Need Some Feedback On My Abusive Relationship
I have been with this man for about 1.5 years. during this time, he has abused me and controlled me severely. everytime i try to leave him he says he will kill himself and says he will will go to therapy and take his meds as he should. but everytime i come back, he quits the therapy, or has an excuse for not going. he has choked me til i have passed out. he has put a lit cig out in my mouth, pulled me around by my hair, kicked and hit me and thrown me downstairs. he recently about 6 weeks ago has bashed my head in and choked me again and i had to have stitches in my head. he has a domestic abuse order now that states he cannot even yell at me or he can go to jail, but a piece of paper is not gonna control his anger for long and i know that. we lived in nz and being an american citizen, i was not able to legally work there, so he controlled all the money, cars, phones....everything. he has kicked me out of the house knowing i knew no one or had no place to go, he has taken all money away from me and taken my phone and my car. everything has been in his name because like i said, i am american. now we live in australia, and the same situation. we are married now, but nothing has changed with the money situation and although he has not abused me physically, i am just waiting. he has also left me serveral times when we have been out, once while we were 8 hours from home. i refused to ride in the car with him because he was drunk so he left me and went home, 8 hours from where he left me. he is extremely jealous and insecure, and he is 52yrs old. i just still cant get my head around that. he is so jealous, he broke down a neighbors door because he thought i was in his house having sex with him...i wasnt even in his house and never had been. i, of course, do not feel like being intimate with him because i am so hurt by him. but he seems to always act like im the bad one. saying im never gonna let him live it down...i try to explain to him that its not just one time...its all of it put together. i cant trust him and i tell him that. but he acts like im the bad guy. i have tried and tried and tried to make this relationship work, but i feel it is just time to end it and move on. go back to america and try to rebuild my life there. is there anyone out there that has some good advice?