Words Hurt Just As Bad

I have been in an off and off relationship for 5 years. we have been/struggled through a lot, and i thought things were getting better, but now i am not so sure. He has always been verball abusive, which even today he denies saying "**** you you ******* *****" "you're going to hell" "im going on a date tomorrow night, hope it drives you nuts "you're reality isn't real" "you're a ******* coward/baby" "i feel bad for whoever has to deal with you" "your ******* pathetic" "******* crazy like your ******* mother" and the list goes on and on. ON new years eve, he got terribly drunk, and wanted me to dance with him, this was a bar/restaurant area and not everyone was drninking. there was a dancefloor in the middle of this place, and while i was out there with him he kept grabbing my butt really tight, trying to stick his tongue down my throat which was all gross from the alcohol, and i was not comfortable looking like this in public because i was sober the entire time. when i turned my head cause i didnt wanna make out with him, he pushed me hard into a group of people, i then cried and walked off the dancefloor, he then demanded "give me my ******* car keys" i responded by saying no, simply because i was the only sober one, we had friends who we carpooled with, and i wasnt going to let him drive drunk. he then twisted my arm and didnt let go, shouting "give me my ******* car keys" after telling him stop three times i screamed and he finally lelt go, i had my winter jacket on, turns out he left four scars and bruises on my arm. he went outside with my friends and belittled me some more, and then them. i ended up breaking up with him, and staid at my friends house. during this time, his family i dont think has ever acknoledged his bad behavior. he said he told them what happened, which i believe, but im not sure to what extent. none of them reached out to me, asked for my side or even if i was okay. they just swept it under the rug and it made me feel angry and hurt, because ive known them for 5 years and we were all so close. a week or so after i broke up with him his grandparents asked what happened and i decided to tell them the truth: i was tred of protecting him. they were very surprised. the next day, his mother who i was very close with sent me a text, deleting me from FB saying "to avoid the drama ive decided to delete you... hope things workout" is pretty much what was said, i was so hurt cause im not sure what drama she was referring to. about 5 minutes later i got a million texts from my ex, saying that i was ****** up, going to hell, and that he was never abusive just because he grabbed me once, and that i was a fool for turning his family against him. i never wanted to turn anyone... i wanted them to see the reality, even though he says my reality is twisted. i wanted them to help him and be knowledgable about the situation so they could help him in the future. he turned them on me, or they all think im lying, and it hurts more than anything because its so true. i feel like they enable him by handling it this way. i havent heard from him snce which will be a week from tomorrow. i have been trying to stay strong, but in this cycle of abuse i sometimes feel guilty/ashamed/wrong, and question what happened because ive been trained to believe that he is always right.

In the past, hen i would call him crying, he would start to make baby noises and told me to "shut the **** up". this year alone he has called me "pathetic, crazy, psycho, crazy like my ******* mother, possessed, ****** up, a nobody, a piece of low life scum, a miserable little (name of my mother), 5 year old, a **** for not having sex with him, depressing, no fun to be around, i deserve to be unhappy, i deserve to be miserable" and has made threats. some of the things he has texted me, that i have saved, were : "Get the **** out of my life you selfish ***** **** you and your fatass friend, have fun losing the only person in your corner, where was your mom huh? was she there by your side? **** off your a joke, your not worth my ******* time." "You better hope i never see or speak to you again, you'll see how abusive my words can be, you BETTER steer clear because i'm a pro at being a ***** when i want to be. and you better hope i wake up in a good mood tomorrow cause boy do i have some stories i'd love to share about you ;) many." these are quote on quote words he has said to me. He has locked me in a vehicle one time when he was drunk, because HE went to a ***** bar with random men in a city we never been in, and i stayed up all night, worried about his safety and where he was, him going to a ***** bar was the least of my worries. when he got back, he locked me inside the ruck all night, with me in the back seat and started swearing at me "stop ******* crying!!" he would yell and bang on the steering wheel, "go **** someone else at college, i dont need you, i'll find someone else!" he would rage and rage, until eventually he passed out. this is some of the stuff that happened last year when we were together, and im hurt and so frustrated because i feel like no one listens to me. I just really need the support, and im not sure what to do, thank you.