Okay Maybe Was Jealous Is Bad Term

Im a jealous person all around . I always have been ... and  im soo bitter about Jake but i need to just let that go .. Im never gonna have him the way i want him . Its too much of a distance and neither one of us are going to leave our children . But i'm so jealous of his gf its sick .. he's killing me ..I mean i know my life will go on .. but Why cant it be me . Something happened somewhere along the line that i just cant get over him .. Maybe its just the fact that hes a challenge .   I dont know. I know i get so excited when i would call him just to hear his voice . I just need to get over it .