4th of July

Had an extremely busy day, started  about 6:30, woke up so depressed I wanted to get in my car and just drive away... the kids,3 plus family's were coming to have dinner,swim,fireworks the whole nine yards. I get like this every so and so.. I missed my husband so much I found it hard to breath, at times I just feel like I want to just curl up and just die, I have wonderful children, grandchildren and they all love and need me to be here with them and I love all of them so, but there is this constant sadness. a friend of mine wrote me a little note this morning,thanking me for my encouragement .... funny right!  it kinda hit me that I have purpose to not only my family but to an extended family, friends old and new , people I haven't met yet . By my encouraging him I found and find that I 'm being renewed, I have to find a way to move on,take the steps I need to take to make that a reality.This evening I received another note and I have thought about all the advise I have given him... well what do you know it's all the things I also need to heed. Ironic the way things work out, I should be thanking him.He is facing his problems with courage and I have to do the same. I do want to love and be loved again, my husband will always be in my heart, but I need to start this new chapter in my life,with Gods direction I know I'll be ,OK
grams grams
56-60, F
6 Responses Jul 8, 2007

Thanks Chel, I have been Blessed with the love of my life and wonderful children,I'm happy with my lot in life but miss the shareing,all the wonderful things I had with my love...Sometimes I think it selfish to ask for more....

Grams, I am positive that you have the strength, and the soul to move forward, and I'm positive you will find love again. You are an inspiration.... *smile*

I like that It's all about me, he he... I have never lived my life in that manner, but in this case it makes sence...

Very awesome story Grams, I had learned this some time ago, i have been through my own horrific experiences, and felt the healing the minute I found someone who hurt as well and i gave them encouragement, and to this day I continue to heal, it is like medicine to me, and can sometimes become what they phrase as a natural high, the greatest thing to give to others what we needed in our darkest times. I get many thanks but... I throw in my sense of humor and say "it's all about me" he he he cause I really feel it does me just as much good as I am doing for others *Smiles* Thanks for your story Grams!

Thanks Jess, Yes I believe in God, he has been with me through out my life guiding me and I have been blessed in so many ways. Leave your self open and ask for guidence.

very inspiring ....I have gone back and forth in my heart whether I believe in god ....I want to ...I don't know ..........but I'm sure too that you will be ok :)