Is This Emotionally Abuse

My ex bf had been harrassing me like a stalker my current bf asked him to leave me alone.  A month went ex still bothering  but my bf punched him.  My bf asked me to get a restraining order but the cop said no. then ex harrassed me and my family told him to leave me alone and my family.  After that conversation he pressed charges for the punch. So ever since then  may bf  has used it against me saying that I was disrepectful because I did not obey his wishes.  another incident I was at a cocktail party at a resturant with him and my mother.  Everyone was talking he was ready to sit but because I was finishing a conversation and did not sit down right away (2 min) I was being disrpectful.  Another incident an owner of a business which he frequents came up to me and asked me a question and he got mad because the guy didn't address him and he walked away and said I was disrespectful  Keep in mind that everytime this happens he will not discuss it or talk to me for weeks.  another incident i threw 2 charity parties, he did not come to either one quite embarrassing since his friends were there asking for him.  Instead he decided to have dinner with an old lady friend.  When I asked him why he didn't come would he rather "date" older women (65) he got made and dumped me for 2 months.  Recently I became friends with him and he pushed it back to a relationship.  Everything was perfect, great we actually never argue.  I went out to dinner w a friend and so did he but we ran into each other at the same place but he was 4 other women.  I was hurt and got a bit jealous and left the restaurant.  Talked to him next day said I was not for him and he said no you are wrong. He explained the situation and I apologized for not saying goodbye.  Days later we were suppose to go to 2 planned formal parties and the day of the event he said he will not go with me because I was disrespectful and wont even talk to me.  He will never discuss anything I really feel like this is abuse. Is this emotionally abuse the cat and mouse game the hiding.  I have never experieenced this before.  He is not young 48.  Please let me know your thoughts - there is more but all similiar.  Anger, hiding for weeks saying it is me and will I do this again.  Is this just a passive-aggressive personality, a control freak or an emotional abuser?

jenat jenat
41-45, F
1 Response Mar 6, 2009

RUN, don't walk, away! This person has some deep issues and it would really be helpful to everyone, him most of all, if he would talk to someone qualified to sort them out.