I'm In An Emotionally Abusive Relationship

I met my boyfriend over 2 1/2 years ago. I wasn't interested at first because I had been single for a while and was not completely over my ex. My friends finally convinced me to go out with him. I should of taken the first date as a warning sign since he didn't want to go anywhere in public, but for some reason I fell for him instanly. We were inseperable for a few weeks. Then as Halloween approached he stopped talking to me because I was going out with my friends (even though I invited him). I was devastated, but right after Halloween he started talking to me again. This became a pattern, he would come around for a week then ignore me for a week. Eventually we stopped talking for 3 months, but I couldn't get over him. I cried evey single day. So eventually he came back and  was much better than before (so I thought). About a year of being together again I find out that when he wasn't speaking to me he actually lived with someone else who apparently he was still seeing. To this day I still don't know the truth. I'm so afraid that he will leave me that I let him control my every move. I no longer have any friends, I can't go out anywhere, I can't go to church or shopping or out with my family. He makes me call/text every morning every time I go to lunch, the second I get out of work. Once I'm out of work if he wants to see me I go to his house if not I have to stay home. He's never taken me out and when I try to ask him to he puts me down and tells me I'm just a stupid blonde who wants attention. He yells and swears at me during every conversation. I just can't take this anymore. This is literally killing me. I have lost 20 pounds in the last year and down to a size zero. I feel like without him I would die. What is wrong with me??? The thing that hurts me the most is having to let people that need me down. I have to find every excuse possible to not go places with people and make it seem like it has nothing to do with him. After all this time he hasn't even met my family.

callie808 callie808
26-30, F
7 Responses Mar 11, 2010

I understand; im am trying to get out of a relationship that is quite different but abusive in its own nature. First you are not weak for getting in this relationship, i do not judge you. my friends always say why would you put up with this? but how could i not, i loved him right? I wake up every morning and tell myself
I am strong, I am beautiful, I am worthy, I am a lion
I deserve love, attention, respect, and care
i say it sometimes a thousand times a day especially when we all go through the dark phase, after we have strength, after we feel like we can do this, we can be alone, then the dark comes, where we feel so alone. Keep repeating your own mantra; positive thoughts. Understand that you had the strength to post that you must have inner strength.

Im in the same boat. I cry every night, and i can barely leave the house without getting yelled at. even at work, he gets mad because there are guys working... Ive been with him almost three years, it only gets worse, please get out

first of all sorry for all that crap your boyfriend has been givining you<br />
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but you dont deserve getting treated like that <br />
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i just can belive you love him. How can you love a guy that dosent treat you right<br />
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Get advice,Talk to someone you trust,and try your best to get over him<br />
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also get to do stuff with your family and friends trust me being with the persons you love <br />
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help alot to forget about your problems with your boyfriend <br />
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take care:)

There is nothing WRONG with you.<br />
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That is something abusive partners know how to make their victim feel, is that there is something WRONG/BAD with them.<br />
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He is really deeply insecure because he knows your better than him, and too good for him so he controls you to reduce your attractiveness, confidence, and self-esteem so that you will depend on him to "feel good" about yourself and life...<br />
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IT'S A LIE! <br />
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Speak with your family and friends NOW! I'm telling you, don't bottle anything up - tell people...and try and do more things with your family! Sometimes the abuser will make you feel like your own family don't even love you! and that only him and his family care...it's a lie!<br />
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YOUR NOT ALONE, Feel free to message me on this!

Callie, i know this might sound a little crazy........... but google either abusive relationships OR (careful how u spell this ) Narcissistic behaviour/personalities. that NARCISSISTIC is spelt right ! Just check it out, it might make you think differently. Just be careful, am here if u wanna chat (((((((HUGS))))))) x

Yes, we are still together. I do realize this isn't normal, but I love him. I can't seem to let it go...

Callie808, You must know this relationship is not normal.... right ? He sounds awful and abuse i know and you are getting verbally abused, are you still with him ?