33 Years Later I Was Found By My First Love On Facebook And I Love Him So
My first love, we met when I was 15 we were together for 3 years. I was in a foster type care situation and the love he gave me was so unbelievably good and deep we loved each other so much. We were both the same age and still at school. I fell pregnant and was so afraid of what would happen that I had a secret abortion. I was so ashamed of what I had done that I could not face him and pushed him away making him think that I did not love him anymore. I just wanted to get away from everyone I knew so that I could forget the pain. I got the opportunity to go to another country and I took the opportunity to make a new life for myself. Inside it always rained thinking about my lost love. I got married and had two children and every now and then the rain in my heart would overwhelm me thinking about him. My first and true love. I did google search for him and wrote to each person I came across hoping it was him but it never was. I wondered if he had died because I could never find any hint of him anywhere.
Then on the 1st may 2009 on facebook he made contact. My heart stopped I could not believe it. We started emailing each other. The feelings we had for each other was still there. It did not take long before I gave him the reason why I had run away from him. I think we both cried. It would have been a son. I had not told anyone and after 36 years I was actually admitting to it out loud. I cried for days. I told my husband and my children and they were stunned. Of course I could not remain with my partner when I had such strong feelings so I moved out and went and stayed with my daughter.
My first love had turned on all the lights inside me on and I did not have the control to switch them off although I tried I could not push him from my mind. I just wanted to see him, be with him again. Just one more time.
For a long while now I had become to think I was frigid as I was not interested in sex anymore. But my feelings for my first love I felt like a young girl again. Would we still feel the same when we met in person.
We made plans to meet up again and I travelled to his country for a work assignment during which I would have the opportunity to see him. He had changed so much physically but his face was still the face I knew, his beautiful eyes, him smile. God I loved him so.
It was like a river finding its way to the ocean we found each other again. We were in each others arms again and nothing else mattered.
For 4 days under table mountain we could be together and I still have to work as well but it did not matter we could spend the nights together. It was heaven.
We felt young and beautiful again. And then we had to go back to our real worlds again. Me back to my country and him back to his wife and family.
He told me that he found it difficult to make love and that he was seeking medical help but with me he was young again like we were before.
Our bodies spoke to each other in a way that words could not. Body memories I call it We knew each other still so well We could not get enough of each other. We just held each other and it broke our hearts to separate again and go back to our worlds.
We talk on the phone once a week just to keep in touch wih each other so that our hearts are not torn out completely by the loss of not having each other. The connection we have with each other is not of this world. It has stood the time of 33 years and it just won't be subdued.
I look at young lovers and I smile because I know the power that such a young love can be.