Post

My 13 Year Old Son Was Falsely Accused Of Sexual Assault On A Minor

oct. 9th, 2010. We spent the evening at our friends house and had dinner and made cookies. This was not unusual for us to be at one anothers house at least once a month and most months, more than once. My husband and I are 47 and 43 with 3 sons: ages 15, 13 and 12 at the time. My friends kids were a 4yr. old girl (turning 5 in Nov.) and my godson, who had just turned 2. Mom (32, Dad 30) was also pregnant with baby #3 due in Dec. My youngest was not there that night. 13 yr. old LOVED the babies. Not just these babies. ALL babies. Whenever we were anywhere with little cousins, little siblings, whatever, he's always the one to say he'll watch them, play with them, sit at thier table, etc. We got home after the 30 min. drive home and I get a call from the Mom stating that her daughter has said that my 13 yr. has "touched" her on her privates. I ask my son, he says of course no, and goes to bed crying not knowing why she said that. A year later, and sticking with the same story that nothing happened that night, we finally have a hearing on the 18th of Octoer at which our lawyer is going to ask to have the charges dismissed. The printed evidence statements from the 4yr. old are all over the place..."they live in a pink house. you have to take an airplane to get to our house. It happened in 6 different rooms in the house and that it had happened over ten times". Her stement ends with her claiming that my son is 17 years old and lives next door.  They have a 17 year old boy who lives next door and they have neighborhood and block parties all of the time. But my son is the one being charged with this. Wrongly. He has never changed his story. Has offered to take a ploygraph. And in fact the detective who interviewed my son, put in the report that he didn't the accused understood the severity of what he was accused of becasue he was so calm though the inerview. Well, duh. he was calm becasue he didn't do it. I was the one crying b/c I couldn't believe my son was being put thru this.! I've gained 20 this past year, I chew my nails now and I don't care if I work out or not. My husband is angry at everyone and everything all of thime and my  poor son just can't believe he's been accused of this. My other two sons have paid the price tooo. I lost my best friend in this but more than that my son will pay for most of his life questioning everything he ever does. there is a ton more to this stroy regarding emotions, the father of the "victim", how this is handled at school while my son is on bond, who we have told and all of the changes in our lives since that night. And the anger. Oh, the anger. If you want to comment on this or add to it or ask any questions. please feel free. I need support. My son needs support. He'll be in counseling when it's done. this has truly taken this past year from us.
supersadmom supersadmom 41-45 46 Responses Oct 11, 2011

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This happened to me when I just turned 14 years-old. I was accused of doing this to my own niece; she was 4 years-old at the time. My sister's mother-in-law accused me, and it was found to be untrue, after my poor niece had to go through many physical examinations and asked many questions. I was distraught, I felt like my life was over, I was starting high school, and I was dealing with my own sexuality (I am gay, and I have known I was gay since I was 9 years-old. I am now a school teacher, and I am engaged. Here is the thing: at 15 years-old I started drinking and smoking. Then, started the drug use at the end of high school and a lot during college! Twenty-five years later, and I am still coping with this; I will be leaving this summer for a rehab program. My sincere advice is to get your son some therapy NOW!! Being told at 13 or 14 years-old that you did nothing wrong is NOT enough. I am sure my accuser was trying to protect someone in her own family; she has six children (one of the deceased from drugs), and they are all screwed in the head one way or another! During rehab, I plan to get over this and start a new drug-free life, and get all of the anger and sadness out of me! My parents should have gotten me counseling when it happened...but they did not. So, please get your son some help NOW, so he is not carrying it around for the rest of his life and ends up like me, who wasted so many years trying to mask his pain by abusing substances. I am so sorry this happened to your son and family; I can empathize with all of you! Much love to you and your son and the rest of your family! xo <3

I am so sorry to hear about what your son and family r going through my prayers go out for you and really hope for the best to come for all of you. Take care of yourself and try to walk a lot and try the green juice diet.

I realize this is old now. But my grandson is going through this now. A neighborhood dispute ended with a false allegation out of anger and retaliation against my 12 year old grandson. I believe you are in Denver. Was it by chance Douglas County? Thank you

Yes it was Douglas county. Good luck and hang in there for a long, unbelievable ride. I wish I had better words to say, but the worst thing in the world is to your child is innocent, and to hear the word victim used. My son was the victim of Douglas county inept ability to handle this.

Thank you. It is ridiculous that they can't get in front of the DA for months. My grandson missed school yesterday worrying about the polygraph. I would be too. I cannot believe a 12 year old is subjected to that. I sure hope the attorney does his job. We can't sleep and thinking of the worst.

I won't keep bothering you but I meant to say the girl's mother was NOT concerned abut her daughter playing with the kids at my son's house for four months after it happened. That should look suspicious that she is just mad. Can you fill me in on the polygraph and how your son handled it? Could you or attorney be there? And why two? Thanks so much!

So no, no one else can be in with them. My son passed the first one with flying colors. But then 2 months later the DAdecided it needed to be with a tester of THEIR choosing. It was like going to an FBI office. So intimidating and scary. And again passed with flying colors. Bc he didn't do it. Then he had to take these safe touching classes. It never seemed to end.

Thank you again. You have been very helpful.

has anything happened with your grandson's case?

Yes thank you for asking. He is finally in diversion as of last month. He has the last meeting with the diversion counselor next month and then done. Ironically it was a year ago that this started. The rigid rules in Douglas County are out of line with the offense. Two children were barely touching each other out of curiosity. But because the mother got mad at my DIL she lied and was believed. Three children paid the price because of a bitter angry woman. My granddaughter lost her best friend. But we are glad that she won't ever be in that house again. The good news is my grandchildren are closer and we all now know what these people are really like. All the neighbors on their street stay away from them now. Once my granddaughter gets to a new school next year the girls will no longer see each other. Interesting that the two girls acted like nothing happened and still laugh getting off the bus. This all sounds like they live in a high risk area. But actually it's a classy neighborhood. You just never know who lives down the street. Too bad our boys had to learn hard lessons do young. I hope it will help them to be smart as they mature. Thank you again. Hope your son is thriving and happy. -D

Did you ever gave contact with your friend after this? My daughter-in-law wants to write this mother a letter letting her know she is relieved to know them know and that her daughter will never be around them again as terrible examples She wants to let her know how disappointed she is and how she should be ashamed She was going to ask the attorney first. But I told her to let it go and be thankful it's over. It's hard to do.

Have contact. I hope karma does what it should.

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i am going through the same thing my 12yr old son has accused of touching a 7 yr old girl she said my son has been fingering her but the doctors found nothing but they are still pressing charges i am so scared we have court soon i have lost so much weight i just hope and pray and the worst thing is the little girls mom is spreading rumors and ppl calling me cursing me off im going out of y mind

Do you know the statistics on what the chances are to win the case? We're in a similar situation, 13 year old boy accused of touching his 4 year old stepsister. I believe him in that he didn't do it. I'm just wondering if we even have any chances of winning and having charges dismissed or found not true. The lawyer bills are stacking up.

I don't know the statistics, but I do know that the "victim" is the one most usually believed. not matter the proof or lack of. this ended up costing us almost $20,000. I thank God it turned out the way it did, but it was 1 1/2 years of painful and scary waiting for my son and our family. and the other family just gets to go along like everything is fine and normal and it cost them nothing. you have a chance...We got ours dismissed after 2 passed polygraphs, and a safe touching class and project my son had to do. He did everything he was asked to do and this just dragged on while they tried to get a conviction. We "won" but we didn't win. Even getting his record expunged was a nightmare. the assistant DA laughed at our attorney when he stated why we were there that day. laughed! ugh. Hang in there. Do what you can and what you have to. Stand by him. and never give up.

Your case is over now and I realize it has been a while. But it seems the court in Douglas County, CO is extremely rigid. My grandson and family have not had the opportunity to tell their side of the true story. It is frustrating that the neighbors can tell lies out of retaliation and my grandson has to suffer. I was there when the event happened a year ago and it was normal inquisitive child play. Both 10 years old engaged in touching. Both were punished and the parents discussed it. Now they are using this to get back at my daughter-in-law over a dispute. What a travesty that they are believed.

It is so sad. The only time my son was allowed to tell his side of the story was to our lawyer. Other than that we had to listen to all their side. I will be interested to see how yours ends up given that they are both the same age. My heart breaks for you all. There is no winner in this. And now my son has an attitude against police and the court system in general. I can't serve on a jury bc I heard all the twisting go the prosecutors words, etc..it makes me sick.

I hope the DA will look at the evidence. When the children did this they were punished and grounded. After two weeks this girl's mother texted and asked if she could come over and play with my granddaughter like nothing happened. For four months she spent time at my son's house a lot. My grandson stayed away from her but her mother was it concerned?! I took her places together with my grandson and granddaughter. Then when the mother got mad about another unrelated incident she called the police about this one event from last March !! This woman created some bad karma for herself to make all three of these children suffer, including her own daughter. My granddaughter lost her best friend. The girls used to be together constantly. But you are right, my grandson is now the victim. I do appreciate your responses!

The mom in my case was like a sister to me. We were so incredibly close. It truly was as though she died and I grieved such a loss. As I was grieving for all that my son lost too. Almost 6 months out of 8th grade... And the mistrust he still carries.

Hello my family has also been through this same thing and my heart saddens when I read your story cause pretty much everything you guys went through our family went through. My son was accused of touching his little 3 yr old cousin. Just like you I cried day in n day out worrying about what was going to happen to our son. We had to go through all the counseling and polygraph test after they got results that my son was innocent after a long 15 months on probation they let him off but we are still waiting to go to court next month April 14th 2014 to see if he he has to register as a sex offender smh. Question do you think it's worth suing the lady who accused my child?

My lawyer told me that i couldn't sue the accusing family. basically, it's because it isn't the parents making the accusation, it's the child. something like that. obviously, i would do anything to get the $$ back, but i can never recover the time and spirit and emotional loss my son has gone through.

you would need to gather & present all the proof that you can on his innocence

The problem is there is no proof...for either side. One side against the other and in the sexual accusation cases, the accuser is treated as innocent and the victim from the get-go.

6 More Responses

my 6 year old daughter has accused her ex step brother who is 13 years old of physically, sexually and verbally abusing her. She even said he told her he would kill me if she told me, so for a while she allowed him to touch her in secret to protect ME from harm. When she did tell me my head was in a daze, shock, denial, fear, guilt, blame, confusion etc... you name it... every emotion possible I experienced. But I believed her, her every word and I listened and I reported it to the boys father, I strongly advised him to let the boys mother know too and I told him I was reporting it to the police (not sure if he did tell her or speak to his son, because he was in shock, denial etc when I told him and got defensive - understandably). I am here to protect my child and to project her little voice, if I don't stand up for my daughter who will and what chance will she have to lead a healthy and productive lifestyle knowing shes loved, protected and cared for. How will she grow up into a wonderful woman knowing what is right and what is wrong and how to speak up for herself if no one listens to her. She doesn't understand the seriousness of what has happened to her and every now and then out of the blue she questions with a puzzled ex<x>pression on her little face "Why did he do that to me? I don't know why he did that to me?" trying to work it out in her own little head. How can I as her mother turn around and respond to such as question and tell her it happened because he is selfish, he has no empathy for others and he has taken advance of her because she is innocence and he has used her for his own sexual gratification? How can I tell her that knowing its the truth? So instead my response to her is this... "because he doesn't know the difference between right and wrong, but you do and you are a clever girl for telling mummy.. you know the difference between good secrets and bad secrets and mummy is very proud of you". For now she is happy with this response. My daughter is healthy, happy and extremely resilient, (more so then I), she always has a massive smile on her face much brighter than any hot sun on a summers day, she is my sunshine and she lives each day as if its her first without a care in the world, curious about the world around her, eager to try new things and learn (I wish I could too). I really hope that she forgets about what has happened to her and she is able to grow into a healthy adult and have healthy relationships... she is young enough to forget. I hope this doesn't come back to haunt her one day where she will reflect and question again "Why did he do that to me? and end up with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. However I will never forget, I will carry around this burden forever, this will haunt me until the day I die and I will find it hard to trust again. I have found it really helpful to read the comments on here from parents who are on the other side of the coin, whether their son is guilty and parents are in denial (natural response) or their son is innocent because it has given me an insight into your pain as parents too, you are victims too. My daughters offender has pleaded not guilty and because its her word against his there is a possibility he may even get off with it. However to be honest he is only 13 years of age so I don't even think a criminal conviction is the right outcome for him... (if he was an adult than yes it would be), I believe he needs support, education... strange... but instead of wanting to kidnap him and cut his hands off I feel sorry for him too. However I need to put my daughter first and put myself in her shoes and wonder what sort of outcome she would want from this, whether now or as an adult if it comes back to haunt her later on. Whether he gets away with it or not.. I sure he has been punished in his own head in his own way, and I hope his parents give him the attention he needs and get him support so he can grow into a healthy man and have healthy relationships too.... no more victims please. I have done my job as a parent for reporting it and later on if my daughter does remember what happened to her and questions it.... she will know that she told mummy, mummy listened, mummy believed her and mummy reported it. I really wish this didn't happen, it is a sad and sorry mess for everyone involved - everyone is a victim, both children, all parents, family members on both sides... no parent either side of the coin wants to find themselves in either situation. However sexual abuse does happen, I'm sure everyone on here has done their research and is now an expert on the subject.... it is very common and when a child says it has happened to them - we must listen and report it and allow the professionals to do their jobs and get support where needed for all parties involved, no matter what confusion is running through our heads... we need to have empathy for all involved too.. no one wants to be in this situation EVER.

We are 2 1/2 years out from the same thing, except they are half-siblings. Good for you for listening to her and being on her side. One thing that people don't know until it happens is that children are apparently incapable of making this up, there is nothing that they have in their minds until they have been exposed to it. Looking at the ages of all of these boys in these stories, these parents need to know that they probably did do it and that the boys need support to learn to not do it. I was fully supportive of my step-son getting the help he needed in a facility that could provide it, and that helped my daughter heal too, because they still love their sibling/playmate. We are still not through all of the backlash, but we will get there and you will too. Just hold on mama.

I'm really shocked that you posted this on here. My son DID NOT touch this little girl. From the beginning, I had concurred that maybe she WAS touched by someone else and blamed my son, but the story she told of that night could NOT have happened the way she said. And she told the story differently about 4 times. And still she was believed? My heart was actually broken for her that she had been touched by someone, who knows? Maybe it was grandpa? But the night of the accusation, there wasn't a time that it could have happened. Take your comments to a board for recovering molesters who have been found guilty and are getting help, not one where the parents are scared out of their wits with every emotion possible. Thank you.

my little brother has just be accused of excally the same, I came accross your story to search to see what will happen to him being wrongly accused of something he hasnt done. It is truly dreadful and my parents are in pieces. Its all just such a mess. Do you have any adive? Thankyou

my advice to you is to trust him, especially if you know that he wouldn't do something of that nature. stand by him & support him.

-Donald

i can only say to be ready for a long haul. it took a year and 1/2 from us, $20,000, and still to this day when my son sees a policeman (they lied to us) or a fireman (the dad of the supposed victim is one) he scoffs. It has changed our life. But you will get through it. Just keep in mind that the "victim" will be believed, and your brother won't. So be there for him...make sure he knows you believe him and IN him. that is all you can do.

And yes the police woman on my grandson's case lied and misled them into thinking they should talk to them without an attorney and it would be over. Big mistake! My son is so regretful he did not call an attorney sooner. He says he let my grandson down. All the police woman wanted to do was prove her case. Do not trust the police! Lesson learned the hard way.

I wish that I could help, honestly the same thing is being done with me, only I'm 21.
I wish for the best of luck to all of you

-Donald

This happen to me to ..wen I was 14 I was acaused of touching a 8 old boy. I got arrested I went to court for 8 month they were drop no prove kid was lying..but that kid finished my life I don't got friends no more People want to beeat me up all the time I drop out of school I jusr stay in the house 24 scared come out I cry every night because I feel lonely sometimes feel like killing my self and I can't stop drinking because I hate my life I can't even go to school because they will talk bad about me ..that kid ruined my life bad I wanted to be a cop but I can't no more Because I drop out.I hate my life): now I'm 17 I haven't had a friend for 4 years or a girlfriend because I was falsely accused. Please help me I'm so depressed

you have a friend with me.
I'm 21 & being accused of just wanting to touch a 2 year old.
just the thought sickens me, now my friends want to beat my ***, more than normal, my family has questioned if it's true.
I've taken a polygraph, so I guess I'll see what happens next.

sorry to hear about how messed up your life is, NO ONE deserves to be falsely accused of this when it's very clear that their innocent

-Donald

I cant tell u enough how much I feel for u all I was 13 and accused of the same thing with a 7amd 9 year old did five years in tyc cause I did plea bargain they had let me out A out on deffered probation and failed it and charged me with the bigger crime im 27 now have until im thirty till im done I am a girl also yep sucks bigand life basically ruined

Where can we find where research was done to show that kids ages 4-8 make false accusations? We find ourselves in a position that sounds almost exactly like supersadmom's.

http://familyrights.us/bin/white_papers-articles/stuckle/false_sex.htm

try to copy and paste that. I hope it helps shed some light.

This just happened to my brother a little girl we take care of told her mom that supposably my brother stuck his finger in her butt and you don't know how mad I am because not once was that little brat alone I was always there to hear this literally breaks my heart for my brother because me and my dad 100% trust him but my mom had that doubt implanted on her by the child's mother even though she trusted him 100% after I told her that I was always there that doubt killed my brother I've never seen him so sad and mad before its just horrible

I'm so sad for you and your brother and your family. I don't know where these little girls get this fantasy idea, but there is research to support the instance of false accusation by 4-8 or 9 year olds. So sad.

So sorry about this.But sadly a boy has no chance of being believed. And yes he will be branded for the rest of his life. The change laws I good meaning but it only does injustice to all.

isn\'t that the saddest truth. a boy won\'t be believed for not doing it. but a girl will be believed that it happened. that is why I won\'t let my son be alone with any of his younger 4 girl cousins. not even for a second. and he knows the rules too. not for one second.

Wow..this is crazy..it is so easy for people to believe the accuser..what about the ones being accused? this is a horrible injustice..my sisters ex husband has been trying for years to get her rights terminated..he has custody of their daughter and would do anything to make her look bad..well a few summers ago she had her for the summer and she brought her to my house a time or two to play with my daughter..now mind you we all know how this man is and he would stop at nothing to take her rights completely away if he could..he is a horrible control freak..anyway back to the story..she was with my sister the whole time they were at my house.. when they played we were within ear shot and eye shot and kept the door open not to mention constant check ups on them ..she basically doesnt let her out of her sight..so she gets papers now stating that my 11 yr old daughter molested her 8 yr old daughter..are you kidding me?! they were never alone ..she was fine all summer she never mentioned this stuff to anyone now hes stating she told people and we ignored her ..he has proven to be a liar and has lied about other things in the past..now he has tried to make it to where she(my sister) only gets supervised visitation a few times a yr he lives states away..my sister cannot afford a lawyer and we have heard nothing from anyone concerning our daughter..this man is just plain evil..he says that his daughter confided in a counselor about all this..we havent heard anything from cps or anything else and this was supposedly last summer..i just think its awful that kids this young can make an accusation and everyone automatically believes the accuser dont get me wrong i know there are times when this does happen.... but this is a serious accusation and can cause another child alot of heartache... anyway i wish the best for all of you and i hope things turn out well..God bless..

I know its long but please read it.
Just like most of us I also believe that my son is innocent. I'm writing this story because I cant comprehend if its true or lie. So this what happened. I have send my 13 year old son with his grandma to overseas-to a European country that I was born and raised, and than came to USA. We went visit our families there few years before, and we as a family were very close with all of them. My cousin-female- with her daughter whose 9 went to pick them up and drive them to the city 2 hours away from the airport. So, my cousin drives, grandma whose 53-not that old- sits in front passenger and my son and her daughter in the back seat. Half way trough she says -the 9 year old- that shes tires and sleepy and want to lie down. So she puts her head on my sons lap, sideways, facing front of the car, legs and knees band towards her belly.And last to add is that she is wearing jeans. And that was it-they drop my son off and all were happy and normal. No indication of anything whatsoever. Supposedly 2 days after-the 9 year old were very upset and said that my son-13 years old, while driving back from the airport , played with her vagina. So now where the odd part came: Neither to me- a mother, nor to grandma- or my son ever was said about what the 9 year old what she have said. It was only told by her mother-my cousin-to other family members so they will watch their kids if my son was around them, so he would not do this to others. The way we found out about it was 2 months later though other family member. But still in Europe. Who said that she only tells because everybody knows and she can't stand it for us to not know. During that time of 2 months the alleged victim-9 year old, was playing happy with my son, as kids would do. Her mother would come over to my sons house, hang out and let the kids play-run outside, ride bike and such. All this time grandma and my son had no idea that this rumor was around-they did not suspect anything.
So my questions are. 1. How come the mother of the girl never said anything? Supposedly because she did not want to have a fight with me-because I would not believe her. 2.If this is true why she still want to bring her daughter around my son?
3. even after-like right the way the molestation, the girl still want to play with my son, even when he said that hes on xbox and don't have time?
There was my other cousin who lives in USA and is very close with us. She has 2 girls, one is 7, other around 9. She asked them if my son ever touch them or try to and they both said no. This is a cousin that will come over and sleep in our house on weekends. We -adults could be outside-and the kids inside most of the time-playing. So if that could happen with them, they would have plenty of unsupervised time. The victim's mother says that she believe her daughter because she exactly described how he touched her in the car. And now all are against my son even my cousin who is here in USA-don't believe my son. To add, the girl has 18 year old brother, her parents split few times and was a big mess as she cheated on her husband. Also the 9 year old's grandpa-is kind of a pervert-he used to try to touch me and other cousins when we were teens. And the 9 year old is supervised by him-when they on break from school. I do not say that the grandpa would still do it as hes in 70's. When we eventually find out the rumor-grandma called her mother to ask about it. But the mother kept the conversation very short stating that she knows that my son did it. She never try to contact me or confront my son.
So please help-I don't know to who believe-I do believe my son , but our family is convinced that he did it. He is a nice and quiet boy, not so much into girls, never got in trouble and I have never notice a weird behavior towards other girls. I don't know how to fix his reputation or how to prove it. Should I take him to the shrink or others that could detect if he is telling a lie or truth? And my cousin who is here with 2 girls told me hat she will be on the watch out for my son to make sure that he will not do this to her daughters. Me and my husband decided that we are braking our ties with other families overseas and the one that is close to us, too.
Help-what to do? What to think? I feel like I'm loosing my mind!!!!!

Well I came across this while trying to understand why a child would say that something happed when I am sure that it did not. My best friend her husband and her daughter age 7 came over to our house unexpected one evening. We were all outside and my son age 13 was showing her daughter a new pony that we just got. He saddled the pony for her and they (her mother, she and my son) took it to the arena behind my house to ride it around the barrels. My daughter and one of their friends was also present and walked to the barn to do some chores. The arena is located at behind the barn. After riding the pony, they all returned to the house where and the girl was very bubbly acting and asked my husband how much the pony cost and if he could give them time to come up with the money for the pony. After they left the her father returns and asked to speak with my husband and son alone. I thought it was to discuss the pony. Well boy was I wrong. The little girl went home and told her mother that my son touched her. It was supposed to have happened while we were all standing around and also when he was leading her to the arena on the pony. My daughter said that she never seen my son stop the pony or even turn toward the little girl. My son is very upset and says that there is no way that he would do that. That she is like a sister to him and he would never do that. We have quizzed him over and over about helping her on the pony, etc. thinking that maybe he accidently brushed up against her. As hours went on I called the mother and with each conversation, it got worse and the story bigger. It went from him touching her once to several times and her even having to push his hand away and tell him no and the mother basically stating to me that her daughter has never told a lie and getting very upset with me for asking questions about when it was to have taken place that day. I do not believe that it happened without someone seeing anything and everyone was there the whole time. The mother stated to me that it happened when they were walking around the corner of the barn and she was closing the gate. My daughter says that they were in front of them the whole time and they were all talking about how they thought she would do on the pony and she and the friend kept looking back at my son and the girl and never seen anything. I am really upset and not sure how to handle it at this point. Any Advice would be appreciated. PLEASE.

continue to be a source of support for your son and don't waver for one second. Unfortunately, if they go to the authorities, it is out of your hands and the girls word against your son. This ended up taking about 2 years of our lives to clear up, two lie detector tests (passed both) and $20,000. It is still so hard for any of us when we mention his 8th grade year b/c it was so awful and stressful. please reach out to me for anything and let me know how things are going. You will be in my prayers. I also did a little research and the most common age for false accusations and it's 4-8 and sometimes 9 depending on the maturity. It is a documented phenomenon. And it is truly heart-breaking. I'm here for you.

thank you. I am not sure what direction this will take. It is especially hard since my son had a stroke last year and has just fully recovered. He had to learn to walk and everything again. We spent a year in and out of hospitals and was not sure he would ever walk again. I trusted God then and I trust him now. He will take care of us. I appreciate your support, as I really have no family to talk to about this situation. My son will be in the 8th grade this year. We held him back and he missed a year with the stroke. When did you find the stats on age for false accusations? That is interesting. I wonder what other stats are out there. I can't understand what triggers something like this. Again thank you so much. How is you son doing now?

http://familyrights.us/bin/white_papers-articles/stuckle/false_sex.htm
here's the site I got the info from. tony is fine now, mostly. He reflects on it sometimes. Calls the parents names for not believing him and the hell we all went through. We had kept him back as well, so your son and mine are the same age 8th graders. He does comment about how much he missed he missed his 8th grade year. I had to home school him as the Catholic school we were at wouldn't let him be there until this was resolved. but I mostly see him as ok. I NEVER let him be alone around little kids. Not b/c I don't trust hm, but b/c I'll never put him in a position (or my other sons or my sisters 3 boys) like that ever again. As it is, 2 of my cousins have little girls (3&amp;1) and I will NEVER let any of the young boys in my care be alone with them for one second. Like you said, they went around the side of the barn to the riding ring...I know now that unless I'm there, it is a little girls word against the boys. I am truly sad for you and all I can do is prya that the other family handles it like I wish our accusers would have: talked to my son and cut off the relationship but not gone to authorities. it truly was the longest 2 years of our lives. ugh. and I'm glad your son is well now. This too, can take a physical toll and I encourage you to be careful. Again, keep me posted.

Can you tell me where you are with this case?

1 More Response

Where do I start? My 15 year old son was accused my his 7 year old cousin of mollestation. One of the incidents supposedly occurred while 6 others were in the room, one being myself (his mother). My niece was not even 8 inches from her Mom at the time. My sister has a history of coaching her daughter to lie. My sister took the 7 year old to the hospital and they took photos and filed a report. Three weeks later we get CPS and Detectives calling us. We did get a lawyer. So now it's pretty much wait and see. We will be headed to court because we agree with my son being innocent.

Has there been any developments in your case?

Hey there lady! I can only imagine what your going through, I am going through some things as well, with similarities. My oldest son who is now 16, at the time of this incident was 15, and one of my younger son's who is now 6, had an issue last summer. I left my oldest son to babysit my little for about an hour while I ran to the store, when I left my oldest son was on the computer playing games and my little was playing his plug and play game on the TV. I had called twice in that time frame i was gone to check on things, when i asked my oldest if things were ok he replied yes. About two months after my little went back to his dad for the school year, he claimed his older brother had been watching **** and made him pull his weeny until he peed. This was never mentioned to us, my little never said anything during that time at all about something like that. But two months later he is like a broken record and telling his family members this had happend to him. I am so upset, i have kept my oldest away for now, until we can get to the bottom of this. I am angry because this just doesnt' seem like either one of my kids. However, they both lie. Its hard to know if this really happend or this has just been something stuck into my littles head by his crazy wacko dad. My ex never reported it, never spoke to me about it, and has never tried to get to the bottom of it, all he does is threaten and tell me he doesn't want my little around my oldest. I tell ya, this is enough to drive me nuts. However, I will stay positive in this, and keep supporting both my children, because I am their mom. I will always love my boys, and I will always let them know, they are loved, and they will feel safe at my home, whatever it takes to make that happen. Tell your son, "chin up", one day everyone will wake up and be 50, or 18 and an adult, and hopefully you won't be going through this anymore. Please take care, and find peace!

Your PenPal friend,
Christine

Can you tell me what the outcome of this was?

I am currently going through something similar with my 13 year old. He was accused by a group of kids saying he showed them his private area and 2 other kids saying he touched them on their private areas over their clothes. He has said over and over that he didn't do it and I believe him because his younger sibling was with him and I know he doesn't even play or go around some of the accusers. A witness has seen this group of kids do the exact thing they are accusing my son of to other kids and letting other kids do the same thing to them. They have a woman that I believe have coerced them into saying these things because she doesn't like my family and has constantly been making up lies and spreading rumors about us just to keep things stirred up. What's so ironic is that everyone in the group accusing him of showing them his privates has shown all of my children their private parts. As a parent I have the right to report those children as well. Also one of the kids that accused him of touching them recently got in trouble for doing the same thing to another kid but I don't know if the parent reported that incident or just dealt with it themselves but I intend on providing our lawyer with that information. My main concern is to help prove my son is innocent and to keep him safe because I believe he could be suicidal if he was found guilty and sent away from us. Any help or suggestions would be helpful. Right now its their word against his and his younger sibling who was present when it supposedly happened but apparently the investigator has a hard time believing that a group of kids would get together and make up lies like this even though they have been pulling stuff like this for years

My 12 year old son has been accused of touching his 5 year old half brother. My son's father called the cops, is pressing charges, and has told my son he is no longer welcome in his home.
My son has told me over and over he didn't do anything wrong' but no one seems to be listening to him. Only the 5 year old. We have court tomorrow so I am scared, we have a lawyer, but I worry about it anyway.
Also I worry about the aftereffects this going to have on my son. His grades are dropping and he has gotten in trouble at school 4 times since this has happened in January.
I feel like my son's father and stepmother has it out for my son.
Can a 5 year old be cohorsed and tell the story over the same every time?
I will be the first to get my son help if he did this, I already have him in counseling since this all started, but if he has been falsely accused of this then I want justice.

Can you tell me where you are with process?

Being labelled a ********* or sex offender is the worst possible social stigma a person can receive. Its unconscionable that a child has to be subjected to this stigma, which no doubt leads to the spread of all sorts of rumors and innuendo and is most likely devastating to their self esteem. This is a case where the accusation could turn out to be more devastating and more harmful in the long run than the alleged abuse. I'd sue anyone who'd unthinkingly accuse my child of such a thing.

I will be awaiting an update. I will say however, stop trying to contact your friend. That relationship is over and gone. realize that now, get ok with that in your head and move forward. I missed my friend everyday for a long time, but now the pain is not so bad. the pain for my son was so much greater, that the pain of losing my "sister" became less. stay strong and let me know if there is anything i can do to help.

Well I got an attorney as you suggested. After a week of trying to get an interview set up with the det. with no success. This morning my son was arrested at his high school and taken 20 miles away and charged with sodomy 1 and released on house arrest while waiting for his arraignment on February 12, 2013. When I took the papers into my attorney I was told by the parralegal that because my son is so close to being 16 and the seriousness of the charge he could possibly be tried as an adult. I also found out that the little girl has changed the date of the supposed event again. I am just wondering if any of this will be brought up. Oh and on a negative note my poor little boy is awaiting to see what his girlfriends ( of 1 year) dad has to say. So hoping her parents don't make them break up. He has been put through enough already not sure how this is going to go. So worried about my baby boy.

Can you tell me where things are with this case?

I would be grateful for any advice. x

Oh my GOD !! This is happening to me and my family. It is tearing us apart ! I am so sorry to hear this about your son. My son is at court next week and our solicitor is pleading not guilty.
I do not sleep very well any more and my two eldest sons 21 and 23 are so upset. Jeanette

how did your court date go? and may i ask what state you are in?

We are going through the same thing, but it is my sons step sister that has accuse. She is 5 years old and my son is 12. My husband (his daughter is the accuser) is sure that it never happened as well as everyone that knows my son. My son has been removed from our home because I have a 3 year old also. We are so upset thankfully they let him go to my mothers house. Im at a lose as to what to do. This has only happened 4 days ago and with the holiday I cant get a hold of a lawyer. Questioning starts Thursday. Any advice would be wonderful.

how is everything going?

This is happening to my 12 year old son his 5 year step sister is accusing him. I am so scared and so is my son. We are just waiting for the results of all the exams and forensics i pray that everything gets clear. I know my son is not capable of this. my son cries everynight and he is scared and cant believe she would do this to him for he loves her like his own sister. But we know it her mother coaching her

hang in there and keep me posted. and sadly, it will be the word of the 5 year old that is taken over the word of your son. my son just said the other day that this whole thing ruined his life and I thought he had moved on after all the charges were dismissed. i'm so sad for him.

You story is almost like mine except it was not friends it is family and there was no phone call to talk about my son and his wife went to the police. Our whole family has TURNED against him, saying she(a 5 year old) would not say it if it wasnt true. Me, his mother, and his other grandmother is all that beleives in him. He is so depressed, he is seeing a counslor, but he told my grandson that he is moving to another state.At first she told her mom that he touched her through her clothes and when they vidieo her she says he pulled her panties down and touched her. He was aressted at school and does not want to go back. Why should a young people have to go through this just by a child saying this no proof just say so? i CAN NOT EAT, SLEEP OR STOP THINKING OF THE WHAT IF'S?

can you tell me what's going on now?

What happened?

my son's case was dismissed but it took nearly an act of congress to get his record expunged, which we just found out had gone thru this week. 2 years and 3 months and almost $20,000. gone. just like that. i have a lot of anger, but my son is doing well. just glad to have it over.

This is happening way too much this day and age of hysteria. You are guilty until you all your energy and time and money trying to prove your innocence. kangaroo courts is what we have, they are set up to force people to plea bargain not to fight for themselves in a trial. Until you have someome you know have this happen too, you don't realize how it ruins innocent peoples lives. All over the internet before any conviction, how is someone suppose to pick themselves up after something like this? People need to hear about all the wrongly accused cases and all the hell it causes and how can that be o.k? What has happened to this society? The more people hear the more they can judge with some education and rationality.

HI, im sorry to hear of your story and hope it was dropped. I am on the other side of the fence and maybe you can help me decide what to do. My four year old says that her eleven year old cousin touched her and "married kissed" her. She does say details and it is very consistent each time. It has been a year and still about once every other month she says something. Now our nephew is a very good kid. He doesnt seem troubled in anyway and says nothing happened and was grossed out by it. I am soo torn on what to think, feel or react. Everybody, my husband, grandparents sister in law believe she is lieing. I have a hard time not believing her because, one, somebody has to be on her side, and two, how would she know about a penis or sexual acts if she wasnt abused. I dont know what to do we will never know what happened and i wont press charges if im not certain. However if it did happen and we dont act, my nephew wont get the help he needs to prevent or just talk about it.

i have to say, i would feel as conflicted as you and i don't for one second hold against my friends that they taked to a psychlogist and she had to report. however, reading all that i have in the past few years, the false accuastions by this age group are incredible. if my friend would have let me be involved at all, i would have had a sit down with them, their daughter and my son and made her tell the story to me in front of him. my biggest fear is that she was abused by someone else, so with them going forward, i was really hoping the truth would come out, my son be cleared, and her real abuser be found. but even in her interview she said "he's 17 and lives next door" and that was never investigated. they have a 17year old boy neighbor and we live 30miles away and my son was 13. i don't know what the right answer is...there is no right answer. I have even talked to my friend and told her my son's story never changed and he passed 2 polygraphs and she ultimatley said "well, i have to believe my daughter". kids lie. did she touch herself and it felt good and she felt guilty so she had to say someone else did it? who knows. and how sad. $20,000 later and still waiting for the case to be expunged. We are going out of town soon ad the family we would have this sone stay with has 2 younger girls so i won't do it.. i'll never put any one of my 3 boys in a position of her word against his. never again will one of them be alone with a neighbor, a cousin, a friend, anyone. i will protect them until i die. if yu go forward, know that it will change your relationship with your nephews family forever and they will never be the same either. my advice to you is talk to them both together, watch facial expressions on the him, and see where that discussion goes. if you don't file, i would never let them be alone together. you must be vigilant and aware. i also agree that if my son DID DO it, i wanted him to get help. and if something DID happen to her, no matter by who, i wanted her to get help. she was very clear too, and said when my son put his finger in her, he went ugh, ugh, ugh...wwhen i asked my son about that, he was grossed out and didn't know what i menat. he didn't start ************ until he want to a psychiatrist for sexual deviation testing. thank god i was in the room with him...i had to explain half the **** to him. that day changed him forever. he learned a life time of bad **** in one afternoon. well, i hope i helped. i wish we could have talked to the parents with both kids before the moved forward but the dad would have none of that. back in my parents day, that is how it would have been handled. little kids lie for reasons we don't know. there are some great resources out there about false accuasations. let me know what you decide.

can you let me know how you decided to go on this?