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I Caused a Fatal Car Accident

I was in a car accident, July 2008.  It was a fatal accident and I was the cause.  It was a beautiful summer day and I was on my way to the lake.  I have no idea what happened, but my car crossed the center line and I hit someone head-on.  They did not survive.  No, I was not drunk, on the cellphone or on drugs.  No one knows why I crossed into the other lane.  I am having problems with the fact that I killed someone even though it was an accident.  How do I forgive myself and move on.  I do not know anyone who was the cause of a fatal accident and I need support.

melbell melbell 41-45 37 Responses Jun 1, 2009

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I also had this happen to me. I was 17 at the time. I am now 30. I was speeding. Just young and dumb. Going threw some curves and flipped the car 7 times or so. I can still hear and see it in my mind to this day. My girl friend was thrown from the car and she died soon after i found her about 100 yards away. It took ems awhile to get there so it seemed. But causing the accident. Then to watch her life slip away was two totaly differnt things. I still just break down and cry and wonder where she would be today. I really loved her alot. Her parents are solid christian people and say they have forgiven me. But it doesnt make it any easier or better.i hurt for them deeply. Im not the real victum here i know but I still have the quilt. I cant forgive myself and i doubt i ever will. Forgiving ones self is something that you need to do everday and its part of letting go. I dont want to let go i feel if i do i let her go competly and that doesnt seem right. I now have a wife and two kids. That helps me from not just giving up on life completly. I know your pain but it does get easier as time passes i do promise you that. God bless you all. And if this happiens to anyone out there make good come from it or its all for nothing.

Yesterday, I was in a my first car accident and it was all my fault.... I was driving down a 45 mile per hour road and I had a lot on my mind from the day and i didnt realize i was coming up on a construction zone. The person was dead stopped in front of me and i was about 20 feet away when i realized i needed to stop but by then it was too late.. I breaked as much as i could and i swerved but i still hit the car - and that car bumped the car in front of them. the driver was fine, but the passenger, her 15 year old daughter was unconcious, when the paramedics got to her to bring her to the hospital she was conscience again but they were dealing with internal problems. I feel so horrible about the situation. My car was very big so it really was a lot of damage to the other person's vehicle. I dont know how i didnt realize that traffic was stopping but i didnt. I messed up my parents truck and i believe i totalled their car. I have never felt so horrible, i am 19. I don't know where to go from here, im scared and i don't know what's happening or is going to happen... I just keep replaying in my mind all the ways it could have been worse and i cant turn it off... and im scared to drive now. because how could i have been so stupid? and if i did it, couldnt someone do it to me??

Hi spring0tter. I was recently in an accident that I caused too; and I totaled my fathers car, too. When my accident happened, I was on a two lane road and the speed limit was 55. I went to make a left hand turn and didn't see the oncoming traffic, which was a pick up truck. By the time I saw the other vehicle, it was too late. We collided and both spun into a ditch; both facing the direction he was going. I felt so bad (words really can't describe the amount of guilt I had) I had caused the accident. I was lucky and no one got hurt, I was extremely lucky. I was traveling alone and so was the other driver; his truck was able to be driven off after the accident but mine, aka. my father's was totaled. Please forgive yourself and tell yourself every time you think of it and feel bad that it was an accident and you learned from it. We can't go back and change our past, we can only change our present, for our future. I am 25 and always have been a cautious driver, but some how I ended up causing an accident. What I want you to know, is even the most cautious, experienced driver can cause an accident, that's why they call it an accident. Your parents may show signs of anger, but if they do, know it is because they are probably trying to figure out the best way to handle the situation. Cars are expensive, as you know, and it's overall just a stressful situation. The anger they may show you doesn't have anything to necessarily do with you, it is their reaction to a stressful event. Does that make sense? My father was very tight budgeted when my accident happened a few months ago, so if your family is too, it may take a little time for everyone to get over it and move on. Trust me, your family is so grateful you are ok and now it is time for them to deal with the aftermath, such as, dealing with insurance and getting a new car or repairing the other one. This is unfortunately a growing experience, like the officer on the scene of my accident told me, car accidents are rites of passage for many drivers. Forgive yourself and give your parents some room to accept and deal with everything (if they seem like they need it). I can tell by how you told your story that you have a deep soul and you are not a careless person. I'm sure your parents know that. Everything will be ok. Time will move on and this will become in the past. Forgive yourself, it was a mistake and just learn for it.

I see some of you were asking about a site that may be helpful. I think this one has a lot of good info.http://accidentalimpacts.org/recommended-reading/

Vehicles don't just cross centre lines without very good reason let it be carelessness, or vehicle failure which would be examined and revealed to you, there has to be a reason and the grieving family needs an explanation I hope for all your sakes something is revealed if not it is a terrible injustice for all concerned for you and the family.. I do hope you get support and are able to deal with this terrible tragedy

I feel your pain...just today I got into a wreck and the same thing happened I don't know what happened I was on my break I guess I didn't slam on it hard enough ... but next thing I new I slammed into this ladies car I don't even know how this hastened honestly but I just truly feel terrible I ruined my moms car then I ended up messes up.the back of the ladies car ... when the wreck happened I went to see if everyone was ok and the lady I hit was so hurt because I messed up the last thing she had since her house had just burned down I mean I don't if she was lying or what but I surely feel like crap... like you are not a terrible person at all I can kinda understand your pain ... but understand God left you alive for a reason ... just keep praying God has already forgiven you ... it's time to forgive yourself and I know that's hard to do since we tend to be the hardest on our self but keep your head up and be optimistic good will soon come it's just extremely hard to see

People's point of reference come from their experience
with pain and suffering. The callous judgment from some show little life experience and wisdom. God gave us free will and we put ourselves in situations that can be dangerous , even fatal. Can he keep us from harm? Of course. But we are not meant to understand His reason. Why are we safe? Why do some die? That is faith - accepting what we cannot understand. Terrible accidents happen. God forgives us if we ask for forgiveness. It is often harder to forgive ourselves. Be aware of signs around you telling you God"s purpose for your life. You can forgive yourself if you use what you have learned for the glory of God. One day at a time. Just ask God to help you through the day...sometimes the hour. Wishing inner peace and love for all in this chain.

God bless you for your kindness..

Thank you for sharing your story. I can certainly identify with a lot of these posts. In 1997 I had an alcohol related fatal accident that claimed the life of my best friend of 22 years. It has been very hard for me to recover and forgive myself for all the lives I know I shattered that day. And although Counseling, Drug and alcohol, AA meetings, church friends, supportive family members and friends helped a lot, there's still the parts they can't help you with and as far as I know, they don't have any counseling or support groups that deal with the driver of such a tragedy. I read once that the closest thing is support groups for war vets and after talking to my neighbor who was one, I understand. Because he feels tons of regret for killing while in combat. Although he had no choice the memories at the scene will haunt him forever too. My healing will never end. I still think about my dear friend every single day and not a day goes by that I wish I could take it back. One thing that helps is my faith in God because this is just too big for me to handle without Him.And I do believe I'll see her again. Things still happen to help move me forward. Right from the start what I wanted and needed the most was forgiveness especially from her family. It's still a rocky situation. Although they know I didn't do it on purpose and they have forgiven me, some of them still can't be around me. Some of them just started to and it's the best feeling in the world. I did appologise the day after soon as I could, and even went to her funneral. That was the hardest thing I ever had to do.
It takes a very long time to figure out who your friends and enemys are and it's so hard and scary going any where till you know. You feel like open game for anyone to abuse you if they take a notion. Along with the intence fear, shame, gult and sorrow you feel so along freaked out, stressed out and sad and you know your life has changed forever. You don't know if you'll ever recover or be okay, especially the first 4 years or so. One of the things I wanted the most was for the family to forgive me and let me spend time with them.
After 17 years, one of the best things that helps is that I started doing presentations for both the county, 'first time DWI offenders' and high school students. Not only do they listen intently but they help me with their feed back. Some want to tell me stories of their own. And some tell me that I just changed their way of thinking forever. They are awesome. And I do believe that's what has helped me to forgive myself. I finally found some meaning in all this madness. A purpose. Hope everyone is moving forward. Best wishes to all. I feel your pain.

I could cry for all of you&myself..but what can one do..God willed it this way..we would never know the reason why it happened...when all we had wanted in life was never to hurt anyone even with our words..

Hey My boyfriend is going through the same exact thing he is so depressed he hates himself he is emotionless numb and now he is pushing me away and I don't know what to do. He does not know how to live in the present

I caused a car accident that killed my girlfriends' baby in 1986. Anybody out there with a similar experience?

I was in a similar situation... would love to talk and see how you are coping... I am having a hard time myself..

Dear KLD024, I am in a similar stituation too.It happened on the 13th of August,just last month.I have been in my own private hell.But what has helped me to bear the pain is a book called Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsh.Though my brain rejects one particular part of it,the rest of it has made it possible for me to make it through these dark days and nights.It was a senseless tragedy and only God knows why it had to happen.But people like you and I,have to trust in God&help each other out of these dark nights of the soul..At least I feel that I have to..

I also have been involved in car accidents but none of them have been so fatal to kill someone. I understand it is not easy to move on since the memories linger around in the mind and even gives sleepless nights.

It was around 2010 when I had borrowed my colleague's truck and needed to go upcountry urgently. Unfortunately I had a head on collision with a fence, trying to avoid a stray boar which had come out on the road. I had quickly called up my colleague and asked him that I will be away for two days and I contacted http://www.automotix.net/truckparts.html which were delivered to me within three hours (the truck parts) and I then returned the vehicle as it was before.

Thanks to prompt delivery services of such agencies, my senior didn't suspect a thing.

HI-
back in 1975 my mom and i were in a vehicle she was driving and she hit a woman and her baby who were crossing the highway at night. they died instantly i think -but they did die.
i have been racked with grief, guilt, remorse, sorrow, disappointment , depression since as a result. it has taken me a long time to get behind the wheel of a car as a driver/ i was 4 or five when it happened - i am now 41yrs old. i left my mom to live with my dad when i was 6 and havent seen here much although we connect by phone and occasional visits. i know she too has been racked with guilt and remorse often thinking it was witchcraft that caused the accident.

i think we need to move on - forgive ourselves and under stand that it was not entirely our fault although i dont know your circumstances completely.

god is in control. we survived - we owe it to the dead to live on and live and love fully without guilt. good luck i am rooting for you and am on your side.

In December I was put on a new medication for depression, Pristiq. I am a single mom with two children, and work a full time job at a hospital, and have been struggling with depression, anxiety, and trouble sleeping for several years (since the divorce). I had also been prescribed Ativan to take at night to help with sleep.

I had just gotten back from visiting my parents for Christmas and had been up for three nights straight helping with my dad who had late stage Parkinson's so my mom who is his caretaker could get some rest. He was on hospice at the time and has since died.

I woke up from a terrible nightmare and was extremely anxious and depressed and took an overdose of Ativan. The next thing I knew I was in the ICU at the local hospital. Apparently I got in the car and was trying to drive to the hospital to get help. Unfortunately I caused an accident. A family of four with two young children was in the other car and the children were both injured - a broken wrist and a broken ankle. By the grace of God no one was killed.

I have struggle with so much guilt since the accident. I am currently being charged with 2 counts of intoxication assault with serious bodily injury because of the Ativan in my system. There was no alcohol in my system. I have been suspended from my job at the hospital and may lose my license if I am convicted of a felony. There was no alcohol in my system. I FEEL SO MUCH GUILT OVER THIS ACCIDENT. I was already struggling with depression and the guilt has caused me to have suicidal thoughts. The only thing that has gotten me through is God. I pray for the two children and family every day and I know God has forgiven me and that I have to forgive myself. I know some day I will want to write a letter to ask the family's forgiveness but I can't now because of the court case.

I understand the grief, guilt you must feel but God can heal the brokenhearted. Some days are harder for me than others but I just have to keep believing God has a plan for us and He wants us to be happy. Thank you all for sharing as this has helped me share my story too. I wish all of you peace.

In July of 1998, I was at a local swimming hole with some long time friends. Their 14 year old cousin was visiting for the summer. When we all decided to leave and go to the local Walmart, their cousin asked if she could drive my truck, this it's when I made the worst decision that will haunt me for the rest of my life.I let her drive, while on our way and running at a high speed, something happened under my truck causing it to shake violently,.it slid aside ways over turned, and came to rest on the passenger side. I asked if everyone was ok,I thought I heard her breathing.blood was every where. I thought it was mine that was all over me but it WA mine and hers. She died instantly, and it's all my fault,I caused a mother and father to lose their baby. It haunts me every day. I can't forgive myself.I have children of my own now and I hope and pray they never get involved with someone like the boy I once a was. To the family, I'm so sorry and how you can find it in tour hearts to forgive me. Even if I can't forgive myself.

In February this year I lost the control of the car and the person I was with died immediately. Well I cannot deny that we had alcohol, it is the biggest mistake I have ever made, it is haunting me frequently even though I try by all means to get it in control. I do not know what happened, but after I woke in hospital, I wished I had died. At that moment I did not know that my colleague had died, my family let me after I had recovered positively. Me too I need help, but I am working hard to control it. I lost part of my joy mostly, all I do is go to work and come to my room that is it. Such situations hit you hard on your core and make you feel you are nothing but a trouble maker, I mean you are there numb, down on your self, feeling guilty knowing that another family has lost their member, it is terrible to me, it is not easy. But what keeps me going is that God do everything for a reason and He would never keep me in this world without any purpose to accomplish. I have no choice but to go on, it aint easy though.

I was hit by a driver who crossed the centreline in May last year. I suffered multiple injuries and spent a month in hospital and I am still recovering nearly a year later. I was 16 weeks pregnant at the time and thankfully I now have a healthy baby boy. We were very lucky to survive. At first I felt extreme anger directed towards the other driver. As time has passed I have come to realise that it is so easy to become distracted while driving, the other driver did not intend to hurt me, she was just careless and in the past I have also been distracted while driving, just not unlucky enough for momentary carelessness to result in an accident. I also am much more aware when I get behind the wheel of the damage cars can do and drive with much more care. I have learnt that it takes a long time to heal physically and emotionally. Perhaps doing something positive could help you to come to terms with what happened. How about doing something with a road safety charity to help spread awareness? Horrible things happen sometimes, life is unfair but maybe something positive can come from this experience.

Melbell is looking for a support group, not negativity from strangers. Mel bell, I cannot begin to imagine how you feel but I hope you learn to forgive yourself and try and move on with your life knowing it was an accident, could've happened to anyone. You need a professional councilor who has such experience with these unfortunate events.If you didn't do it on purpose, it's called an accident.I really don't understand why people don't understand accidents. All of you that don't believe in accidents , your opinion would change if it were you who caused such harm. The person who kills someone in a car accident, I believe a part of them dies too. That person has to wake up everyday knowing they have taken a life out of this world. I'm sure they live everyday reliving that accident.I'm sure the surviving cause of the accident wish they had died too. I think that the person who dies in the accident got the easy way out, they went to heaven. The person who caused the accident everyday life is a living hell. One of my good friends made a stupid decision to drink and drive, killing my cousin, who is a mother. Yes, I mourned my cousins death. But I can't help but think of how my friend must feel. I too came to this page looking for answers, how do I help my friend get through this?

Kater23, you have a nerve to say the "person who dies got the easy way out" what about the persons future gone, and the loved ones left behind that have to live every day with the LOSS of the loved one, such a sentence is unbearable and the fact you will never see your loved again is heartbreaking, an accident is caused and I know it is not intentional but they still caused it and killed someone and caused tremendous grief for another family.. The person who caused the accident I do believe is suffering but not like the suffering the deceased person's family is going through..... DRINK AND DRIVE ESPECIALLY DON'T EVEN THINK OF LOOKING FOR SYMPATHY

I just wanted to thank you for posting this. Knowing other people have been in similar situations is such a comfort since those who were not at fault cannot possibly understand how it feels. I got into a car accident last night with the two kids I look after. Thankfully no one was hurt aside from a few bumps but the car was completely totaled and we still had to go to the hospital. It was very traumatic since we spun several times and hit a pole and tree. I couldn't even open my door to get out of the car. The parents were very understanding of the situation but I still feel absolutely horrible that they trust me with their children's lives and this happened. I think the hardest part is just knowing I can't take it back, that I can't go back and check to see what I did wrong and fix it.

Does anyone feel they have become a better person from the experience? Or felt they learned something profound?I feel like theres nothing I can do to aside from trying to drive more safely in the future, and that still doesn't guarantee it won't ever happen again. Accidents happen everyday and there will always be things out of our control. I am trying my best to use this pain as an opportunity to grow but finding it hard to do so.

Thank you for sharing. I was in an accident on Saturday and had my 9 yr old and 7 mo old with me. Apparently I took a red light, I was so positive it was My green light until today my insurance called and a witness said he was right behind me and it was red. I feel so devastated I put both my children in danger! No one was hurt thank god but now I just feel horrible.

I too was in an accident. My best friend died sitting next to me. It was early and we had recently gotten a lot of snow. I was going under the speed limit but that didn't matter. I hit black ice and my car spun out just enough to put us in the path of a semi truck. We were hit right behind my seat but the impact was so great and my friend's seatbelt was behind her shoulder so only the lap portion was on and she was brain dead instantly. She was air lifted to a hospital and I was taken to a different hospital by ambulance. That was two years ago. It does get better, but by God's grace. He comforted me through my amazing community of family and friends and His word. I saw a counselor once, wasn't for me. It's hard when you feel like no one knows what you're going through or can actually sympathize. But I suggest you at least give it a try. People care and want to help-let them. Praying for all who go through this. God is sovereign and has a plan for us all, especially in difficult times.

Been over 12 years since my best friend died at the mercy of myself! No alcohol, no drugs, clear day, on a dirt road, lack of experience is what it was I suppose! You never get over it! The older I get, the harder it seems to let go and move on! I don't constantly think about it! I had therapy as I was 16 at the time! Now 28, I realize it forever changed who I am and from that day forward I was no longer myself! Sometimes I like me, sometimes I let my anger consume me! Unless you completely burry it and never think of it again, you never really move on! I think the lord had something in plan for me, just don't know what that is! To the people that think your looking for sympathy, get real!

I have read a lot of responses for your story and have tried to find the same help that you are looking for. My story happend two months ago on thursday. I was in a town I wasn't familiar with I was trying to find my way and like you I crossed that centerline and struck a suv head on. I have no memory of how it happend or what I was doing. I wasn't sleeped deprived or intoxicated and I wasn't speeding. I simply got distracted with whatever for a split second and changed my life and someone elses forever. I'll never forget the name of the lady who passed away and I have full respect for her and always will. She didn't die directly in the accident from what I hear she went into cardic arrest because the wreck was to much for her heart to take. I was severely injured in the wreck but when I heard she passed away I didn't care what happend to me I just wanted to take her place. I blame myself everyday and I don't think that will ever change. I can't answer your question because to be honest I'm still trying to find forgiveness myself. It's hard when people tell you that you need to get on with your life because they don't understand it's not that simple and never will be that simple. It's a pain that is with you every single day from the time you wake up to the time you go to sleep. This should be a happy time for me my boyfriend just bought an engagement ring and we are due to be married in December of 2013 but even though I want to be happy about this any time I let myself feel happy I feel horribly guilty. This voice in my head tells me I don't deserve to be happy that I should be suffering. God has blessed me so much and sometimes I wonder how such an amazing God could love someone like me and still give me so many blessings even though I don't deserve them. I pray for her family every single night since the accident and will continue to as long as I live. Someone very wise told me that even though it's not easy I have to keep moving forward and you have to forgive to be forgiven even if that means forgiving yourself. People make mistakes we have to accept them and not put blame on other things because even though we messed up we are not bad people. I'm someone who would never hurt a fly but yet this happend and I accept full responsibility for it. It was my fault and my fault alone and I believe that accepting that is the first step of many on the road to moving forward. I pray for you and all of you that have been through this too.

id like to say that i dont understand how you feel as nobody ever can but i can empathise with you slightly as i have been through a similar experience. my experience with the feelings that bubble up from this is that unless properly dealt with they wont go away. i pushed mine down for many years until eventually i could cope any longer and bepfre i did something stupid i sought help. i now see a therapist and it really helps. there are lots of therapies or councelling to try. you will never forget it but u will be able to put it behind you asnd move on. it doesnt have to control your life. i hope that you can forgive yourself and find peace no matter how long it takes. you are not alone.

Jesus loves you and died for you so that your sins would be forgiven. If God is gracious enough, then shouldn't we be the same way? I couldn't imagine the feeling of remorse, but you cannot beat yourself up over this. Take refuge in Jesus and let Him give you new strength every morning. Psalms 46:1. I'm praying for you!

I am going through something similar. I was involved in a fatal accident when I was in college. A cab pulled out in front of me an I swerved to the left and hit a car head on killing 2 people. I havn't forgiven myself yet and it has been 22 years. It has been something that defines me I can't get away from it. I can't tell you how to get over this experience since I still havn't gotten over my fatal accident.

You should start by not making it about you...you killed someone...you don't deserve sympathy.

That response is so useful... I have had an accident and someone was injured thank god not fatally.it has changed everything in my life.my family was falling apart because of my mistake.why would you be so horrible to someone in turmoil ?? Accidents will always happen as we are human beings and we get things wrong on a regular basis.we drive about in our letal weapons every day and its only by the grace of God that most days we get home intact.... :(

My family was destroyed by a man who caused my father's fatal motorcycle accident. I can't sympathize - what about our turmoil? What about our lives that will never be the same? What about our sleepless nights and nightmares? How do we explain to our loved ones that he is no longer there? Maybe one day I'll forgive but I will never forget and I hope this person suffers as much as we do.

The person is already suffering they live everyday knowing that they've killed someone. I have never heard anything so cruel from someone have a good day *******

gebriel3, I understand this person is suffering by feeling guilty and rightly so thats just the way it is when you take someone's life, but how DARE YOU SAY that you "have never heard anything so cruel from someone" after all bikerkid has lost their father can you imagine the emptiness, the grief and lonliness this family is going to go through for the rest of their days. So gebriel3 please have respect for bereaved family's they have a different suffering that will last a life time nothing can bring their loved one back, and whats more their loved one's life is taken away, at least the person that caused the accident is still alive and can try to rebuild his/her life and will do.

Oh no its not like they where completly wrecked with grief and guilt knowing that they've killed someone . Its not like they went through years of self hate , blaming themselves for a sitution that was completly out of their control

2 More Responses

On December 19, 2006, when I was 20 years old, I was the cause of a 4 car wreck that took someones life. The only thing I have found that helps heal the pain and guilt is time. I hid in the bottle for two and a half years immediately following and please heed my warning: ALCOHOL IS NOT THE ANSWER! A good support system and taking the TIME to come to terms with what happened are key. If possible, apologizing to the deceased family also helps, or at least helped me. Their forgiveness helped me move forward as well. But it's been over 5 years now and I still can't bear to see a car accident scene, even a minor one. I despise Christmas because of how close to Christmas the accident occurred. But I am getting better year by year. I know it is very hard but try to look at it as a tragic event that couldn't be helped, and try to move forward. You're a good person. If not, you wouldn't feel remorse or even care. Try to always remember that. I look at mine as a life lesson that I had to learn. Everyone has their tragedies and they are rarely the same as everyone else's. Just know that you are not alone. There are many of us living with the same guilt. It gets easier with time, but it can't be forgotten. I learned a lot about life, and myself from the experience.

Because of your strength in sharing what you did about your experience I have shared mine, 'I was also in an accident' by me hopeahead. Please know your not alone!

My step daughter was hit by a teenage uninsured motorist. She was air vac'd to Children's Hospital. Temporally blinded and with severe head injury. I have never heard that the boy wrote a letter of apology but I do feel everyone that has caused an accident (if they have a heart) feels remorse wither they express it or not. My husband never seemed bitter towards the boy. He seemed to understand that accidents do happen... the sun in his eyes or inexperience... I believe he feels that he hopes the boy forgives himself and can lead a normal and happy life and not get into drinking and drugs to cover the guilt and pain.

I was just in an accident today. I wasn't paying attention and I ran a stop sign, hitting a brand new car the woman had just bought. My car was smashed pretty good, but the damage to the other one was fairly minor. I got some good bruises, but other than that everyone involved was fine (my pride is a bit sore). Even though I didn't hurt anyone and my insurance will pay for the damages, I still feel awful about it though, mostly because I know my carelessness could have really hurt someone. I thank god that it didn't, and all I can do now is pay my ticket and move on. I've never been in a fatal accident, so I don't know what advice to give, but I'd definitely speak to a therapist if you need support, or someone who's had a similar experience. Im sorry you have to go through this, and I hope you can learn to forgive yourself.

My parents were killed in a car accident. It was late at night on a road in a rural area. Maybe they were at fault too because it's easy to think on those narrow back country roads that you'll never run into another car. Maybe if they had been found in time they would have survived, but the other person just drove off. That is what I have a hard time dealing with. The police said that it must have been a car with white paint. Sometimes if I make eye contact with a driver of a white car, I get really pissed off, but looking pissed off is normal in this city. My point is that if the person who hit my parents had stayed around to apologize, let alone get them help, I would have been able to forgive. Everyone makes mistakes. Sometimes I fantasize that the person(s) responsible will some day find me and apologize and then I hate myself for wasting my time like that.

A little over a month ago i also was the cause of a fatal car accident. I made a left hand turn and was t boned by a motorcyclist. Im in therapy but still really struggling with what my actions have done. Id just like to say it made me feel better to read these comments and see that im not alone in my feelings.