33 Years Later I Was Found By My First Love On Facebook And I Love Him So

My first love, we met when I was 15 we were together for 3 years. I was in a foster type care situation and the love he gave me was so unbelievably good and deep we loved each other so much. We were both the same age and still at school.  I fell pregnant and was so afraid of what would happen that I had a secret abortion.  I was so ashamed of what I had done that I could not face him and pushed him away making him think that I did not love him anymore.  I just wanted to get away from everyone I knew so that I could forget the pain.  I got the opportunity to go to another country and I took the opportunity to make a new life for myself.  Inside it always rained thinking about my lost love.  I got married and had two children and every now and then the rain in my heart would overwhelm me thinking about him. My first and true love.  I did google search for him and wrote to each person I came across hoping it was him but it never was.  I wondered if he had died because I could never find any hint of him anywhere.

Then on the 1st may 2009 on facebook he made contact.  My heart stopped I could not believe it. We started emailing each other. The feelings we had for each other was still there. It did not take long before I gave him the reason why I had run away from him. I think we both cried.  It would have been a son.  I had not told anyone and after 36 years I was actually admitting to it out loud.  I cried for days.  I told my husband and my children and they were stunned. Of course I could not remain with my partner when I had such strong feelings so I moved out and went and stayed with my daughter.

My first love had turned on all the lights inside me on and I did not have the control to switch them off although I tried I could not push him from my mind. I just wanted to see him, be with him again. Just one more time.

For a long while now I had become to think I was frigid as I was not interested in sex anymore.  But my feelings for my first love I felt like a young girl again. Would we still feel the same when we met in person. 

We made plans to meet up again and I travelled to his country for a work assignment during which I would have the opportunity to see him.  He had changed so much physically but his face was still the face I knew, his beautiful eyes, him smile.  God I loved him so.

It was like a river finding its way to the ocean we found each other again. We were in each others arms again and nothing else mattered.

For 4 days under table mountain we could be together and I still have to work as well but it did not matter we could spend the nights together. It was heaven.

We felt young and beautiful again. And then we had to go back to our real worlds again.  Me back to my country and him back to his wife and family.

He told me that he found it difficult to make love and that he was seeking medical help but with me he was young again like we were before.

Our bodies spoke to each other in a way that words could not.  Body memories I call it   We knew each other still so well  We could not get enough of each other. We just held each other and it broke our hearts to separate again and go back to our worlds.

We talk on the phone once a week just to keep in touch wih each other so that our hearts are not torn out completely by the loss of not having each other.  The connection we have with each other is not of this world. It has stood the time of 33 years and it just won't be subdued.

I look at young lovers and I smile because I know the power that such a young love can be.

nofrost nofrost
11 Responses Apr 4, 2010

I can understand the "body memories" of being w/ our first real intimate shared relationships, but as I consider this & read it?
All I can think is that we are a bunch of self involved babies living in a dream world.
Things & times have changed.
Yes, for a rare few I suppose this could be a reality, but this is dreaming friends...
Just a case of middle aged melancholy & the grass is always greener...
Did you ever stop to think that because things never had the chance of progressing to an adult, REALITY & real life situation; that it is easy to romanticize it?
If the relationships you have are null & void, you have done all you can, than okay.
But otherwise, this is selfish, utterly cliche non sense that you are all dallying with.
Be with the "first love" in a way that you have with your current partners & see how it differs.
People are people, relationships are not edited versions like in the movies.
I'm ashamed of myself for even considering contacting my first after reading this stuff.
At the very least, if you do go forth, please be honest with your present people.
Put yourself in their shoes before you leap.

Oh my god.. your story has me in tears right now. My situation is so similar. I found my 1st love again about 1 year and1/2 ago. We have talked frequently. About a month before I called to reconnect he got married to someone that he felt obligated to because get helped him through hard times.
Well just recently he came over and the feelings that we felt for each other all those years we m were together as teens are still there. It has been such a long time since I have felt loved like this amd he is very unhappy in his marriage.
I am not one to want to break up a marriage but I strongly feel if he is not happy and he is happy with me. Then I shouldn't feel bad.
I know in my heart and soul that he is THE ONE. And i want him to spend the rest of his life with me HAPPY. l haven't been intimate with anyone in a really long time and was very nervous about him coming over but it was the best night I have had in many many years and we just melted together in each others arms. I wish you the best. Amd hope you will keep me in your thoughts and prayers that I also have my happy ending.
Thanks so much for sharing your story.

I too have this problem, as I have been happily married for 26 years.<br />
33 Years ago my first love and I got caught skipping school. We had wanted a day by ourselves. After getting caught I knew her mother thought this was the reason for skipping school and was very mad at me. I cant remember things after this very well but I was thinking she had started to loose interest in me and started having interest in someone else. I stopped coming around and soon later joined the army. <br />
In boot camp I called her, she hung up on me. Later maybe a year, I called again and she said she had been pregnant but didn't know until she started to give birth! I believed her and still do as she is a very honest person. This was not my child.<br />
It seemed as tho she wanted me but I wasn't sure. I thought about it all the time for three days and kept calling her to see if she wanted me. I would have married her if she had asked. She didn't and that was that.<br />
Five or six years later I was in a relationship with another girl and we had just broke up. My first love had called my mother and got my phone number. she called me and said she would like to see me. I went over and visited her that night and the next. She was unhappy with her marriage. She had this young kid and I kept thinking about him, I didn't want to be the reason his mom and dad broke up.<br />
I drove home and got a call from my ex girlfriend, somehow she had a dream that I had been with my old girlfriend and when I said I had been she said she was coming the 1000 mile trip up to see me.<br />
I went back with my girlfriend. A couple years later we married. Now 28 years later I was poking around on fb and found my first love. It was only going to be to see how she was doing.<br />
We started out just telling each other little things about what we had been up to us talking about what ever happened to us. She said she was so hurt by me stopping coming over and didn't have another boyfriend for so long after me. I told her I had thought she had lost interest in me and had started having interest in someone else, she said no that she had no idea who I may have thought it would have been.<br />
The more we talked the old feeling started pouring in. I now love her as much as I did 33 years ago. She says it's the same for her. We both have great marriages.<br />
I don't know what to do, I feel that I should have been with her for the past 33 years and I love my wife. I really want both but understand it has to be one. I think it's the same for my first love.<br />
What do I do?

I am a 55 years old guy.I just met my first girl friend after 36 years on Face book. We are both married, and our children are grown up and they live on their own. My wife already know about it and have lots of problem. Our marriage was not a very happy one either, although we are married for 32 years.<br />
Look like we are both(me and my Ex) confused and puzzled. We both have strong feeling for each other and I hardly get any sleep. All what I do is listening to all kind of romantic music.My life was empty until this happened . All I want is now is to be with her.I just don't care what the world has to say, as their are not a single divorce in our family circle.I am pretty sure she too must going through lots of problems at that end. Right now we both live in different countries. That does not bother me, as long as she is ready to take the next step. I will keep you posted<br />
the outcome of this in the near future

I fell in love with my first love when I was 18.... we worked together and he was afraid to ask me out, so when I went away on holiday he decided to get married; needless to say I was heartbroken. So, I decided to forget him. When he came back after his honeymoon, our two year affair started. We loved each other deeply and it was simply perfect. I was guilty of what was going on and he also had a child. So I decided to leave him. He left with his wife and child to another country and when they came back for a holiday the year after, it was evident that we still loved each other. The last time I saw him was 16 years ago, and I had tried my best not to show him my feelings and I had managed, so much so that he thought that I no longer loved him....<br />
<br />
The truth was that not one day went by that I did not think about him.... in the meantime, I got married to a lovely man, however, my thoughts were always wondering where my first love could be.. I looked him up but never managed.<br />
<br />
This year he found me ... we contacted each other, met and the moment that he hugged me, I knew that I never stopped loving him. He still lives away, and we still contact each other every day.... he still lives with his wife and me with my husband... we both cannot leave our families and we both love each other beyond desc<x>ription... it is a very hard situation.<br />
<br />
There are days when I feel happy to know that my first love really loved me and still does, and others when I wish I had the courage to speak the truth... <br />
<br />
So we are living one day at a time, hoping that one day we could be together.

I had my first true girlfriend when i was in elementary school, i was in 4th grade. I have had 2 others through school so far until my senior year of high school. I was in math class the other day and we started talking about first girlfriends. I started thinking about her. "Lucy" was her name. I really miss her. During recess in 4th grade, she gave me a note, i didn't even know what it was about, and i ripped it up in her face. I honestly cant remember the reason why i did that. She broke up with me after. After we broke up, i gave her roses with the thorns cut off so she would take me back and so she wouldn't get hurt. I saw that she liked it deep inside, but she just shoved it in her backpack. I was crushed. I have recently seen her facebook profile, should i contact her, or leave her alone? I truly miss her, i really want her back. But i dont know if she has even thought of me since. It has been 8 years. What do you think?

i fell in love, but it was more then that... when we are together its the most magical thing in the world i felt like i could finally breath and i love him more then i can bare. i know he felt the same way we are truly sole-mates. something went wrong though...essentially he started getting very angry with me and when we fought he made everything my fault. it was crazy, im harmless..... he called me horrible things and his family tried to drive him away from me because they didnt like who he was turning into (his dad) and his temper is unexplainable. i didn't even know what he yelled about and he blamed me.... for everything... he really thinks im all these horrible things when im not. i only loved him and i never stood up for myself. the thing that held us together was when we made love. we have an amazing connection that made everything ok. in the end it wasn't enough. we met to young. its only been 3 months since he left me and the moment he left me i died. i dont feel like im here anymore. the only thing getting me through each day is that i have to believe we will find each other again and it will be different. he is my heart body and sole and i cant survive without him. im young but he is my sole-mate and we are meant to be together. im in constant agony... the night he left i was admitted to hospital because i had these screaming fits. they stopped after 3 days. im broken. the only way il survive is if i know we will be together again. i know together we could be the happiest people on earth. i need him to find me once he has found himself.

I, too, have found my first love after 25 years apart. He was 13 and I was 14 when we met. We went a a few "dates", but nothing happened. We remained friends, and when I was 19, I had recently broken up with a boyfriend , when my true love and I went out on a date. I found out right before the date that I was pregnant with my old boyfriend's baby. It was devastating to us both. I did the right thing, and married the boyfriend, never seeing my true love again. Then 25 years almost to the day later, I see him at a reunion, and we started seeing each other. I have been divorced for 11 years, but he is still married. He is torn between duty and responsibility and the one he loves. I even broke it off with him for nearly six months (no contact at ALL), to see if it was real. He called me and we both realized it is Hell to be apart. We are seeing each other again, and he has told his wife that he is not happy, does not love her as he should, and does not see it getting better. He did not tell her about me. I love him so much, and he looks at me the same way he did at 15. We have cried, prayed, talked, stopped talking....life is too short to give up happiness and true love. I do not want a life without him anymore. I have never been in love with anyone but him, and I know he was the one I was meant to be with.

I can relate to your story because the same happened to me , well almost but i had met my first real love after about 33 years at fb also and we had to seperate again also .

I have had a similar experience, reconnected with my first love after 22 years. I could never have prepared myself for how I felt to hear his voice again over the phone. Then to see him and feel his arms around me again after all this time totally erased the time we had spent apart. It was magical. But both of us being married to other people makes what should be the happiest time of my life the most complicated situation I've ever had to face. I'v never stopped loving him and I never will.

wow that is exactly the way I ended the relationship with my first love my 1 true love I have seen pics of him today and you described the way he looks. I sent a message thru someone becuz of the death of his mother. But I have not talked to him becuz he is married. I will always luv him mind heart body & soul.