About My Story About Being Kidnapped

Hi Polestar, Thanks so much for having the courage to saying no I wont or cant share my story...I cant either .I have been thorugh many therapies and the best thing that works for me so far is using the light for protection at all times.. I will send you love and light and thank you so very much for your sharing...love and light from joylight

Polestar,



I can't tell one way or the other. I understand your need to not post too much because "others might have orders to harm you." I'm so sorry that this happened to you. God was smiling on you though because you are still alive and with your courage, I hope you find the peacefulness that you deserve.

It had been a really long time since I posted this about me being kidnapped. At some point I look back from months to years from when this happened in 2003 to 2004 and see how much I have recovered and healed to how much my perspective has changed or how my beliefs change on what happened to me. I sometimes do feel fear in talking about, even though my whole survival of this event in my life was only possible because of my lack of fear. I have meet others who have been through similar things like mine.. sometimes it seems way too similar. I think it is important to share as much as I can for others who may be looking for answers as I was when I first got home. That is how I met my BFF, was when she and I both had made it home and we were both all of the internet looking for answers.. we still often turn to the net to make sense of things. I was left with a lot of unanswered questions of what happened to me. I am not alone in that. It can be difficult being that their are some who may be attention seeking and some who are maybe not in full control of their actions because of maybe a mental defect or emotional defect that may mean no harm by false stories but in the end it really does cause harm. It is hard enough as it is to get my social circles to hear and understand my past but when false stories that muddy up the works are out there it even makes it harder to find validation at times. There is more than one kind of kidnapping in America and world wide. There are the sickos that take children and or women and sometimes even men.. for reasons to abuse or maybe for monetary intentions but there are at least several other kinds of abduction that go on as well. (I left out a big one, HUMAN TRAFFICKING) that is the one that got my best girl friend. Mine was a power move possibly.. I really don't know the full story, it was designed that way. My husband at the time was a lawyer and also his brother.. I have to be careful because of libel issues and boy does his brother love to sue. My X and I were always having problems.. he was very depressed and was mixed up in several toxic situations. This is one of the factors that keeps me from knowing what the for sure reason I was kidnapped was or for sure WHO it was.. I often think it began with my X so that he could gain custody and also just plain old control of me because I was leaving him because he has began using drugs and also severally beating me up. As a criminal defense attorney he has easy access to people who were more than willing to help him out .. sometimes just for free legal fees and often just to be in close ties to a lawyer.. he had a very bad habit of making too close of relationships with his clients and he had a huge need to be like by people no matter who they were.. he just made too many promises that he could not or would not follow through on. So I do think it started with him.. but at some point it was out of his hands and out of his control. He had a lot of enemies too. His law partner one year after we were married was indicted for conspiricy to distribute 2 tons of pot. We rushed down the fed court house he was being held in .. and he seemed way to guilty in his emotions about this.. (there is more to this story but I would be here all night trying to type it out) It is one of my theories that he turned his partner in to get himself out of a small drug charge.. then those people who owned that shipment were not very happy with him.. and by the time this all played out he had met me and we had our first child. Then not long after this happened he was working with a firm of counsel and had this contract with them based on percentages. So basically his clients were not really his they were "owned clients of the firm" when one of these clients offered my husband a fulltime position at their company and he accepted the partners that owned the law firm were EXTREMELY PISSED! Not only did my husband receive threats so did our family. (this was a father and son firm) the son even tracked us down in the new town we moved to for this job and confronted him. I don't know for a fact but I highly suspect that these people were involved in a southern maphia (I am spelling wrong and changing terms at times to avoid google searches) for my sake of comfort. Then there is the simple fact that my X was a very controlling and abusive man.. not to leave out that he has and had several phsyc issues. So everything I have mentioned so far is just my thinking of how it started, what happened during the almost full year after it started just gets crazier. There was everything from attempted murdier to my X being charged with intimidating a federal witness because he litarly attempted to get this girl out of jail for these bad guys so that they could muirder her.. this is something he has even told me about. He saw dead bodies in ice chest too.. Thankful I did not. The thing is I have to live with the fact that no one was charged with abducting me. No one was held accountable.. I have no police record to show my family ... during the time this was all happening my family I think thought I had just flown the coop at times.. I did see at times they did fear for my safety and my children's safety and even theirs too at times.. but I really was treated more as a perpetrator than a victim. I still am. I have never been able to heal properly (as I cry writing this) being that I never did get that release or validation. In my situation there was not really a line between the good guys and the bad.. it involve THE LAW as well as the criminals.. and until this happened to me I thought their was a clear difference between the law and the criminals.. I no longer see this line.. and for anyone out there that does not know this yet.. you better believe there is little to NO line between the two. From Government to Maphia from mobsters and thugs to police and lawyers and DA's. I have a wish to know what really happened to me before I die.. but not enough I guess to die trying to know the answers. I really want to write more about some of the details of what took place.. and especially about the things I did that were RIGHT in this thing that saved my life and made it possible for me to come out of it as whole as I did. I just can not do it all in one sitting.. The most important thing to me about sharing this is to bring awareness to those who just are not aware that these things happen right here in the USA and right in your own neighborhoods all the time.. but also I really want to share for those who are looking for answers and those who maybe can learn from what I did do right in a life and death situation. That's the kick right there, this thing I went through from October 2003 to October 2004 was a real Life and Death ordeal that I lived through for about 350 days and every one of those days I did not know if that day was going to be the day I would die, or be stuffed in sofa with duct tape on my mouth only to be let out long enough to be sexually abused or violated.. but I virtually came out of all that time with hardly a physical scratch. I came out mostly unharmed not because the people that were in control were not capable or because that was not their original intent or because they did not think of it.. It was something much more. The choices I made during this were perfectly instinctual and also divine, these choices I was able to made is the one big thing that separates my details from my best friends who was very badly physical harmed over and over. I look forward to sharing more about this again soon.. but for tonight I think I will stop here.. I look forward to hearing what people think about what I have said so far.. Lord knows I still am always looking for validation. I want to know what you think just based on what I have shared so far.. if you think these things that I have mentioned sounds like something leading to someone being held against their will. I will end this saying that I all too often even myself get into this trap of thinking I am the only one this has happened to, I forget that their is a women out there somewhere RIGHT THIS MINUTE being used, held and without her freedom. Keep your eyes really open people.. The world and America are in a very strange place right now. Please care about your neighbor and when you see or hear of someone going through a legal situation being it criminal, or family or whatever it is... or you see someone being treated unjustly.. or mistreated on any level... remember that this usually only happens to those who do not have someone to stand up for them.. this happens to those who do not have someone to hold whoever it is accountable.. they are alone and that means there is no one watching .. and that makes for a perfect opportunity for powers that be.. to do WHATEVER THE HECK THEY WANT... Do not, I repeat DO NOT EVER put your trust or your family in the hands of our legal system... EVER. XOXO's to you all.. cuz I right all this with the love I have.

Wow thousands of people died for slavery to end in the Civil War but I guess they died in vain because there is still slavery ( but in a different way.)

I would have like to have read it, but not at your expense.



I totally understand.



I hope you heal from what ever hell you've been through.

Yes, for me, I always thought that it could not happen to a man. That men just are not kidnapped in the USA and that we don't have to worry. I never used to eve say the word kidnapped because it could not possibly happen to me. It always was children or women. But never men. Or that is what I thought because of the majority of kidnappings we hear about.



Now, through what I went through, I found different. I found that yes, men also are kidnapped. The sad thing too, the media doesnt always report it and often times, kidnappings are not reported to authorities, and if they are, sometimes authorities dont even check on it because when men are taken, sometimes they treat it as an intentional leave. My wife never reported it because of her fears of me being killed if she did.



They had Tina so scared that she had a fear that they would know if she reported it and that she would never see me again because they killed me.



The truth is though, there are a lot of men kidnapped, just as well as women and children. But when researched, most of the time you only hear of women and children. I don't know why people dont want to hear that men do get kidnapped. But education is a key.



TJ

TJinBlueJeans, I am thankful for post. It has also been 8 years now for me since my kidnapping. It is always an on going process. for me to fit in, in everyday life. I just started a couple of months ago doing EMDR therapy and I highly recommend it to anyone who has been through a life or death situation or a trauma. You can find tons of information on EMDR on the web and I was surprised as to how many professionals there are offering the treatment in my area. I think there are whole lot more people who have been kidnapped that do not talk about it ever, or very little. The general population is not aware of how frequent abductions happen not just to children, not just to women and not just to bad girls. I also see that most of the perps that do these crimes often get away with what they have done. Many like myself find themselves with more than one reason why they can not turn to the authorities for help. The best thing we can do is to educate the public so that people can be much more aware of the truth. Most Americans that I have noticed do not want to know the truth though... they do not want the ugly on them.. or to have to believe that something like what happened to me could happen to them or to someone they love, but it sure can happen to them.



As much pain as my ordeal caused me it also has make me much smarter, stronger and more aware than most of my peers are. I find it to be important to me to share what I understand as best as I can. I find it even more important to do this in my daily life with the people around me than even on the net.. but I am also very thankful to the internet for bringing together all these others (including my now best friend of 5 years) who all have shared this same or similar experience as me. I can not imagine what it would be like healing near all alone.



Warmest love, polestar

I want to say that I was unsure about posting about my own experience of having been kidnapped, but after all the ogthers who came foreward, I decided I would also. Been 8 years since I was kidnapped during the dark hours of the morning while delivering newspapers at age 29. I did not know if I was going to ever see my wife and kids again. It was a horrifying experience, to be kidnapped and then tortured during the five months that I was being held. On top of that, the day they decided to try to kill me, they took me out to a wooded area and shot me 12 times. I just am thankful to the hunter who heard the shots -- it was by a miracle that he got to me or I would have been dead. Come fo find out he was an emt so he knew what to do.



For a while, I had a feear of going outside even after my kidnapping, but over time, i have overcome that fear. But, there are still times I lay awake at night wondering if every sound, every noise, is something I have to worry about. My wife doesnt know what it is like because I have not really talked to her about the kidnapping. But, what I can say is that for the first time, I finally have been able to open up about the whole experience by finding this board. Tina doesn't know that I have posted my experience on here, but I will tell her one of the days about what all happened to me during the time that I was kidnapped.

I hate to say this but some of these rings have government operatives. Some call it Monarch Slavery or Monarch Mind Control. And Yes it does exist--my pastor is ex-psyops--he cant really talk about it but does confirm it does it exist. This world is just getting so dark--its a shame you can't trust law enforcement anymore all the time. You should read about my poor daughter. I guess I my kidnapping was more a CPS thing and I can barely remember, and in my case it may have turned out for the better though my grammy fought it all the way.

Polestar, Well said. I was just reading some of the stories here and trying to decide "do I or don't I 'join' this group?" And if I do,people will want to know my "story". Do I start with stalking? Abduction? Losing my "innocence" as an unwilling 16 year old? Sleeping with a shot gun in bed with me years later? Panicing everytime the phone rang as I was walking into my home (flashbacks from stalking)?

But the biggest question was "Do I want to see that freaking logo under my 'experiences' everytime I scroll down the page, and do I want others to think that experience defines who I am today?

Because it doesn't. Sure, I have the memory. But that bis all it is....a memory. I did NOT assimilate THAT into the person I am today. I assimilated the experience, the wisdom, the itsy bitsy hypervigilant habits that keep me (and others) a tad safer, the knowledge that I have shared with my teen daughter of how to be much more assertive than I knew back then.

That time period was just that. A period in in my lifetime. It did influence me. But it did not become a part of me. I continued to grow and learn and develop, to evolve into who I am.

Sure, at the time it literally consumed me. And I felt as if I would always be 16 and ruined.

But, truth is, what I AM is a survivor, a fighter, an adaptable creature that is able to gather myself together and say "This too shall pass" as I pick up the pieces I wish to keep and discard the pieces that are trash.

I decide, daily, who and what I will be.

And I decided a long,long,long time ago I will be.....Happy. I will be......Honest. I will be.......Kind. I will be......Full of Faith. I will be.......Available When Needed.

And so, I thank you today for helping me to decide if I should "join" this group. I won't. I can't do so and feal "Real". Because the actual happenings are so very far away and I am so much More today than what I was at the age of 16. It would ALMOST be like me clicking on "Me Too" to a group with the Experience of "I Got My First Haircut".

Odd as this may sound to some people, I just am not able to relate to the event the way I once was.

Perhaps that will atleast give a tiny spark of hope to someone that is presently "in the moment" of feeling consumed by someone else's horrid, twisted desires.

You are so much more than what you feel like at the time. Don't try to "get over ity", get THROUGH it, and you will come out on the other side a new person. Shining like a diamind that has been cut and polished.

I am so sorry that you had to go through what you went through.Bless you

How old were you when you were kidnapped and have you tried to contact your parents or other family members since?

This is why we need to legalize prostitution so that brothels can be well-regulated, safe, employees given fair wages, and NO SLAVERY. The disgusting sex-slavers (who I think deserve nothing less than death) would lose a huge portion of their industry if the public could go to legitimate institutions.



I think we all should have learned by now that you can't legislate something out of existence, that prostitution hasn't had a dent put in it by keeping it illegal, and that we can't legislate individual morality. If two consenting adults want to exchange money for sex, then that's their business.



All making it illegal has done, is result in the explosive growth of the sex slavery industry that victimizes poor women like Polestar.