Help.

Throughout this last year and a half I have recovered memories of being subjected to child kidnapping, sexual abuse, rape, and torture in a BSDM natured p.o.r.n. ring when I was 4 & 5 years old. Horribly, when this happened I also witnessed another victim beat to death. I remember being on a bed with a yellow rubber sheet and lying in her blood, she was beside me with her teeth knocked out and her eyes wide open while she lay motionless. sorry for the graphic content.

Anyways i will save you from the rest of the horror scenes in my head. But now I am suffering with severe PTSD, anxiety, depression and unhealthy coping mechanisms such as addiction and self harm. Im 21 years old. female. and ive been rendered useless and nonfunctional unless I get treatment. Had to quit university and move back in with parents because i cannot live without somebody watching and taking care of me 24/7 to be safe. I am not just a normal young adult living the life I should. I feel very alone and am under a ton of grief. Cannot get insurance under Alberta health care for an private inpatient facility, government facilities take forever to get into, and am picking into my education funds for money to live and get therapy for the time being.

I have started an online fundraiser that you can find here:

http://gogetfunding.com/project/alison-s-promise

Im trying to go to a residential treatment program at Homewood Health Center in Ontario where its specialized for PTSD or a inpatient facility in Calgary Canada, so i can stay near my parents for support.

I think everyday about the girl who I saw dead she has saved me so many times from suicide. So my promise to her is that Im going to be above those sick men and not let them depress and steal away my life like they did to her. I want to thrive for her sake because she would had wanted me to go on just as I wish she could have. Please help me get the help I need and keep the promise I so desperatly want to fufill. Anything donated is a step forward.

Thanks
Alison.
sampson7 sampson7
18-21, F
5 Responses Dec 2, 2012

How did you get out of there and did they get the men that did that to you and the over girl?

thanks for everybody taking the time to read. its nice to know people are out there for yeah.
ill have everyone know that im scheduled to enter treatment at a not for profit place in calgary, so its cheaper. ill be going in mid march. ive been diagnosed with C-PTSD, Borderline personality disorder and dermatolmania, the treatment place im going to is Aventa for women in a young adult program. They are going to help me with everything :) so im hopeful

I feel awfully about everything uv went through

thanks for your compassion. i appreciate it. unfortunately these things happen. i just want to move past it now instead of being a victim.

Hi sweety,

These things are very recognizable, these freaks are all the same are they not ? With their sick tapes, while writing blood on walls...

You will find peace in recognizing truth and reality. You where forced in a position by others who did these crimes. They should feel horrible not you.

They should be considered having an illness, not you..

They should suffer all their lives, not you !

I find joy in ratting out as much about these ***** as i can, and tell through links, photo's films and video's and have friends help with that too !!

Just write the fbi, cia and whitehouse and etc, to inform them and make life more and more hard on them while feeling like a hero instead of like you do right now !!

There is a LOT you can do with these feelings you have !!

**** them, they should feel like that NOT YOU !! Im proud of you, i do it you do it we all do it !!

Just do it ...

Its ok <3 !!

I'm sorry that happened to you. It must be tough going through such a traumatic incident. I wish I could donate but I have no money I'm dependent on my dad, for any sort of money. I'm here for you though if u need somebody to talk to

no worries just knowing someone is listening helps :) thanks