Came As A Total Shock To Me...So my boyfriend and I have been together for almost eight months. He has expressed his desire to marry me after we finish college, and so have I. I understand that while we aren't necessarily too young to say that, we still have a good amount of years before he's done with school (Pharmacy, you see). Anyway, we are currently in a slight long-distance relationship and I only see him on weekends.
Now, before this happened, he's required me to change before. He didn't like that it was hard for me to talk about what was bothering me, and so it was something I eventually overcame for him. He didn't threaten to leave me then.
This time, we got into an argument and he says he had been questioning our relationship as a result of it. He refused to talk to me for about an hour during the fight as a result of something I had said ("I didn't do sh!t") and he told me he'd "let me think about that for the rest of the night." I felt as though I were a child and he was putting me in time-out... I never said anything about it though, at that point I was frantic with wondering if he'd leave me and I couldn't make it worse.
We eventually got around to talking about it that night. He said that we don't talk enough at all on the phone or in person.
I've always naturally been a more quiet person, and so has he. We talk all day through texting pretty much while I'm away at school. He says we need to change the amount we talk over the phone/in person or else he thinks we'll grow apart, break up, and he "doesn't want to be disappointed." I've agreed to try and be more talkative with him, but he's so pessimistic about it. He acted like we were doomed to fail and no longer talks about the future. He says he's giving it "a chance" but I don't feel like he's really into it,
I called him later the next day after I came home from school. We talked for a half hour, with me chatting away like an idiot, trying to show I could change if he gives me the time I need. Afterwards he said he feels more confident about us. He still hasn't brought up the future at all, but honestly, I don't think I could handle it if he did.
We've been so nice to each other today over text, using smiles and laughs and him saying how much he wants to hug me and "never let go." That hurts me so much when he says it... I thought he wasn't sure about us? Why would he say words like "never" and "forever?" I don't know what to think at all anymore. I feel like my happy texts are forced. I desperately want to move past this, but I don't know what's going on with him. I'm so hurt that as soon as we hit a hard spot, he considers ditching... if he really had wanted to marry me, wouldn't he want to be confident about our ability to change? Haven't I already shown him that I can change if necessary?
He still acts so happy, and I'm pretending I am, too. He says he's "so lucky to have me because I have so much faith in him," and he admits he still only feels "more confident." I don't know if I believe this sudden happiness.
I'm seeing him this afternoon. Wish me luck.
Adosia 18-21, F 6 Responses 0 Nov 19, 2010