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My Current Predicament

Okay, I'm going to try to explain this the best that I possibly can.

I met my current boyfriend during my freshman year of high school. He was funny, friendly, and did not, in any way, seem to be dangerous or abusive. He had a girlfriend when I met him. We didn't start dating however until the day after christmas of my sophomore year. Everything was perfect. He was nice and sweet and I loved him so much. We'd been talking all day long for weeks already and I felt comfortable with him.I was happy.
However things changed. He got upset because I didn't wanna have sex with him (we'd been dating for six months around this time). And everything went downhill from there. We started fighting all the time over little things. Most of the time, it led to fighting about sex. He became scary. He would hit things around me. I was worried he would hit me, but he always stayed far away.
Now it is my senior year, and thing have esculated even more. We've broken up multiple times, but the longest time only lasted four to five days. My best friend is constantly trying to get me to leave him, but I never listen. I try though. I just make excuses for him.
My problem now is that I'm a senior. I'm in the top ten of my class. I got accepted to a good college. However, he wants me to go to a smaller college around where I live so we can get an apartment together. I've fought with him over this for months now. And I just gave him and told him sure. But I don't want to. I wanna go to this other college. He is constantly argueing with me over silly little things. Constantly jealous of any time I spend with anyone else. I can't do anything or have anything secret cause he won't let me. It's hard.
Another thing is that I love him. I do. But I know this relationship isn't healthy. So what do I do? I can't seem to make up my mind. I can't bring myself to choose anything. Help?
lilyrose33 lilyrose33 18-21 3 Responses Jan 26, 2012

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There is no boyfriend in this world that you could ever have that would be worth missing out on a good education for. College is not like high school, where you can just go to the school up the street. College can be like that too, and is for some people. However, that's not always the best choice for everyone. You have to understand that choosing where you go to school greatly affects your future. If affects your career opportunities. If that is not enough, this is a high school boyfriend. High school relationships generally do not last because, as people grow up, they tend to go in different directions. It's best to start looking for serious relationships with someone who's going in a similar direction as you, otherwise you simply will not be compatible. To clarify, this does not mean finding someone who wants to go to the same school as you or do the same things as you. It can mean that but not necessarily. It could just mean someone who has similar life plans as you (if you want kids, find someone who plans to have kids one day; if you want to be in a large city, find someone who wants to be in one too; if you want to be able to be career minded; find someone who is as well, not the guy who will sit at home upset because you aren't around).



Most importantly, remember that you are very young. No one deserves what you're putting up with at any age, but particularly right now, you don't want to start setting the tone for these things. It's not a safe or healthy path to go down. Right now, you recognize that it is very unhealthy. Get out before this becomes "normal" for you. This one needs some serious help.

Sweetie, trust me a guy like that isn't worth staying for if he's forcing you for sex at 6 months and fiting caose your not ready then that says something. Your smart I mean top 10 think about it. You'll risk a smart future for a man who wana control you and all his ways will lead to actually physically verbally and emotionally hurting you. I don't want to dictate your life buh I lived through it ur still a young woman don't make a mistake and ruin your life. Go on to college and make your self proud. You'll find someone who will love and want you for who you are. And this is coming from a girl who lifed through it. Be happy sweetie :)

Thank you. :) I guess i'm just having problems giving it up. I mean i've been with him for two plus years and i feel like I just am scared to get rid of the part of my life that i'm used to.

The unknown is just that...unknown; it can be scary but it can also be an adventure. Try to see it as growing into the woman you have yet to be...things will be fine as long as you don't continue to let him pull you down; he is so selfish; he is NOT thinking of you at all...

Sweetie, trust me a guy like that isn't worth staying for if he's forcing you for sex at 6 months and fiting caose your not ready then that says something. Your smart I mean top 10 think about it. You'll risk a smart future for a man who wana control you and all his ways will lead to actually physically verbally and emotionally hurting you. I don't want to dictate your life buh I lived through it ur still a young woman don't make a mistake and ruin your life. Go on to college and make your self proud. You'll find someone who will love and want you for who you are. And this is coming from a girl who lifed through it. Be happy sweetie :)