Use Me, Abuse Me.



I was 17 when i first met my ex fiance' Chong. He was 18 at the time. I met him from a group of friends. He was an *** but i thought it was just a show for our male friends so i didn't pay no mind. We would joke and whatnot but he seemed like he had no interest in me until one day he asked if i would be interested in going out with him. I was a young girl and to have a guy ask me out was a big thing and he was the first guy ever to ask me out.

We went out and everything seemed fine. We started to get closer. I never kissed him on the lips always on the cheek. He asked me one day "Why is it that you don't french kiss me?" I told him "I want to wait till marriage for that and i don't see anything wrong with kisses on the cheek" A month later i was engaged to him i finally turned 18 during that time. The first time he hurt me mentally was when i should have left. He was working on a paper for his college work and we were hanging out together he wanted quiet and i kept on asking him things. He stopped working, started to smile and shake his head and he went off on me, saying mean things and then he said "That's why your a fatherless child!" That's all i remember him saying. That hit me the most. When he saw me crying he apologized and held me.

Three months passed and i was in his room again. He was working again on another assignment and again he was frustrated so i tried not to bug him too much. He was trying to stay focused. So i asked him if he was hungry, he quickly snapped "No." I said okay. I turned the TV on and i sat there in silence. I then told him "We should have some fun! Maybe watch a movie?" He snapped again "No." I huffed and said "Okay then" He got pissed and talked about how i always seem to have an "Attitude problem" I laughed at him and said "**** you" As i got up to walk out of there he pulled me by my hair, tore my shirt and started to slap me. He slapped me about four times, he hit me so hard that i started to bleed from my nose and mouth. he had me pinned on the floor. I never cried while this happened. I took it like a man. I was laying there bloody with a torn shirt. As he was on top of me he never said he was sorry he was just looking at me, smiling. i was looking back at him and forced a smile and i played along, i said to him "I'm sorry i make you so mad, babe. I should only speak when spoken to or when your not so busy. I am so sorry. I promise i will be a good girl and be quiet" he then laughed and said "Good. 'Cause once we get married i will own you and your going to do as i say" as he bent down to try and kiss me i kneed him hard in the balls. He layed on the ground now, holding himself, like a pathetic waste of skin and human existence. i threw the engagement ring he gave me at him and i told him "Your not my type. Later ******" And i walked out and that was the last time i ever saw that monster.

I have never really told the full story to anyone until now. Reading it gives me too many memories of that night. He called my phone and home phone i never answered it. Sent text messages, telling me to come back to him and how bad and sorry he felt for striking me. I never believed what he said. I had a friend of mine do my make up cause i never wanted my mother seeing me like that and if she did she would have prolly done worse to him then i did. I hold this a secret from her and the rest of my family. I stayed single for a very long time. I hardly ever trusted anyone i ever dated and i think that's why some of the people i dated in my past failed. I have only ever let two people get close to me and it says a lot. My son's father has never gotten close to me as my boyfriend has. I think it's 'cause with him i feel safe, comfort, and warmth from him. He makes me feel loved and protected. I am so happy to have him in my life.
MissSpookiness MissSpookiness
26-30, F
4 Responses May 10, 2012

You're welcome i'm glad i could share on here. Hope you have a good tuesday!

thank you for sharing... it takes courage to do what you did. which was the right thing to leave and never look back! Thanks for protecting your mom from the truth. Kudos!! Glad to see you made it to a good relationship.

@PaleStranger, A man should never place his hands on a woman only to please her and make her feel loved. Other then that he should keep his hands to himself.<br />
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And i agree, people that are like that, that cannot control their anger should be alone until they are sure they can be with someone. Or just continue to be alone.<br />
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Thank you, pale stranger, hope you have a good night.

Going through that has actually made me a stronger person and another reason i don't take a lot of bullshit from others. Trust me, i wanted to do worse but i just wanted to get out of there as fast as i could.<br />
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I hope he doesn't either.