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My Kidnapping


I was eight years old when it happened.  I didn't fully realize what was going on until it was too late.  The media and the police normally say that when someone is kidnapped it is usually by someone they know.  That is what happened to me.  I was taken by one of our dog trainers who had weaseled his way into our family and became friends with us. 

I have to admit that I was quite stunned when i came across this website.  If you can identify with someone who has been kidnapped then you know how difficult it can be to find people to trust or to talk to. 

I usually find myself keeping things inside but now that it has been 21 years since my kidnapping I'm finding it harder to hide my past.

I was gone for just over a year.  The man who took me kept moving around from place to place throughout the year.  Making it hard for the police or private investigators that my family hired to find me. 

Now that I'm almost thirty, I find myself looking back quite often.  It seems to be something that I cannot shake from my life.  Being a writer doesn't help matters much seeing as how my mind is always drifting away on me when I try to write something down.

It's a strange thing to be able to say that its been 21 years since the day I was supposed to be murdered.  

The man who took me used to keep me tied up either in the basement or in a small cold room.  I would have boiling hot water thrown on me daily, beatings, this man had some sick friends who he used to invite over to the house. He would then sstrip me down naked and force me stand in the corner of the living room completely naked in plain view for everyone to make fun of me.  I was not allowed to move the spot for hours on end. If i moved the slightest I would be beaten.     he would tie me up to a chair and force me to listen as he made prank phone calls to my family pretending to be the police.  He would taunt them and tell them that they found me and that I was seriously injured.   Which caused my family to get into a really bad car accident as they raced down the highway to get to me.  My Grandfather suffered a heart attack and my grandmother had to have her hips replaced from the accident.

Every day after beating me, making me take showers in front of strangers, sexual abuse, he would end the day by telling me when and how he was going to murder me.  He had just purchased a used car from someone and he wanted to take a trip across Canada from Toronto to BC. During that time he would cut my body into tiny peices starting from my feet then moving upwards all while I was still alive and coherrent. Each peice was to be dumped in different locations across the country.  He wanted to leave on in Toronto for my family to find but all the rest would be lost and they would never find me.

I was rescued just 3 weeks before the day he planned to murder me.

Then in the mornings I  was usually waken up by either boiling water being thrown on me or he would lock me into a small closet or bathroom and fill the room with pesticides until I blacked out.

To this day i go insane if I see a can of RAID.

I find now that I suffer from Night Terrors and the are getting worse as I get older.  Sleeping isn't something i normally do... I guess that's what happens when your 29 and your still afraid of the dark.


I've had to grow and learn a lot since then. It's been a really difficult thing to find where I belong in social circles.  It took me many years to get over crippling fear and shyness towards everyone.  I still find myself pushing people way from me... not on purpose, but I think deep down I'm afraid it could happen again.  When my case went to trial my kidnapper vowed that he would find me again when I was older.  He even went as far as to threaten my life while I was on the witness stand.  I was always afraid that he would follow through on his promise.

I can still hear his voice and I can still see his face when i close my eyes .....  But life is getting better.

In some small way i think I've been able to find the positive in what happened to me. It's taught me to look at things from a different perspective.
Although it was hell ... It did partially make me into the man I am today.

My life may be hard and confusing.....................................but I'm here.

I thank God for every second I have.





Benedin Benedin 31-35, M 14 Responses Sep 26, 2010

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How where you rescued?

How did you handle your emotions toward God?

Wow your really lucky.

IT WAS A BOY THE WHOLE TIME?!?! I thought it was a girl :/

Did he go to jail?

I am so sorry about what happened to you just know that you are surrounded by people who love and support you and many have never even met you I support you 100%

I'm stunned to read your story!!!<br />
As other's have said, I just can't imagine!<br />
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The cruelty in that horrid excuse for a human being...and the others that watched (they should ALSO, be punished)!!!<br />
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I hope you don't have any problems with your lungs, from the abuse.<br />
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Dear Lord, I hope you heal from the night terrors, and the other bad stuff this causes you.<br />
<br />
(((Hugs)))

What a horrible situation and to think you were only eight years old! You are a survivor for sure.<br />
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If you have not done so already, you might want to read, The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker. This book is one I often recommend (as anyone who reads my posts knows!) because it is about developing the mindset we need to be safe from violence. It is a good read and has many ideas and suggestions you would not find in any other book. It will help you develop a calm awareness of possible danger instead of the ongoing anxiety about crime that so many people feel.

I know what you're going through...I was kidnapped and also abused, I still cannot get over what happened..my partner says I should, I don't think he understands. I find it hard to trust anyone, I still think that anyone could be capable of anything and its impossible to really know someone. Sometimes When I think about what happened, I get depressed and feel like hanging myself...sry if this last comment offends.

I know how you feel man. I was kidnapped a little over three years ago. I wasnt held that long myself was only a two day thing. But its terrifying. Because of it im afraid of the dark, being alone and of the sound of a gun or anything similar. I didnt have to go through what you did. Im so sorry. Im paralyzed from the waist down now and i still think about it everyday

This is crazy... I'm sorry. GRR I want him to die painfully.. =/

You're an amazingly courageous man to be able to simply write what happened to you down, and post it on a site like this--in front of the eyes of strangers. I think if anything, through that appalling ordeal, you were able to find your strength that you have today. That man had nothing over your audacity to survive then, and today he has nothing over your willpower to live, and move forward in life. I wish nothing but good things to come to you...you most certainly deserve the best. Forget those nightmares, and pleasant dreams to you :)

You're an amazingly courageous man to be able to simply write what happened to you down, and post it on a site like this--in front of the eyes of strangers. I think if anything, through that appalling ordeal, you were able to find your strength that you have today. That man had nothing over your audacity to survive then, and today he has nothing over your willpower to live, and move forward in life. I wish nothing but good things to come to you...you most certainly deserve the best. Forget those nightmares, and pleasant dreams to you :)

I too cannot imagine the extremes of abuse you have suffered. My wish for you is that you can move on to experience love and security and peace in equal measure to all the horrific experiences in your past. With all my best hopes and best wishes x