I've Spent My Entire Life In And Out Of Foster Care

Child abuse is such a common discussion, people always have their opinions about how horrible it is; but those who truly know are the chidren themselvs. I myself have been through almost every form of child abuse possible. On April 16, 1995 my life of abuse began, an innocent child brought into such an ugly world. My mother was a prostitute that was so strung out on meth she couldnt remember who my father was. I was the fourth born out of seven children so money was always a problem. Shortly after my birth my mother married a man named Paul. He wasnt the type of man to cover up his true self, but that didnt seem to bother my mother. He started out by abusing her, the ocasional slap the random rude names. Nothing he did to her caused her to leave him, she was in love. It took less than a year for the abuse to turn to me and my siblings. When he first began to hurt us he was very discreat about it, disguising terrible beatings with simple punnishments. I recall a day where I was sent to stand in the corner, I was so terrified of being beat that I stood there for almost 24 hours. You see my stepdad had forgotten about me, but when reminded by my sisters where I was he yelled and said that he was aware of what my punnishment was. That was the first night I ever slept standing up. The physical abuse wasnt the worst part, it was the sexual abuse that hurt the most. You never really recover from the nightmares, the memories of a huge man touching you, trying to shove things into areas that are way to small for that to work. The pain, the bleeding the crying, the screaming, now thats the worst part. Knowing that your own mother, the woman who's job is to protect you no matter what is in the next room allowing this to happen. That feeling of being alone in a world with nobody to protect you, just you and your sisters is horrible. The abuse from my stepfather came to an end at age seven, my mother dropped me and two sisters off in Minnesota with a family member and told us she would be back in a few weeks. Little did I know that was the last I would ever see my mother or my step father. I dont completly remember what happend at my aunts house, but two weeks later I was sent to live with my stepfathers brother. To this day I'm not sure who thought this would be a good idea but i was adopted by them a year later. My sisters and I were split apart, I had no family left besides this man and his wife who reminded me so much of the man who had caused so much pain to me. It only took a month for the first slap to hit my face, it went downhill from there. This house was different though, I wasnt hit as much as before. I suffered more emotional abuse from my adopted parents than anything. Being locked in my room for hours with no where to use the bathroom besides a bucket I kept my barbies in, the name calling, they just made me feel like I didnt belong on earth. This time I attempted to step up and defend myself, I tried to turn them in; I ran away. After finding the nearest police station and telling them what was happening, I was returned. Later I learned that my adopted parents told the Police that I had mental problems and I had no idea what I was talking about anymore. I tried to report them 14 times, I was returned everytime. After all I was such a spoiled little girl, I had all the new clothes, the new toys and my family seemed so nice. Around the age of 12 my nice expensive items actually turned into an excuse for my father to sexually abuse me. Everytime I needed something for myself like clothes and shoes, sometimes even school supplies he forced me to allow him to "collect his payment". What I mean by this was he forced me to allow him to touch me. By the age of 14 I was fed up, there was nothing I could do and I couldnt take it anymore. I started crying in the middle of class, my teacher pulled me out and through the tears the truth came out. I was returned to foster care that night. No charges were placed on either of my adopted parents and they still remain my legal gardians. I am dealing with my new struggles in the foster care system, but despite everything I am a very strong person. Looking back I wouldnt change a thing that happend to me, because it made me who I am today. In the future I plan on doing everything possible to help children who have been through situations like mine. For now Im going to live my life and try to move forward.

alifeofmanyhomes alifeofmanyhomes
7 Responses Nov 28, 2012

ive gone through the same thing im still a fosterkid but im safe now and I might have to go to a hospital towmorrow

Why will you be having to go to the hospital? If it has something to do with your current placement contact your social worker as soon as possible. How old are you? I know foster care is hard but keep your head up. You will do great things this is just a stepping stone on the path to greatness.

I might have to go for a new start thank you

You are amazing!!! You are going to do great things for children suffering with abuse...

I forgot that I wrote this! Just wanted to update everyone. I am now aged out of foster care, I am in college working on obtaining a law degree. I never gave up and I never will. Life is hard without the financial support of parents but other than that I love every aspect of life! I am a very happy and energetic person! Thank you everyone for your support and encouraging words! :)

One word......inspiring :) xx

For a person to take their absolutely disgraceful childhood and turn it into a positive is AMAZING. I hope you realise how really special you are. I believe that you will be that type of person to do something great for other children in the world. Your a survivor and you will help others. I wish you all the best in your life as you deserve only the best. x

You're an amazing survivor. The world has totally screwed you over but you still sound so hopeful! You're a hero! I'll bet you're going to something spectacular with your life.

I'm so sorry for your pain. Stay strong.