I was eight years old when it happened. I didn't fully realize what was going on until it was too late. The media and the police normally say that when someone is kidnapped it is usually by someone they know. That is what happened to me. I was taken by one of our dog trainers who had weaseled his way into our family and became friends with us.
I have to admit that I was quite stunned when i came across this website. If you can identify with someone who has been kidnapped then you know how difficult it can be to find people to trust or to talk to.
I usually find myself keeping things inside but now that it has been 21 years since my kidnapping I'm finding it harder to hide my past.
I was gone for just over a year. The man who took me kept moving around from place to place throughout the year. Making it hard for the police or private investigators that my family hired to find me.
Now that I'm almost thirty, I find myself looking back quite often. It seems to be something that I cannot shake from my life. Being a writer doesn't help matters much seeing as how my mind is always drifting away on me when I try to write something down.
It's a strange thing to be able to say that its been 21 years since the day I was supposed to be murdered.
The man who took me used to keep me tied up either in the ba
Every day after beating me, making me take showers in front of strangers, sexual abuse, he would end the day by telling me when and how he was going to murder me. He had just purchased a used car from someone and he wanted to take a trip across Canada from Toronto to BC. During that time he would cut my body into tiny peices starting from my feet then moving upwards all while I was still alive and coherrent. Each peice was to be dumped in different locations across the country. He wanted to leave on in Toronto for my family to find but all the rest would be lost and they would never find me.
I was rescued just 3 weeks before the day he planned to murder me.
Then in the mornings I was usually waken up by either boiling water being thrown on me or he would lock me into a small closet or bathroom and fill the room with pesticides until I blacked out.
To this day i go insane if I see a can of RAID.
I find now that I suffer from Night Terrors and the are getting worse as I get older. Sleeping isn't something i normally do... I guess that's what happens when your 29 and your still afraid of the dark.
I've had to grow and learn a lot since then. It's been a really difficult thing to find where I belong in social circles. It took me many years to get over crippling fear and shyness towards everyone. I still find myself pushing people way from me... not on purpose, but I think deep down I'm afraid it could happen again. When my case went to trial my kidnapper vowed that he would find me again when I was older. He even went as far as to threaten my life while I was on the witness stand. I was always afraid that he would follow through on his promise.
I can still hear his voice and I can still see his face when i close my eyes ..... But life is getting better.
In some small way i think I've been able to find the positive in what happened to me. It's taught me to look at things from a different perspective.
Although it was hell ... It did partially make me into the man I am today.
My life may be hard and confusing.....................................but I'm here.
I thank God for every second I have.
Benedin 31-35, M 14 Responses 2 Sep 26, 2010