7 Kids Lost!!!!

I looked everywhere for 3 months for all of us to go to, Finally with so much pain I realized it wasnt going to happen, I made the decision that I thought was the best at the time, My heart broke, and felt like I was going to die, I would stand at work thinking about not having us all together, I thought it every waking moment or lots of nights of sleepless nights. I have never ever had so much pain, we fast forward and its 3 years later, I feel that sting burning of pain, The need to scream and cry out still, I see David my son in overwhelming pain and anger, I dont blame you, I need to write this to let all of u know I tried, I went to every agency or person I thought could help me, every door was shut on my face. I feel like laying down and dying, I know people say we have to move forward but I cant,I still want to lay on the floor pounding my fist in agonizing pain,
I think of the day I brought all of you home from the hospital, the time you first smiled and laughed, I think of every thing burned into my mind so deeply. some days the memories over whelm me.
maddy2004 maddy2004
46-50, F
Dec 3, 2012