Faster Than Change

I was also in a serious automobile accident last August. I was only in hospital for a couple of weeks for surgery but spent the following two months in bed, then crutches. 10 months later I can limp without a stick. Like you, it has completely changed my life. The vehicle I was traveling in was driven by the CEO of the company I worked for as their IT Director. Two months after the accident I was laid off by the same company. I had built up a staff of 18, working long hours and suddenly was by myself all the time and unable to work. I've been trying to go back to work with mixed results as my concentration lapses and I sometimes have problems focusing on a specific sequence of actions needed to complete a task. The feelings of helplessness can be overwhelming. It feels as if one had woken up with brain damage. But just as I left the crutches behind once my legs were strong enough, I know my powers of concentration will return, with training and exercise.

What else is there?
Complete despair? Yes, that's always waiting around the corner---but I can embrace that anytime. Nothing changes in despair. Only actively trying to engage and change circumstance will get me through this statis. And if I'm too tired, I lie down and rest and when I'm hungry, I eat. We are not superhumans. There is no better, flawless version of you: there's just this, the materials you work with.

I still have deep lasting dark moods and I let them pass without resistance. I also have brighter moments as the seasons change. But getting better is now my main work, everything else will have to wait until I am strong enough to deal with it.