Totally Confused and In Love

I am currently in a 3 year relationship that i feel is very abusive in teh beginning if we got into an argument he would get very mad and sometimes hit me after a while that stopped and now it is more verbal abuse than physical...i have gained a lot of weight because of the stress that this relationship is putting on me...so he told me yesterday that he is not physically attracted to me and the i repulse him everytime i am with him and that he HATES having sex with me...he told me that he would treat me better if i lose weight....all i do is cry everyday...i have even tried to run my car off the road a couple of times because of the way that he treats me.....this is really killing me slowly to know that the man that i love hates me.....PLEASE HELP ME I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE

totallyconfused09 totallyconfused09
31-35
5 Responses Feb 24, 2009

I know exactly how you feel and what your going through.
I act

I honestly feel sorry for you. I was in a similar situation but perhaps not quite as bad (thankfully). You invest so much in these people that it makes it hard to just throw them away. Throwing them away makes you feel like you went thru it all for nothing so it doesnt feel like a good option. All the suffering and despair and hoping for it to get better will be for nothing. It makes it a hard choice i know. Honestly i think she knew that i felt like i had invested a lot in trying to make it work and she just took it to mean she was secure in her ability to walk all over me in almost every way.<br />
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In my case i ended it about 3 weeks ago, after putting up with it for 6 yrs. Did things change much between the 3yr mark and the 6yr mark? No they didnt, i just invested more love, energy, got more hurt and STILL ended up being unimportant to her. Really the only thing that changed was when she threatened to leave,(which would happen as soon as EVERYTHING didnt go her way). I would calmly offer her help in packing whereas before id be devastated and do anything to make her stay. That curbed that behaviour at least lol :)<br />
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Yeah im hurting atm but i was hurting anyhow (i totally identify with your call of "killing me slowly" ) and at least the hurt is decreasing with time not increasing as it was before.<br />
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I think that speaks for itself, hope you find a solution that works best for you. stuff him if he doesnt care. Dump him, lose some weight for your self esteem NOT him and laugh in his face when he tries to come back :D

hello there. i can also sadly relate to your story. its a lot to tell if u would like to hear pls message me.

I am sorry that you are in such an abusive relationship. Please seek help and leave it when/if you can. I, am a man, in an emotionally abusive relationship myself that I am finding very difficult to leave. No one deserves to be treated like that, please you deserve better.

Confused...you need to leave this man! There is nothing else to be said here. No partner is worth killing YOURSELF over..or LOOSING yourself over! This man does NOT have the right to treat you like this! He should want to make you happy, love you..treat you with kindness and respect. He is supposed to be your PARNTER..not your ATTACKER. Has he got you so beat down that you cannot see that you just simply must LEAVE? <br />
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Sweetheart..things will not change..they will not get better. And certainly not if you just sit there day after day and take more of the verbal abuse placed upon you!!! Please hear me when I say this..no woman, no man...nobody should have to be treated this way by someone who claims to LOVE them! <br />
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TRUE LOVE DOES NOT HURT!!!!!!