the long haul. there is no dropping these cases or trying to protect the innocent accused. that year and a half was a complete nightmare that never seemed to end. keep me posted on how it progresses...thank you...and i will pray for you, your son, and your family,

thank you for your prayers...I just went to the school and spoke to my son and I guess now they have their 5 yr old calling my son a rapest at school...I hope I can handle this...we are thinking about moving and just getting away from here but I am not sure if thats really a good idea...

how did this end up for you?

Thank you for you concern, I headed everything off at the pass and took my son to the police before they had the chance and started the initial investigation...there were to many holes in there story that did not match up and the police proved that her son was Ihave not heard another word from any of them and our lives are going on as it did before minus the trouble makers....I thank GOD everyday that my son was cleared and his life was not distroyed....

good for you!!! let me know if anything else comes of this or you need anything else. happy new year!!!

thank you happy new year to you as well...

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My son has been falsely accused of improper touching some fellow grade eight students, and of stalking another. He has been diagnosed with having ashburgers sydrome, specifically autism spectrum. He is very tall, being 6'3", and he is a year youngwer than his classmates because he skipped a grade. He does not understand social cues, so he doesn't recognize the signs that some teenage girls show when they absolutely despise someone. He is the one being bullied. The councilour at the school absolutely believes the girls. My son's life out side of school is completely different then what the school staff is trying to portray. My son has reported the girls ruff housing him in the class, of course there was a sub in that day, and didn't notice the girls bothering him, only when my son got tired of them bugging him, and retaliated, that the teacher then took notice. And of course the girls would not admitt to any wrong doing on their part. My son bumped into one of the girls at the begining of the class by accident. He apologized immediately, but the girl reported that my son improperly touched her. For heaven sake, my son can't innocently bump into a girl. I have witnessed myself how maliciuos teenage girls can be towards other students they don't like, especially boys they don't like. Now the councilour and the principle from last year (who has recieved a promotion and is no longer at the school) have assessed my son as a level one threat at the school and convinced the school liason officer to open a criminal file on my son. Their explenation for this was that the file would be a support for my son outside of school. How would a criminal file on my son be helpful to him. Now they can say, "He is known to police!" The school staff have made them selves judge, jurry and executioner. My son has denied the claims against him, and has tried to tell his side of the story, but they won't listen. I even had numerous meetings with the councilour and principle trying to defend my son, they just won;t listen, and now they won't even return my phone calls. I am in the process of trying to get him to go to another schhol, but it is so close to school starting again, and we are not in the other schools catchment area. Until my son is acceptyed at the hew school he has to still attend the old one so he doesn't give up his seat there. He does not want to go back at all, but I feel he needs to, to show that he has has not done anything wrong. I am gathering letters of recommendation from my son's past teachers, education assistance, friends and officers from his cadet squadron. When I explain to other people who know my son well, they react with disbelief and shock. I am sick with anxiety. I can't sleep anymore, and I don't know what else I can do. I anybody has shared a similar experience, I would very much appriciate it if you could share it. Thanks, a 24 hour mom.

I told my husband about your case last night and he just shook his head in disbelief. the system is so flawed, in so many ways, on so many levels. We are waiting for a hearing on an appeal due to a very antiquated statute which denies my son expungement even though his case was dismissed. We were at about $18,000 into this and just now got our monthly bill from our lawyer for another $1500. When will this end? this is draining our savings and the kids college accounts. But we can't exactly fire our lawyer as we want to see this through to expungement. Keep me posted on your case. I'll be praying for you. the one good thing for my son was that after I hoem schooled him for six months while we waitd for this to be dismissed, he was able to graduate from 8th grade and move onto high school and start fresh. He left behind all of those bad feelings of people thinking bad things about him and is moving on...

What has happened in your case , did it go to court? I'm asking because my 13 year old son was accused of touching my 5 year old grand daughters privates by my daughter. This just happened the night before last. I'm overwrought and stressed. When i asked my son he was shocked and hurt and said no. My daughter now has taken my grand daughter to emergency, gotten the police and child services involved. I'm going nuts because though I feel badly for my daughter and grand daughter I believe my son and this is tearing the family apart.

Yes, we went to court. It dragged on for 18 months. He took and passed 2 lie detectors tests. He took a boundaries therapy and how to handle yourself in different situations. Due to lack of evidence and him completely the boundaries program, the case was dismissed. I home schooled him 6 months B/c he wasn't allowed at school with this accuasation unresolved. We have spent over $19,500 to defend him against the false accuasations. We are disgusted by the system and how it failed my son. And aparently, is failing a lot of other people as well. So very sad. I keep seeing the same age in the girls who are making these false accuasations...4-5 years old seems t be common. I wonder if a study has ever been done to see what goes on in thier this the beginning of thier sexuality and finding out about their bodies and they feel guilty about touching themselves so they say someone else did it? I can think of the 100's of times that I would see my 3 sons hands in their pants when they were about this age...I would be interested to see if there is a link. Keep me posted. you are in for a long haul and lenghty court battle. Will you please tell me what the results were at the hosital and wha tthe little girl says happened? Prayers to you.
Great study for anyone who may need it in the future.

I am curious as to how your sons case turned out. I recieved a phone call last night from a friend saying her now 6 year old daughter said that my now 15 year old son touched her privates 2 years ago which would make her4 and my son 13. I asked my son about itand he said no he did not touch her. Her parents are getting her counseling before they go any further but I am terrified. Should I contact a lawyer eventhough nothing has been said to the authorities? To make matter worse my husband is in the army and we are awaiting orders for a new duty station so this is a whole can of bad situation. I have so many questions and do not know where to go for answers.

get a lawyer. now. as soon as they go to a counsel, it will be reported as required by law. that's all it takes. be in touch and let me know how it goes.

I will thank you so much. I at least have an idea now of where to start.

Thank you so much for the advice. We got a lawyer just in time. Went and talked to him yesterday and paid my retainer this morning and got a call from a Det. this afternoon. It is a bit of a relief to have someone to turn to with questions and that knows how to handle things. I feel better for my son but it is still such a blow. I had a feeling that something might happen today because my friend would not answer my calls, text or facebook messages. Since I have completed my associates degree in criminal justice I have some knowledge of what the variation of possibilties could be but nothing can prepare a person for this. I have realized that it is one thing to study this but when you acually have to deal with it your self I felt kind of lost regardless of what I know. WOW is all I can say. Me knowing what I do I am able to somewhat answer my families questions but as I have said there are to many variables to be able to say with any certainty what will happen. As of right now our attorney is handling setting up the meeting with the detective so until then we wait some more. Will post more later.

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I'm so sorry this is happening to you. My nightmare started yesterday morning and I can see from these other posts that it will not be over anytime soon. :'( I am sick with worry and stress. I am so broke now, it is almost unbearable. I just lost my foodstamps and other assistance because of a small inheritance from my deceased grandmother, and have put all of it into securing us a place to live for the future. Now this. OMG I am so distraught. I'm glad though that I found this message board, and hopefully will get some support. So far, all of my friends and family have been supportive of me and my son, and with any luck this will all be dismissed. Love and light to all! <3

I am thankful I found this site and other moms who can understand what I am feeling. After months of internet searching, it is sad to say this is the first I have come across any type of support for those of us on 'this side.' My 12 year old son has been falsely accused of 'inappropriate touching.' Our case has been dragging on for 4 long months now while the DA 'decides' whether or not to charge him with 1st Degree SA. I am utterly disgusted by the lack of competency in our HS and JJ system. At this point, there is nothing more than a 'he said, she said' situation between 2 young children yet we have spent the last 4 months being threatened by the DA that she will be filing these charges, but has yet to do so. Like many of you, an entire family and extended family has been completely ripped apart, thousands of dollars have been spent, and child's life destroyed by being put through this awful system. Part of the dagger for me is that there has never been any sort of investigation. A mother who now admits she coerced her child into saying things to a school counselor, human services involvement, police contact, and now a case before the DA. Would you believe none of the representatives of these agencies have reached out to talk to my son, nor the other 20+ family members that were present on the day of the alleged incident? I am sure you will, as your stories are as proposterious as mine. We all need to come together and find a way to insist this system be fixed as it is severly broken. After reading many of your posts, I realize my battle has just begun 4 month into it. It is comforting to know there are other mothers out there who can relate to how I feel. Even though we have an enormous support group around us, it seems hard to believe that anyone's heart hurt like a mother when your child is having to endure such pain and doom. The feeling of helplessness is worse. I hope I have found the support group I've so needed these past few months as I believe I am going to need it moving forward.

i agree with you 100% the system is not at all wroking. our case can now not be expunged because of how long it was before the courts. really? now the lawyer has to file a brief to go to appeals, even though our case was dismissed and my son never spent one second in a cell of any kind. they are telling us that it is an antiquated legislative bill that "reads funny" and now his record won't be clean for 4 years. EVEN THOUGH THE CASE WAS DISMISSED! he'll be 19. he will have applied for colleges and this will be evident on his records. his case was dismissed! i can't even believe this. and on top of that is more money to our lawyer. We thought we'd wrap this up at about $1600, but we are looking at about $1800 now. I thought the juviniles were supposed to be protected. nope, they want this stigma, even though false and dismissed, to stay with them. wow. my son just wants to move on out from under this cloud. very sad state of affairs our country is in! relentlessmom, let me know if there is anything i can do to help you or any support i can give. prayers to you always!

Going to talk to our lawyer today. I am feeling like I have not felt before... I am angry sad confused and in awe.. I believe a 10 yr old would not just come up with a story like this. I truly believe a name was wrong and just maybe the accused was named wrong. I believe me if my son has done this I will be the first to get him the help he needs and quite possibly look into where he learned such behavior. After reading the report many times a lot of things just do n't add up. I cant comprehend why my nephew would name Tim. All I can think is he was "choosing lesser of 2 evils" by that I mean because my son lives so far away maybe he wont get in trouble. Could this be what a 10 yr old thinks. Could he have been persuaded.? Quite frankly this 10 yr old HAS been abused. It is obvious. Its just horrible my son is in junior fire fighters and police explorers and this could quite possibly ruin his dreams. he is a freshman in high school and is working his *** off to make a career. Not to mention the already formed opinions of others that know the story...

we also believe that the girl who accused my son picked the lesser of tow evils for a few reasons. firstly, we live 45 minutes away and in her statement she said my son was 17 (he was 14 at the time) and lived next door to her. They in fact have a 17 year old boy who lives one house away but he was never interviewed. secondly, I do believe that in her 4year old mind, she thought nothing would happen to my son because the families were so close. I know there is no way for her to put it altogether that it would cause such harm, and my biggest fear is that something DID happen to her, by someone else, and there will never be any reprecussions for that person. the case is now closed. i'm with you, if i thought for one second my son did it, he'd be in therapy. but after a 14year old passes 2 polygraphs, we're all pretty clear that we have nothing to worry about here. I'm sad she will never get the help she needs to resolve wither the lying or the fact that someone hurt her.

My goodness, I don't know where to start. My brother called me over today and showed me a police report that stated my nephew 10 yr old accused my 14 yr old son of abusing him. The accusations were vague and obviously his mother (my brothers x wife) had written the statement. What i got from it was my son %$^^&** him. Come on I want to be there for my nephew and believe him but I also need to believe my son. The story was just absurd. Though i 100 percent with all my heart believe my son is innocent I believe something has happened with my nephew, just some facts and quite possibly the accuse was named wrong. The story is long. My son visits on the weekends my nephews visit there dad and we are neighbors... My son frequents there, if this was a true story why would my nephew keep asking for my son to visit. *(if he so scared) I don't know what to do.....

the DA will eventually give up if there isn't nough evidence, and if not then, i have faith that the judge will see thru the bullshit. i'm so sad for you b/c once this starts, no one can stop it. the system is really screwed up on this one! prayers to you. keep us posted!

I'm going thru same thing. However after six long months after the therapist even had the evidence that the other lied we still had to go thru trail. Lucky the judge seen thru the lies . And he dismissed the case. Praying for you I know how hard it is. Believe or not it was family that did it to my son ..

i'm so glad that it is over for you. but it's never really over. you will think of it and it will make you sad for ever. especially that it was family. i have lost my best friend and my son lost his innocence with everything he's been thru and the two polygraphs. so sad to be forced to mature. (and we're a hockey family too!)

so we have now had our pretrial continued. Researching this kind of case leaves me no hope this will end at all. I sent you a link that is bleak but informative. my son goes on march 19th to set a trial date. i have put him in counseling just so he can have additional support. we stand by him 110%! our lawyer is getting no information. how is your case going?

my son has passed a second polygraph (like you, we stand by him 110%) and our next court date is march 22nd. we will either have a trial that day or have the charges dismissed. my son can't go to school as there is a policy in place regarding an outstanding sexual charge. it's understandable, but he's missing his 8th grade year. i am home schooling him. i am not a teacher, but it's all we can do until this is cleared. it is possible that if the DA is going to dismiss, we could know before the 22nd. He and I went to Mass today for Ash Wed. and they asked us to take up the gifts. I took that as a sign that this is the beginning of us walking out of the darkness. i hope...

I am praying for you and your son. Justice has to somehow prevail. i have decided no matter the outcome of this our lives will still move on. they may be different and jaded (in a way) but they will go on. i finally got the nerve to tell a church friend about this and she was so so supportive . she is coming over tomorrow and said "you need your church family right now!" hoping i dont break down to hard.

just wanted to know if you had your trial yet?

Any update on your son's case? I'm new to this site and not sure how it works.

I feel for you seeking, It has now been four months that this has been going on. my sons trial is set for june 4th. This process is not set up for justice at all. We received the tapes of all the questioning and the story is horrible. i wish i could say that this will be dismissed for you but it wont. they will continue no matter if the evidence is in your favor or not. They are now trying to have both his accusers video taped for their testimony instead of having to take the stand. i can tell you it seems poly graphs are a waste of time and money if anything though it gives you a peace of mind. i will continue praying for all of us we need gods strength right now. any updates on anyone?

our first poly that he passed was a huge lift off our shoulders for sure, but yes $650 of waste as the DA wouldnt use the results anyway. And then she had him take another, which he passed, given by the da's office so we didn't have to pay for it. the system is NOT set up for justice. they want these kids to take a plea deal or plead guilty just to have the case under their belt as a win. it's all bad. My oldest son wants to be a lawyer and I really don't want him to be! it's nasty business...Even though it's over for us, it will never go away. Yes, the support of a church family will be huge and you will see the support and prayer will get you through.

what is your situation? anything i can do to help?

any updates on your case?

We had our trial. the judge stopped the trial because the prosecution did not prove the case. we were so blessed to find a forensic psychiatrist who deals specifically in these types of cases. She did an evaluation and found that our son would not likely commit a crime like this. We are now awaiting the thirty day appeal process and then sixty days to file expungement. we are currently in to this at around 12,000.oo while these people do not pay a cent. The judge was actually cutting in with witnesses because it was such a farse. i will continue to pray for everyone. i know this is the hardest situation and no matter what it will never be truly over for any of our kiddos because it will affect them for their entire lives.

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this story is what im going though and i just turned 15 and i have been so sad and i dont know how to handle it and i didnt know what was going on till they interview and it was the worst i never been though this well i never got in trouble its been hard on my mom and my family its hard at school cuz the people who are doing this go to my high school and they just look at me with wired looks they push me they kid has came to my house and throw stuff and the older sister has told her friends so now they walk by and just watch us and they so mean words like ur going down down..

hey man this the kid that got accused. man i have been so sad and down since this got reported. the only thing you can do is pray. pray every night. and just live life. you can over come it by praying. and being the best man you can be. dont let it get down on life. just keep living. i bet your a great guy. and everything will work out. good luck bro.

This story sounds way too familiar...My family (mainly, my 13 year old son) is also going through almost exactly the story you told. I feel so alone and helpless. It is my prayer that things work out well for your family.

I feel you. These people were my best friends. We live away from our families and my husband works out of country. I feel completely alone right now and my son is suffering so much. I just have to believe god is hearing my prayers.

this woman was absolutely like my sister. we did everything together 9my sister is 1300 miles away and we aren't close anyway). this little girl has no idea what she has done to our lives. he's missing his 8th grade year. all i can say is stay strong and stick to your beliefs. God will hear you. We aren't sure why we were chosen to go thru this hardship, and we may never have the answer here on earth, but we know there is a greater power controlling everything

We will pray for you too. this has changed my son in ways I can't even count. He has matured, but how sad that a 14 yr. old was forced to grow up too fast and deal with this crap. He's so sad he can't go to school his 8th grade year and be with his friends. he can never get this time back. we can never get our $ back or our belief in people to do the right thing. This is not how this situation should have been handled. My son will never be the same. We will never be the same.

i am here for you anytime you need me.

ty same here. if you need anything at all or if i get new news of something that can help us both i will let you know.

did your case ever get resolved?

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What state are you in?

I am in Colorado

And it is not over...we were denied the dismissal. The DA did offer to us that he can go through the diversion program, which he qualified for from the beginning, but in order to do that and take their classes, he has to admit he's guilty in order to be sure that they can "fix" him through the counseling. And he has stood by his original claim of not guilty so now we go to trial. I can't believe they are going to put a 5 year old on the stand, but that is their choice and we stand by our son 100% to maintain his not guilty plea. I reflect back on her prerecorded interview and can't believe the DA can't look at that and try to find guilt in there. Her story is all over the place. OMG. So sad for my son. He can't go back to school (catholic) until this is resolved and he's in 8th grade. What do you tell people? Do we lie? How very Catholic of us...isn't that what the priests did? Do we take the school to the media to once again show how screwed up the catholic system is? this has opened a whole can of worms. Again, pray for us...for my son to stay strong through all of this crap and for my husband and I to make the right choices.

i am curious if this has ended as your posts are several months old. is there any advice you can give to a family just starting this nightmare?

No it isn't over. the nightmare continues. My son has passed a ploygraph and the DA still won't dismiss the charges. Basically, even tho she can see there is no continuity in the evidence and the fact that he has passed the poly, they wait for you to say enough is enough and plead guilty to something you didn't do. they tell us this at the beginning of every court appearance: You can still take the plea deal and admit guilt and go through these sexual appropriate classes and be done with the court system. However, he would still have to register as a sex offender until he's 19. and as he's innocent, we won't let him take the plea. now he has been asked to take a poly given by the DA's office itself. She recognizes that he passed the first one, but wants to include some other questions in the "pre-test " part of the exam...which will cost us another $650 and 4 hours of my time. My only advice is to stay strong and stay with your story. do NOT take a will get the short end of the stick. And be prepared to spend every dime you have. this has been hell. You can feel free to speak to my son anytime. he's being home schooled as he isn't allowed at school while there is outstanding sexual assault charge against him. He's missing his 8th grade year and very very sad. and pray, it's all we have. We will pray for you too.

Our pre-trial is set for feb 13th. we are having to move from our home as the kids in the neighborhood just stare at our home all the time. The cost has already killed us financially with the move added its a nightmare. our lawyer said that my son could not plea guilty because its against the law to plea on cases like this. We dont know wether to take the poly graph or not. my son is nervous about it. we really appreciated your son answering my son. and we pray every moment of every day. thank you for answering and we will also be praying for you.

I'll be thinking of you and praying for you to be free of all this!

i just looked at your wesite and i'll read it when i have time later tonight. thank you for sending it to me. I can already see it will help me understand how this can happen.

Sorry, how are you now?

Pretty freaked out as tomorrow is our court date at which time we will hopefully be dismissed. if he isn't he will not be allowed back in school (catholic school) until his trial. Given that there is no eveidence and I really can't imagine they will put a 5yr old on the stand, i can't imagine this not being dismissed. But we are also shocked it's even goine this we have just learned to expect the unexpected. Have you been in this situation?

And this is the way the court system works. Our trial date was set for the 15th of Dec. But at our court hearing in Nov., we found out that the detective who interviewed both parties, couldn't be there that date. so that put's it our another 30 days. That put us on the 20th of January. But then the judge was out of town and the date got set for the 26th of jan. over 60 days out! what ever happened to the promise of a fair and expedient trial? not so much. hmmm...In the meantime, my son has passed a ploygraph which took the DA 3 MONTHS to review! Really? It took us 3 hours to take it and the man had results to us in 24 hours. She lost the copy that was delivered to and signed for by her office and then we paid to have our lawyer hand deliver it to her. 3 months later she says yes, i see he passed it, but i need some clarification on a question asked in the pretest part of the ploy. Would he be willing to take another and we'll continue your court date from the 26th. We agreed to have him take another (he 14yr old should have to take one, let alone 2 poly's!) on the condition that she not take 3 months to review it. The continuance of the date will put us into late feb. Out of school 4 months by then. happy 8th grade year. And there is still no guarentee that she'll dismiss the charges. It really seems like she knows she has no case, but can't stop now cuz she thought originally we'd take the plea deaal just to make this go away. he said it didn't happen, and when you read the evidence, anyone can see it didn't happen! ugh....