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I'm So Tired ..... I Don't Know How Strong One Person Is Expected to Be!
A personal story in the experience: I Was In a Car Accident
Sep 13th, 2008
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n December 25th 2005 my life changed forever when an unknown driver crossed the center line and hit me head on. I was very fortunate to have the life saving support of some amazing paramedics who knew my only chance at survival was to break protocal and take me directly to VGH a trauma center. This coupled with with an angel or two that were with me made the difference between life or death. Being the holiday and due to the fact that police could not locate my next of kin I spent those touch go hours with a chaplin. My family finally found me late Christmas afternoon.
Since then lifes been in slow motion. My first hospital stay was over a month with allot of that time in ICU. I've been in and out of the hospital many times since then. I was so happy back then. At the beggining I was so happy to be ALIVE thankful to be breathing I was so sure everything could be worked out......
It's almost three years and I'm getting tired. So much has happened and I'm trying really hard to stay possitive. It's hard to stay possitive when you've had ten surgeries. I've been in chronic pain since the accident. I had every bone in my face broken and the piece just don't seem to fit together the same way. I don't recognize the face in the miror. I know I should be happy I'm alive but sometime I feel like a stranger in my body. I feel like a stranger in my life its all slowly dissapearing. Some days I'm ok with it other days I'm just not. My worlds just so messes up. I know its temporary but it still not ok. For as small my life has has gotten in some ways the relationships I do have, have become richer then ever before. I feel truely bless for all I have. I love my friend and family so much. One of the greatest things to come out of this accident is my bestfriend and lifeline my dog Floyd. I was urgered to get him to help me. Floyd.... he brings a smile to my face and give a reason to get up and moving each day.
As for the who did this? Jaggitt is the coward who crossed the center line and hit me. He was charged with the crime six months after the accident. He lawered up with a high priced lawer and has been playing games for the last two years. He has pled guily to one count but retracted one of his pleas so we have to wait to go go back to trail in December of this year . It will be three years I will never be the same I have a brain injury, I have facial difiguration, chronic pain, phycholgical pain, the list could go on and on but why complain and the most he will get is two years most likely house arest. Where is the justist? How can someone just leave a person like an animal on the road to die? Where has our humanity gone?
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  | Posted Sep 13th, 2008 at 3:49AM wow man...sorry that had to happen. You're right there isn't any justice at all for something like this...this man was an idiot for what he did....your upset and I understand your anger toward the situation...This is something that will never leave his conscious and his guilt will haunt him forever. You've done a good job at staying positive and I really hope that things get better for you.   |
 | Posted Sep 13th, 2008 at 8:43PM I'm so sorry that you have had to endure this kind of pain. But know this...you will live your life knowing that you are the better person than this individual who hurt you. All the lawyers in the world cannot give him a good night's sleep or erase the nightmares from his conscience when he does sleep. As hard as it may sound, try to find some sort of forgiveness in your heart. For in doing so, you will prove who is in fact the better man and you'll feel a weight lift as well. I know of what I speak here, I just recently found forgiveness for someone who hurt me many years ago and I wish with all my heart, I had found it earlier....I feel at least that part of my life has some peace in it. God Bless. |
 | Posted Sep 26th, 2008 at 2:56PM MY DEAR,MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU.I FEEL YOUR PAIN AND SADNESS.I WAS IN A SMALLER SCALE WRECK 2YRS AGO,IT LEFT ME WITH A SHORT TERM BRAIN ISSUE,AND SEVERE BACK PAIN.I HAVE BEEN TO PHYSICAL THERAPY FOREVER,DRS ,MRIS,IT IS ALL EXHAUSTING.I WILL HAVE THESE ISSUES FOREVER.PLEASE KNOW YOU ARE LOVED AND NEEDED.KNOW I AM HERE PRAYING FOR YOU,HOPING YOU WILL BE SMILING AGAIN SOON.PLEASE TAKE CARE GOD BLESS YOU I TRULY UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE GONG THROUGH.ARE YOU ABLE TO RECEIVE ANY RELAXATION SERVICES LIKE GENTLE TOUCH?IT MAY HELP YOU,IT HELPED ME.IT IS LIGHT MASSAGE.TAKE CARE'''''I WILL CHECK UP ON YOU FROM TIME TO TIME''' |
 | Posted Sep 26th, 2008 at 5:59PM Dear myLoftysunshine, After such a story, I feel I want to enfold you in a big, big hug... Many of us go through these "accidental" happenings in our lives - I've been through a few, but none as horrendous as that. And life does change, abruptly and permanently for this embodiment. But you survived; and there must be a good reason for that. How wonderful that you make the effort to look on the bright side and try to make the best of your life from here on in... as you say, its not a permanent disability, but is confined to this life. And its likely that someone will be encouraged by your example to meet their own situation with fortitude and courage... As for the peson who banged into you... well, it will have been a life-changing experience for him too... He had the opportunity to do the right thing by you afterwards, and it seems he is fighting instead. The wish to survive seems to take over, even if its at another's expense. But the opportunity was there for him to do the right thing, and he didn't take it. He will face that again some day. Meanwhile, I think you will find yourself developing extra strength of character and making a number of new friends, so - keep cheerful and may some miracle help you in your bid to recover in the most complete way possible! Sincerely, - - Waiwera +3 nods |
 | Posted Sep 27th, 2008 at 1:20AM Thank you for sharing your story, myLoftySunshine. I'm sorry that this has happened to you, but you appear to be a strong individual and you will make it. The only thing that is harder to get over than your injuries, is depression. Depression is my nemesis. I'm not sure of a cure, and I'm not into medications for it. I think mine is situational but when it hits, it hits hard and I spiral, for sure. You're being hard on yourself, and I understand. But screw what people think. I am my own worst critic. I'm not sure the extent of the dis figuration, but if people want to judge you, then f@#% them. You gotta dunk yourself into indifference, and let the judgment bead off of you like water off of a waxed car. Again, f@#% them. Let this "shape" who you are, and not solely "define" who you are. With respect to justice, I believe that if this ******* never apologized to you and is fighting in court, then he has no remorse. If you can find it in your heart, I say forgive the worthless bastard anyway as mollyp said above. The Judge that we will all stand before because of our sins will provide the justice in the end whether it is provided here on earth or not. I'm not sure how these work, but I'm sure there are some great support groups where you can meet people that have been where you are and were able to overcome the psychological battles and have way better advice then what I'm inadequately trying to impart. EP is great for unloading and venting, but you could actually meet people face to face, and I think that would be good. Truly knowing you're not alone in this by seeing for yourself is better than being told you're not alone, but you are not alone. Best wishes to you, amigo(a). ChopinWood |
 | Posted Sep 28th, 2008 at 5:20AM Hey...my heart goes out to you... I urge you to keep on living your life, and always remember to be kind to yourself. Don't forget, you suffered (and survived) brain trauma - and noone comes back from that the same. (I know,because I was in an accident 7 years ago and in a deep coma for over a week). Yes, you do have to watch your life as you knew it disappear. Yes, you have to rebuild it...and it isn't easy. And yes, there will be times when you will be so tired (don't forget this is a normal side effect from brain trauma) and people won't understand you...not because they don't want to, but because they haven't been through what you're going through. But one way of keeping your head straight is to stay close to the people who matter, whose love is REAL..ie: unconditional. Things get better, life doesn't die. My life is so much richer than it was, I understand so much more...and yes, I also suffered injustice in the accident, and it is still hard to accept. But - love yourself. You're still here and I'm glad you are! I send you an enormous hug. +2 nods |
 | Posted Sep 28th, 2008 at 10:04AM Truly sorry to hear about what has happened to you. I'm a firm believer that there are no accidents. This might sound odd or horrible and I'm sorry if it does, I'm not real good with saying what is in my head. But here it goes. Before you were born you chose this to happen, (which says allot about what kind of beautiful person you are inside) you chose this because someone or several someone's in your life will learn lessons of love, passion, forgivieness, and all kinds of other life lessons from you and what you are going through. Maybe you should ask the ones close to you, what have they learned since this has happened. I will send my prayers to you and if you would like I will send Reiki. I strongly, suggest you learn about Reiki, I know it can help you and your pain. It is a Universal Life Force Energy that can help relax, and heal. There are prationers all over the world and if you chose you could learn it yourself and treat others. I admit I have never been through the physical pain your going through but I did go through the mental pain and I can honely say it's gone. Because of Reiki, it will take several treatments, it's very safe and non-invasive, it does'nt hurt. And I promise it will help if you give a true chance. If your able to respond to this, pelas let me know if it's okay for me to send you some long distance. I am happy to do it, but i can only do it if you want it. Best wishes for your recovery. Betty Lou |
 | Posted Sep 29th, 2008 at 2:23AM I just wanted to say that you are a very courageous & strong woman. Don't lose sight of that, even in your darkest hour. I think determination has a lot to do with it too. I think you are here for a reason even if it's just to share your story & your strength with others. You have really made me feel like putting my life & my issues into perspective. Try not to let the anger control you. It just wasn't right what he did to you. But it never will be. If you ever want someone to chat to or email to I will be here. +2 nods |
 | Posted Sep 30th, 2008 at 10:27PM I hope the other driver gets a visit from the revenge angels. If you were my family I would have already gone and burned his face with petrol. Nothing will ensure justice for his selfish actions and subsequent denial of his responsibility. may he burn in a car crash. |
 | Posted Oct 9th, 2008 at 6:57PM Listen to Waiwera. That person is the one filled with compassion for you. I pray that you will heal quickly and discover the "reason" it happened. Speedlimit55 |
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I'm So Tired ..... I Don't Know How Strong One Person Is Expected to Be!
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